


Heartstone: Rouge and Rose

by Kittycatkyla23



Series: Heartstone [4]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Angst and Tragedy, Biblical Themes (Abrahamic Religions), Consensual Sex, Dark fic, F/M, Fae & Fairies, Gang Rape, Gender Identity, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Harpies, Hentai, Heterosexual Sex, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Motherhood, Normalized Rape, Original Monster Designs, Pregnancy, Rape Culture, Single Parents, Steampunk elements, Unplanned Pregnancy, Yaoi, original concepts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 82,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26132575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycatkyla23/pseuds/Kittycatkyla23
Summary: Toudaimoto Kurashi is a confident young doctor with a dark secret. However, they will not let that secret impede on their life more than it already has.As the gynecologist of the town, it falls on Toudaimoto to examine and care for the pregnant Hachimenroppi. However such a task is hard press when they have no clue how the monster's body works. With no other option, Toudaimoto turns to the only person who may be willing to help them--Hachimenroppi's best friend and fellow Heartstone, Rubi. Headstrong and full of himself, there is no doubt that Rubi will single-handedly disturb Toudaimoto's peaceful days forevermore.
Relationships: Ruby no Yubiwa/Toudaimoto Kurashi
Series: Heartstone [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581079
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30
Collections: Hunter Series Concept Writes





	1. Prologue

A man lied on a very comfortable bed, however, he was probably the most uncomfortable he'd ever been. The lights were off because they hurt his eyes. The blanket was over him with the heat cranked up to full and a heating pad underneath him because he was just so cold. He was gasping harshly, his breathing raspy.

The young seventeen-year-old sat by his side, lifting a kettle of water to his mouth. The teen put the end of the nozzle into between his dry lips and poured softly. The black-haired person made sure not to pour for long, less they accidentally drown the man in the bed. Despite the water touching his throat, it provided no relieve. He was still parched, still in agony and hurting.

This man was terribly sick. There was no name for the disease, nor was there a cure. Despite only been in his thirties, it was apparent he would soon meet his end by this wasting disease. Luckily, he wouldn't have to suffer for much longer. As the clocked turned to 11:55p.m. on the 24th of February, he knew his time would come in just five more minutes.

The teen put the kettle down and simply sat on their knees by the bedside. Their hand came around the man's, holding his in both of their own. The young person felt completely helpless. The only thing they could do was hold the man's

“Is there anything I can get you, Dad?” the seventeen-year-old asked. “Do you need more blankets?”

“No...” The man rasped. “This is fine, Toudai.”

The man turned his head to look at his child. The teen was barely holding their composure. Tears flooded those brown orbs but they held them back. A smile laced their face, but it was crooked and their bottom lip was quivering.

A sad smile crept across the man's face. “I'm sorry I have to do this to you, my child.”

The child shook their head. “No, it's not your fault. It's not...it's my...fault.”

The man chuckled. “How is this possibly your fault, Toudaimoto?”

“Because I...!” The teen tilted their head down, clenching their teeth hard. “I...I slept with Tsugaru. It's because I lost my virginity to Tsugaru that you got sick. You told me never to acknowledge I was a girl and yet I went and—”

“No, no, no, Toudai, it's not your fault.” The man squeezed Toudai's hand. “It was cruel of me to expect such a thing from you. It was cruel of Oberon to place this curse on you. Nothing is your fault, my beautiful girl.”

Toudai looked up at him, surprised to hear their father called them a 'girl'. Their whole life, it was 'boy' 'son' and 'young man'. In their seventeen years of life, never had they been called a girl, not by their father at least.

The man pulled his hand out of Toudai's and reached forward. His trembling fingers touched the prominent, jagged scar that went all the way around Toudai's neck. He touched it gingerly, a fond smile crossing his face.

“You were a miracle, Toudai. You were the greatest thing to happen to my life, the greatest thing to happen to your mother's life. We've accepted our punishment with a smile on our faces and that hasn't changed now.”

Tears threatened to leak from Toudai's eyes as the teen grabbed his father's hand.

“Dad...Diamond...I...”

“My precious daughter. You were too good for this world. Do not blame yourself. No matter what people say, no matter how people treat you, you are a girl. There is nothing wrong with wanting to embrace a part of you.”

“But if I had listened to you...If I had never acknowledged—”

“It was inevitable, Toudai. I knew this day would come.”

Toudai clenched their teeth.

The clock ticked to 11:57p.m.

“Now, Toudai, listen to me, and listen to me well. My suffering will end soon. However, that also means that I won't be able to protect you anymore. I won't be able to watch out for you anymore. You'll have to take care of yourself now.”

11:58p.m.

“Just remember and never forget, so long as you are a boy, you will be able to live happily. But the moment you decide to be a girl, you will be cursed to fates of unending suffering. So, please, Toudai, continue to be a boy. Live a long, prosperous and fulfilling life.”

11:59p.m.

“Be a person that I'm proud to call my child.”

Toudai's bottom lip quivered. They clenched their teeth hard to make that stop. They then forced a smile, squeezing Diamond's arm.

“I will, Dad.”

Diamond smiled.

The clock struck midnight. February 25th. It was officially Toudai's 18th birthday. With that, Diamond let out an exhale, his very last breath. The hand that was touching Toudai's neck fell limp in the teens hand as the light left the older man's eyes.

Toudai's smile slowly left his feminine face. The tears that he had been fighting back finally spilled forth. He squeezed Diamond's limp arm tightly before burying his face into the bed covers. He didn't have to put on a brave face anymore so he wouldn't. Now that he was alone in the room, he would cry to his hearts content, clutching the hand of his deceased father. As he sobbed, shadows began to billow around his legs. They stretched out farther and farther until the whole room was encased in shadows.


	2. Chapter 1

“Waah, it's so nice to meet you!” The brunette called with a sparkle in her eye. “I'm Karisawa Erika! I'll be making you're clothes today!”

Roppi took a step back, looking at the excited woman with a confused scowl. “Uh...Hi...”

The woman beamed. “I've wanted to meet you for so long! We've never talked to a Heartstone before and the notion that all of you are male, _hee_! That means you're practicing BL, aren't you?!”

“BL?”

“Boy's Love.” Tsugaru stated, sitting down on the sofa. “She's talking about homosexuality.”

Roppi still looked confused.

“Um,” Tsuki started, “We-well, see with ge-gender, a man and-and a woman are supposed to m-marry. Bo-boy's Love, homosexuality, is whe-when two men or two women fa-fall in love.”

Tsuki looked at him. He then looked at Erika. “You're a woman, right?”

Erika nodded.

Roppi looked her up and down. His gaze stopped to stare at her prominent chest. “Delic's been showing what a woman is with their 'porn books' but they are all 'censored'. Looking at you like this, you don't look much different than I do. Your chest's just swollen.”

Erika chuckled. “They're not swollen. If my breasts were swollen, it's because I'm pregnant, but I can assure you, I'm not. They're always this size.”

Roppi cocked a brow. “Your breasts swell when you lay an egg?”

“We don't lay eggs. We have live births.”

“Oh, right. Like ski-ski's and dugima's.”

“Ski-ski's?”

“The little furballs with giant tails.”

“Oh, squirrels?”

“Skeerel?”

“Squirrels.”

Roppi glowered. “That sounds weird.”

Erika chuckled.

“We got off track.” Tsugaru started. “Hachimen-san needs new clothes. Ones that aren't as provocative or revealing.”

After nearly a month, it was high time Roppi got some clothes that _didn’t_ show most of his ass cheeks. Tsugaru understood that the Heartstone needed space for his wings, but that didn’t mean he had to wear such exposing clothes. Roppi was going to need custom clothes, thus, they had to go to a tailor. Said tailor was a close friend of Tsugaru’s, so he wasn’t too worried of getting turned away because the client was a Heartstone.

Roppi glared at Tsugaru. “It's not like us Coravak's wear _revealing_ clothes because we're trying to be _provocative_. We can't wear things like what you're wearing without compromising our ability to fly or snagging on our legs. You try to put pants on a chicken and tell me how comfortable your chicken will be.”

Tsugaru glowered, but didn't say anything.

Erika smiled. “I think we can figure out a design that'll fit both your needs.” Erika looked at Tsugaru then at Roppi. “I'm thinking a sleeveless yukata of black and red. If you would, take off your shirt so I can get your measurements.”

“...Uh-huh.”

Roppi reached up and undid the button on the back of his neck, hidden by the fur. The shirt flopped down to expose his pale torso. He then reached behind him and undid the button on the bottom hem—the only part of the shirt that went over his back on that lovely backless shirt.

Erika picked up a rolled-up measuring tape. “Turn around please?”

Roppi did so.

“Heh, funny. You look more naked from the front.”

Tsugaru's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything. No one noticed the stare as Erika took Roppi's measurements. Tsuki sat next to his brother, but he pulled out a book to read while they waited.

Roppi's stomach curled in pain for a moment. He clenched his teeth but kept his lips seals so no one would know.

“You know,” Erika started, “it's so romantic what you and Tsuki-kun are doing. A pair of star-crossed lovers trying to make a difference in the world. True love! True yaoi love!”

She let out a sigh of what Roppi could only assume was ecstasy as she smiled with flushed cheeks.

“It's not true love.” Roppi said.

“Eh?”

Tsuki's eyes widened.

Roppi looked over his shoulder at him. “Coravak's don't mate based on love. We mate based on looks. As soon as I saw Tsuki, I knew Tsuki and I would make a beautiful pair of children. Tsuki's red eyes match mine and Tsuki has a beautiful face. If the child has cream-colored feathers like Tsuki's hair, they would look truly stunning. After all, brightly colored Coravak's are able to attract mates better. If our child is pale-colored, then come mating season, there will be flocks of suitors at their beck and call—so long as they don't find out the child's a half-breed.”

“Raise your arms and extend your wings as far out as you can.” Erika commanded.

Roppi did so. “When it comes to mating, we go by looks. Love can come later.”

“Do you guys mate for life?”

“Yes.”

“But what if the person you become mated to has a terrible personality? If you go off of appearance alone, you may end up in a shallow relationship.”

“Well, yes, but we also do our...what the word? Reserve?”

“Research?” Tsuki voiced.

“Yeah. That. We do our research on them first. We don't want to choose a mate and then find out they have a terrible birth defect.”

“Did you do research on Tsukishima?” Tsugaru asked.

Roppi glanced at him. “As much as I could. I spent the whole day watching him. And, I mean, Tsuki let me go when they could have taking my Minlir. The only thing I needed to be sold on them was the reason they let me go.”

“Why did he let you?” Erika asked, looking particularly happy.

Roppi paused, looking at Tsuki.

“Because I-I...” Tsuki started, “I knew forcing myself on another person would-would just make me a dirty animal.”

Erika's eyes widened to the statement. Tsuki glanced to the side as he frowned.

“I—Ever sin-since Psy's Masculine Cue, I-I couldn't stomach the idea of doing som-something so-so vile to...anyone, wh-whether they're monster or human. I...I thought I could ignore it. Everyone said it was fine be-because of our-our tradition so I tried, but...”

Tsuki shook his head.

“It was wrong to even try.”

Roppi smiled. “And that's all I needed to hear to choose Tsuki. Knowing they has a conscious and the backbone to go against your _traditions_ ,” he said the word with venomous spite. “In my opinion, Tsuki's more of a _man_ than any bastard in this village that stole a Minlir.”

Erika just stared before a smile crossed her face. “My husband would agree with you.”

Roppi cocked a brow. His stomach tightened painfully, making his black talons curl. Again, he kept quiet.

“Walker-san,” Tsugaru said, gaining Roppi's attention, “Doesn't have a Heartstone Brand.”

Tsuki jolted.

“He became engaged to Erika-chan at 17, and thus chose to not do his Masculine Cue.”

“He didn't want to have sex with anyone but me.” Erika smiled happily. “So, he didn't want to do his Masculine Cue.”

“How-how did he b-buy a house if he was-wasn't legal?!” Tsuki asked. “You have-have to be a man to get a house d-deed.”

“To get a house deed, yes.” Tsugaru looked at him, “however, it is perfectly legal to make a house, regardless of if you're a man or not. When Walker-san made that decision, Kyuhei-san helped him make this house.”

“How was he-he able to work?”

Tsugaru cocked a brow. Then realization crossed his expression and he glanced to the side. “Ah, well, he...works a job that doesn't require legality to work.”

Tsuki tilted his head. “Eh?”

Erika chuckled. “My husbands an author. Manga artist and the sort.”

Tsuki's eyes stretched wide with realization. “Oh!”

Roppi cocked a brow. “What's manga?”

Tsuki looked at him, “Um, a story but in dr-drawings instead of words.”

“Oh.” Roppi nodded. “You don't need to be this 'legal' to draw?”

“No, of course not.” Tsugaru said. “Anyone can publish a book.”

Roppi nodded.

“I-I haven't seen any of his boo-books before.” Tsuki said, “Wh-what does Walker-san write?”

“You don't need to know.” Tsugaru said that far faster than he needed to.

“Eh?” Tsuki's eyes widened.

Erika snickered.

Tsuki glowered at his brother. _**'I'm a man now and he still treats me like a kid.'**_

Roppi chuckled. _**'Tsuki's so cute when they pout.'**_

Roppi felt a rumble in his throat. He put a hand over his mouth and burped softly.

“Sorry.” He put his arm back out. “My stomachs been weird this morning.”

“You're fine.” Erika smiled. “Maybe it's morning sickness.”

Roppi cocked a brow. “What?”

“Oh, do you not have that? When women are pregnant, we start feeling nauseous at around four weeks.”

“Oh. No, we don't have that. At four weeks is when we should be laying out fertile egg.”

“Oh really?! You're not showing at all!”

“Showing?”

“A baby bump.” She wrapped the measuring tape around Roppi's flat stomach for emphasis. “When women are pregnant, they're stomach will start expanding to make room for the growing baby.”

Roppi's eyes stretched wide. “That sounds absolutely terrible! It _expands_?! That word means to swell, doesn't it?! Er, to make larger?!”

“Yeah, it does. It's because the baby's growing, getting bigger and bigger until it's at least seven to ten pounds.”

“Seven to ten—Why are they so heavy?! Our eggs are only five pounds at most!”

She just shrugged. “I didn't make biology. I don't know.”

“Régan k _ú_ rosh*!” Roppi tilted his head back in exasperation.

Erika chuckled. “While we're talking about female pregnancy, women also have to go through a nine month pregnancy.”

Roppi jolted. “NINE MONTHS?!”

“Hachimen-san,” Tsugaru scolded, “Don't yell.”

“Don't yell?! Who wouldn't yell when hearing someone has a nine month pregnancy?! And that's the average?!”

“Usually, yes.” Erika said. “Sometimes we have a ten month pregnancy, or an eight month. Premature births are scary, but we have decent medicine now, so at least it's not terribly dangerous.”

Roppi shook his head. “No. No, no, no. I'm so glad I'll be laying an egg!”

Erika chuckled. “By the way, have you talked to Toudai-kun yet?”

Roppi cocked a brow. “Toudai-kun?”

“He's our gynecologist.” Tsugaru stated, arms crossed and just watching. “We talked about this before, recall. He specializes in women's health, especially during pregnancy.” He then looked at Erika. “We did not think to bother Toudaimoto with this. After all, if he is to lay an egg, it is not as if Toudai will be of proper assistance.”

“Ah, guess that's true. Are you sure he'll be laying an egg though? You can put you arms down, Roppi-chan. And put your shirt back on.” Erika walked away, writing on a parchment.

Roppi did as advised. His stomach churned and he let out a soft groan. He held his stomach as he bent forward slightly. He grabbed his shirt, then leaned on the table said shirt was on to rest for a moment. With the pain came an ache—a fatigue—in his legs. Tsuki certainly noticed that.

“I mean, Heartstone's may lay eggs, but humans have live births.” Erika continued, “It's like a bird trying to impregnate a cat. Is it even possible for humans and Heartstone's to breed?”

“I assure you, it's possible.” Roppi glared over his shoulder at the woman. “Your piece of shit mayor, Shiki, is my 'father', after all.”

Erika looked at him wide-eyed. “What?! He is?!”

Roppi scoffed. “No surprise they didn't tell anyone that part.”

Roppi went about putting his shirt on.

Tsuki stood and walked over to the raven. He said in a low voice, “Are you okay?”

Roppi looked at him. “...Yeah. I'm just tired. I slept wrong or something.”

Tsuki didn't look convinced. But he nodded all the same.

“Well,” Tsugaru said, “the whole point of Hachimen-san's stay is to prove that Tsuki is the father.”

“Do you plan to do a blood test when the baby's born?” Erika asked.

“Yes. If he lays an egg, we can't do a blood test until the egg hatches.”

“That's true. If you try to take one, you'll have to crack the egg.”

“Yes, and as you know, that'll kill the baby.”

“Right, right.” Erika nodded. “Okay, I understand.”

“Just so you know,” Roppi said, completely dressed. “Most breeds of monsters can breed with humans, regardless of their normal breeding merchantism.”

“Merchan—you mean mechanism?”

“Yeah, that.” Roppi shivered, ruffling his feathers. “I can't name many breeds who can't breed with humans somehow. Even Erook's have been known to make half-breeds.”

“Erook's?”

“I think the word you humans use is 'dragon'. Every monster calls them 'erook' though.”

All their eyes widened.

“Dragons?” Erika voiced.

“Dr-dragons are rea-real?” Tsuki asked.

“Of course they are.” Roppi stated. “We don't see many of them around anymore. Human's hunted them mercilessly way back when, and when they went into hiding, a lot of monsters started poaching them for their scales, wings, and horns. For humans, a single scale is the equalizer to a bar of gold. They're inde—um, indi...hm...”

Roppi scowled with annoyance.

“They don't break to anything. You can't burn them or crush them. They never lose their gloss, their shine.”

“They're indestructible.” Tsugaru said.

“Is that the word?”

“I believe so.”

Roppi nodded. “But yeah, Erook's went into hiding a long, long time ago. There's rumors that they have their own realm, that the first Erook made a place just for erooks. I think humans know of a place similar to that. Avalon. Or Eden.”

Tsuki nodded. “W-we've heard of them. Pl-places that are hi-hidden from the world and can-can only be entered through, li-like, a portal or-or a spec-special boat or something?”

“I'm surprised you heard about the portal part. I would assume humans didn't know about the use of the moon rumor.”

“U-use of the moon?”

“Oh, you don't know? They say to get to Avalon you need a unicorn to use the moon to make a portal.”

“O-oh, I've heard of fairy po-portals. Th-that fairies wi-will make portals to whisk children a-away.”

“Huh. Never heard of that one before. Why would fairies take children?”

“The legend is,” Tsugaru input, “That fairies steal the first born sons to give to Oberon, king of the fairies.”

Roppi's eyes narrowed. “...Okay. I don't know much about Oberon, but I know for a fact they don't steal children. Queen Titania would not be loyal if the king was that vile. If anything, Oberon'll steal your flowers, so they can make children.”

“ _Make_ children?” Tsugaru cocked a brow.

“Yeah. You've never heard of Fairymentals?”

Everyone looked blank. Roppi chuckled.

“Well,” Erika started, “You boys can relax while I sketch out this design.”

“O-okay.” Tsuki intertwined his fingers with Roppi's and tugged him towards the sofa.

Roppi didn't argue since he wanted to sit down anyway. Tsugaru scooted over to provide room. Tsuki and Roppi sat down, Roppi sitting on his hip instead of on his rump to keep his tail feathers from bending. The raven then slouched back and rested his hands on his legs, so his legs were covered by his wings.

“So, fairymentals...” Tsugaru coaxed.

“Yeah, so, 'fairymental' is just one of their many names. They go by 'The Daughters of Oberon' and 'Four-Crown Elementals' as well. Legends that we know are, in the beginning the Earth was uninhabitable. But with a little spit and polish the one known as 'God' saw it could be made into a goodly home for His new passion project. He created Eden, a pocket realm on Earth and put His two lovely children there for keepsake. After that, He created the elements. But they were lawless, unruly, and nothing more than raw power. So He gave them bodies in His image—ergo, He gave them human forms. He gave them intelligence and set them on their tasks to create a habitable world. The elementals did it for the most part. Working with and working against each other, they made the air breathable, they created grass, the oceans, the landmasses.

“But even then, they were still unfiltered.” Roppi continued, “They still did as they wanted, running rampant across Earth. Even worse off, they would get into fights with each other and cause great calamities—earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis. It was obvious that no matter how much intelligence God poured into the elementals, they would still act recklessly. What they needed was someone to guide them, someone like them who could put their foot down when needed.

“And thus, God made a being above man, above monster, and above the elementals, but under the angels and Himself. This was Oberon. The first fairy. Oberon made it clear to the elementals who the king was and they obeyed Oberon without question. Oberon protected them from God's wrath while also establishing their own rule with no room to argue. There was order—for the most part. Oberon allowed their subjects to enjoy themselves and stopped any disputes. However, Oberon had a faulty personality. Oberon didn't see the harm in their subjects causing calamities. The elementals were just having fun, after all. When God commanded Oberon to control their subjects, Oberon responded with 'Well, I am their king so I may command my subjects the way I see fit. And I see no reason to stop them.'

“This, of course, enraged God.” Roppi went on, “And so, He sent His left hand, Lucifer, down to remove Oberon. However, God had made Oberon in such a way that killing Oberon wouldn't be easy, even for an angel. No mortal means can kill Oberon, thus why He sent an angel to remove the king. Oberon and Lucifer fought, in which Lucifer landed seven cuts on Oberon. While they battled, God was making something in the background. Lucifer was just meant to distract Oberon so He could make something to stop the Fairy King. A being that would be completely obedient and be able to wrangle in the elementals without question. A being made from nothing. God created something from a collapsar.”

“Wh-what's a collapsar?” Tsuki asked.

“A black hole.” Tsugaru answered.

Tsuki's eyes stretched wide.

Roppi chuckled. “Anyway, that something came to be. It was called 'The Pygmy'. Small, gamely, and unable to leave its black throne, the only way The Pygmy could control the elementals was with its book. Their book that had the names of every elemental in it. That's where the whole 'saying a fairies true name gives you power over the fairy'. With every name sprouted a tether, connecting that elemental to the book. It was at the Pygmy's discretion to do as it wanted with the tether. I heard that the pain could be as excruciating as swallowing the sun. The elementals had to obey or else. Oberon included.

“Clearly upset with the turn of events, Oberon called upon the only being that could help them. A being equal to the God. A being that is to us 'monsters' as God is to you. The Sister.”

“Wait, hold on.” Tsugaru stated, putting a hand on. “Your way of speech has been a little bit confusing.”

“What do you mean?”

“We know you do not use gender-based pronouns. However, you have been using 'he' 'his' and 'him' whenever you speak of God. And now you use the word 'sister'. Do you actually use gender-based pronouns?”

“I don't really know what you mean by pronouns, but the gender thing isn't in our language. But whenever we learned about God and The Sister, we were taught to use those words to refer to Him, He, and His. As for the Sister, I thought that word was, like, the opposite of God.”

Tsugaru shook his head. “The opposite of 'god' would be 'goddess'. Sister is when your sibling is a female.”

“Huh. Well, I don't know. Those were just the words we were told to say when talking about the creators of the world.”

Tsugaru nodded. “Understood. Sorry for interrupting. Please continue.”

He gestured for Roppi to go on.

Roppi nodded. “Right, so, where was I at?”

“The Sister is your God.”

“Right, so yes. The Sister is to us inhuman's as God is to you. The world supposedly started from three extraordinary beings: God, The Sister, and The Dragonborne. I don't know if you guys ever heard of this, but many, many years ago, long before Adam and Lilith were let loose on the world, there were these creatures called melginors. Giant lizard-like creatures that roamed the lands and seas.”

“I believe you are speaking of dinosaurs.” Tsugaru stated.

Roppi nodded. “Well, these 'dinosaurs' were brought by the Dragonborne, King of the Dragons, Elder Dragon, the First Dragon, whatever you want to call him. Apparently, God wasn't the only thing out there looking for an inhabitable planet and the world was big, so why not share? Of course, God didn't like that, but I'm getting off track.

“Anyway, so Oberon called for aid from the Sister, who happily obliged. Copying God's Eden, she made a pocket realm for Oberon and their subjects—thus how Avalon came into being. Of course, Oberon couldn't get all of their subjects to this new haven. Many were already called back by their tethers. Once inside Avalon, the tethers were broken, but until they could reach that place, they are bound to the Pygmy. Oberon managed to save half of their subjects, while the other half is the reason we are able to continue living an inhabitable world.

“Once the elementals were gone,” Roppi kept going, “the Dragonborne brought their species to the planet and began a long feud with God. But that's a story for another time.”

“W-wait,” Tsuki interrupted, “So-so you're s-saying that mon-monsters weren't m-made by God? That another God made monsters?”

“That's how the legends go.” Roppi looked at him and sneered. “And, I mean, isn't that preferable to the alternative? Would you rather God have made man and monster? That God purposefully created beings above man to terrorize them and make their lives a living hell? If God created all life on Earth, then that means He created vampires, werewolves, erooks, all with the intentions that they would hurt and kill man—His most prized creation. Man, who He demanded the angels bow to and be subservient to. Yet He made monsters who enjoyed tearing them limb from limb.”

Tsuki fell quiet.

“Makes more sense that monsters were made without His consent, wouldn't it?”

Tsuki didn't reply as he cast his gaze to the ground.

“You got off-track again, Hachimen-san.” Tsugaru said. “You were trying to explain the fairymentals.”

Roppi jolted. “Right! Fairymentals! Okay, so that's how Oberon made it to Avalon, with their many subjects. After they were all settled, Oberon asked the Sister for a wife, so that they may bear child. Supposedly, Oberon had asked God for this before everything went down, but God refused, saying He did not need to make two when there only needed to be one ruler of the elementals. The Sister granted Oberon their request—making Queen Titania. However, the two could not make children through a union of the body. They could not breed like God's humans could. It was never really explained why. If God made Oberon so the king couldn't bear children or if The Sister played a cruel prank on Oberon. Either or way, Oberon just couldn't have children. Oberon became depressed until Queen Titania came up with a splendid idea. See, flower buds are a very powerful things. No matter the type of flower, a bud is a symbol of beauty and purity. Given the right amount of magic, flowers can be turned into different things. I don't know if you've ever heard of legends pertaining to flowers, but one legend in particular stands as a good example of the power of flowers. The death of Baldur at the hands of the mistletoe arrow.”

“Oh, I know this one!” Tsuki said with excitement. “Lady Freya went around the entire world and asked everything in existence not to hurt her son, Baldur—except for the mistletoe since she saw it as weak and nonthreatening. Loki found this out and carved an arrow of mistletoe. Baldur was showing off that he couldn't be hurt, having everyone throw things at him and they would just bounce off. Loki then convinced Baldur's lame and blind younger brother to throw the arrow at his brother, under the guise that it would bounce off like everything else had. Loki guided his hand and the arrow struck Baldur dead.”

Roppi smiled. “Glad you know it.”

Tsuki smiled back.

“So yes,” Roppi continued, “flowers can be made magical quite easily. And one day, Queen Titania was off on their own while their husband grieved their infertility. While out, the Queen witnessed the birth of a fairy from the bud of a flower. It was well known that fairies, pixies, and even fairy dragons were born from flower buds. If lesser beings could use the flowers to make life, why couldn't an Adam and Eve of a species? Queen Titania returned to the King, and together they poured a piece of their souls into a flower bud. Like that, the flower bud would become their womb and birth a child.

“Because of the nature of their birth, these children are obviously fairy's. And because they were magically imbued from flowers, they can turn into flower petals at will—which is very beautiful, I heard. But because of who their father is, they are also elementals. And because of who their mother is, they are all strictly female. That's why they are 'The Daughters of Oberon' and why they're 'Four-Crown elementals'. They're not as powerful as their father, who can control all eight elements and then some, but they are still the strongest elementals under Oberon. 'Four-Crowns' means that they have control of four of the elements—earth, wind, fire, and water. That's why most humans say there are only four elements, because the daughters can only use those specific four. And since fairymentals were one of the monsters to teach humans magic, it stands to reason that the humans would assume that's all there is to the elements.”

“Wa-wait,” Tsuki said, “Wha-what do you m-mean 'eight' elements?”

Roppi's smile became crooked. “Okay, so there's earth, wind, fire, water, lightning, gas, acid, and shadows. Shadow and lightning tend to be called darkness and light by you humans.”

“B-but isn't li-lightning ju-just a stronger ver-version of fire?”

“Who told you that?”

“Um, well, because ele-electricity burns.”

“So does ice. Your point?”

“Um...well...ice burns aren't the same...”

“Neither are electrical burns.”

Tsuki fell quiet.

“Yes, lightning is hot, but that doesn't mean it's the same as fire. Just because you can control water doesn't mean that you can make it into ice. There are things known as the laws of nature, and you can't just assume things click together just because their close. An earth elemental will not be able to bend trees, nor will a water elemental be able to freeze a lake. They have control of water, not cold. Just as they have control of fire, not sparks.”

“But sparks make fire.”

“Water makes ice. What is your point?!”

Tsuki glowered in annoyance. Roppi matched that glower right back.

Roppi leaned in close and bumped forehead with Tsuki. The blond closed his eyes to the impact but wasted no time opening them again. The two glowered at each other still.

“You're fricken cute.” Roppi growled, that glare still in place.

“So, are you, but you're still a know-it-all.”

“It's not my fault your view on the world is small.”

“Mer.”

Roppi held back a laugh as that glower turned into a smile. Tsuki glowered for a moment longer before smiling back. The two shared a brief kiss to make up. Said kiss earned an excited squeal from Erika. Roppi chuckled before he rested his head on Tsuki's shoulder.

“I think that's all there is to say about the fairymentals.” Roppi said, “What was the point of bringing them up anyway?”

“You mentioned,” Tsugaru said, “That Oberon is more likely to steal flowers than children.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, that's why. Flowers can make Oberon more babies.”

Tsugaru nodded. “That is quite interesting.”

Roppi nodded as well.

“When you say that there are eight elements, does that mean there are eight types of elementals?”

“Yeah.”

“That means there is an elemental that is shadow-born?”

“Yeah, the dullahans.”

Tsugaru cocked a brow. “Are dullahans not a form of grim reaper?”

“Yeah, their Oberon's form of the grim reaper. Oberon made the dullahan's, like Oberon made most of the faes. When Oberon found out that God made grim reapers, the king decided they were going to make some too, as a kind of 'I'm my own god' kind of thing. So from shadows, Oberon made the headless horsewomen.”

“How-how do you know all this?” Tsuki asked.

Roppi shrugged. “Same way you know about Adam and Eve. They're just legends passed down for generations. It's not like I've actually been to Avalon or seen Oberon. I haven't even seen an erook or dullahan. But, just as you've never seen God, you still believe. It's the same thing.”

“I-I wasn't going to question it.” Tsuki wrapped his arms around Roppi. “If you exist, then I'm sure all the other monsters we've heard of exist too.”

Roppi smiled. “Glad to know you're not a skeptic.”

Tsuki tilted his head and rested it on top of Roppi's. A stab of pain jolted through Roppi's stomach, making him inhale deeply. He tilted his head down, rubbing his forehead on Tsuki's shoulder.

“Are-are you sure you're okay?” Tsuki asked.

“...Yeah. Just a stomachache.”

“D-Do you want to go home and l-lie down?”

Roppi looked up at him, then looked over at Erika. The woman was drawing on a parchment, obviously making a design for Roppi.

“Um, Ka-Karisawa-san,” Tsuki started, “do-do we need to stay here fo-for you to make the attire?”

“No.” Erika said. “But I would like you to stay a little longer. After I finish the designs, I want Roppi to pick his colors. Ah,” She tilted her head up as realization crossed her face. “We could chose the colors now, and I'll show you the designs later.”

“Th-that would be appre-appreciated.”

Erika nodded She then stood. “Come over here, Roppi-chan.”

Roppi stood and followed. She led him to a closet. Upon opening it, she exposed layers upon layers of fabric. They were in order of the rainbow and every main color had different hues. She walked over to the blacks and pushed everything to the side so the black fabric was isolated.

“Pick your poison.”

Roppi cocked a brow, tilting his head as he stared at the fabric. They were all black to him. There was no defining difference between the colors. He reached his hand out and touched some of them. He realized they felt different.

He grabbed one that felt extremely soft to the touch. He liked that feel. To make sure he actually liked it, he rubbed his face against it.

“I like this one.” Roppi said.

“Is the shade alright?”

Roppi looked at her confused. “I mean, they're all black, so it doesn't matter. But this one feels nice.”

She looked a little disappointed. “Okay.”

She grabbed the fabric.

“So you like chiffon. What about satin? Or nylon?”

“I don't know anything you're saying.”

“Okay, okay.” She pulled out two more fabrics. “Feel these.”

Roppi did so. They felt very similar to the one he touched before.

“They feel the same.” The raven said.

“Then you wouldn't mind if I made different sets with these three types of fabrics?”

“Yeah, that's fine.”

“Alright, and you don't care what type of black, right?”

“There's actually different types of black?”

“Of course! There's ebony, crow, midnight, ink, onyx and a whole plethora of other shades of black!”

“...Huh...”

She deflated a little. “Since you have black wings, I figured you'd know the different between the shades.”

Roppi just shrugged. “I mean, I know my wings are darker than others, but not by that much.”

She nodded. “Okay. Would you mind holding your wing up?”

Roppi obeyed. Erika reached behind the hanging fabrics and pulled out a wooden accordion drying rack. She put the three fabrics in her hand on one of the racks, then reached above the hanging fabrics to a pile of clothes on top. She pulled down the black pile and held them to her chest. She lied the clothes on the flat surface on top of the rack. Once done, she then grabbed the top fabric and held it out to Roppi's outstretched wing. She held it there for a moment, then put it to the side. She did the same with the next clothe. This one she lied on one of the racks below.

Roppi felt another stab in his stomach, one that made him openly cringe. But he kept his voice from spilling forth.

Erika repeated this act of comparing blacks until she reached the bottom of the pile. Out of all of the fabrics, only two of them were lied on the rack. The rest were refolded and put on top to make a new pile. Once done, she grabbed the three and held them up to his wing again.

“So, I think midnight and onyx fit your feathers the best.” She said. “Now to reds.”

She put the stack of blacks on the top shelf and went a few steps to the left to get to the red stack. She repeated the process of comparing the fabric color to Roppi's red-tipped feathers. She also held them up to his face to compare them to his eyes.

A jolt passed through Roppi's body, hard and quick that it made his knees buckle. His body became extremely hot, uncomfortably hot, for a moment. He then shuddered, ruffling his feathers as a flash of cold passed through him.

“You okay?” Erika asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Roppi said. “Just a little chilly.”

“Should I turn off the AC?”

“It's fine. The faster we pick some colors, the sooner I can get outside in the sun.”

“Okay.” the woman nodded.

Erika started moving a little faster as she continued her comparison. She put three reds on the racks and the rest were folded to be put back on top.

“So, here's what I'm thinking.” Erika said. “I'm thinking of making a jumpsuit that are shorts and backless. Well let it have a train or a loincloth so that it'll cover more of your legs without rubbing against your rough skin. I'm also thinking of some yukata's that'll give you plenty of room to breathe. The primary colors are going to be black and red, with linings of some lighter colors, like white.”

“I don't like white. It stains easily and is impossible to clean.”

“Okay. Then how about light blue and light purple. Maybe even pink. Are you alright with pink?”

“I don't know. Pink's more Rubi's color. Not really me.”

“Rubi?”

“My friend. He's been coming by the village to check on me.”

Tsuki jolted. “W-w-w-what?! An-another Heartstone's been-been stopping b-by the house?”

“No, he's been staying to the outskirts of town. I'll talk to him from the wall of the house.”

“You haven't been alone with him, have you?” Tsugaru asked.

“No. Again, he hasn't gotten close. He stays to the treeline and I stand on the wall.”

“When have you been talking to him?”

“At night, so no one can chase him off.”

Tsugaru's eyes narrowed. “Hachimen-san, you can't be unsupervised, especially around other Heartstone's. If Shiki-san finds out about this, the council will have reasonable doubt of Tsuki being the father to your child.”

“He was nearly ten feet away from me!” Roppi glared. “Not like he can sniper shot into my—”

“Do not be vulgar!” Tsugaru yelled.

Both Tsuki and Roppi looked at the older blond wide-eyed. Tsugaru was openly glaring at Roppi. Then he closed those blue eyes and inhaled deeply. He exhaled through his mouth before opening his eyes again.

“Just understand that you can't be doing reckless things like that.” Tsugaru said. “Else everything you and Tsuki are trying to achieve will be gone like smoke in the air.”

“...Look, I get that. But I had no choice in the matter. Rubi would have killed Tsuki the first chance he got if I didn't explain it to him.”

Tsuki jolted.

“He thought I was kidnapped, being held in a cage as a pet bird. He was ready to storm the house and kill everyone in it. I had to let him know that wasn't the case. You can't fault me for that.”

Tsugaru didn't respond.

“He's not happy with the turn of events but he's not going to question my decision. Although, Tsuki,” Roppi looked at the blond. “Don't go into the woods by yourself.”

“Eh? W-will he attack me?”

“Probably.”

“Bu-but if we-we're mated then—”

“It's because we're mated that he might try something.”

“Eh?”

Roppi glanced to the side. “Well, see...Rubi asked for my Minlir before.”

Tsuki's eyes widened.

“But I rejected him because...well, I have my reasons.”

“So, he might act rashly based on jealousy?” Tsugaru asked.

“Yeah. He's got a bit of a short fuse.”

“Why did-did you re-reject him?” Tsuki asked.

“This was years before you.” Roppi said. “So don't think it's your fault or anything. It's just...well, the main thing was, he made it sound like I'll never be able to get a mate unless it's him so I had no choice. I don't think he meant to make it sound like that, but that's how it come off as, which pissed me right the fuck off.”

“What do you mean, 'never be able to get a mate unless it's him'?” Tsugaru asked.

“Well, all the...parents, as you put it, knew I was a half-breed, so they didn't want me to breed with their children. They considered me bad genes. I was pretty isolated in my clan. Not many people talked to me. I got to know this one Coravak named Psyche, but poor thing was tricked by a human and got his minlir stolen, and worse off, the fuck human left him pregnant. So, he left the mountain range years ago. And then there was Rubi. He's been my friends since we were rookery-kin's. We've always been together.”

Roppi let out a sigh.

“But because of that, when he and I became Minkirin's, he tried to convince me to be his mate.”

“Di-did he confess to you,” Tsuki asked, “or-or did he just wa-want to be you-your mate?”

“You know, that's a good question. I'm not really sure.” Roppi glowered. “He literally just said, 'you and I would make a good pair. We already know each other so well and we'd make some lovely children—what with your black wings and my white wings. So let's pair.' I told him I wasn't sure about that. And his response was, 'Well, you're not going to get a better option. No one else wants to breed with you, so you might as well go for it.' Told him to fuck off and didn't talk to him for two weeks. He never apologized but he brought me a nínta to make up for it.”

“Ninta?”

“Four-legged animal with horns and skinny legs.”

“Oh, deer.”

“Sure.” Roppi groaned as another stab hit him. “We got off topic. Colors.”

He looked back at Erika.

“Right, so what colors are you thinking?” Erika asked. “You obviously have free range to choose from.”

Roppi nodded before looking at the color palette of fabrics. He looked up at the stack on the shelves. He grabbed the green stack and pulled them down. He sifted through the green and pulled out two dark green colors. He lied those on the rack and put the rest of the stack back on the shelf.

He then grabbed the orange stack. He grabbed six different shades of that and put them on the rack. He returned the rest to the shelf then grabbed the gray stack. He grabbed three light grays of silver and put them on the rack as well.

“That's should be good.” Roppi said. “I don't need to find anymore, right?”

He looked back at Erika. The woman shook her head. “No, I think that's enough. I can make a lot with these. Once I finish the designs, I'll bring them over and we'll discuss it more in detail.”

“Alright.” Tsugaru responded for Roppi and stood. “Then let us be on our way, Hachimen-san. We have some stomachache medicine at the home to help you indigestion.”

“Help my what?”

“It will help your food stop hurting your stomach.”

“...Okay.”

“Tsukishima, will you escort Hachimen-san back to the house? I shall remain here to assist Erika with the designs.”

Tsuki was skeptical about that. If anything, Tsugaru wanted to stay to make sure the design was not too provocative and apply proper censorship to the future outfits. However, Tsuki didn't mention it as he simply nodded and walked over to Roppi.

“Are-are you ready to g-go?” Tsuki asked.

Roppi shrugged. “Guess so.”

Tsuki nodded. The two walked towards the door, Tsuki's hand on Roppi's shoulder blades. The blond grabbed Roppi's cloak off the coat rack and put it on the raven for him. The black harpy glowered at that, but he didn't say anything, his cheeks flushing a bit. Seeing that made Tsuki smile. So far, one of his favorite things of his relationship with the Heartstone was spoiling him. It was only ever little things, but Roppi always made the cutest blushing glowers.

Roppi was the first out of the Karisawa establishment, stepping on to the dirt street. Tsuki closed the door softly behind him and the two were off towards the house.

Neither of them missed any of the stares that were casted their way. There was no tact behind the looks, no subtly at all as everyone on the street stopped to gaze upon them. Roppi hated that, but he knew better than to act on that rage. He just had to hold his head high and keep his mouth shut.

Tsuki didn't miss Roppi's glare. He looked down and gripped the Heartstone's hand. Roppi looked at him with a glower. But he didn't deny the blond as he intertwined their fingers.

Holding hands, the two began walking back to the house. They were across town from their home, but it would only take about ten minutes to walk there. They just had to deal with the stares while trying to ignore them.

“I'm mak-making dinner tonight.” Tsuki said. “Do-do you want korokke**?”

“Those are those mashed potatoes balls, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn't mind that. And that noodle dish too.”

“Which one?”

“The one in the big rounded black pot thingy with the wooden handle.”

“The wok?”

“Yeah, that thing.”

“So you want stirfry?”

“Yeah. With nánamok!”

Tsuki nodded. He knew that nánamok was salmon. “Would you like tuna or mackerel as well?”

“Which ones were those again?”

“The pink was tuna and the gray was mackerel.”

“Oh, okay! The gray one was really good. Why not all three?”

“Well, too much fish and it won't be stirfry anymore.”

Roppi glowered.

Then the raven groaned. His stomach twisted painfully, enough that he had to stop in his tracks. He grabbed Tsuki's arm, using him as support. Tsuki immediately looked at him with concern.

“Are you okay?” Tsuki asked.

Roppi didn't answer. He tilted his head down and rubbed his forehead against Tsuki's arm. The blond turned to him fully, gripping Roppi's bicep in case he lost his balance.

“Kíf, ev anak beror íko tou imin tou merinotov imi***.” Roppi growled.

Tsuki had no clue what he said. Roppi didn't care to translate it as he started panting heavily. His stomach was in agony. The pain didn't pass quickly. It gripped him tightly, far more prominent than before. Even worse, it spiked harshly. Roppi's knees weakened to the feel and he slumped.

“Roppi, what's wrong?” Tsuki asked, moving with him.

The two went on their knees in the middle of the street. Tsuki couldn't help noticing all the people looking at them now. They all gave them a wide girth, but the two had their undying attention.

_**'We can't stay here!'** _

“Roppi-san, you have to get up.” Tsuki said in a low voice, looking down. “We can't...”

Tsuki's words fell off as he noticed something terrible. Roppi-san was bleeding. A lot, from in between the thighs. Tsuki could see his black shorts were soaked with crimson and his creamy thighs were quickly being covered in red.

“Ro-Ro-Roppi-san, you're bleeding!” Tsuki couldn't keep the call from leaving his throat.

Roppi opened his eyes and looked down. Horror crossed the Heartstone's face before he reached between his legs. He grabbed the hem of his shorts, his hands getting coated in crimson immediately. Roppi's breathing came out quicker and Tsuki knew it was with growing fear.

“Wh-what is this?” Roppi voiced. “What the fuck is this?”

“I-I don't know!” Tsuki took off his coat and wrapped it around the raven. “Um, is it m-maybe the baby? Is it—”

“Why would the baby cause me to bleed like this?!” Roppi looked up at him in terror. “Am I going to die trying to bear your child?!”

“No, no, no, calm—we need to stay calm!”

“I'm bleeding from my Hanablav! How the hell should I stay calm?!”

“W-well, maybe it's just a period.”

“What's a period?!”

“A men-menstrual cycle.”

Roppi glowered at him. He obviously didn't know what that was.

“Um, um, l-look may-maybe—let's go see Toudai-san! He'll know what to do!”

“Your-your woman doctor?”

“Yeah.” Tsuki stood, holding Roppi's hands to try and pull him up.

The raven didn't move though. He looked frozen to the spot, too scared to move. Tsuki had no choice but to put his hands under Roppi's bleeding rump and lifted him up. Roppi wrapped his arms around Tsuki's neck, his giant wings covering the blondes body. Tsuki hugged him close and off he ran to the Kurashi house.

* * *

Toudaimoto sat at the dining room table, munching on a salad while he wrote down in a notebook. The russet-eyed raven had a very lackluster day. Many of his days were like that. After all, he lived in a small, rural town. There weren't that many medical problems or medical emergencies on a daily basis. The most he had to do was a weekly check-up with the elderly women. There weren't that many, only about fifteen a week and that was if they wanted to. A lot of the time, these tough older women didn't see the need to come for their check-ups. So, usually, Toudai could get the check-ups done in two days and be free for the rest of the week.

Of course, because he was so free, he never questioned when someone came in with an emergency.

So, when he heard a loud banging on his door, he was certainly surprised but wasted no time getting up from his chair. He wiped his mouth on a napkin then rushed out of the kitchen and went to his door. He opened it quickly.

Toudai's eyes widened to see Tsukishima, holding a bundle of black clothes and feathers in his arms. The doctor had heard of Tsuki's union with a Heartstone, his plan to end the towns tradition of normalized rape towards monsters, and the supposed pregnancy with another male. Toudai didn't know how true it all was. He hadn't gotten around to talking to Tsugaru, after all. His old friend had been increasing busy with their new housemate and dealing with other people who wanted to know about the Heartstone. Toudai figured Tsugaru would come to talk to him when he was ready.

But it seemed like he would learn the truth from the individual who started the rumors himself.

“T-T-Toudai-san, we-we need help!” Tsuki said.

The black-haired person nodded. Toudai could see Tsuki's hands were covered in blood, along with the Heartstone's posterior and thighs. “Come in!”

Toudai gestured for Tsuki to enter. The blond did without question. Toudai closed the door and quickly turned to his living room. The doctor led the way into the house and they went into the exam room. Toudai went to the closet and pulled out a roll of sanitary paper. He rolled it out over the exam table, flicked down the grippers at the end of the beds to hold the paper in place, then ripped the end off.

“Put him here.” Toudai ordered.

Tsuki obeyed, placing the Heartstone on the exam bed. While he did that, Toudai went to the sink and washed his hands fervently. The bird man wrapped his arms around his stomach and groaned, closing his eyes tight shut.

“Do you know what his injuries are?” Toudai asked, drying his hands off.

Tsuki shook his head. “Ro-Roppi-san said his stomach was hurting a lot and n-now he's bleeding from his...um, his...”

“Hanablav.” Roppi growled. “The entrance to the womb.”

 _ **'His vagina?'**_ Toudai wondered. _**'Does he even have a vagina?'**_

“Understood.” Toudai said, grabbed a pair of latex gloves. “If you could, take off your shorts. Tsukishima, why don't you wait outside an—”

“Hell no!” Roppi hissed. “Like hell I'm going to be left alone with you!”

“I will not hurt you. I am a doctor.”

“Is that supposed to mean anything to me? You're older than Tsuki, so you probably have a Minlir you stole from a Coravak!”

Toudai wasn't sure what any of that was.

“U-um, Roppi-san, Toudai-san ne-never did his Masculine-Cue. He does-doesn't have a brand.”

“Why?”

“W-well...”

“There are a few reasons why.” Toudai said. “But that is not important.”

The doctor then looked up at Tsuki.

“If you wish to stay, that is fine. But you should wash your hands.”

Tsuki looked down at his stained palms and nodded. The blond rushed over to the sink and turned it on with his elbow.

“Roppi-kun, can you take off your shorts, please?”

Roppi openly glared at him. But it was a wavering gaze since he looked quite scared. Toudai wasn't sure if it was fear of exposing himself or fear of what was happening to his body. He then looked down at his shorts. He hesitated before putting his taloned fingers to the button of his jeans. He undid them and stripped them off. Blood smeared down his inner thighs onto his podotheca.

The Heartstone's erogenous zone was coated in blood. Toudai went about lifting the stirrups up, latching them so they wouldn't fall back down.

“Put your feet up here.” Toudai gestured.

Roppi shook his head.

“It's okay.” Toudai said in a soothing voice. “It's just so you don't have to hold your legs back yourself. But I need to be able to see your entrance to the womb if that is what is bleeding.”

Roppi clenched his teeth. He did not look convinced at all.

“It-it's okay, Roppi-san.” Tsuki said. “It'll be okay. Just listen to him for now.”

The Heartstone looked at Tsuki with that gaze of worry and uncertainty.

“It's okay.” Tsuki dried off his hands. They were still slightly red, but that was a stain that he couldn't get out now. The blond walked over and grabbed Roppi's wrist, rubbing it with his thumb soothingly. “I'm here. It's alright.”

Roppi still looked conflicted. He then looked at Toudai. The raven clenched his teeth before closing his eyes tight shut. He lifted one clawed foot. Toudai could see his cheeks turn red. This was certainly embarrassing, the doctor knew that. Since his eyes were closed, Roppi couldn't see where his feet were going, so Toudai gently guided it to the stirrup. He then guided the other and soon enough, Toudai had a full view to Roppi's entrance.

The Heartstone folded his feathered arm over his face, his wing hiding his entire torso. Tsuki rubbed his shoulder in comfort. Toudai pulled his rolly chair over and grabbed his rolly tray. He had a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a container of alcohol wipes.

“I need to clean the area.” Toudai said. “This will be cold.”

Toudai pulled out a wipe and touched Roppi's perineum. The raven jolted and called out in surprise. But he didn't move his wing. Toudai was able to clean the area without incident.

Roppi groaned in pain, his talons curling. With his wave of pain came another helping of blood. Toudai glowered at the sight.

“Do Heartstone's have menstrual cycles?” Toudai asked.

“...Not a Heartstone...” Roppi growled.

“Does your species have menstrual cycles?”

“I don't know what that is!”

“Once a month, you'll bleed from your entrance to the womb. It's your womb removing the unused eggs from its system to make room for new ones.”

Roppi clenched his teeth. “Human's lay eggs?”

“No, that's—okay, all creatures have eggs. Animals, humans, monsters alike have eggs. The difference is whether those eggs...well, 'hatch' for lack of a better word, in the body or outside of the body. Humans have eggs inside the body and they have the 'hatching' inside the body, so that they can have live births. This way, the child is fully developed once it leaves the body. Birds and reptiles obviously have eggs outside of the body. Instead of using your body as an eggshell for the child, you lay an egg, so it doesn't impede mobility. After all, a bird would be hard press to fly if their center of gravity shifted so drastically.”

Roppi brought his arm down, resting it on his chest to look down at Toudai. “O-okay, I get it. But why the menstrual cycle thing?”

“Well, again, when a female mammal doesn't get impregnated, their body needs to remove the unused eggs. Basically, the internal lining of the womb will shed and be released from the body. This takes the form of blood, that will leak from the womb uncontrollably. This process takes a week or so to finish and happens once a month, every month.”

“...W-well, the fact that I had no clue what you're talking about means we obviously don't have that. We just lay infertile eggs every three days.”

Toudai nodded. He looked at the entrance again. He pulled out another wipe and cleared the blood away.

“Is it at all possible that maybe an egg shattered within your cloaca and that is why you are bleeding?”

“I don't think so.” Roppi clenched his teeth and groaned. More blood came forth. “There's usually no blood when that happens. Everyone I know who's had one just couldn't lay an egg and it got really bad for them. But they didn't bleed until it was removed.”

“Is it possible you removed it unknowingly?”

“No, if I had tatolaník****, it would have killed me by now. I haven't laid an egg in a month. Not since Tsuki and I...”

Toudai nodded. He cleaned the blood again. “I'll need to take x-rays then.”

“What are—kngh!” Roppi's eyes stretched wide as he hugged his stomach.

Toudai and Tsuki jolted.

“Wh-what's wrong now?” Tsuki asked.

Roppi curled his knees in and tilted his head back. “KÍF! HÉNAIK!”

“R-Roppi-san?!”

The Heartstone tilted his head down and clenched his teeth hard. He groaned in pain. Another wave of blood came out, followed by something. Toudai was shocked to see what looked like an egg come from his body. It certainly had the shape of an egg, being about the size of Toudai's fists put together. However, it was covered in some kind of fleshy film, almost as if it wasn't fully developed.

Roppi pushed out the egg. But that wasn't the end of it. That fleshy filming formed a kind of umbilical cord, in which Roppi let out another groan and another egg—attached by that umbilical cord—came out.

Toudai was certainly confused by this. He didn't want his mind to go in the gutter, but it looked like some grotesque form of anal beads. Certainly not something he had seen any bird release before. One after another after another, Roppi pushed out this string of eggs. Toudai quickly grabbed a bedpan and put it under the strange thing to catch it. There were seven in total until all of them finally left his body. They fell to the bedpan in a wet heap, following with a wave of blood and mucus membrane.

Roppi fell limp against the bed, panting heavily. His brow was covered in sweat and his red eyes blurry with pain. Toudai didn't fully know what to do. He grabbed a bedpan and put the cluster of connected eggs in. Tsuki stared at it in horror.

“What's...happening?” Roppi groaned. “I've never...seen a Coravak...have this...happen...”

Toudai went about cleaning the area again.

“We'll definitely need to do x-rays. And an ultrasound.” Toudai looked up at the two. “Allow me to clean him up and I will administer an IV drip.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Régan kúrosh—dear Sister  
> **Korokke—breaded patties filled with mashed potatoes, veggies, or seafood; deep fried and dunk in tonkatsu sauce (Japanese BBQ sauce)  
> ***Kíf, anak beror íko tou imin tou merinotov imi—Fuck, the stomach that is mine is killing me.  
> **** Tatolaník—Egg-binding


	3. Chapter 2

Roppi and Tsuki were both asleep now. Roppi had fallen asleep due to exhaustion, but Tsuki probably didn't mean to sleep. He ended up resting his head on the edge of the bed and fell unconscious, it would seem. Roppi was laying on the hospital bed with an IV in his arm. It wasn't easy for Toudai to find the veins under the black-and-red feathers, but find it he did. Through the IV, the doctor had administered painkillers and hydration formula. The blond then stayed with Roppi, having sat in the chair next to him and holding his hand, and ended up resting his head on the bed. Toudai had left them alone for a bit and after checking on them, it seemed they both fell asleep.

Toudai checked Roppi's vitals, then lifted the blanket to check his 'injury'. There was no more blood. He put the blanket back down and left the room, going into the adjacent one to his computer. It was an interesting device and only used to make the x-ray and ultrasound machines functions better. These machine were very new to the medical industry so they were very limited in what they could do. With this computer, he was able to download the images instead of wait for the machine to print them on a special piece of plastic parchment that was very hard to come by in this rural town.

Toudai went to his computer and checked on the download. The images were done. He looked at the x-ray first. Roppi truly did have a womb. He could see his stomach, his intestinal tract, and underneath them—right where the womb would be on a woman—was the reproductive system of a female. It was a bit different, looking more like a straight line rather than a ram like a humans.

The doctor stood and grabbed a book off the shelf. He opened it, shifted through the pages, and stopped on the page of a female birds reproductive system. He went back to his chair and sat down. He looked from the computer screen to the book to do a comparison. The image on the screen definitely looked more that of the bird reproductive system diagram in the book.

Toudai could see the ovaries at the top, the infundibulum, magnum, isthmus, and uterus which was also known as the shell gland. There were certainly differences between the book and Roppi's. He could see the vaginal canal, which was Roppi's anal cavity. But instead of the intestine connecting to the vagina like in birds, the intestine attached to the bladder.

He flipped through the book again until he found the owls digestive system. Tsuki had told him the Heartstone's puked up pellets, thus why their anus was supposedly their entrance to the womb. It would do Toudai good to do proper comparisons between the digestive system and this Heartstone's. As it turns out, owls didn't have bladders. A quick flip through showed all birds lacked bladders, except for an exotic bird known as an ostrich. That made sense, after all, since they release that white bird poop instead of urine. He didn't know that the birds cloaca played as their anus, urethra, and vagina but then again, he never questioned bird anatomy until now.

He looked at Roppi's x-rays again.

_**'Guess it's not too weird that his organ anatomy would be a mixture of both bird and human.'** _

He flipped through the images.

_**'It doesn't look like he has two stomachs like owls do... That must be the first stomach, the proventriculus, there. So maybe what I've been thinking is the stomach is actually his gizzard. Then maybe that organ to the side is his liver. That's definitely his pancreas its connecting to, so that must be it. Wow, this is really fascinating. Dad would have loved to see this.'** _

Such a thing hurt a little to acknowledge. Even though it had been over four years since Diamond passed away, the wound still felt so fresh to the twenty-three-year-old. His brows furrowed. He clenched his teeth hard before inhaling deeply. He then exhaled, forcing himself to keep composed. He cleared his throat and let out a sigh.

He looked back at the x-ray.

_**'There doesn't seem to be any anomaly on or in his uterus. It doesn't look like there's any broken eggs in his vaginal canal. Even if there was, it would have caused a blockage, so he wouldn't have been able to get those cluster of eggs out.'** _

He flipped through the images again until he got to the ultrasound.

_**'Well, there is definitely something in his womb. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's a fetus.'** _

Toudai stared at a little black mass within the womb. At four weeks, the doctor knew that mass was a baby. If Roppi was human and female, he'd be certain that was what it was.

_**'But the problem with this is the fact that he lays eggs. A mammal obviously can't impregnate an oviparous animal. Unless...maybe...they're like a platypus? No, maybe not. Platypus's are mammals that can lay eggs, not birds that can get impregnated by mammals. It's not the same. Hm...'** _

Toudai leaned back in his chair, staring at the screen.

_**'I just don't know how their bodies works. If they can truly get impregnated by humans even though they lay eggs...'** _

“How am I supposed to help him when I don't have a clue how his body works?”

There was a knock on the front door. Toudai looked before standing and leaving the room. He walked through the living room, rubbing his hand against his neck.

Opening the door, he saw it was three people. The two blonds that Toudai knew very well, Tsugaru and Delic, and the mayor of the town, Shiki.

“Hello.” Toudai looked at Tsugaru and Delic. “They are in the exam room. Please come in.”

“Excuse our intrusion.” Tsugaru said.

The three walked in. Toudai closed the door behind him. The two brothers didn't hesitate to go into the exam room. Shiki stayed back, looking at Toudai.

“Good afternoon, Shiki-san.” Toudai said.

“Good afternoon. Do you know what happened to the Heartstone?” Shiki asked.

“Not a clue.” Toudai said. “He forced out a strange cluster of eggs and was bleeding profusely. But it doesn't seem like it was internal bleeding. I've been checking his vitals regularly. But as far as I can tell, his life isn't in danger.”

“So, what? Is it possible he had a period?”

Toudai shrugged. “He said Heartstone's don't have periods. They lay eggs, after all.”

Shiki glowered. “And he said it was possible for humans to breed them.”

“Well, I think he wasn't lying. Come look.”

Toudai waved for him to come and follow. Shiki glowered but did so. Toudai led the way into his side room and sat down at his computer.

“So, these are his ultrasounds.” Toudai lifted a pen and pointed to the image. “This here is definitely his reproductive system. See here, is his ovaries and womb. And you see this little black spot here?”

Shiki glowered.

“From my experience, this is what a four week old fetus looks like on the ultrasound.” Toudai turned and looked at him. “I'm certain this Heartstone has a womb, despite being male.”

“But you said he laid eggs.”

“Yes, he did. I don't know what is happening to him. He definitely laid some eggs today, but there was something wrong with them.”

“Let me see them.”

Toudai nodded and stood. The two went to the exam room. Tsugaru and Delic had woken Tsuki up and were talking to him. They stopped their conversation once Shiki and Toudai entered the room. Toudai went over to a small fridge he kept in that room to keep blood bags and other essential fluids cold. He pulled out the bedpan, which he had stuffed in a ziplock bag, and showed it to Shiki.

Toudai held the bedpan for him. Shiki looked at it and immediately, his eyes narrowed.

“What's this fleshy film over it?” Shiki asked.

“I don't know.” Toudai said. “I've never seen a bird have eggs like this.”

Tsugaru walked over. “He forced those out?”

“That's right.” Toudai said. “They are certainly eggs, but I'm not sure what this fleshy umbilical cord is.”

“Shouldn't we ask him?” Delic voiced, pointing to the sleeping Heartstone.

“He's got quite a bit of sleeping narcotics in his system, so you'll be hard press to wake him. But I did ask him. He has no clue.”

Delic glowered.

“If only we had another Heartstone.” Tsugaru said, tucking his arms into the sleeves. “Mayhaps their doctor would know more on this subject.”

“W-well, maybe we could talk to Ru-Rubi-kun?!” Tsuki said. “If-if we can find him, maybe...”

“Rubi?” Toudai voiced.

“A friend of Hachimen-san's.” Tsugaru said. “He has been stalking the outskirts of the town, trying to keep an eye on Hachimen-san. He assumed Hachimen-san had been kidnapped, but he put that to rest soon enough.”

“Was he alone with this Heartstone?”

“No.” Delic said. “We were with him when he talked to Rubi.”

Toudai looked at Tsugaru. The blue blond made eye contact with her, before closing his eyes and tilting his head.

_**'Ah, so they lied.'** _

Toudai had known Tsugaru for a very long time, after all. He knew Tsugaru's body language and little gestures quite well.

_**'But Shiki-san didn't need to know that. Everything would go up in smoke if this Heartstone was found alone with another Heartstone.'** _

Toudai looked back at Shiki. “If there is another Heartstone who can aide Roppi-kun, it would be for the best. I cannot help him without prior knowledge to his anatomy.”

“It will be hard press for you to do so.” Shiki said. “I don't think any Heartstone would willingly come to the town. It's too dangerous for them, especially if it still has a Brand.”

“However, if he loses his Brand to someone who hasn't started his Masculine-Cue, that individual will not be considered a man.” Toudai pointed out.

“That does not mean someone won't try.”

No one answered.

“Unfortunately, I do not think we have a choice.” Tsugaru said.

“...I have to agree.” Toudai stated and stood.

Shiki was quiet for a moment. “I will not stop you from getting aide from the Heartstone's, so long as you don't leave them alone with him.”

Shiki gestured with his head to the sleeping Heartstone.

“If you can convince one to come, then I will set the Watchers to protect the household.”

“Thank you, Shiki-san.” Toudai smiled softly.

The mayor nodded. He then looked at Roppi. He stared for a moment, then went to the door.

“If his condition worsens, notify me immediately.” Shiki said.

“We will.” Toudai stated.

With that, Shiki left.

The three blonds let out a breath of relief as soon as they heard the front door close.

“So, who's gonna go find this Rubi guy?” Delic asked.

“I-I'll go.” Tsuki said.

“Absolutely not.” Tsugaru stated. “Hachimen-san said Rubi may attack you out of jealousy.”

“If that is the case, then I will go.” Toudai stated. “This Rubi may not know which one of you is Tsukishima. After all, you all look similar to someone who doesn't know you. With that in mind, it is best none of you blondes go.”

“Probably for the best, yeah.” Delic said.

“No, that is not good either.” Tsugaru said. “You could get hurt.”

“I'll be fine.”

“But you're not...” Tsugaru stopped himself.

However, Toudai knew what he was going to say. The raven glowered at him. “I may _not be_ , but that doesn't mean I can't protect myself properly.”

Tsugaru looked ashamed as he glanced to the side.

“I shall be fine, rest assured.”

* * *

Toudai panted heavily as he walked up the mountain. As a prominent shut in, he was not use to this rigorous exercise. He's had to take many, many breaks and had already finished one of his canteen—he packed two just in case.

The doctor looked down at his map.

_**'I'm not that far from Heartstone Peak. Just a little bit more.'** _

Within five minutes, he found the clearing with a pond in it. Delic said to find that and follow the stream up the mountain. It would lead him to Heartstone Peak within ten minutes.

“Pwah, five minute break.” Toudai voiced.

The raven walked out into the clearing and up to the water. Luckily, the pond water was clear, not a speck of green in sight. He knelt down to the edge of the pond and put his hands in the water. He brought a handful of water to his face. He wasn't going to drink it, just needed to cool his forehead. He then brought some to the back of his neck to help cool that as well. The bandages over his throat soaked up the liquids.

Toudai sat back, grabbing the chest of his shirt and wafting it, trying to air out his chest. Sweat had accumulated under the lumps of flesh on his wrapped chest and it had gotten quite uncomfortable. He was half-tempted to strip and jump in the water real quick. However, he didn't bring a towel, so his pants might chafe.

But then again, his pants were quite baggy. The chances of them chafing were very, very slim.

“...No, I'm here for a reason.” Toudai decided.

He let out a sigh and stood.

“I hope this Rubi is easy to find.”

With that said, he turned and went up the creek.

_**'God, my feet are so hot. These boots are heavy.'** _

Toudai looked at the creek.

_**'It looks clear. I could probably walk in the water...'** _

He contemplated the idea.

_**'Fuck it, let's do it.'** _

Toudai stopped in his tracks and spent time taking off his shoes. He untied them, then stripped off his socks and stuffed them into the boots. He tied the laces together and wrapped it around his wrist, so he didn't have to hold them. He then rolled up his pants until they were to his knees.

With his feet finally free, he stepped into the creek.

“Oh, that's heavenly!”

The cold water was so nice on his feet. It helped cool the rest of his body without question. He exhaled in relief.

The raven continued on his way, stepping into the soft clay of the creek bed. He couldn't feel a single rock, which was so nice.

He heard a rustling in the trees, which made Toudai jolt. He stopped moving to look up in the direction of the noise. He had been hearing little noises all through the forest. Mostly squirrels, sometimes deer. He knew there weren't bears on the mountain range—typically. But still, he was in the woods and so natural paranoia tingled up his body. If he came across a bear, he wasn't really sure what he would be able to do.

Toudai waited, then continued walking. He heard the leaves rustle again. Toudai glowered at he looked up again.

“...Is anyone there?”

There was no response.

“...Well, if there is, I mean no harm. I'm simply looking for a Heartstone—er, Coravak, named Rubi. He is friends with Hachimenroppi, if I am not mistaken.”

There was still no response.

_**'...Maybe it was just a squirrel...'** _

Toudai turned and continued on his way. He heard the rustling again, but decided not to stop.

“Roppi-kun needs aide that I cannot offer.” Toudai said. “Something happened to him that I cannot explain. I am a doctor, a healer, so regardless if he's a Heartstone or not, I want to help him. However, I don't know how. Not with the ailment that befell him. Roppi-kun told me he had a friend named Rubi. We are hoping this Rubi can help him.”

There was only silence.

Then a gust of wind hit Toudai in the face. The raven lifted his arm to keep dirt from getting in his face. In the next moment, something latched around his biceps. He felt two long, hooked three-toed talon feet wrap around him, two talons at the front and one at the back. He gasped as he was lifted out of the creek.

“AH! Hey, wait!” Toudai yelled.

He reached out and grabbed the legs of the bird man that was carrying him away. The ground was coming farther and farther from him. Fear welded in Toudai's chest.

“Oi, listen, I'm not a threat!” Toudai yelled, tilting his head back. “I need help for Roppi-kun! Hachimenroppi! He's sick and I can't heal him!”

The Heartstone didn't respond. Toudai looked up at a pale man who's feathers were white with florescent pink tips. His downy feathers and contour feathers were different, however, as they were a pale yellow. Toudai couldn't see what he was wearing very well, but he could definitely see that this man was wearing a pink tunic around his waist—and nothing underneath, so Toudai had a perfect view of his nether carriage.

“I need your help! I swear, I'm not here to hurt anyone! I need to help Roppi-kun, but I can't do that without the guidance of another Heartstone!”

The man still didn't reply.

_**'Please don't drop me. Please don't drop me!'** _

The Heartstone came to a stop, flapping his wings furiously to keep them both from plummeting out of the air. Toudai's grip on his legs were even tighter now. However, he didn't need to as he looked down and saw he wasn't that far from the ground now. The bird man had swooped lower.

The Heartstone let Toudai go. The doctor gasped as the birdman's legs slipped right out of his hands. He did not have a graceful landing as he flailed until he slammed into the ground, landing on his side. He coughed harshly, the wind not quite being knocked out of him but certainly hurting his ribs. He then groaned.

“Ow...” Toudai muttered.

He heard the harpy land, his wings rustling. Toudai looked up. White podotheca's, white wings with pink tips and yellow downy feathers. Now that he was looking at him head on, he could see those blond feathers were on the top of his head, making it look like his roots were blond even though he didn't have roots. He also had a pink plume feather coming from his 'hairline'. The man wore a white croptop, in which Toudai could see the back was laced to provide more movement for the feathers on his back. There was a bright pink tie around his neck, Toudai didn't know why since it was certainly not a dress shirt made into a croptop, but he didn't question it. As Toudai already knew, this man was wearing a tunic, however it looked like the outer layer was white and the interior was pink.

Anatomically, this Heartstone looked a bit different from Roppi. Roppi's talons had three toes in the front and one in the back, while this white birdman had two in the front and one in the back. He also didn't have a bellybutton, which truly shocked Toudai. To see a humanoid without a bellybutton, even though Roppi had one, was such a strange sight.

Toudai pushed himself up on his arm, rubbing his side.

“What's wrong with Roppi?” The harpy asked.

“It's a private matter.” Toudai said, sitting on his rump. “I need to speak to Ru—”

“I'm Rubi, so what happened to Roppi?! Was it that bastard human?!”

Toudai glowered. “Please, refrain from speaking so harshly. Tsuki has treated Roppi-kun with nothing but love and adoration. He would not hurt Roppi-kun.”

Rubi scoffed. “He's a human. 'Love and adoration' aren't within their system.”

“Oh, then I have simply come up here for shits and giggles? That I don't actually care for Roppi-kun's well-being and I'm here for no real reason?”

The Heartstone glowered at him with beautiful pink eyes.

“Tsuki has done nothing. If anything, Roppi-kun's pregnancy is the cause of this.”

Rubi's eyes widened. “Roppi's pregnant?”

Toudai cocked a brow. “He did not tell you? I assumed he explained the situation to you.”

“...He told me he was staying in the human settlement to try and end this bullshit you humans do of raping us to steal our Minlir's! He said he took on a human lifemate to end this shit you guys pull!”

“...Well...yes, that is part of it. But the way he would end this is by proving that you Heartstone's can be impregnated by man, that if the men of our village continue this tradition, they may be practicing incest and creating half-breeds of man and monster.”

Rubi's expression lit with rage. “So he got impregnated by a piece of shit human to prove our species can breed?! Almost all species of monsters can breed with humans!”

“I am well aware.” Toudai said, his hand drifting to the bandages over his throat. “However, not many are.”

“Then teach them!”

“Without proof, words are meaningless.”

Rubi clenched his teeth.

Toudai let out a heavy sigh as he stood. His wet feet were now covered in dirt, which felt very uncomfortable. But he ignored it as he instead brushed the dirt off his side and rump.

“What Roppi-kun is doing is the best way to show our village the truth. To show that our tradition is very wrong and needs to be stopped. Roppi-kun and Tsuki are doing their part to prove that, and I wish to do mine. However, I don't know how I can help Roppi-kun with his current ailment. Thus, why I came here. He said his friend Rubi would be able to help us.”

“...What's wrong with him?” Rubi glanced to the side with a glower.

_**'He is certainly not happy with this.'** _

“He was bleeding profusely from his 'Hanablav'. What's more, he pushed out a cluster of eggs that were attached by a string of flesh. The bleeding has stopped and he is currently resting, but I worry if he bleeds that much again if his life will be in danger.”

Rubi clenched his teeth hard as well as his fists. He glared at the ground with hatred. “That son of a bitch. That...!”

“What?” Toudai's eyes widened. “What is wrong?”

“Well, Roppi's pregnant alright.”

“What do you—”

“His body had to purge out the eggs to make room for a live birth. It's the only way you can tell a half-breed from a purebred Coravak.” Rubi crossed his arms. “All that blood and the strange eggs is proof that a human child is in his womb. It's basically forcing Roppi's body to change, temporarily, so that it's more like a humans.”

“How could a human child possibly do that?”

“It's just a natural development most monster bodies will do. Human bodies will reject a fetus, even of their own kind, since their bodies view it as an infection, but monster bodies aren't like that. They will change to try and accept the child, since new blood will only make the species stronger. Its just a normal bodily function of most monsters. Because unlike humans, half-breeds aren't usually a bad thing.”

“Oh,..That is good then.” Toudai said with a proper smile. “Roppi will be able to return with his child then. I'm sure Roppi's parents would like to meet their grandchild.”

Rubi fell quiet for a moment. “...Well...I said usually...Coravaks aren't really okay with half-breeds.”

Toudai drooped to that. “Oh, well, I'm sure that is something to discuss later. Anyhow, will Roppi-kun be alright then? If this purge is considered natural, then it shouldn't threaten his life.”

“As far as I know, he should be fine.”

Toudai let out a breath of relief. “That is great news to hear. Thank you very much!”

Toudai bowed to the Heartstone. The raven stood upright and was quite surprised to see Rubi staring at him wide-eyed. However, Toudai didn't question it.

“I shall take my leave now.” Toudai bowed again. “I truly appreciate your help.”

With that said, Toudai looked around. They were back in the clearing with the pond. The doctor turned to the water and dipped his feet in to clean the dirt off.

“Hey, wait,” Rubi said.

“Worry not, I'm not going to swim in your water.” Toudai stated. “I'm simply getting the dirt off my—”

“No, I don't care about that.” Rubi's voice was closer now.

Toudai looked over his shoulder at him.

“If...Is it okay if I see Roppi?”

Toudai's eyes widened. “He is in the middle of town.”

“I'm aware of that! But I...I'm really worried about him! I can't just—I'm tired of just sticking to the sidelines and talking to him at night! I want to make sure he's alright! I want to make sure those bastards aren't hurting him!”

“I can assure you, he is within good hands.”

“And why should I believe you?!”

“If you wish to think that, then why would you believe anything I've said so far?”

The man clenched his teeth.

Toudai kicked the water off his feet the best he could, rubbing it against the back of his legs to held dry it off. He didn't get it completely dry, but it was good enough. He pulled on his sock and shoe, then did the same thing with his other foot.

“Personally, I do not think it is a good idea for you to come.” Toudai said as he tied his laces. “I know not if you have a Brand, but if you do, then you might be targeted by some overzealous boy who thinks he can finish his Masculine-Cue easily.”

“I'll kill him before he even gets close.”

“That'll cause more problems for Roppi-kun than you.”

The Heartstone grumbled.

He finished with his boots and unraveled his pants. “If that is what you wish, I will not stop you.”

Toudai turned to him to give his undivided attention.

“However, I cannot guarantee your safety.” The doctor stated.

“I can protect myself just fine. I'm a xalaj, after all.”

Toudai didn't know what that was. But he couldn't deny this man was quite muscular, at least the human parts of him. He couldn't tell under the podotheca's and feathers.

Toudai nodded. “If that is what you wish.”

The raven then walked past him.

“Where are you going?” Rubi growled.

“Back to the town. I think it is best for you to accompany me, as I'll be able to vouch for you. But if you wish to go on ahead, you may.”

“Wait, you want me to walk down the mountain?”

Toudai stopped in his track and looked at him. “Again, you may fly down if you wish, but I would suggest you wait for me to accompany you so I may vouch for you.”

He scoffed in annoyance. “If I have to wait, it's the same waste of time.”

“Then let us go.”

“Let's just fly!”

“...Do you plan to carry me down the mountain?”

“Duh.”

Toudai glowered. “And how do I know you won't drop me?”

“Like you said, I need you to vouch for me or I won't be able to get in safely. So, I can't drop you even if I want to.”

“How comforting.”

The two glared at each other, holding eye contact in silence. They sat like that for a few seconds before Rubi glanced away.

“Are we going or what?”

Toudai smiled to himself. Winning the glaring contest was a small victory, but it made Toudai feel accomplished.

“Alright, let us go your way.” Toudai said. “However, I have a request.”

Rubi looked at him.

“When we make it down the mountain, do not drop me like you did before. I landed on my ribs and that was quite painful.”


	4. Chapter 3

Toudai was dropped into the dirt. He landed on his feet, but stumbled and fell to his hands and knees. Everyone on the main street looked at him wide-eyed.

“I told you _not_ to drop me!” Toudai yelled.

“Well, what am I supposed to do?!” Rubi yelled back. “Land with you in my talons so I can fall on my face?!”

The white Heartstone landed next to Toudai. The two shared a glower.

“So, where's Roppi at?”

Toudai fully glared at him. Rubi stared at him for a moment before offering a hand out to him. The doctor allotted not to take it and pushed himself to his feet. The raven brushed the dirt off his hands and knees.

“He is in my house.” Toudai said. “Follow me.”

Toudai walked past him. The white bird man fell in behind the doctor. Many of eyes were trained on Rubi, staring at him wide-eyed. Toudai tried his best to ignore them.

_**'Now I know how Roppi and Tsuki feel.'** _

Luckily, their journey wouldn't be for long. Toudai's house was only a few minutes away. Soon enough, they arrived. Toudai opened the door and held the door for Rubi, gesturing for him to go inside. The white harpy hesitated, a look of obvious suspicion in his eyes. But he stepped forward nonetheless. Toudai stepped in behind him and closed the door.

The doctor could hear voices coming from the exam room. Quite a few voices, actually. Definitely more than Tsuki and Roppi. He quickened his pace a bit, although nothing to alarm Rubi who followed him, and opened the door.

There was a man standing in the room. A man with dark brown hair, holding a clipboard in his hands. He was scrawling on the paper on said clipboard. Roppi was awake and glowering at the man. Upon the arrival of Toudai and Rubi, they all looked over at them.

Roppi's eyes stretched wide. “Rubi...? Shalar mey ín kanator rashil*?”

Rubi glowered. “Shalar kana ín lána 'shalar mál im kanator rashil'? Im bajo uo yawiq een!”

No one had any idea what either said. The monsters didn't seem to care though as they continued talking in their strange language. Toudai decided not to focus on them and instead turned his attention to the other brunette in the room.

“Shinra-kun,” Toudai said, “I thought I told you to stop coming to my house uninvited.”

“But I was invited.” The man said, smiling cheekily. “Shiki-san told me to watch over the Heartstone while you were gone. In case his health deteriorated.”

Toudai glowered.

“Besides, I think I'm better suited to looking after monsters, wouldn't you agree?”

Toudai's eyes narrowed even more. He truly did not like this man, nor his background. From what he knew, this man and his father, Shingen, had come across many monsters and done terrible things to them. Supposedly, the only reason they even came to this town was in hopes to come across a Heartstone to dissect. At least, that was Shingen's reasoning, but like father like son, so Toudai wouldn't put it past Shinra having that twisted fantasy as well.

Toudai let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “All things considering, I think it is best if you and Shingen-san stay away from Roppi. Which is the full reason why they came to me instead of you.”

“No, they came to you because you're a childhood friend to the Kaikyo's and they always run to you. They love you, after all.”

Toudai glowered. Such words stung.

“It's alright.” Shinra smiled. “Despite what my dad wants, I don't really want to hurt the Heartstone's. It'd be far more interesting to study them, to monitor their behavior patterns and body language. And I mean, those x-rays you took are truly fascinating. I'd love to look at them in length. Would you mind printing them out for me?”

“You know that is difficult for me. I don't have the means to print here.”

“Oh, right.” Shinra deflated a bit. Then he perked back up. “Then is it alright if I stick around and look at those x-rays again?”

Toudai glowered. This man truly lacked tact at the best of times. But he wouldn't question him. He was far more comfortable having Shinra out of the room, and this was the best way to do so.

“Do as you will.” Toudai tilted his head to the door.

“Great! Thanks!”

Without another word, Shinra turned to the door and left. Toudai watched him go, then let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes as he rubbed his temple. That man always made him so unease. He knew why, but it wasn't a viable reason so he couldn't share his discomfort with others.

“Welcome back, Toudai-kun.”

Tsugaru's voice made Toudai open his eyes. He looked up at the blue-eyed blond, who walked into the room.

“Oh, I thought you left.” Toudai smiled at him.

“No. I was simply making tea in the kitchen. Delic left, however.”

Tsugaru was certainly holding a tea tray. He walked over to Toudai's desk and placed it. He then grabbed a cup, flipped it over, and began pouring the warm brew.

“Would you like some, Toudai-kun? You had a long trek today.”

Toudai smiled warmly. “I would love some.”

Tsugaru smiled back as the doctor walked over. Toudai sat down in his chair while Tsugaru held the tea cup out to him. Toudai couldn't help the smile that came over his face. He couldn't make it go away either as he took the offering.

“Thank you.” Toudai said.

“Of course.”

Tsugaru turned his attention back to the tea cups. Toudai watched him do so before glancing over at the Heartstone's. His smile immediately vanished when he noticed Rubi was staring at him. Toudai glowered back, in which the white harpy looked back at Roppi. Roppi spared Toudai a quick glance, then looked back at his friend. Tsuki sat awkwardly in the chair next to the exam bed.

“Roppi-kun.” Toudai said to draw their attention. “I mean not to interrupt, but how are you feeling?”

“...Slowish, er, the word for lazy but not because you don't want to move.”

“Sluggish?”

“Yes, that. I feel really drained.”

Toudai nodded. “Has there been anymore discomfort?”

“Not really. Down there is a bit..sensitive. But my stomach feels fine.”

“That is good. So, it seems as if what happened was a natural process.”

Roppi cocked a brow. “Natural? What is natural about that?”

“Íko tou daranort uo pápánet.” Rubi said. “Teu—”

“Speak in the language that they can understand.” Roppi interrupted him. “I don't want to translate for you.”

Rubi openly glowered. He then scoffed and rolled his eyes. “That is supposed to happen. It is natural. Your womb had to purge all the eggs in order to make room for the live birth.”

Roppi jolted. “Live birth?”

“Yup. You're not going to lay an egg. You're going to have a live birth like a human.”

“...That uh...I didn't know that...”

“Yeah, it's going to hurt too. When Psyche went into labor, he spent the whole day screaming and trying to push the baby out.”

Tsugaru looked at him.

Roppi's eyes widened. “W-wait, what?”

“Yup.”

“...I don't remember that.”

“Well, you weren't there. Akabayashi didn't want to scare the rest of the clan so we xalaj took Psyche further up the mountain into the Sacred Cave so he could birth.”

“...Oh...”

“Don't worry.” Toudai said. “We will be able to provide a very strong painkiller, so that you can birth without pain.”

“...Well, good thing I'll be birthing here.”

“No, you won't.” Rubi growled. “You need to come home.”

“That's not happening.”

“You can't seriously want to birth in this human-infested town!”

“Of course I am!” Roppi sat up right. “That's the whole point of my union with Tsuki!”

“I don't care! You don't belong here! You're going to get yourself killed, along with this abomination you're—”

Roppi let out a mighty screech, which was loud and piercing. Everyone covered their ears, including Rubi. As soon as it sounded, Roppi fell quiet.

“Go home, Rubi.” Roppi growled. “I'm not going to listen to your bullshit.”

Rubi moved his hands, glaring at the black harpy. “No way. I'm not leaving you here.”

“And I'm not listening to your bullshit!” Roppi flicked the blankets off to stand. Toudai immediately jolted, assuming Roppi forgot he had hand no pants on. But it seemed ill-put as he was wearing a pair of sweatpants over his black podotheca. They weren't Toudai's, so he could only assume one of the blonds brought a pair for him from their place. “You do not get to sit here and call my future child an abomination! Whether you like it or not, I chose Tsuki as my lifemate because I knew Tsuki and I would make a beautiful child!”

“It'll be 3/4th's human! We don't even know what it'll be!”

“I don't care! It's my child and I want to have it! You don't get to sit here and question my choices!”

“Why shouldn't I?! You chose a human as a mate instead of a Coravak! After you went your whole life saying you hate humans—”

“Tsuki is an exception!”

“Why?! What the fuck did he have that I didn't?!”

Toudai's eyes widened. _**'Oh. So, that's why he was so gun-ho to come down here.'**_

Roppi's eyes narrowed. “Well, first off, Tsuki doesn't whine like a bitch.”

Rubi's eyes widened with growing rage.

“You have Coravak's throwing themselves at your feet, wanting to mate with you but you can't get the Coravak you want?! Oh, you poor, poor thing! It's almost like you shouldn't be an unreasonable ass and maybe I would've liked the idea of mating with you! Just because you're the chieftain's son doesn't mean you always get what you want!”

“Fuck you, Roppi! I didn't do anything wrong! I was willing to take you as my lifemate when no one else wanted you!”

“Oh, yes, I'm so _honored_ that you'd be willing to take care of poor, pathetic me! So thankful that you'd be willing to put up with my tainted bloodline! It's so admirable for you to take one for the team!”

“That's not what I meant!”

“Bullshit, it's not what you meant!”

“Alright, alright.” Toudai stepped in between the two birdmen. He placed a hand on each of their chests and pushed them away from each other. “Roppi-kun, any unnecessary stress could affect the baby's health. Rubi-kun, you should not be causing that unnecessary stress. Let us stop the arguing for now.”

Roppi clenched his teeth hard. However, he instantly calmed when he felt a soft hand wrap around his own. Roppi looked down to see Tsuki by his side, holding his hand. His brows furrowed with obvious confliction. He then let inhaled deeply and let out a heavy sigh. He rested his forehead against Tsuki's.

Rubi immediately growled, glaring at the sight.

“Rubi-kun, I think it is best if you go home.” Toudai said.

“No, I'm not going anywhere.”

Toudai glowered. “Like it or not, Roppi-kun is safe with us. And like it or not, Roppi-kun will be having this baby. No amount of you complaining is going to change his choice.”

Rubi clenched his teeth.

“It is best for you to go home. Now that you know Roppi-kun is alright, you have no reason to stay.”

“But I do have a reason to stay!” Rubi yelled. “I want to make sure Roppi is safe!”

“I'm fine.” Roppi growled. “Go home.”

“Roppi, you are not going to be alright in a human settlement.”

“I've been fine for the last month.”

“But...But you said you're trying to end this towns tradition, so we don't have to worry about the rapes anymore. What if some of these zazaneks don't agree with your change! They might try to kill you and the baby, so they don't have to change their ways!”

“We have already thought of that.” Tsugaru stated. “Rest assured, we have taken Hachimen-san's safety into account, as has our mayor, Shiki-san.”

“No offense, but I don't trust you zazanek's. Not after everything you've done.”

“I assure you—”

“Who's Minlir did you steal?” Rubi glared at Tsugaru. Then at Delic. “And you? Or you?” He looked at Toudai.

“I do not have a brand.” Toudai stated.

“Bullshit.”

“It is true. I never did my Masculine-Cue.”

Rubi glowered to being proven wrong, then he looked at the blonds.

“And you two?” Rubi hissed.

Neither of them answered.

Rubi looked at Roppi. “And you're alright sleeping in the same house with two zazanek's who raped your fellow clansmen?”

“Stop calling them zazanek's. You're pissing me off.”

“Wh-what's zazanek?” Tsuki asked.

“It's slang for human. It basically means 'waste of flesh'.”

Toudai glowered at Rubi.

“Understand, Rubi.” Roppi growled. “I don't necessarily trust Tsugaru or Delic, but I trust Tsuki. And Tsuki promised to keep me safe.”

“You shouldn't trust him, Roppi. You don't—”

“ _I_ chose _Tsuki_! _Not_ the other way around! _I_ chose to give Tsuki my Minlir, _I_ chose to take Tsuki on as my lifemate! I chose to be a ninemil, to carry Tsuki's baby! Our relationship is completely consensual, whether you like it or not!”

Rubi clenched his teeth hard.

“I like you as a friend, Rubi. But I've chosen my lifemate and it's not you. You're going to have to live with it.”

Rubi didn't respond as he glared down at the ground. Toudai couldn't help feeling a little bad for this man. Even if it seemed he had done this to himself, it seemed like he genuinely cared for Roppi. Toudai couldn't help feeling like he found a kindred spirit.

Roppi let out a sigh. “Go home, Rubi. I'll be okay.”

“...Alright, fine. I won't question your choices, but...” Rubi looked up. “But I want to stay. I mean, I'm a xalaj. It's my job to protect the clan. If you're going to stay here, I want to stay. I mean...there's nothing wrong with an extra pair of muscles around, right?”

“....I do-don't know...” Tsuki said. “I-I think it's okay, so-so long as you're not alone with-with Roppi-san.”

Rubi cocked a brow. “Why can't I be alone with him?”

“Because if there is even a moment,” Tsugaru said, “where someone could claim that Hachimen-san was alone with another of his species or lacked monitoring, then they can also claim that whoever he was with is the actual father, not Tsuki. Unfortunately, we cannot leave you alone with Hachimen-san at any given time.”

“That means he can't sleep in our house.” Delic said. “Because if everyone is sleeping, then someone can point out that Rubi snuck into Roppi's bed.”

“B-but Roppi-san sl-sleeps with me.” Tsuki stated.

“We know that. But members of the council don't and explaining that to them may look like a lie or excuse. We can't take the risk.”

Rubi glowered.

“Well...” Toudai started.

Everyone looked at him.

“What if Rubi-kun stays here?”

“No, absolutely not!” Tsugaru called.

The blue blond rushed over to Toudai and grabbed his biceps. Rubi's eyes widened to the sudden flare of emotions from the quiet blond. Toudai, however, didn't look surprised as he just stared up at Tsugaru.

“We don't know Rubi well enough to let a stranger, especially a monster that has openly shown they dislike humans, sleep in the same home in you.”

“I will be fine.” Toudai stated with a soft smile.

“Toudai, I...Okay, whether you acknowledge it or not, that does not change that you are a girl. You have to protect yourself properly and take the proper precautions to do such!”

Toudai glowered. “Are you insinuating Rubi will rape me?”

“...I make no insinuations. But we do not know him.”

“Oh, please.” Rubi scoffed in disgust. “As if I would ever lay my hands on a nasty zazanek.”

“And would you not kill him?” Tsugaru looked at him.

“Since I'm in the middle of your territory, that would be very stupid of me. I won't be able to protect Roppi if I make myself public enemy number one.”

“But that's still—”

“Tsugaru, I will be fine.” Toudai grabbed the blonde's wrist. “Regardless of what _you_ say, I am a man and I can take care of myself just fine.”

_**'So long as I never acknowledge I'm a woman...'** _

“Toudai—”

“I. Will. Be fine.” Toudai took a step back. “I appreciate your concern, but I would not make this decision if I wasn't confident in it.”

Tsugaru wanted to argue. But Toudai's glare kept him from doing so.

* * *

Toudai waved the boys good-bye. Rubi stood in the doorway of the house, arms crossed and just watching the doctor. Toudai was fully aware of his stare, but allotted to ignore it.

The blonde's and Roppi were soon out of sight. Toudai let his smile fall as he let out a heavy sigh instead. He then turned to the door and walked back inside.

“Thanks for vouching for me.” Rubi said.

“We are not set in stone just yet.” Toudai said. “I need to speak with Shiki-san to finalize this.”

“...Well, thanks, regardless.”

Toudai looked at him. Then sighed and nodded. “You are welcome.”

He then walked past the Heartstone to enter his house. He heard the door close behind him, but decided not to look. Instead, he sat down on the couch. He was certainly tired. After a long hike and the long argument, he just needed to rest for a bit.

“So, why did you let me stay?” Rubi asked.

Toudai didn't answer.

“Are you really not scared of me?”

“No, I am not.”

“Why?”

“Why would I need to be?”

“Because I could kill you.”

“So could a bear on the mountain.”

“But bears don't sleep in the same house as you.”

“Would you stop looking a gift horse in the mouth? Just accept my generosity without question.”

Rubi looked confused. He obviously didn't understand that phrase. Toudai let out a heavy sigh and stood.

“I'm going to take a bath, then a nap.” Toudai said. “If anyone comes, do not let them see you and come get me instead.”

“...Alright, fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shalar mey een kanator rashil?—What are you doing here?  
> Shalar kana ín lána 'shalar mál im kanator rashil'? Im bajo uo yawiq een!—What do you mean 'what am I doing here'? I came to see you!  
> Íko tou daranort uo pápánet.—This is supposed to happen. It—


	5. Chapter 4

Toudai rubbed the towel against his scalp, fully dressed in his pajama's. He entered his room, closed the door, and flopped down on his bed face first. His cat, who had been sleeping on the pillow, lifted his little head with a trill. He blinked lazily. Toudai reached out and petted his little head. The cat purred.

“Oh, you're so cute~!”

Toudai buried his face into the cats side. The feline trilled again, looking down at him in obvious judgment. The doctor sat like that for a few minutes then let out a heavy sigh, turning his head so he could breath properly. He rested his head on the pillow next to his cat.

_**'This might have been a bit reckless, all things considering. Even if he doesn't hurt me, what if he destroys my house? Or steals something?'** _

Toudai looked over at the small shrine across the room from him. There was a single portrait of his deceased father, Diamond, in it.

_**'Dad, was this a dumb idea? I...I'm a man, so I shouldn't be scared of another man, right?'** _

Toudai glowered. He then rolled over on his side to look at his cat.

_**'If only it was that easy. I wonder if men do worry about being attacked by other men. Do they feel paranoid when walking down a dark street alone? Do they worry about the old drunkard walking towards them at the tavern? I don't know...'** _

Toudai closed his eyes.

_**'No, so long as I am a boy, Rubi won't do anything to me. Nothing bad will happen so long as I am a boy...'** _

* * *

Toudai doesn't remember falling asleep, but the doctor knew she was asleep. She looked down at herself to see her feminine form, something she saw every time she took an shower or changed her attire. Her clothes were gone, but it was no problem as she was in a never-ending black abyss.

However, she knew she wasn't alone. She had had this dream many times over the years. Probably until she was old enough to dream, maybe even before she could remember. Either or way, she knew this dream well enough to know she wasn't alone in this black plane.

She sat down on the floor, bringing her knees up and holding them to her chest. She waited.

Within seconds, she felt hands snake across her neck. The long nails trailed across the jagged scar around her throat before the dainty finger curled to hold her bottom jaw. The person tilted Toudai's head back to look up. The raven couldn't see this individuals face. Maybe she didn't actually know what he looked, maybe he didn't want her to see what he looked like. Toudai didn't know which it was. Nor did she bother asking. After all, she had asked plenty of times in the past and this person never answered.

“Aren't you a little early?” Toudai asked. “It's not my birthday yet.”

“I visit whenever I very well please.”

“But you usually visit on my birthday.”

“And the full moon. And during the day. And whenever I so desire.”

Toudai decided not to question him. This person was always a fickle soul, so she knew it was pointless to argue anything with him.

“What do you want this time?” Toudai asked.

“What I always want.” The man said, his voice as sweet as honey and as smooth as silk.

Toudai glowered. “Well, I don't want to.”

“There is no reason to deny me.” His hand trailed down her neck, the other holding her jaw completely, and placed his hand on her chest. “Become mine.”

“No.”

The man's hands tightened their grip on her body. It made her prickle with nervousness, but she kept her composure and simply glared.

“How many years have you refused me?”

“23.”

“Is it not time for you to accept me? Is it not time for you to come to me?”

“I see no reason to. I am content with my life. I see no reason to give up my freedoms for a man I don't know.”

“...Pity.”

His hands left her body. Toudai tilted her head down and allotted to looking over her shoulder. The man that she couldn't see very well was being engulfed in shadows. She could barely see his pale white flesh through the wisps of black.

“Just remember and never forget.” He said, “So long as you are a male, you will live contently. However, the moment you decide to be a female, you will be cursed to acts of unending suffering.”

“...I know.”

The man smiled before disappearing into the darkness.

“Hey, doc.”

Someone was shaking Toudai but the raven didn't know who.

“Doc.”

Toudai opened his eyes, the fog of sleep still surrounding him. For a moment, he couldn't register that the darkness was just the night sky casting the room, not the familiar abyss. Toudai groaned and rubbed his eye.

“Wha...?”

“Hey, you awake?” A male voice said.

Toudai grumbled as he reached out. He gripped the oil lamp and turned the flame up. He illuminated a white-and-pink-feathered harpy who was looking down at him with vibrant pink eyes.

“Did someone come?” Toudai sat up.

“No.” Rubi said. “I'm hungry. Make me food.”

Toudai immediately glowered. “Make it yourself.”

The raven rolled over, so his back was to the man. He grabbed his blanket and shuffled underneath.

“If I could, don't you think I would have already?” Rubi asked.

“Why is that my problem?”

“I'm a guest in your house. In my clan, you usually feed the person staying in your nest.”

“Yes, but when they act like a demanding little shit, I see no reason to do so.”

Rubi growled an inhuman growl. It sounded more like a ghastly female specter hissing.

“You know, you could say 'please' and 'thank you'. And you should probably work on apologizing. You and Roppi-kun would probably be on better terms if you did.”

“Knock it off.”

Rubi's hand grabbed Toudai's bicep and flipped the doctor over on his back. The white harpy loomed over Toudai menacingly. However, the raven refused to be intimidated.

“If you think you can scare me into obeying you, you are sorely mistaken. I would not have let you in my house if I could be frightened by you.”

Rubi growled that inhuman growl again.

“There are leftovers in the fridge.” Toudai pushed his hand off and rolled back over. “Put them on a plate, then place them in the microwave and set it for a few minutes.”

“...Fine.”

The harpy huffed as he turned and stalked out of the room.

_**'He acts quite spoiled, doesn't he? Well, if he is the son of the chieftain then he probably had a silver spoon since birth.'** _

Toudai exhaled and closed his eyes. He wanted to go back to sleep.

Five minutes passed and he began to smell something burning. Toudai's eyes opened wide.

_**'He did not...'** _

The raven wasted no time jumping to his feet and running out of his room.

“What are you burning?!” Toudai yelled as he rushed into the kitchen.

Rubi looked at him in confusion. “You said to put it in for a few minutes!”

Toudai rushed over to the microwave. Yes, Rubi had put it in for a few minutes. Ten minutes. And that was only at the time it was when Toudai came to it. For all he knew, he could have had it in for twenty minutes. Toudai quickly opened the microwave door and got a plume of terrible smelling smoke. He coughed and turned his head away.

The doctor grabbed a rag, held his breath, and reached into the microwave. He grabbed the plate with the burnt food. He wasn't sure what it had been, nor did he want to find out. He took the food to the compost box and dumped it in. He would have to take the compost out immediately now.

Toudai let out a heavy sigh, leaning against the counter. He cursed under his breath as he tilted his head down.

“By a few minutes,” Toudai started, “I meant like one or two. Not twenty.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” Rubi grumbled with indignation. “Just be happy I even figured out what the microwave was.”

Toudai let out a heavy sigh. _**'Guess I can't fault him too much. Technology is new to him.'**_

The doctor rubbed his hand through his hair and closed the microwave. He then went to the fridge to look at the leftovers.

_**'Ah, he tried to make the wagyu.'** _

Toudai could see the cooked squares of meat were gone. He didn't make the rest of the dinner leftover, which was the mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables.

“Alright.” Toudai reached inside the fridge and pulled out the other leftover, which was the meatloaf.

He decided to cook the entire thing, warming up the meatloaf for 3 minutes. Once done, he nuked the potatoes and mixed veggies as well. Soon enough, all were heated and he took the plates—one with meatloaf and the other with the potatoes and veggies—and two forks to the table.

“Come sit.” Toudai said.

Rubi stared at him for a moment before doing so. The doctor held out one of the forks to him. He looked confused but took it. Toudai made sure to demonstrate how to hold the utensil, without telling him so he wouldn't feel uneducated or stupid, and took a forkful of meatloaf. Rubi was staring at him intently before doing the same thing Toudai did.

“Mm!” Rubi's eyes widened. “This is really good! What's the red stuff on top?”

“It's technically it's own sauce, but it's made with ketchup and other seasonings.”

“What's ketchup?”

“A tomato-based condiment.”

Rubi looked confused.

“It's a thing meant to go on other things.”

“Wow, that explains so much.” Rubi's voice was filled with sarcasm.

“Well, I'm not sure how to explain something that you've never had.”

“...Hm...” Rubi continued to eat. “What's that white and brown stuff?”

“Mashed potatoes and brown gravy.”

“Is it good?”

“I would say so.”

Rubi looked skeptical but he took a scoop of potato and took a bite. His eyes widened.

“That's really good!” The white bird called.

Toudai smiled.

“I've never had something like this.”

“Do you not eat vegetables?”

“I don't know what that is.”

“Plants. You don't eat plants?”

“Not really. We eat grass sometimes, if we're feeling sick, it'll help us with our pellets.”

Toudai nodded.

“Ah, well, what you're eating is a vegetable, a plant.”

Rubi looked genuinely shocked by that. “It tastes good, despite that.”

Toudai smiled.

The two ate in silence, finishing off the food soon enough. Once done, Toudai grabbed the empty plates and took them to the sink.

“Well,” Rubi started, “at the very least, you zazaneks know how to make food.”

Toudai paused. But decided not to respond.

“How do you make food? I don't see any place for a bonfire.”

“We use the stove.”

“What's a stove?”

“That thing there.” Toudai lifted his foot and touched the stove.

Rubi stared at it in confusion.

Toudai went about cleaning the dishes. “By the way, do you think it's wise for you to spend the night here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you're the chieftain's son, yes? Wouldn't your father worry if you disappeared without a word?”

Rubi didn't respond. Toudai looked over his shoulder to see his pink eyes were wide.

_**'Well, that obviously didn't cross his mind until now.'** _

“...Well, I'm sure it'll be fine.” Rubi said. “I'll go back in the morning and talk to PowPow. You'll have to come with me.”

Toudai glowered. “I have things to do in the morning. I have patients.”

“So?”

“So, I will not be going with you.”

“But I can't leave the town without you, right? You have to escort me. The other zazaneks might try something.”

“You'll just have to wait until I'm done.”

“Why should I have to wait on you, zazanek?”

Toudai didn't respond. He finished the dishes, putting them in the strainer, then grabbed a towel. He dried his hands without even looking at Rubi. Once done, he turned and walked pass him.

“Hey, wait.” Rubi stood from the chair.

Toudai didn't wait. Instead, he went to the compost box and picked it up.

“Hey!” Rubi followed him.

Toudai walked down the hall until he made it to the backdoor. He held the box against his hip and opened the door.

“Where are you going?” Rubi growled.

Toudai didn't answer. He put on his geta's and walked out. He went to close the back door but Rubi wouldn't let him. Instead, he stepped outside as well and closed the door behind him.

“Don't ignore me.” Rubi glowered.

“Don't call me a zazanek then.”

Rubi's eyes widened. Toudai wasn't sure if it was surprise or rage. It looked like both, but Toudai didn't fully care to decipher such a gaze. He turned and went on his way.

“Where are you going?” Rubi asked.

Toudai didn't respond.

Rubi scoffed. “Alright, fine, what do you want me to call you? You never told me your name.”

Toudai paused to that, stopping in his tracks. _**'Did I not tell him?'**_

The doctor thought back to their early conversation. However, he couldn't really recall introducing himself. As far as he remembered, their conversation was entirely about Roppi. Although, he recalled Tsugaru calling him by his name plenty of times once they got back, the doctor could only assume Rubi didn't pick up on it.

“You may call me by my name if you would like.” Toudai stated. “It is Toudaimoto. Or you may call me 'doctor' as you did before. Whichever you're more comfortable with.”

“...Alright, _doc_!” He said the word with quite a bit of spite. “Where are you going?”

“I am taking out the compost pile.”

Rubi tilted his head. “Where are you taking it?”

“To the pigs.”

Rubi looked confused.

“You will see. Stay close to me.”

“Right.”

Rubi stepped just a tad closer to Toudai's side. They walked over behind two houses until they came to the biggest house in town. There was a barn and one side of the barn had a wooden fence around it. There was a retched scent as they approached, the smell of mud, feces, and another scent that Rubi didn't know. It smelt kind of like sweat, but it was particularly foul. Soon enough, they walked up to the fence, standing in front of a food troth. Toudai dumped the compost box into the troth.

To such a sound, a creature came out of a small entrance in the barn. It was a grotesque pink creature with small legs and a fat body. It let out strange noises, noises Toudai knew as oinks. Rubi had never seen a pig before. It showed on his face as he stared at the animal wide-eyed. He then lifted his white wing and covered the lower half of his face.

Toudai didn't waste much more time at the pigpen. It reeked, after all. He quickly turned around and went back the way he came. Rubi followed closely behind him.

“That thing was so big!” Rubi said. “And it really smelled!”

“Well, it was the pigpen that smelt, not the animal. They don't sweat, so they roll around in mud to keep cool. And if their owner does not clear their pigpen regularly, they may end up rolling in their fecal matter and thus smell bad. But that pig was clean, so it was definitely the pen that smelt.”

“Régan k _ú_ rosh, what does it eat to have that smelly of poos?!”

“Anything and everything. They aren't picky eaters. They'll eat humans if someone dumps a corpse in there.”

Rubi jumped.

“Rest assured, these pigs haven't known the taste of human flesh. We give proper burials to our dead. But pigs will eat literally anything.”

“Even Coravaks?”

“Probably. If the chance arose.”

“Why would you humans keep such a dangerous animal so close to your children?”

“Oh, no, no! Pigs aren't—well, they can be dangerous. I'm not sure if you've ever come across a wild boar, but if you didn't recognize the pig then probably not. Anyway, wild pigs are surely dangerous, but domesticated pigs aren't. They, like most animals, will change based on their environment. So, a domesticated pig will be calm and relaxed while domesticated because it doesn't need to struggle to survive. When they become a wild pig, they will have to become more ferocious to get food and protect themselves from predators.”

“So, so long as the pig is well-fed it's not a threat? Doesn't that make it a um...a...ticking time bomb? Is that the phrase?”

“Yes, I think that is right. But no, I don't think that is the case. That is under the assumption that every animal will turn savage if left unfed, and we unfortunately know that isn't true since there are some owners who abuse their pets.”

Rubi's eyes widened.

“So, domesticated pigs may be more likely to turn feral for food, but if they are like other animals, then that may be the last resort for them. A domesticated pig is not dangerous unless pushed to that point. They are as kindly as most pets.”

“What is a pet and why do people abuse them?”

The two made it back to Toudai's house. The doctor opened the back door and walked inside.

“A pet is an animal that you nurture, take care of, and love. For instance, here!”

Toudai rushed into the house and went into his bedroom. Laying on the bed still was his cat, still sleeping. Toudai walked over to the white animal and picked it up. The cat trilled in protest but didn't fight Toudai as the doctor left the room. He hugged the animal to his chest and petted his neck.

Toudai returned within seconds, in which Rubi cocked a brow in confusion.

“This is Shiro, my cat.” Toudai said. “He's my little baby. I take care of him and he pees on my shoes. You can really feel the love.”

Toudai walked over to the dinner table and put the cat down. Shiro shook out his pelt before turning around and meowing at Toudai. The doctor stroked his white pelt repeatedly.

“So...what? You just have this animal live in the house with you?” Rubi asked, sitting down.

“Yup! He's my animal companion. My best friend. Like an infant, but one that's more independent.”

“...Does he help you hunt?”

“Nope.”

“Does he keep your home safe?”

“Sometimes.”

“Does he keep you safe?”

“Sometimes.”

Rubi cocked a brow. “So, what does he do? Besides pee on your shoes?”

“He's cute, and makes me happy.”

Rubi looked confused.

“Why do people have babies?” Toudai asked.

“To continue the species?”

“But that doesn't require loving that baby. Why do people love their babies?”

“...Because they made it? Because they took care of it and raised it?”

“Well, I took care of him and raised him.” Toudai kissed Rubi's head. “He's like an adopted baby.”

“Ah. Hm...” Rubi looked at the cat. “But you're not preparing him for anything? Not to become a Minkirin?”

“What's a Minkirin?”

“What you are. Rookery-kin's are what you call babies or children, Flight-kin's are when you're old enough to start learning how to fly. And then we become Minkirin's when we're old enough to find a mate.”

“Ah, we call them adults.”

Rubi nodded. “So, you're not preparing this creature to become an adult and be independent?”

“He's already an adult. He's four-years-old now. In his years, he's about 37.”

Rubi looked confused.

“How do you guys measure age?”

“By warm and cold seasons. There's one warm season, then one cold season. Like, Roppi is 38 seasons and I am 40 seasons.”

Toudai cocked a brow. “But there are four seasons...”

Rubi cocked a brow as well. “No, there is only one warm season and one cold season.”

Toudai stared for a moment. “I can only assume you're counting spring and summer as one season and fall and winter as a second season.”

“Spring and summer? We call them ukomag for warm season and wiyomag for cold season. Ukomag is when the animals come out of hibernation and it gets really, really sunny and wiyomag is when the leaves become bare and it starts to snow.”

Toudai didn't respond. _**'Yeah, it's definitely spring and summer as one and fall and winter as another.'**_

Rubi glowered. “What? You got something to say?”

“No, nothing.” Toudai smiled. He turned away and immediately, Shiro began meowing at him. “Oh, what? You hungry? Want your om noms?”

The cat meowed again. Toudai chuckled as walked over to the fridge.

“By the way, do not eat my cat.” The raven said. “Since you are a carnivore, I just want to cover my basis.”

“I won't. Too much fur and not enough meat.”

“Okay, good. Thank you.”

“...Right...” Rubi glanced to the side.

Toudai could see a blush on his cheeks. _**'Ah, is he being bashful?'**_

The raven didn't understand why but he wouldn't question it.

_**'Maybe he's a tsundere.'** _

“But back onto what we were talking about before.” Rubi said. “You're the one who suggested I go tell my PowPow what's going on.”

 _ **'Oh, so we're done with the age conversation.'**_ Toudai glowered into the fridge. _**'Well, whatever.'**_

“You're also the one who told me I can't leave the town without you.” Rubi went on. “So, you need to come with me.”

“Yes, but I have responsibilities that I cannot cast to the side for you.” Toudai pulled out a small platter of tuna and grabbed a grater. “I need you to have patience and we will go.”

“...Alright fine, whatever.” Rubi crossed his arms and tossed his head to the side with obvious attitude. “What time will you be done?”

“Usually around eleven or noon.” Toudai put the grater on the cutting board, then began grating the tuna.

Rubi looked blank.

“When the sun reaches its highest point in the day.”

“Oh, dedejaj.”

Toudai could only assume that was noon. He decided not to question it and nodded instead.

“...Hm. I'm not sure if I should wait that long.” Rubi said. “I'm saying this with genuine concern for you clan. My nninepow is the chieftain, after all. He might not take to my absence very well—Oh, wait! I have morning watch tomorrow! I can't, pwah! Kif!”

“Well, what is it you wish to do?” Toudai finished his task and moved the grater to the side. He gripped the shredded meat and put half of it into a small, low bowl. The other half he put into a plastic baggy to feed his cat tomorrow.

“I'm not—”

There was a knock at the door. They both looked at it. Rubi's feathers began to raise with obvious tension. Toudai put the bowl on the counter. Shiro immediately began eating. Toudai then went to the door.

“Go into my bedroom and remain quiet.” Toudai said.

Rubi didn't argue. The white harpy rushed to Toudai's room. The doctor headed to the door.

Toudai was not surprised to see Shiki at his door.

“Hello.” The doctor said.

“Good evening. Sorry to visit you so late.”

“It is alright. I was partly expecting you. Although, I thought you would come in the morning.”

Shiki nodded.

“Please, come in.” Toudai held the door open for him.

“Thank you.” Shiki walked in.

Toudai closed the door. Shiki was looking around. “So, where is the Heartstone? Tsugaru told me you were letting him stay the night.”

“Hiding.”

“Well, he should be part of this conversation.”

“Well...things actually became a bit more complicated.”

“Why?” Shiki looked at him.

“The Heartstone that was friends with Roppi-kun, he is apparently the chieftain's son.”

Shiki's expression soured. “...Oh, well, that certain is a problem.”

“Yes. He and I are currently trying to figure out what to do to let his father know he's here by choice.”

“...Hm.” Shiki stood back on his hip, supporting all his weight on one leg as he crossed his arms. “The sooner the better, I would think. The last thing we want is for the Heartstone clan to come down and declare war on us.”

“But at this time at night, it would be dangerous for both me and the Heartstone to go up. I may very well not make it down if there is a misunderstanding.”

“I'm not going to let you get killed.” The Heartstone said.

Toudai jolted and looked to his left. Rubi was standing in the mouth of the hallway, obviously listening in. The doctor glowered at him.

“You're my only safety net in this town.” Rubi continued. “If you die, I can't look after Roppi.”

“How comforting.” Toudai scoffed. “But that does not mean you'll be able to protect me if one of your own so desires to hurt me.”

“I'm the chieftain's son and a xalaj. There aren't many who would ignore me.”

“Except for your father.”

“Actually,” Shiki interrupted. “I think it would be wise for your father to talk to us—or more so myself.”

Rubi cocked a brow.

“I have many questions about your species and it would be for the best to speak to someone with the authority and—supposed—honor not to lie.”

Rubi glowered, pulling his lip back in a snarl as an inhuman growl bubbled in his throat. “Are you trying to insinuate that my PowPow is not honorable?”

“I don't know him, so who's to say.”

Rubi hissed. “My ninepow is far more honorable than you. Who's Minlir did you steal?”

“It is unimportant.”

“Is it? The leader of the human clan has practiced the same terrible behavior the rest of this Sister-awful town has displayed. You're just as much of a beast as the bastards who impregnated Roppi's ninemil!”

Shiki didn't respond, his eyes narrowing. “Regardless of that, it doesn't change that I don't know your chieftain, nor do I know if you being here will start an all-out war. As such, I would like you to leave the village. Go back to your clan and talk to your chieftain.”

“I'm not leaving Ropp—”

“You may return in the morning with your chieftain. We will meet in the woods if you so desire, so that the Heartstone's will be more in their element. Let us talk, and figure your accommodation out. However, it will have to wait until tomorrow.”

Rubi growled, sounding like a hags gurgle.

“Rubi,” Toudai stepped forward. “I believe this is a good idea. You cannot see Roppi-kun until the morning anyhow.”

Rubi's lip pulled back into a snarl.

“If a war is started between the village and your clan, you will not be able to see Roppi at all in the near future.”

Rubi hissed before scoffing. “Fine!”

Toudai smiled softly then nodded. “I'll escort you to the woods.”

The white-feathered harpy stared at him. “Better yet, come with me.”

“...Hah?”

“Come with me. You'll be my insurance policy that I'll be able to come back.”

“...Um, Rubi-kun, I told you before I have responsibilities in the morning.”

“Toudai is not going with you.” Shiki stated.

“Then how do I know you won't booby trap whatever clearing you want to meet us in?”

“You have my word.”

“Oh yes. Because dirt has any worth.”

Shiki glowered.

“Either Toudai comes with me or I stay here. I need insurance and you need incentive. It makes the most sense.”

Toudai openly glowered at the harpy man. Shiki did as well.

_**'So, take the risk of starting a war, or take the risk of...well, anything that they could think to do to me.'** _

The raven glowered at the floor.

_**'But is my life worth more than the lives of the women, children, and elders that may suffer if the Heartstone's come for us?'** _

Toudai thought on that for a moment. Then let out a heavy sigh.

“Alright, fine.” Toudai stated.

“What?” Shiki looked at him. “No. Absolutely not.”

“No, Shiki-san, it is alright.” Toudai raised a hand for calm. “We need to think of the whole town here.”

“I am thinking of the whole town. _Every_ life in the town. I'm not going to allow you to enter a dangerous place filled with monsters all on a 'what if'!”

“If that's your view on it,” Rubi shrugged, “Then there's no reason for me to leave since it's just a 'what if'.”

Shiki glared at him.

“He has a point.” Toudai sighed. “I will be fine. It's not as if they will hurt me.”

“But there's not any guarantee they _won't_ hurt you.”

“I'll keep Toudai safe.” Rubi sneered at him. “If anything happens to him, then I lose my voucher back into the town.”

Shiki opened his mouth to argue, however, Toudai shook his head. The mayor certainly wasn't happy. He glowered at the harpy man then at the floor. He then let out a heavy sigh of irritated defeat.

“Fine.” He looked at Rubi. “However, if _anything_ happens to Toudaimoto then there _will_ be a war.”

“Looks like I'll start a war no matter what.”

Shiki glowered.

“It will be fine.” Toudai said. “I can take care of myself.”

Shiki didn't look convinced. He stared at Toudai with skepticism as his eyes trailed to the younger man's chest. His chest that he hadn't gotten around to binding since he was in the safety of his own home. The doctor did not like that, glowering at Shiki as he crossed his arms over his feminine lumps.

“I will. Be. Fine.”

Shiki made eye contact with him. He then let his features relax in defeat. “Understood.”

He then looked at Rubi.

“What time will you be bringing him back?” Shiki asked.

“Probably dawn.” The white harpy said.

“Alright, I will have the watcher's stay vigil at that time.”

“Okay.”

Shiki nodded one last time before Toudai escorted him to the door. Soon enough, the mayor was gone, and the two were left alone again.

“So, we heading out now?” Rubi asked.

“It would seem so. Allow me to attend to my cat first and lock the house, then we will be on our way.”


	6. Chapter 5

Rubi let out a mighty screech so the others were aware of his return. The screech reverberated around them. It was a small screech; as soon as he opened his mouth, he closed it so it wouldn't hurt anyone's ears.

Rubi fluttered down to a clearing illuminated by strange white stones where there were many other Heartstone's scurrying about. He flapped his wings rapidly, letting himself hover above the ground. He then let Toudai go, who landed on his feet without question. Rubi then swooped to the side and landed next to him.

Toudai glowered at him. “Why couldn't you have done that the first time?”

“Cuz I don't care.” Rubi walked past him.

Toudai glowered after him.

An individual began yelling, speaking in that strange language Toudai didn't know as he stared at him wide-eyed. The Heartstone's were looking at Toudai with obvious expressions. The children looked confused, the teenagers were curious, and the adults were a mixture of fearful, hatred, and shocked. Toudai looked at them all, particularly looking at their physique.

_**'There really are no females. They're all male. Unless maybe the females are underground or in hiding? Maybe they're all inside those huts?'** _

Toudai noticed the numerous amount of pelt-made huts around the clearing. It was entirely possible there were females inside the huts. But Toudai didn't hold his breath about that. He had no reason to believe Rubi was a liar.

After all, the white-feathered man was currently defending him. He stood in front of Toudai with his wings stretched wide, yelling to the crowd in their language. Toudai took a step closer. He looked at the crowd behind him, who were certainly moving closer to them. The doctor resisted the urge to grab Rubi's shirt. He didn't want to seem like a scared damsel. He was a man, after all.

The individual Rubi was yelling at was glaring at the white-feathered man with disappointment and annoyance. It was quite obvious, from Toudai’s perspective, that it was like a senpai who was upset with his kouhai. The two were going back and forth for a while until another man entered the scene. Toudai stepped up on his tiptoes to look over Rubi's wing.

The newcomer had blood-red feathers, an obviously masculine face, and a very prominent scar of his closed right eye. He wore a blue button-up and a thin black overcoat, both of which Toudai could only assume were sleeveless. He couldn’t see them since he had a rather intimidating shawl on. He also had a pair of long pants that matched his overcoat and covered every inch of his bird legs. They looked similar to bell-bottoms since his legs were bent back and pushing the pant legs opening wider. Toudai could still see his bird feet, which were a russet brown with black claws.

He was quite intimidating. Toudai couldn't help thinking like that. Especially since this man also wore a bear-skin pelt around his body. It hid most of his form and was more like a shoulder wrap than a shawl. He was able to see everything that he wore, but not his wings.

“PowPow.” Rubi tilted his head down in a half-bow. At least that's what it looked like to Toudai. At the same time he brought the back of his hands up to touch his knuckles against his forehead, crossing them over each to make a kind of 'X'.

Toudai made eye contact with the red Heartstone. He had a smile on his face, but his one eye was narrowed. That smile was certainly not kind. Toudai decided to imitate Rubi's gesture, tilting his head down and make an 'X' with his hands pressed to his forehead.

Rubi sat up straight and began talking to the red Heartstone. Toudai brought his arms down and looked up as well. The raven had no idea what Rubi was saying, but he was constantly gesturing to Toudai.

The raven decided to look at the crowd. It wasn't like he could partake in the conversation at the moment anyway. Besides, he had a theory he wanted to try and prove right. The strange white stones provided perfect light, so he could see every Heartstone perfectly. He looked at the naval regions of all the Heartstone's that weren't wearing shirts or were wearing croptops. Most of them lacked belly buttons. But a few had them. The amount of harpies who had a smooth stomach verse the amount of people who had a naval was astronomically outnumbered.

_**'Tsugaru said Roppi-kun was a half-breed. That he was half-human. Rubi is a purebred, supposedly. So maybe there is a way to tell them apart without the birth being the only way. Maybe—'** _

“Did you find something of interest?”

Toudai jolted to the voice very close to his ear. He turned his head to see the red harpy had switched places with Rubi. The white-and-pink-feathered man stood a few feet back with his arms crossed and a glower towards the ‘PowPow’.

“I was merely observing.” Toudai stated, bowing slightly. “Excuse me for staring.”

“What were you observing, if I might ask?”

“The naval's, sir.” Toudai made eye contact with him. “Our village doesn't truly believe that your clan can be impregnated by man. That you're male species can't be impregnated by another male.”

“Yes, Rubi explained that to me just now.”

Toudai nodded. “Their reasoning is because you lot lay eggs, and well, are all male. Although, the notion that you lay eggs despite being male is proof enough you can impregnated. Then comes the argument of if a bird can be impregnated by a mammal. That is currently what Roppi-kun and Tsukishima are trying to prove. If we can prove that Tsukishima is the biological father to Roppi-kun's coming spawn, then the council will have no choice but to stop out tradition. Although, I think we can prove that before then.”

“Oh? Do tell.” The man pulled out a cane from under his pelt and placed it to the ground. He leaned on it with both hands, crossing one foot around the other so he could lean forward a bit.

“Well, animals that are birthed from eggs do not have naval's, or belly buttons. These things here.” Toudai lifted his shirt and gestured to his naval. “This indent is where the umbilical cord connected the mother to the baby. The umbilical cord is a fleshy appendage that allows the baby to gain nutrients from the mother while it grows in their womb, no different than yolks within your eggs.”

Toudai put his shirt down.

“Only animals that have live births have belly buttons. Animals that come from eggs—insects, birds, lizards—don't have belly buttons. So, the fact that Roppi-kun had a naval, but Rubi doesn't is proof that Roppi-kun came from a live birth, not an egg. And from what Rubi has told me, only those with a human parent can have a life birth, instead of laying an egg.”

The redhead nodded. “Although, that doesn't prove that Roppi will have a live birth, now does it?”

“...No, I guess not. But it can provide more proof for Shiki-san to try and convince the council to stop our tradition.”

“Shiki-san?”

“Our mayor—er, I guess you could say he's the chieftain of our town.”

“If he is the chieftain, then why can't he put a stop to this himself?”

“Because he is merely the head of the town. A mayor is appointed by the town managers, the councilmen, but he is more of a glorified councilman than a leader. He is basically the figurehead, the voice of the council's decisions. He still has to get permission from the rest of the council in order to enact any new laws, or destroy old ones. It's a voting system, mostly. If Shiki-san is outvoted, then majority rules and his attempt to stop our tradition is over. So, if he is going to do something so difficult, he's going to need as much proof as he can possibly get.”

“Is there no point to being a ‘mayor’ then?”

“No, again, he is the figurehead of the council. He is the one the town can turn to when they have problems, and subsequently, he is the one the council can turn to in order to know what may be best for the townsfolk. We have a democracy, where we appoint the people we want to lead us and they work together to meet the townsfolk’s needs. It’s different than a monarch, which is where one person is responsible for the populous and what they say is law, whether it’s reasonable or not.”

The man nodded. “Yes, I am aware. We run by a ‘monarch.’

“And you are?”

“My name is Akabayashi. I am the Ómgotis, or, as you put it, the ‘chieftain’ of the Root Clan.”

Toudai nodded.

Do you intend to help this Shiki with his proof?”

“...So, you do it too.”

The man tilted his head. “What?”

“Nothing.” Toudai shook his head, smiling a little. Then he looked at him properly. “Yes, I intend to help. I'll be the one to deliver Roppi-kun's baby when the time comes.”

“Hm.”

The man stood properly, grabbing his cane. He popped it up higher in his hand, then tilted his forward. It came underneath Toudai's chin and forced his head to tilt back.

“And what is in it for you to put an end to this tradition of your town?” The man asked.

Toudai cocked a brow. “Isn't putting a stop to normalized rape a good enough reason to help?”

“Maybe. But what do _you_ get out of it in particular?”

“I don't get anything out of it. Just the satisfaction that I know our boys won't be raised to think that rape is acceptable under any circumstances.”

“Do you have a child?”

“No.”

“Does your wife disapprove of you having a minlir?”

“I don't have a brand. I never did my Masculine-Cue.”

“Why?”

“...It is...complicated.” Toudai glanced to the side, putting his hand on the cane and pushing it down, so he could turn his head slightly. “Just know, I never took a minlir from anyone here.”

“I think we would need proof of that.”

Toudai's eyes widened to the implication a split second before he felt the cane slink up his shirt. The fabric was lifted.

“Hey, wait!” He took a step back and pushed his shirt back down.

The chieftain grabbed Toudai's wrist and lifted it up with a twist. The raven cringed as his arm started to ache. The cane went back up his shirt, hooking around the hem and pulling it up, up, up. Until it exposed the bandages around his chest.

The red harpy looked down. “Ah, so that's why.”

He let Toudai's wrist go. The raven didn't back away, merely put his hands on his shirt and meekly pushed down. The harpy didn't let up.

“You're not a male. I'm assuming a Maculine-Cue is just for men.”

The man pulled his cane away. Toudai fixed his shirt.

“I am a man.” Toudai stated. “It's just complicated.”

“If I recall, human males don't have breasts.” Akabayashi poked his chest.

Toudai didn't respond, glowering.

The man stared at him. “You also have bandages around your neck. Is that something that is complicated as well?”

Toudai's eyes widened. He was wearing a turtleneck, he always wore a turtleneck. No one should have been able to notice.

_**'Wait, he made me tilt my head back. Maybe then...'** _

Toudai clenched his teeth. “Yes, it is.”

The man smiled. “If you could, may I see your arm?”

Toudai looked up at him with a glower. Akabayashi held his hand out expectantly.

_**'Not like I have much choice right now, do I?'** _

Toudai grumbled at the notion. But he put his arm out, nonetheless, and placed it in the Heartstone's hand. Akabayashi rubbed his thumb over Toudai's wrist. Then he pushed his long, black talon into the flesh. Toudai closed one eye in pain but didn't flinch. Blood began to drip. The man moved his thumb and lifted Toudai's wrist to his mouth. His tongue came out to lap up the blood.

Akabayashi’s eyes narrowed even more.

“Ah, I understand now.” The harpy said.

He let Toudai's wrist go. The raven pulled his arm back to his chest. Akabayashi pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and reached out for Toudai again. The doctor didn't fight as Akabayashi put the piece of clothe to his small wound.

The man then yelled something to the other Heartstone's in their native tongue. Many eyes widened and multiple harpies jolted all across the clearing. Toudai looked around in confusion and a hint of paranoia.

“You are welcome here, rest assured.” The chieftain said to regain Toudai’s attention. “If you have pure intentions, then we will agree to meet your mayor tomorrow.”

Toudai looked at him with that confusion. But nodded all the same.

“It seems you failed to introduce yourself.” Akabayashi said.

Toudai hesitated then nodded. “My apologies. I am Kurashi Toudaimoto. Son of Kurashi Diamond and the gynecologist to the town.”

Akabayashi nodded and came around Toudai. The raven held the handkerchief to his wound while Akabayashi put his arm around his shoulders.

“Well, Kurashi-san, you're welcome to stay in our home for the night. We will take you back down the mountain in the morning. We do not have night vision, so it would be dangerous to try and fly at night.”

“That is fine. I expected as much. However, I think we have more to discuss.”

“No, no. You don't need to worry about anything. Everything is already settled. I will give a full explanation to this Shiki-san tomorrow, as asked.”

“Well, yes, that is all well and good, but there is something that has been bugging me. Something I truly wish to know.”

“And that is?”

Toudai looked up at him. “Why do you remain on this mountain? You are all well aware of our tradition by now. Yet, you never moved your clan away from our town. Why?”

A sad smile crossed Akabayashi's face. He then gestured for Rubi to follow, which he did. The individual Rubi had been yelling at earlier called out to the crowd and made gestures to disperse. Akabayashi, Toudai, and Rubi began walking towards a giant boulder, a huge fissure in it with drapes of lichen covering most of the entrance.

“That is quite simple, but quite complicated at the same time.” Akabayashi said. “It would be easier to show you.”

“Show me?”

“In the morning. And if we show you, you must keep quiet about this information.” The harpy put a finger to his lips.

“...Understood.”

* * *

“So that's why that Tsugaru guy was worried about you being alone with me.” Rubi said.

“What do you mean?”

Toudai sat on a mound of skinned pelts. Most of them were deer and cow, but Toudai came across a black bear pelt as well. The raven was settling down for the night, having been provided extra clothes and clean water to wash up with. The room was obviously Rubi’s since it was filled with white and pink clothes everywhere and a hairbrush filled with blond hair. Akabayashi had gone through the effort of installing a makeshift curtain, so that Rubi and Toudai could sleep separately despite being in the same room and Toudai could have some privacy.

“Cuz you're a ninemil.”

Toudai didn't know what that was.

“You're a...female, I think is the word.”

“No, I am a man.”

“That's not what PowPow said.”

“It's complicated, Rubi.”

“Just as complicated as the fact that you're a half-breed too?”

Toudai's eyes widened to the statement. But he made sure not to face Rubi, so he couldn't see his expression. “I do not know what you mean.”

“PowPow said we can't breed with you because you're not a full human.”

“Although I appreciate the protection, I am human.”

“No, you're not. My dad's never wrong about this kind of stuff.”

“Well, he's wrong this time.”

Rubi glowered at him. “Fine, suit yourself.”

The white harpy pulled the curtain closed.

Finally out of Rubi's sight, Toudai took off his shirt. He exposed the bandages over his chest. He was still very sour that Akabayashi just blatantly went up his blouse like that. If he was a proper girl, he would have slapped his as hard as he could. But a man wouldn't have gotten that bent out of shape over a nip slip, so it would have been an overreaction if he did that.

Toudai let out a sigh before he began stripping off his bandages. He always loathed to bind his chest, part of the reason why he didn't go outside often. When he was alone in the comfort of his home, he didn't have to hide his breasts and he could let them breath all day. After all, binding one's breast put a lot of pressure on the chest and made it much harder to breath. Toudai was surely used to it by now. He knew how to breath properly, but he still didn't like it. So, he wasn't very ecstatic of having to put his bandages back on after he thought he was free for the day.

Toudai let out an exhale of relief as his chest was finally free to breathe.

“Are you pleasuring yourself over there?” Rubi asked.

Toudai jolted and looked over his shoulder with a glower. The white harpy was still on the other side of the curtain.

“What? No!” Toudai called. “Why would I do such a thing?!”

“Cuz you moaned.”

“I did not moan!”

“You totally did.”

“I did not! I think it is you who wishes to pleasure oneself!”

“Heh, in your dream, zazanek.”

“Don't call me a zazanek.”

The two huffed in indignation.

“Well, I see you two are getting along.” Akabayashi's voice sounded.

Toudai jolted and quickly went about putting on his shirt.

“That's not funny, PowPow.” Rubi growled. “He's infuriating.”

“So you say.” Akabayashi walked up to the curtain. “Are you decent, Kurashi?”

“Um, yes.” Toudai said, putting the last few buttons together.

Akabayashi moved the curtain to the side, holding a blanket in his hand.

“I hope everything is comfortable for you.” The chieftain said.

“Oh, yes, it is all quite nice. Thank you for your hospitality.” Toudai smiled crookedly. “I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting a warm welcome when I came here.”

“Well, you are a brother in arms. If my clan can live in peace on this mountain, I would prefer it.”

Toudai nodded. He already knew why. He could assume it wasn’t because he came with those intentions, but because they claimed he wasn’t fully human. But he decided to ignore it, just as he's always done. So long as he ignored it, it couldn't bother his daily life.

“Here.” Akabayashi gave Toudai the blanket. “It's going to be a bit nippy tonight.”

Toudai nodded. “Thank you very much.”

“Of course. If you need anything else, feel free to let me know. Or wake Rubi up. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.”

“I would totally mind!” Rubi growled, lying down on a much bigger mound of pelts than Toudai's. “He'll be fine!”

“Rubi, kana bon aía durid. Toudai tou fex yalakaoté.”

Rubi grumbled.

Toudai smiled smugly.

“I must say, it's nice to see Rubi get bent out of shape over someone other than Roppi.” Akabayashi said, smiling at Toudai.

“Oh? So, he's usually not a grump all the time?”

“No, usually he's very happy. I'll admit, I spoiled him a lot as a rookery-kin and since he's my child, he never had anyone question his decisions. Except Roppi, who tended to call him out on a lot of things. So, the fact that you make him annoyed is very reassuring.”

Rubi scoffed and rolled over so his back was to them. Akabayashi chuckled. He then leaned down low and whispered to Toudai.

“Please, continue to be friends with him if our clans can come to terms.”

Toudai didn't really see that being the case, but he wouldn't tell him that. “I will do my best, sir.”

Akabayashi smiled. “Good night, you two. Rubi, grígrí shalar im abada nítoro. Een mey bon fexej usameerto.”

“Im quris.”

“Im snomis teu.”

“Im quris!”

Rubi glowered at each other. Toudai couldn't understand what they said, but it sounded no different than a father trying to drill something into a kids head and the kid responding with 'I know, I know' indignantly.

_**'He really is a spoiled brat.'** _

Toudai let out a sigh.

_**'Well, it's not my problem.'** _

Toudai went about taking the bandages off from around his neck. He then pulled his shirt collar up to hide it from the harpies. He lied down on the pelts, unfolding the blanket over himself and bringing it under his chin. Akabayashi walked out of the room with a wave good-bye. Rubi grabbed the curtain and drew it close between them. He then draped a rag over the strange, white rock and the whole room went dark.

“Good night, Rubi-kun.” Toudai said.

“You can drop the 'kun'. We don't use those honorifics in the clan.”

“What kind of honorifics do you use then?”

“We don't. Dad's the only one with honorific's. We call him 'ómgotis'.”

“Ah. Got it.”

“Yeah, so stop calling me 'kun'.”

“Alright, Rubi.”

Rubi didn't respond.

“Although, I do find your speech a little curious.” Toudai said. “Seems like you got it front your father.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You use masculine pronouns when talking to us, but gender neutral pronouns when talking about other Heartstone's.”

“Coravak's. We're not Heartstone's, we're Coravak's.”

“...Right, excuse me. But yes, you and your father both do that. You use 'he' 'him' 'his' whenever you talk about Roppi to us but not when you talk about Roppi to another Heartst—Coravak.”

“Well, yeah. I don't like your pointless pronouns, but I know of them so I'll use them when I need to.”

“They're not pointless.”

“Yes, they are. You never even use the 'she' or 'her' ever.”

“ _You_ don't, but you haven't spoken to a woman yet.”

“I've spoken to you but you want to be a 'he'.”

“I am a 'he'.”

“Not from what I understand about humans, you aren't. I heard 'shes' are decided at birth. You're born a ninemil and that's all there is to it. But you're going around pretending to be a ninepow.”

“Rubi, shut up.”

Rubi jolted. “Shut up?! Who do you think you are?!”

The white harpy pushed the curtain to the side, grabbed the cloth off the rock so the room was illuminated again, and leaned over to Toudai.

However, he didn't say anything as he saw Toudai's face. The doctor knew he wasn't hiding his emotions well. He knew the inner pain was showing on his expression, but he couldn't help it. He had had this conversation before and every time, it always hurt.

Rubi cocked a brow as he glowered. “If you don't like pretending, then why are you doing it?”

“I'm not pretending.” Toudai said. “I have to be a boy. I can't...I just can't.”

“Why?”

“It's...complicated.”

“It can't be that complicated.”

“It is.” Toudai tilted his head down. “It's a very long story.”

Rubi stared at him. Toudai's brows furrowed.

A clawed hand reached out and touched Toudai's cheek. The raven jolted and looked up at Rubi. The Heartstone rubbed his cheek with his thumb almost lovingly.

“Well, if you and I are going to be stuck together for a while, you might as well tell me.”

Toudai glowered. _**'He's so bad at how he phrases his sentences. Can't be honest at all.'**_

The raven pulled Rubi's hand off his cheek. “Just...drop it.”

Toudai turned away from him.

“It's nothing you need to worry about.”

A growl rumbled in Rubi's throat. It made Toudai jolt, since he wasn't expecting to hear the vile gurgling of a ghostly hag. His heart sped up to the noise a moment before he realized it came from Rubi.

“Fine.” Rubi grumbled and turned around.

Toudai looked over his shoulder. Rubi had turned his back to him. That hurt a little, but Toudai allotted to ignoring that feeling. There was no need to be so emotional about it. Not like a boy would get upset over something so trivial.

Toudai let out a heavy sigh and rested his head on the pillow.

_**'Ah, I wish Shiro was here. It's so hard to sleep without him here with me.'** _

Toudai hugged the bear pelt to his chest, hoping the soft fur would help him sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rubi, kana bon aia durid. Toudai tou fex yalakaoté.—Rubi, do not be rude. Toudai is a guest.
> 
> Rubi, grígrí shalar im abada nítoro. Een mey bon fexej usameerto.—Rubi, remember what I said earlier. You are not an exception.
> 
> Im quris.—I know.
> 
> Im snomis teu.—I mean it.


	7. Chapter 6

Toudai doesn't recalled falling asleep. He felt like he had a dream of some sort but he couldn't remember what it was. It was probably for the best. He didn't get a good nights sleep, so there was little doubt it was some kind of stress dream.

The doctor woke because he was very warm. There was a slight perspiration to his entire body and his shirt was sticking to him. He threw the blanket off him and reached over to the canteen he had brought with him. He untwisted the nozzle and took a generous gulp. Once satisfied, he looked over his shoulder. Rubi was gone. Toudai was surprised him leaving didn't wake him up. He considered himself a light sleeper. In the end, he decided it wasn't something to worry about.

Toudai sat up, his shirt drooping low to expose his shoulder. He could feel the bedhead without question. He knew for a fact half of his hair was sticking up towards the sky. He rubbed his hand through his hair, but it probably didn't help. He let out a mighty yawn, then stood. He grabbed his haori and put it on. It was extremely hot and his coat didn't help, but he would have to deal with it until he could bandage his chest properly.

He left Rubi's room and went to the 'bathroom' where he could wash his face and urinate. Once he finished with that, he would get properly dressed and looked for Rubi or Akabayashi.

* * *

“Régan kúrosh, how long did you plan to sleep for?!” Rubi balked as Toudai came out of the lichen drapery. “It's nearly dedejaj!”

“Mm-hm.” Toudai said. “I usually sleep this late if I can get away with it.”

“How can you be that lazy?!”

“Yeah, I'm not going to talk to you if you're going to be an ass.” Toudai walked past the white harpy.

“Ah, hey!” Rubi turned around quickly and rushed to catch up to him. “Where are you even going to go, huh?”

“To your father. He's much better company anyway.”

“You don't even know where he is!”

“Yes, but I'd much rather get lost looking for him than listen to you prattle on about useless things.”

“Useless...!” Rubi jolted to the words.

There were snickers from the crowd. Toudai stopped to look over his shoulder at Rubi. The white harpy was blushing up to his ears as he tilted his head down, his eyes flashing around the clearing to those who were trying not to laugh.

 _ **'Ah, so he's worried about being judged.'**_ Toudai couldn't help but smile at the thought. _**'Serves you right.'**_

“Where is Akabayashi-san?” Toudai asked.

Rubi glowered at him.

“The faster we find him, the faster I'm out of your feathers.”

Rubi's glower narrowed into a glare. He then scoffed and rolled his eyes. “He's doing a patrol. He'll be back in a bit.”

“The chieftain does border patrols?”

“Not often. But he wanted to make sure no humans were treading too close to the territory.”

“Isn't that a good thing?” Toudai asked. “Shiki-san will probably be up soon enough to come see what's taking us. And if they are closer to your territory, then they are in your domain.”

“No, that's not good. We don't want anyone getting to close too the bríbré.”

Toudai could only assume that word mean 'camp' or 'settlement', in reference to their home of Heartstone's.

“They won't be able to.” The doctor said, “The only way to get through that thicket of trees is to either climb them, chop them down, or fly over them. By the time they make it through, this whole encampment can be cleared out and long gone.”

“That's not the point.” Rubi rolled his eyes.

Toudai rolled his eyes as well. “Well, whatever. When will Akabayashi-san be back?”

“When he gets back!”

“So, you don't know.”

Rubi glowered.

Toudai rolled his eyes again, letting out a sigh.

Rubi's feathers bristled with obvious irritancy. “You...!”

“Wait, um...!”

The two looked over to the new voice that intervened. A Heartstone who stood shorter than Toudai stepped up to them. He had black and gold feathers with white tips and downy feathers of either gold or white. His podotheca's were white with golden pads; he had four toes on his feet, two in the front and two in the back; and his wore a sand-colored tunic that lacks sides and probably a back but Toudai couldn't see that. The tunic had huge buttons under his arms to keep it fastened. Over his shoulders was a golden cape, one that matched the colors of his eyes.

“I...I don't think...” The Heartstone started, looking rather sheepish. “Òmgotis wouldn't like you getting angry at our yalakaoté. If they're annoying you, Òmgotoris, I can look after him.”

Rubi glowered at the Heartstone. He shrunk back under the stare. Toudai glowered at Rubi for making the smaller man uncomfortable.

Toudai smiled. “I wouldn't mind the change in company.”

The raven walked pass Rubi to the Heartstone. However, he was stopped in his tracks as Rubi grabbed his arm. Toudai looked back at him with a glower.

“If you think I'm going to let you run off with one of our younger members, you're dreaming.” Rubi growled.

“Oh, please. You honestly think I would target a Heartstone?”

“Who knows what you would do, zazanek.”

Toudai scoffed. “I guess you're right. You won't know what I'll do. For instance, I'm about five seconds away from smacking you if you do not release my arm.”

“Try it.” Rubi tugged him close. “See how fast you get floored.”

The two glared, mere centimeter's away from each other.

“Rubi!”

They looked over to the boisterous voice. Akabayashi came flying into the clearing, landing a few feet away with a glare pointed at his son. Two other Heartstone's landed behind him. Rubi glared right back, but he let Toudai go. Toudai rubbed his arm and glowered. He then looked up at Akabayashi with a smile.

“Good afternoon, Akabayashi-san.”

“Good afternoon.” Akabayashi walked over. “I apologize for my son. He isn't much of a morning person.”

Toudai chuckled. “Nor am I. We are both to blame for the altercation.”

“He started it.” Rubi muttered under his breath.

They both glowered at him, but Rubi had his head turned to the side with a glower of his own.

“Have you seen Shiki-san?” Toudai asked Akabayashi. “Have you seen any townsfolk in the forest?”

“Yes, I saw Shiki-no-dono on the outskirts of the forest. It seems as if he is patrolling. We will go down to visit him once we're done.”

Toudai nodded. “So, shall we?”

“Yes, come with me.”

“Wait, PowPow.” Rubi looked back at him. “You're not really going to show him the Sacred Cave, are you?”

“But, of course. It's for the best.”

“How is this for the best?! If it was better for the zanazek's to know about them, then we should have shared it with them before!”

 _ **'Know about**_ them _ **?'**_ Toudai thought in question.

“There was no hope before.” Akabayashi stated. “It was very obvious they didn't want to come to terms with us. However, if they are willing to accept Roppi and even send one of their own to us, we may be able to finally end this terrible way of living.”

“We wouldn't have to live this terrible way if we just took out the human settlement.” Another voice said.

They all looked over at the senpai Rubi had been talking to before, the one who had yelled at Rubi last night. He was glowering at Toudai, then he glared at Akabayashi.

“We can't do such a terrible thing.” The golden Heartstone in the sand-colored tunic said, “They have rookery-kin's and thainkirins to protect and look after.”

“We also have rookery-kin's and thainkirin's to look after!” Another Heartstone called. “How many thainkirin's have had their minlir's stolen?! What justice are we providing them?!”

“Making this peace is an insult to everyone who had lost their minlir's!”

“So, the next generations have to suffer for the sake of the older?” Toudai stated, looking at them calmly. “Would you rather our tradition continue so that the older generation will not get insulted?”

The Heartstone's eyes widened in rage.

“How dare you?!”

“You have no right to talk here!”

“You're just a filthy zazanek! You don't know anything!”

“Nothing you say will ever change what you zazanek's have done!”

“You don't deserve to be here! To spend the night within our camp!”

“That zazanek does not deserve to be here, Òmgotis!”

“It doesn't deserve to see the Sacred Cave!”

“You're betraying us and the kúrono's by doing this! You're not fit to lead!”

“Who the hell are you to say PowPow isn't fit to lead?!” Rubi yelled. “PowPow's doing this for all of us!”

“Do you lot _want_ to continue having this altercation with the human settlement?”

“Whether we like it or not, the human's are here to stay! We can't get rid of them!”

“We can if the kúrono's would get involved!”

“If they wanted to get involved, they would have by now!”

“That's not fair! We protect this whole mountain range, we protect their cave, and they leave us to suffer like this!”

“What are we even fighting for?!”

“We're not even fighting! We're just suffering! All for what?!”

“You can't wish to go against the kúrono's!”

“We can't hate the world just because of a terrible group of humans!”

“We should just take out the settlement!”

“There's no way we can do that! They have better weapons than us!”

“There's more of them than us too! We wouldn't stand a chance!”

“We have to do something to make this end!”

“We are doing something!” Rubi yelled. “Roppi's doing something! If things go the way they plan, the humans will end this bullshit _tradition_ of theirs!”

“Like that half-breed will be able to do anything for us!”

“Roppi has done more for the clan than you have, you zazanek!”

“Who are you calling a zazanek?! You're only defending that half-breed because they let you fuck them!”

“Are you an idiot?! I don't have their minlir!”

“You don't have to have their minlir to stuff their hanablav!”

An extremely loud screech left Rubi's throat, loud and piercing and made everyone's ears ring. Another screech resounded from the Heartstone Rubi was yelling out. Toudai covered his ears, cringing in pain.

A second pair of hands came over his ears. He opened his eyes and looked over to see it was Akabayashi protecting him. The leader then opened his mouth as well, another screech tearing through the air. It overpowered Rubi and the other Heartstone's banshee wails. Everyone covered their ears.

Akabayashi's screech didn't last very long. It was just to silence everyone. With that, Akabayashi took his hands off Toudai's ears. The doctor lowered his own hands as well.

“We cannot leave the mountain range.” Akabayashi said. “The Root Clan has been protecting this area long before the humans came, and we shall continue to protect it long after they are gone. We must protect the kúrono's. If there are any who disagree with this, you is welcome to leave. However, we have a chance of peace before us. Regardless of how you may view half-breeds, Hachimenroppi is paving a way of everlasting peace for us and the coming generations. This is our chance to end it all.”

“We're putting the fate of our young into the hands of a half-breed?”

“Has Roppi not proven themselves an able member of the clan? Have they not been a prominent xalaj, second only to Rubi? They provided for us and done everything they possibly could to protect us, even going so far to do as they are doing now.”

“So we're going to reward them for choosing a human mate?!”

“Is there a reason why we shouldn't? If their union with a human can put an end to the human's traditions, we should respect them for their sacrifice.”

 _ **'That makes it sound like marrying Tsukishima is a great burden.'**_ Toudai decided not to say that thought aloud.

“You make it sound like they chose that human for the sake of the clan!” The Heartstone yelled. “But didn't they just abandon us for a human?!”

“I _told_ you last night!” Rubi screamed. “They're going to prove to the humans that we can breed together! And by doing that, the humans are going to end their tradition!”

“Of course we can breed together! Why wouldn't we be able to!”

“Because they have a thing called gender!”

“Might I state,” Toudai said to gain their attention. They all looked at him. “That all creatures have gender. Heartst—er, Coravak's are the only species I've ever come across that don't have multiple genders. All animals that I know of have two genders. Deer, squirrels, bears, boars. They all have a woman, who can be impregnated, and a man, who can impregnate. I know now that you Coravak's only have one gender, which is male, and can get impregnated like a woman. But that is not the norm of most creatures on this world.”

“How do you know a rookery-kin will be a ninemil?”

“They are born with different parts. They do not have a penis or scrotums like what men have.”

“What do they have then?!”

“A vagina.”

“What is that?!”

“I do not have the means to show you. However, I have anatomy books that can show you what it is. If I'm allowed to return home, I will bring them back to you.”

“You are allowed to return home without question.” Akabayashi said. “Although, you _do_ have the means to show them.”

“No, absolutely not.” Toudai didn't need to try and decipher what he was implying so his response was immediate as he looked back at the red harpy with a glower. “I will not do that.”

“It would be for educational purposes.”

“I must decline.” _**'If I were to do something like that, it would be acknowledging I'm a woman. I can't do that.'**_

“Understood.” Akabayashi said. “It was merely a suggestion.”

“My apologies, but I must decline.”

Akabayashi patted his back, looking back at the clanmates in the clearing. “Our zizimok is different than humans. Not many humans have ever come to the conclusion that we can breed with them because of our 'gender'.”

The Heartstone glowered, then he cast his gaze to the ground.

“There's a lot we don't know about your species.” Toudai said. “Nor do we fully know why this tradition started. All we truly know is that our young men are raised to believe rape is normal, so long as it is a Heartstone—which should not be the case. The sooner this tradition ends, the better off both your clan and our town will be.”

“You think one child can just sweep everything into the bramble and let bygones be bygones?” the aggressive Heartstone growled.

“No, I don't. I don't think any of my fellow townsfolk do either. But at least your clan can live in peace doing as you will.”

“That's not good enough!”

“It is better than nothing.” Akabayashi stated. “We will have a full discussion about this later. Rubi, Hibiya, Fuyu, Wakamaru, Jiyoto, we'll be heading to the Sacred Cave.”

* * *

Akabayashi landed on the edge of beautiful pool of water, the sky reflecting off the surface it was so clear. Toudai, who had his arms wrapped around Akabayashi's neck and had been hugging his back close, let the red Heartstone go. The rest of the Heartstone's landed behind them.

Akabayashi put his arm around Toudai and held him close.

“Remain here.” Akabayashi looked over his shoulder at the other.

Rubi glowered, crossing his arms and slouching on one hip, but he didn't say anything. Akabayashi guided Toudai around the water, where the beautiful pool disappeared into a cave, ominous and foreboding. It was certainly a contrast to each other. Toudai wasn't sure he wanted to go into that cave. What was waiting for him in there? What could possibly be so important that a clan of monsters would remain despite repeated sexual assaults over five generations? Was it some kind of mighty beast?

Obviously it was something 'sacred'. It was the most important to them, surely more important than their chastity so it had to be a good reason.

Akabayashi guided him in. The temperature immediately changed. The red harpy ruffled his feathers from the cold, tightening the bear pelt around him. Toudai crossed his arms to keep his chest warm.

“Hello, little red heart.” A voice echoed from the cave.

Toudai jolted, looking around by saw nothing within the dark depths of the cavern.

“You brought something different with you.”

“Yes,” Akabayashi said, “A resident from the town at the base of the mountain.”

“Hm? Have you and the humans finally come to terms?”

“I do not believe that what our town was doing is something to come to terms with.” Toudai stated.

Akabayashi squeezed Toudai's arm. The doctor looked up at him. It was certainly dark, but they were close enough so that some light shined on him. Toudai could barely tell that Akabayashi was looked at him with a stern stare of warning.

“Oh? I guess that is true.”

A tail, long, tapering and lined with six rows of spikes on either side that got longer as it went further up slunk out from behind a cave wall. It was a light gray color with a yellow stripe straight down the back of it. It flicked at them awkwardly, unable to bend where the spikes were so the entire end of the tail flicked..

“Come closer, child. Let me get a better look at you.”

Toudai did _not_ want to do that. He didn't like this. Something was wrong about this. However, Akabayashi gave Toudai a soft shove to go forward. He looked at the red harpy then at the strange tail. He smiled nervously.

“You're not going to eat me, are you?” Toudai asked.

A hearty chuckle came from within the cave. “That depends on you, I would think.”

_**'Oh, I don't like that.'** _

“Come, child.”

Toudai hesitated. Akabayashi gave him another soft shove. The doctor looked back at the harpy. He nodded for him to go on. Toudai looked back at the strange tail. He then inhaled, exhaled and steeled himself.

Toudai stepped forward.


	8. Chapter 7

Akabayashi landed in a clearing close to the town. They had flown over the houses, landing on a few of them, to gain the attentions of those who were looking. They then landed on the Kaikyo house, spotting Roppi from the window, then went back into the forest. The other Heartstone's landed behind them.

They waited. Toudai separated himself from Akabayashi and sat down in the grass. Rubi walked over and sat down next to him. The two shared a glower, although Toudai was slightly confused as to why the white harpy chose to sit there. The raven didn't feel like talking, so he didn't. He looked down at the grass and began pulling at the greenery.

Toudai never would have imagined such a thing lived at the top of the mountain. He didn't think something... _someone_ that important was hiding in a cave. Now he understood why the Heartstone's were so adamant about staying, despite everything.

_**'Such an amazing man. He knew so much about me just from one taste...'** _

Toudai's eyes narrowed. His hand reached up to touch the junction on his neck and shoulder. The place where the strange man had cut him to taste his blood had healed completely. He hadn't understood what the man wanted from him. But he had cut Toudai, pressed his tongue to the wound, then poured water on it, in which it then healed. After that, the man knew so much about Toudai—every secret, every thing he couldn't say but wanted to.

Such an exposure had scared Toudai greatly.

The bushes rustled across the clearing. They all looked up. Stepping into the clearing was Shiki, followed by Tsugaru, Tsuki, Delic, and Roppi.

Delic's eyes widened. Toudai noticed that instantly. He followed the blonde's gaze and saw he was looking at the golden Heartstone, who was smiling happily. Looking back at Delic, it was obvious the feathers on the blonde's hairpiece cords—proof that he did his Masculine-Cue—matched that Heartstone's.

Toudai decided not to mention anything.

Instead, before anyone could say anything, he stood and brushed the grass off his rump.

“If you don't mind, I'd like to go home.” Toudai looked back at Akabayashi.

“Of course.” The harpy waved his red wing for Toudai to go on.

Rubi stood as well. Toudai looked at him. He wondered if the white harpy was going to go with him, but didn't bother to ask. Rubi turned to his father and began talking to him in their language. While he did that, Toudai walked away from the Heartstone's, heading towards the humans. In a few seconds, he heard Rubi following him. Once Toudaimoto was close enough, Shiki touched his arm to make him pause.

“How was your stay?” Shiki asked.

Toudai looked at him. Then he glanced to the side.

“It was...enlightening.” The doctor said.

Toudai walked past. Tsugaru rushed over before the doctor could leave the clearing.

“What happened?” the blond asked.

“...Nothing to worry about. Just...a lot to process.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm fine.” Toudai smiled at him. “I'm alright, Tsugaru.”

The blond didn't look convinced. He looked at Rubi with a glower. The harpy glowered right back, then shrugged.

“I'll talk to you in a bit, alright?” Toudai patted Tsugaru's shoulder.

“...Yes, I'll stop by once we're done here.”

Toudai nodded. The doctor then went on his merry way back to town.

* * *

As soon as Toudai walked into the door, Shiro ran up meowing furiously.

“Hey, baby!” Toudai knelt down and put his arms out towards the cat.

Shiro climbed into his arms, clawing at his chest. Toudai picked him up and hugged him close.

“Hello, baby.” Toudai kissed the kitty's head, scratching behind his ears. “I know, I was gone for so long.”

“Does he always do that?” Rubi asked.

“All the time.” Toudai said. “I try not to leave very long cuz he gets lonely quickly.”

“I wonder if you're the one who gets lonely and your cat just wants to make you feel better.”

Toudai glowered. “I can't wait for the day you sit down on the couch and Shiro goes for your tail feathers.”

“How rude.” Rubi glowered back. “I was just making an observation.”

“Mm.” Toudai let out a heavy sigh before flopping down on the couch on his back, his cat sitting on his chest.

“Are you sure it was okay to leave PowPow to talk to that Shiki?”

“Yeah, it's fine.” Toudai used both hand to rub either side of Shiro's face. “They're just going to talk boring politics.”

“Isn't it important for us to listen to that?”

“I don't really see why we would need to—or at least _I_ don't need to. Tsugaru will inform us when he comes over later. There isn't much we can do right now until Roppi has the baby. How long are your guys' pregnancies?”

“We usually lay an egg at four weeks. After that, it take about four to five months for the egg to hatch.”

Toudai nodded. “It typically takes between eight to ten months for a human to birth their baby.”

“What does that mean for Roppi?”

“I don't really know. I could take a guess that maybe it'll be a six or seven month pregnancy. Or maybe he'll have a human pregnancy. You said an individual named Psyche birthed a half-breed, right?”

“Yeah, but that was about five years ago.”

“Have you had a pregnancy since?”

“No.”

“But there have certainly been other Masculine-Cue's in the last five years.”

“Then they must have failed because no one's lost a minlir since Psyche. Or at the very least, they didn't get pregnant. After all, we only found out Psyche was pregnant because he had his purge.”

“The purge?”

“The thing that happened to Roppi with the bloody eggs.”

“Ah.” Toudai looked back at the cat. “Well, I don't really pay attention to who does their Masculine-Cue's. That's probably a conversation for Shiki-san.”

“Why him?”

“Anyone who does their Masculine-Cue has to talk to Shiki first. He'll give them the proper tools to catch a Hea—Coravak. Whether they succeed or fail, they need to report back to Shiki-san. If they succeed, Shiki will give them their cord so they can make their hairpiece with the Coravak's feathers.”

“Oh, really? So, you steal our feathers after you rape us?”

Toudai looked at him. “It's just proof they finished their Masculine-Cue. Shiki's the only one who has the cords.”

“I'm sure others can make them.”

“I'm not sure how. The cords can't be burned, torn, or frayed. Only the mayor knows the secret to make the cord.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hm.” Toudai nodded.

Rubi walked over. The doctor looked at him before bringing his feet back, so the harpy could sit on the couch. Rubi did so.

“So, I have a question.”

“Hm?” Toudai looked at him.

“Is sex sacred for you humans or is it nothing but a fun time?”

“...It should be sacred, but in this day and age, it all depends on who you talk to. It's certainly sacred when it comes to the Masculine-Cue. They have to prove they're a man by getting a Hear—Coravak brand.”

“How does that prove they're a man?”

“Because it shows that they're able to hunt and take down a monster so effectively to lay with one. It's not normal to injure the Coravak, cuz it's supposed to be a catch and release. What's more, they're able to 'perform' under pressure.”

“Every time we talk about this, I get pissed off. There's no justification for rape, but the idea that, so long as it's a monster, makes it okay. And then you talk like you're hunting game, 'catch and release'. Fucking barbaric.”

“I'm aware. Again, I don't know how this tradition started. That is a question for Shiki-san.”

“Hm.” Rubi turned to him, resting his head on Toudai's knee. “Let's talk about something else then.”

Toudai looked at him. He felt as if he should put the Heartstone away. He was acting to familiar with that touch. But that required effort to be annoyed, and honestly, he didn't mind the touch. A little physical contact wasn't bad every once in a while, right?

“What do you want to talk about?” Toudai asked.

The white harpy made the 'I-don't-know' noise and shrugged. “What did the kúrono's say to you?”

Toudai stiffened. “He...said...a lot of things.”

“Was there only one?”

Toudai jolted. “Was there supposed to be more than one?”

“Yeah, there's two of them.”

Toudai was quiet for a moment. “I only...saw one.”

“Hm. Well, that's fine. I've only seen the second one once.”

“...What does the other one look like?”

“He's red and white with white hair.”

“...Hm.” Toudai sat up, letting his cat roll down to rest on his lap. Shiro didn't like the shift and decided to jump onto the back of the couch. “What were they?”

“Beings above man and monster, that's all I know.”

Toudai didn't say anything.

“What did he say to you?” Rubi asked.

Toudai was quiet, thinking back on what that strange man had said.

“ _The Coravak's are gentle creatures, and extremely loyal.”_

“ _We can't do anything more to help them.”_

“ _You can't live your life in fear. It is_ you're _life, after all.”_

“ _There is nothing we can do about your curse. It is something cast upon you by a being above us. However, there are always loopholes to curses."_

“ _Just live, young girl. Live and be happy. It's the only way you can beat this curse that bastard placed on you.”_

Toudai leaned over and gave his cat a kiss on the side. Shiro twitched but didn't move. “Nothing really important. Just a lot of cryptic things.”

“...Alright.” Rubi shrugged.

Toudai slumped against the cushions.

“How about you and that Tsugaru guy. What's the story behind you two?”

Toudai just stared at him. “I don't know. What about you and Roppi? Is it possible you two were more than unrequited love?”

Rubi glowered. Then he looked to the side. “It's not true, the shit Hoshimoto was screaming. Roppi and I never had sex. I wanted to be Roppi's ninepow, but he didn't want that. He took what I said the wrong way.”

“Obviously, from what he said.”

“But I didn't mean it like that.”

_**'Well, your way of talking didn't help that at all.'** _

“Do you love him?” Toudai asked.

Rubi looked at him. “We don't mate based on love. We mate based on looks.”

“Oh, so your attraction to him was only superficial anyway.”

Rubi glowered.

“Or was it not?”

Rubi grumbled, then glanced to the side. “I did love him, alright?”

“Did? Or still do?”

Rubi's brows furrowed. He then let out a heavy sigh. “What about you? Do you like that Tsugaru guy? Because he sure likes you.”

Toudai didn't answer. Instead he rolled over on his side.

“So, what? Not gonna talk about it?” Rubi said.

“It doesn't matter. It can't happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's complicated.”

“Does it have to do with your gender thing?”

“...Yeah.”

“Wait, I don't get that. You can't fall in love because you have to be a man? Do men not love?”

“No, that's not it. I just...”

Toudai let out a sigh.

“It's complicated...”

“Is that your answer to everything?”

Toudai glowered at him.

“Nah, it's fine.” Rubi said. “Everyone has their secrets.”

Toudai let out a sigh. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not pushing the matter.”

“...Well, I don't particularly like getting pushed to talk about things I don't want to talk about. So, you know...”

Toudai chuckled. Then he pushed himself up. “I'm hungry. Do you wish to eat?”

“Yeah, sure. You didn't eat this morning, did you?” Rubi stood as well.

“No, I don't usually eat in the morning. It makes me nauseous, so I need to wait.” Toudai walked into the kitchen.

“No wonder you're so scrawny.” Rubi followed. “You need to eat more. You'll be nothing but skin and bones.”

“I think I have plenty of meat on my bones.”

“Not from what I saw yesterday. When PowPow lifted your shirt. Your stomach was caved in.”

Toudai glowered. _**'Well, I don't want to get too pudgy. No one wants a muffin top...Ah, but, maybe that's just a feminine thought process? Do guys worry about flat stomachs? No, obviously they don't. I've seen plenty of pudgy men walk around with no shirt on. They obviously don't care. Maybe it would be best to gain some weigh. It'll make me look more manly, won't it?'**_

Toudai let out a sigh.

_**'Ah, whatever. I like my physique. So, it's fine.'** _

“What would you like to eat?

* * *

7 o'clock rolled around. The Heartstone and the doctor were sitting on the couch, watching TV. Rubi had certainly never seen a TV before, but he was happily impressed with the black and white images that flashed across the screen. While Rubi divulged in the show, Toudai grabbed his blank book and began writing again.

At 7:12 there was a knock at the door. Toudai and Rubi shared a look before they both stood. Rubi went down the hall while Toudai turned off the TV and put his book down on the coffee table. The doctor stopped by the mirror on the wall. He made sure his hair was in order, that he didn't have any blemishes or marks on his face. Once he thought he looked decent, he went to the door.

Upon opening it, he was surprised and disappointed to see Shiki. Toudai obviously didn't hide his feelings well as the mayor cocked a brow.

“Were you expecting someone else?” Shiki asked.

“Ah, well...Tsugaru said he would be stopping by.”

Shiki nodded. “I don't know if he still plans to. He went straight home after our meeting.”

Toudai was hurt by that. Did Tsugaru forget about what he promised? Was Toudai so forgettable to the blond? However, he crushed all that down, smiling softly.

“It took you guys a long time to get done.” The raven said, “Did you have a lot to talk about?”

“No. The leader, Akabayashi, wanted us to see something.”

Toudai cocked his head in confusion.

“He said he showed you earlier. The people on the mountain.”

Toudai's eyes widened.

“Apparently, the yellow one asked to see us, so Akabayashi guided us up.”

_**'...I don't remember him saying anything like that. Ah, but wait...'** _

Toudai recalled leaving the cave, lost in his own thoughts of what he had just come across and the conversation he had. But if he stopped to think about it, Akabayashi didn't follow after him immediately.

_**'Maybe that was when? I don't really recall.'** _

Although, Toudai questioned why Akabayashi would bring them up the mountain when those people were the reason the Heartstone's were staying. He understood why he brought Toudai, but to bring a group of four humans up there seemed to go against their desire to protect those people. However, the doctor decided not to worry about it.

“Why did he want to see you?” Toudai asked.

“There was a lot to discuss.” Shiki stated. “Although, that's not why I came here. I just wanted to let you know that Akabayashi gave his permission for Rubi to stay here.”

Toudai nodded. He could have figured since Rubi was with him and since Rubi talked to Akabayashi before they left.

“He'll be under your care during his time here. Don't let him go out unsupervised.”

“I won't.” Toudai bowed slightly. “Would you like to come in for tea?”

“No, I want to go home, honestly.”

Toudai was relieved to hear that. He didn't want to make tea.

“It was a long journey, after all.” Toudai stated.

“Keep an eye on the Heartstone, alright?” Shiki patted Toudai's shoulder before turning away. “Have a good night, Kurashi-kun.”

“Good night.”

With that, Toudai closed the door. Knowing that he couldn't be seen at the moment, he let the smile fall as he deflated with disappointed. He let out a heavy sigh and rested his head against the door.

_**'Tsugaru said he would come over.'** _

“He knows.” Rubi growled.

Toudai jolted to his voice. He looked over at the Heartstone who stood in the kitchen.

_**'Did I say that aloud?'** _

“What are you on about?” Toudai asked.

“He knew about the kúrono's already.”

Toudai instantly relaxed. _**'Good, I didn't.'**_

“How could he possibly have known that?” The doctor turned and walked towards the couch. “And why are you—”

“He said 'people' on the mountain.” Rubi growled. “You said you only saw one. Which means the other one was hibernating still. The yellow one is super overprotective. He wouldn't have let anyone see the sleeping one. But he knew there was more than one.”

Toudai just stared at him. He had no argument for such an accusation. It certainly made sense.

“How the hell does he know about the kúrono's?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Toudai shrugged. “It's getting late. Let's go to bed. I'll prepare a bed for you.”

“How can you be so nonchalant about this?” Rubi glowered with clenched teeth.

“Because I am just a simple doctor.” Toudai walked past him. “I will leave politics to the politicians.”

Rubi growled, the ghoulish hiss creeping Toudai out once again. The doctor glowered at him. He was half-tempted to yell at him. He was already in a bad mood because of Tsugaru's forgetfulness—or chosen forgetfulness—and didn't want to deal with this spoiled man making him jump.

However, he didn't need to do that. He had to be calm and collective. Such a thing was petty and beneath him and in the end it wasn't worth it. The doctor let out a sigh.

“Let's just go to bed. Come, I'll show you your room.”


	9. Chapter 8

Toudai sat on the floor of the black abyss, naked and waiting. She didn't want to have this dream, but this dream she had, so all she could do was poise through it. Right on cue, hands curled around her neck and she felt the warmth of another body press against her back.

“Welcome back.” The man said.

“You're visiting quite frequently.” Toudai pointed out. “Has something peaked your interest?”

“But of course. I can't let another touch what is destined to be mine.” The man's arms trailed down to wrap around her chest.

“Oh, so you came to mark your territory?”

“I needn't do that. That child is nothing in comparison to I. However, it's best not to let either of you get to each other's head.”

“He didn't get to my head.”

“Oh? Then you didn't ask for his aide?”

Toudai's head was tilted back, forcing her to look up at the face she couldn't see. His arms unwrapped, the man's long nails trailed up her neck until it rested upon her bottom lip.

“From these lips, did you not say, 'If you know of my curse, then is it possible you can do something about it? Can you undo it?'”

Toudai glowered. She couldn't deny the accusation.

“You cannot escape from your birthright. Your fate was decided for you by your rebellious, reckless parents.”

“And what is my fate?”

“You already know the answer.”

Toudai glowered.

“However, that could all end. You would simply need to become mine.”

“No.”

The man went silent. If she could see his face, she would know he was glowering. But since she couldn't, she assumed that was the case.

“Even if it's a restricted life, it is still my life. I'm not going to give it up to become your property.”

The man was silent for a moment. Then he said, “As you wish.” And separated from Toudai.

She tilted her head back down, rubbing her neck.

“Just remember and never forget.” He said, “So long as you are a male, you will live contently. However, the moment you decide to be a female, you will be cursed to acts of unending suffering.”

“I know.”

“Then know that if you care for your loved ones, you will never tell them such.”

The man backed away into the shadows. The black engulfed his white flesh.

“Your love will be their doom.”

Toudai clenched her fists. “...I know.”

* * *

“Hey, do you want more of this coffee stuff?” Rubi asked.

Toudai nodded, not looking up from his book as he wrote. Rubi stood in front of the coffee pot, wearing a strapless, sleeveless crop top and a white kilt with a sash to hold it around his waist. The harpy man pulled up a chair across from Toudai, placing a mug of black coffee in front of him, and looked down at the book.

“What are you writing?” Rubi asked.

“A story.” Toudai stated.

“What kind of story?”

Toudai paused. Then looked up at him. “Why do you want to know?”

Rubi shrugged. “I'm just curious. Whenever you have a moment, you're going at the notebook like it's your life goal. I thought it was maybe a log on what you and I have been doing.”

Toudai chuckled. “I'm not that dedicated to researching on Shiki's behalf. No, it's just a story I've been writing. I'm challenging myself to do a different writing style.”

“Oh? What do you usually write?”

“Action novels, mostly. But this time, I'm trying to write a romance.”

“Oh? Pornographic or sensual?”

Toudai blushed. “Sensual! There are no...That is not something I've attempted to write yet.”

“Well, wouldn't that be a challenge, heh.”

Toudai glowered. “I'm surprised you even know what a book is. Do you have these in your clan?”

“Yeah, it's how we learn your language. We have a whole library of books.”

“And some of them are pornographic?”

“Yeah, but we don't let the rookery-kin's read those ones.”

“Okay good.”

Rubi nodded. He then leaned over a bit, looking down at the page.

“It's not done yet.” Toudai pulled his notebook closer to himself. “You shouldn't peak until it's finished.”

“Then does that mean I can read your finished work?”

Toudai hesitated. He certainly didn't think his finished work was very good—especially his first story! That was not something he wanted to share with anyone. Just looking at it was an embarrassment for Toudai. All the mistakes, all the uncouth changes in plot as he jumped from one idea to the next to the next. It was more of a train wreck than a novel and not something he wanted to share.

Luckily, Toudai didn't have to answer that question as he was saved by the bell. Or more so, by the knock at the door. They both perked to the noise and looked over at the front door.

Without a word, the two stood. Rubi went to the hallway to hide while Toudai went to the door. The doctor waited until Rubi was out of sight before he opened the door for his first patient of the day.

* * *

“Hey, I wanna see Roppi.” Rubi said, crossing his arms. “You're done with work, right?”

“Yes, give me a few more minutes.” Toudai said, looking down at a clipboard with papers on it. He was flipping through pages to scribble on them. “I need to look over some records really quick.”

“Records?”

“Medical records.” Toudai reached over and pulled a drawer out. “Yokomisu-san is having a strange reaction to her medication. She said she's not allergic to anything, but I'm questioning that.”

“Maybe her body can't handle the medication very well. Like, the plants just don't agree with her body. She's that thainkirin that just left, right?”

“Yes. It could entirely be possible. I'm thinking her immune system is no longer strong enough on its own. Which makes me worry that maybe she has an illness that hasn't shown systems yet. If that's the case, I will need to do many tests on her. So, I want to double check everything to avoid any needless stress on her and to make sure I'm not jumping to the worse conclusion.”

Rubi nodded. “You really care for your people, don't you?”

“Of course I do. I wouldn't be a doctor if I didn't.”

“Hm.” Rubi glanced to the side. “How long do you think it'll take you?”

“I'm thinking twenty minutes at the most.”

“Alright. I'll be in the living room then.”

“Mm-hm.” Toudai nodded.

Toudai heard the door close.

The doctor spent at least fifteen minutes going through Yokomisu's records. He wrote down notes and circled the components of the medicine that might be causing her nausea. Once he had a decent idea of what it might be, Toudai closed the files and put it on the desk.

He then stood and went to the door.

He entered the living room, where found Rubi where he said he would be. The harpy was sitting on the couch with a book in his hand. He looked like he was deeply concentrated as he had the side of his index finger pressed to his lips. The doctor debated not interrupting him. However, it was Rubi who said he wanted to go, so he should let him know he was done.

Toudai was about to ask what he was reading when he realized the book in Rubi's hands was a notebook. His eyes widened as a thought crossed his mind.

The doctor rushed over and looked at the book. Sure enough, it was his handwriting.

“Who gave you permission to read that?!” Toudai called.

Rubi jolted before looking up wide-eyed with genuine shock. “Do I need to ask permission to read a book?”

“It's my book!”

“Aren't all the books yours?”

“No, that's—! You know what I mean! I wrote that one! You can't just—”

“Well, I asked if I could read your finished ones and that's what I'm reading! Your unfinished one is still on the table!”

“But I never gave you permission to read my books!”

“What's the point of writing a book if no one reads it?”

“That isn't—!” Toudai clenched his teeth. He was far too flustered to think of a proper response to that.

“Why don't you want anyone to read it?” Rubi slipped a bookmark into his spot and closed the book. He put his arms over it, pinning it to his thighs, so the white harpy could give Toudai his undivided attention. “Is it personal or something?”

“Of course it's personal! I wrote it!”

“No, I mean...is it embarrassing or something?”

“Of course it is! My dad's the only one who's read them!”

“Well, that's a crying shame. It's really good so far.”

Toudai's eyes stretched wide. His whole body stiffened. His heart started beating faster as his face burned to his ears.

“Th-th-th-that...that...I mean...th-thank...you...”

Rubi smiled softly. “Your welcome.”

Toudai couldn't respond. He tilted his head down, his face burning. He didn't know if it was embarrassment, happiness, or bashfulness. All he really knew was he wanted to hide his face.

Toudai turned away. He glowered at the ground before walking forward. He walked around the back of the couch, refusing to look at Rubi, and grabbed his haori with the red diamonds on the sleeve from the coat rack. He put it on.

“I would like to talk Yosomisu-san before we head to the Kaikyo house.” Toudai stated, deciding to change the subject, “I need her to set an appointment with me for tomorrow.”

Rubi stood, putting the notebook on the coffee table. “Is that alright? Won't she be uncomfortable with me there?”

“Maybe. We won't stay long. I just need to talk to her. I'll make it quick.”

Rubi nodded. “Alright. If you say so.”

The white harpy walked over. Toudai looked at his attire. He was wearing the same thing he had wore hours ago—his sleeveless, neckless crop top and a white kilt that left his entire left side exposed and was only wrapped around his hip by a pink sash. Calling his shirt a crop top was being very generous. If anything, it was more like a strapless bra that lacked padding and had the wiring along the top to keep it up inside of under to hold up breasts.

“Did you bring any other clothes?” Toudai asked.

“Yeah, I brought a whole satchel, remember?”

Toudai didn't recall, honestly. The most he could remember about yesterday was the strange person in the mountain. He doesn't even remember what Rubi and him had argued about before they went to the cave. For all he knew, Rubi had a satchel on him and Toudai just couldn't remember.

“Do you have anything less revealing?” Toudai asked.

Rubi cocked a brow in confusion.

“You're showing a lot of skin, and you're also wearing a bra as a man. You'll already be drawing attention to yourself as you are, showing some sex appeal won't help.”

“Sex appeal?” Rubi looked down at himself. “I'm not trying to be sexual. Besides, what's a bra?”

“I'm sure you're not. However, think...well, if I were to dress like that, would you not find—no, never mind. That's not possible. If _Roppi_ was dressed like you're dressed, would you not find him alluring?”

“I always find him alluring. That's why I liked him.”

Toudai didn't respond. _**'...I guess that's true.'**_

“So, what's a bra? And why is it weird that I'm wearing one?”

“Because bra's are a woman's attire. It's used to give support to their breasts since they're heavy.”

“What are breasts?”

“Milk sacs, basically.”

“What's milk?”

Toudai glowered. He did not have the patience to explain everything that was common sense to humans. The raven let out a sigh and just shook his head.

“It's just not proper for a man to wear something like that.” Toudai stated.

“So it's alright if a 'woman' does?”

“Well, no. If a woman wore something like that, they'd be considered a whore. It's too provocative, but if a woman wore that, people wouldn't question.”

“Why is it provocative?” Rubi's voice became laced with irritation.

“Because it shows too much skin! It doesn't leave much to the imagination!”

“What do people need to imagine?!”

“Apparently nothing if you're only covering the important parts!”

“You—For fuck—Ugh!”

Rubi rubbed his hands over his face. He groaned in annoyance loudly. Toudai was also annoyed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

“Alright, here!”

Toudai looked up at him. Rubi was reaching behind him and began untying the laces of his bra-like crop top.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Toudai cocked a brow.

“Put this on. If you look sexual in it, then maybe I'll switch clothes.”

Toudai jolted as his ears burned anew. “What are you—how is that the logical way to figure this out?! I can't do that! That's so—wearing such provocative clothes as a man is—!”

“What do you mean? By your human standards, I'm a _man_ , yet I wear this.”

“B-b-but-but you wear that because of your feathers, right?! Because your feathers need to breathe! But I-I don't have feathers, so it's really—it's really not necessary for me to—”

“Here.” Rubi threw his bra crop top to Toudai. The doctor caught it with wide eyes and flailing hands. “Just put that on. Let me see what you see.”

“You could just look in a mirror!”

“But to me it's not _sexual_. Everyone in the clan wears clothes like this. It's like you said, our feathers need to breathe. So, I don't get what you're getting so upset about.”

“I'm not getting upset. I—”

“Just put it on!” Rubi grabbed the sash on his hip and began untying it.

“Kyaah, don't strip!”

“If you want me to get dressed, then hurry up and try it on.”

Toudai clenched his teeth. He did not like this man's constant ultimatums where Toudai is trapped in a corner. However, the raven had no clue how to get out of this without complying to him. Toudai clenched his teeth and looked at the bra.

_**'Won't this be me acknowledging I'm a woman by wearing something so provocative? Won't there be some repercussion for this?'** _

Toudai glowered.

_**'Make it quick. Just make it quick.'** _

Rubi untied his loincloth, spreading it wide and showing his complete naked form to Toudai. The raven blushed, gasped, and turned around quickly.

“You're so shameless!” Toudai called.

“Shameless? It's just nudity. I've got the same thing _you_ do, supposedly, so it's not like it's anything new.”

 _ **'It's not the same thing! I don't have...'**_ Toudai couldn't finish that thought. He realized he'd be acknowledging his gender if he did that. Instead, he just shook his head and let out a sigh. _**'Let's just get this over with quickly. Quickly!'**_

Toudai took off his coat and began unbuttoning his shirt. He debated going into the bedroom to get dressed, but that would take more time than it was worth. He was a man, after all, so taking off his shirt in front of another man wasn't weird. His chest and neck were bound anyway.

Toudai shrugged off his shirt.

“Why are you wearing bandages?” Rubi voiced, looking at his neck then his chest. “Are you injured?”

“Don't worry about it.”

Rubi didn't respond. Toudai put the crop top over his head and let it slip down until it was over his chest. He held it to his bandages with one hand while the other pulled the laces to tighten them. Once it was tight enough to stay up, he used both hands to tie the pink ribbons off. The bandages were still visible, as they were a bit higher and a bit under the length of the bra, but it covered what was important.

“Here.” Rubi said.

Toudai put his hand out behind him. The loincloth landed in his hand. Toudai draped it over his arm and went about taking off his pants. He had boxers on so he wasn't concerned. He let the jeans pool around his ankles then wrapped the loincloth around him. The drapery was bigger on him than on Rubi so the loincloth actually wrapped around him with no gap against his leg. Toudai adjusted it, folded it backwards and wrapping the sash the wrong way so it would pin the folded fabric to his skin. His left hip and thigh were exposed just like Rubi's had been.

Toudai turned around.

Rubi cocked a brow, arms crossed. Luckily, his feathers were hiding the entire front of his body.

 _ **'Is he doing that on purpose to censor himself?'**_ Toudai wondered. _ **'Or am I overthinking that?'**_

The raven didn't have the answer to that question, nor would he ask. Rubi looked at Toudai, his eyes taking in his form up and down, up and down. Toudai felt uncomfortable under that stare. It made his cheeks burn and his body feel warm. If Toudai didn't know any better, he would think it was making him feel _good_ , being inspected like that.

“That doesn't look very sexual.” Rubi said.

“Oh, come on!” Toudai growled. “I'm telling you, it's—”

“Well you're not showing the same amount of _skin_ I am! That red loincloth you have underneath is hiding your _sex appeal_!”

Toudai growled. “Oh, come on! Can't you be satisfied with this?!”

“It's not about satisfying me! It's about trying to understand each other! This isn't sexual _at ALL_! So why is it sexual when I wear it?!”

Toudai clenched his teeth. “I...! That...! I shouldn't have to...! Kh, FINE!”

Toudai turned back around. _**'Get it over with, quickly, quickly, quickly!'**_

Before he could think about what he was doing, he grabbed his underwear and let it drop to his ankles. He stepped out of them and even stripped off his socks in hopes _that_ would get the point across! He then reached up and pulled the ribbons loose. He let the crop top fall around his hips and grabbed the clasps holding the end of the bandage to the others.

He hesitated.

_**'Should I really be doing this? I mean, aren't I just being led by the nose? Is this some kind of manipulation? Am I being too easy right now? No, wait, I'm not a girl, so I don't have to worry about things like that. It's...nothing like that...He's not taking advantage of me. He can't take advantage of me. I'm a man, so I can't be in those kinds of situations.'** _

Toudai closed his eyes and inhaled. He exhaled all of his anxiety. Then he pulled the clasps out and worked his fingers under the wrappings. Quickly enough, they unraveled around him, falling to the floor. The pressure to his chest vanished. Toudai let out an exhale of relief to the freedom.

“Does it hurt to have that around you chest?” Rubi asked.

“Not that it...hurts, really. It's just really tight.”

“Can you breathe fine like that?”

“Yes.”

The last of the bandages came undone. Toudai let them drop to the floor, one arm wrapped around his breasts to hide from Rubi's view—although, Rubi couldn't see it anyway since his back was to him and his breasts were only B-cups. He lifted the crop top with his other arm. Once it was over his breasts, he moved his arm to pinned the bra to his chest. He repeated the same movements as before to tie it off until it was thoroughly on.

Once done, Toudai turned around, keeping his arms at his side. Rubi gazed upon him, taking in Toudai's entire form. The doctor glanced to the side as his cheeks burned again.

_**'Why does being looked at feel...good. I'm not into voyeurism, so why...?'** _

“Okay, I get it now.” Rubi stated. “You look damn good like that. Your waist is very small, it's quite attractive. Reminds me of Roppi.”

Toudai didn't like being compared to another person—especially in a sexual manner.

Rubi was still staring, still looking over his every inch. Toudai clenched his teeth and turned his head away.

“You can stop oogling now.” The raven growled.

“I don't hear you complaining.”

Toudai glared at him. “Aren't I complaining right now?!”

“Are you actually complaining? Or are you just becoming self-conscious?”

“There is no difference!”

“Of course there is.”

Toudai opened his mouth to respond.

However, he didn't get to say anything as there was a knock at the door. The two jolted and Toudai immediately wrapped his arms around himself.

Another knock sounded. “Toudai-kun. It's me, Tsugaru.”

The raven's eyes widened. Happiness filled his chest. Tsugaru finally came to see him! After forgetting about him yesterday, he was going to keep his promise! Oh, but then he was going to see Toudai wearing such scandalous clothes! Embarrassment and fear filled his chest.

Toudai took off the loincloth, fumbling with the tie for a moment until it came undone. He tossed it back to Rubi, who caught it. The blond's eyes immediately trailed to Toudai's genitalia, or the lack there of a certain type of genitalia. Rubi's eyes widened. Toudai didn't care at the moment. He had to hide his shame from Tsugaru quickly!

“Toudai-kun? Are you there?” Tsugaru nodded again.

“Yeah!” Toudai called, grabbing his pants. “Give us a moment!”

Toudai quickly pulled up his jeans and buttoned them shut. He didn't bother putting on his underwear. He didn't remotely have time to worry about that or to even put on his wrappings, so he just grabbed his shirt and quickly pulled it on. Rubi finished wrapping his loincloth on and quickly rushed down the hallway to the bedrooms. Toudai buttoned his shirt from the top and decided it was good enough at half done. Only his stomach was exposed so it was fine.

Toudai rushed to the entrance. With a lack of composure, he opened the door to look upon Tsugaru. The blonde's eyes widened to the rush motion. His eyes trailed down Toudai's form, taking in his sloppy attire.

“Is everything alright?” Tsugaru asked, concern lacing his face.

“Y-yes.” Toudai cleared his throat and brushed his hand through his hair. “Yes, it's alright. The Heartstone and I were just talking.”

“What were you talking about?”

“Nothing important.” Toudai bowed slightly. “Hello. Would you like to come in?”

“Of course.” Tsugaru smiled softly.

Toudai opened the door more, so the blond could step through.

“Pardon my intrusion.” Tsugaru stepped forward.

Toudai closed the door behind him while Tsugaru took off his geta's. Toudai smiled, looking at the blond with adoration since the blonde's back was to him. All the hurt and betrayal for Tsugaru having not come when he said he would just vanished from the mere sight of him.

“Where's the Heartstone?” Tsugaru asked.

“Hiding.” Toudai said. “We have an agreement that he'll stay out of sight from anyone that comes over. How was the negotiations with the Heartstone's yesterday?”

“It was...certainly interesting...”

Toudai walked past Tsugaru towards the kitchen. The blond followed him. Tsugaru looked down at the doctor's hand then up to his back. The doctor didn't notice, however, as he was more focused on leading the way.

“Would you like tea?” Toudai asked. “I have oolong.”

_**'Your favorite.'** _

“Oh, yes.” Tsugaru smiled. “I wouldn't mind.”

The two walked into the kitchen. Toudai already had hot water brewing, since he was waiting for Tsugaru to arrive. So, he simply put some oolong leaves into the tea strainer, put the strainer in the cup, then poured the hot water into the cup.

The two sat down at the dinner table. Toudai placed the cup in front of Tsugaru. He couldn't drink it yet, however, since it needed to brew for a few minutes, but Tsugaru put his hand around it anyway.

“So, what happened yesterday?” Toudai asked. “Has Shiki-san and Akabayashi-san come to an agreement?”

The wire scratched under Toudai's arm. The raven immediately stiffened when he realized what it was.

_**'I'm still wearing Rubi's bra!'** _

He was certainly still wearing the white bra-like crop top. However, he didn't let his sudden awareness show on his face. He couldn't let Tsugaru know he was wearing such a scandalous bra so he had to remain calm and composed, like he usually was. However, it was itching and starting to irritate his ribs. Toudai fidgeted, rubbing his biceps against the side of his chest slightly without trying to be obvious.

“Kind of.” Tsugaru glanced to the side. “Shiki-san explained what he was trying to do, to try and remove our Masculine-Cue tradition and he explained how it was going to be very difficult for him. While we went up to that...cave in the mountain, Akabayashi-san and Shiki-san traded a lot of information. I'm not sure what they talked about after that.”

“So, you went to the cave too? I thought Shiki-san was the only one...”

Tsugaru's brows furrowed. He then nodded. He held a solemn expression before looking back up at Toudai.

“Did you...” Tsugaru started, “Meet...that person in the cave as well? Is that why you didn't want to talk yesterday?”

Toudai nodded. “Yes, I...had a lot to think about after that conversation. I just wanted to go home.”

Tsugaru nodded.

“However, I did want to see you. But you didn't...” Toudai glanced to the side with a scowl. He shouldn't be showing this side of himself to Tsugaru.

“I'm sorry.” Tsugaru said.

“Did you...talk to him as well?”

“...Yes, I am truly sorry I did not come. Like you, I had a lot to think about after talking to him. He said...many interesting things. He knew...a lot about me despite that being our first meeting. I fully intended to come. It just...he had...I had a lot to process after the conversation with that man. He knew so much about me...”

“I understand. You don't need to justify yourself.” Toudai smiled warmly at him.

Tsugaru only gave a half smile back, guilt still prominent in his eyes.

“He knew a lot about me as well. It was...Honestly, it was a little scary. He even knew about my parents.”

Tsugaru's eyes widened. “Really? Even your mother?”

Toudai nodded. The wire scratched at him again. The raven rubbed his arm against his sides again as inconspicuously as he could.

“Not even I know about your parents.” The blond said.

“I know.”

_**'No one is supposed to know about my parents. That is a secret that should remain as is.'** _

“But I understand now why the Heartstone's don't want to leave the mountain,” Toudai said, “Even though they're fully aware of our tradition.”

“Yes, they have something to protect.”

Toudai nodded. “You know, if we pull our resources, we could also protect those people up there too. It would be better to work together than to live like this.”

“I think that is wishful thinking.” Tsugaru said in a much firmer tone. “There are five generations of violations between our village and their clan. Even if we come to a truce, there's certainly no way they could forgive us.”

“...Ah, yes, that is true. It would be nice though, don't you think?”

“You sound like Tsukishima.” Tsugaru looked a little irritated as his eyes narrowed. “It's just not realistic. I feel as if hoping for such a thing will only leave everyone sorely disappointed.”

“Well, not long ago, we didn't think it was realistic for the Heartstone's to bear children despite being males. Anything could happen at this point.”

“Toudai, that's...” Tsugaru let out a sigh of annoyance. “Do not bring this up to Tsukishima. I don't want you to encourage him.”

Toudai glowered. “And I feel as if you should believe in Tsukishima a bit more. He is trying to accomplish something that should be impossible. He is trying to tear down five generation's worth of history. The future is sticky and it will probably be rough, however, it is certainly bright. You should not be so negative.”

Tsugaru glowered.

The wire scratched under Toudai's arm once again. The raven fidgeted his shoulders as he wrapped an arm around his torso to be under his other bicep. He didn't want to make it obvious as he tugged on the bra a bit. However, Tsugaru certainly noticed.

“Are you sure you're okay?” The blond asked.

“Yes, I am fine.” Toudai smiled happily.

“Is it something the Heartstone did?”

“...Well...” Toudai glanced to the side. “It's nothing getting into. My conversation with the Heartstone just got a little heated, nothing more.”

“Is he bothering you?”

“No.” Toudai looked at him.

“If he is then we can take him back to the mountain.”

“No, it's okay. Truly. It was just a minor argument. We have two very different lifestyles, so we need to come to a compromise while he stays here. It'll just take time to get used to each other.”

“...I am still not certain about him staying with you.”

“Tsugaru, we talked about this.”

“I know we talked about this! But I still don't agree with any of it.”

Toudai immediately glowered. “Well, it's almost like you don't have any say in what I do or my decisions.”

“I feel as if I have some say in it.”

“No, you do not.”

“I do! Because I...!” Tsugaru clenched his teeth. “Now that your father's gone, you need someone to look out for you. I was respecting your independency because I like you, Toudai-kun, but you have to accept that sometimes you need a man's protection.”

“I don't need a man's protection when I am a man!” Toudai stood, pushing his chair back. “I don't need anyone to do anything on my behalf!”

“Even if you were a man,” Tsugaru also stood, “ it doesn't change the fact that you didn't do your Masculine-Cue! No matter how you look at it, you still don't have any authority to do whatever you want!”

“That's not what Shiki-san said! I am completely legal without the need for a guardian! I can do whatever the fuck I want and you have no right to tell me otherwise!”

“Toudai-kun! I'm just worried about you!”

“You have a funny way of showing it!”

“I...!” Tsugaru started to deflate, the anger leaving his expression. “I'm sorry.”

Toudai's eyes widened. He was honestly surprised at the sudden change in tone. He had seen Tsugaru angry plenty of times in the past. He never liked to show his brothers his temper, so he came to Toudai many times to gripe and complain. However, Toudai also knew that Tsugaru was the type to stew on his rage and to bear grudges. So, to hear him apologize so quickly was truly shocking.

“I know I have taken liberties with you for many years now.” Tsugaru stated. “I know I have said many things that were pompous and offensive to who you want to be.”

Toudai didn't know how to respond to such an apology. However, Tsugaru didn't wait for a response anyway as he reached across the table and gripped Toudai's hand. Toudai's eyes widened to the soft touch.

“I'm sorry for every wrong I had ever committed towards you. But it is...It's difficult, Toudai.”

Still holding Toudai's hand, Tsugaru walked around the table until they were standing before each other.

“I...You and I have obviously gone back many years now. We've shared a lot of things, and a lot of secrets. I...Have thought about asking for your hand in marriage many times.”

Toudai's eyes stretched wide.

“So, to hear you constantly say you're not a woman, that you will only live as a man...It hurts greatly to hear every time. I've always...wanted to love you properly. And I thought I could be selfless enough to remain silent. That I would be happy so long as you're happy. That I could be content with the decisions you've made and support you like that. But there's a part of me that knows I'm full of it to think like that.”

“Tsu...Tsugaru...” Toudai tried to take a step back.

Tsugaru simply followed him. His other hand gripped Toudai's bicep and pulled him close.

“Toudai, I want to be with you. As your support, as your lover, as your husband. I want to wake up with you everyday, I want to make you meals and bathe with you everyday. I want to grow old with you.”

“Th-this is so...sudden.” Toudai put a hand to Tsugaru's chest, tilting his head down. “You've never said this once before.”

“I know. I didn't have the courage before.”

“I haven't given you any reason to develop such courage!”

“I know. The person up the mountain did. We talked about many things. But one thing he said was how I have to be honest with myself. That I've waited so long and if I wait any longer, it'll pass me by.”

“But...Tsugaru...I can't—”

“Yes, we can.” Tsugaru leaned in close, his lips centimeters from Toudai's. His free hand brushed the hair from Toudai's face. “There's nothing stopping us now.”

“Tsugaru, you don't—”

Toudai's words came to an abrupt stop as Tsugaru's hand trailed up his back. His fingers rubbed against the ribbon knot of the crop top.

“I could see this through your shirt.” Tsugaru said. “I always thought you'd look nice in pink.”

Toudai's face burned. “Tsu-Tsuga...”

The blond fingered the buttons, unfastening them. Toudai didn't move. He didn't want to move. He wanted to let this happen. He wanted to let Tsugaru's love wash over him. Even though he knew he shouldn't—even though he knew he _couldn't—_ Toudai's heart was singing with happiness. To hear how much Tsugaru wanted to cherish him, to hear the bright future Tsugaru had fantasized and wanted for them. It was what Toudai had always wanted!

But with that happiness came fear. Fear that his curse would put an end to everything. Fear that his curse would put an end to _Tsugaru_. What if Tsugaru died, just like his father did, all because Toudai had wanted to be the blonde's woman? All because she wanted to acknowledge the part of her she couldn't acknowledge.

No, she... _he_ couldn't let this keep going. _He_ couldn't get swept away!

Ah, but that was so hard when she had the undivided attention from the man she loved.

Toudai's shirt came undone completely, exposing the bra over her breasts. Tsugaru looked at it with surprise. Then he smiled.

“Have you always worn such lovely undergarments, Toudai-chan?”

Toudai- _chan_. The female honorific. Toudai had never heard someone say her name like that, not even her own father.

“It looks beautiful.” Tsugaru said before leaning forward.

His soft lips pressed against Toudai's chest in a kiss. It was such a tender and sweet touch. Toudai tilted her head back. She was in complete bliss. To have this man's affection was all she could have ever asked for.

Tsugaru's hands came down to Toudai's pants. As he peppered Toudai's chest with kisses, his hands undid the button and zipper of her pants. With gentle caresses to her hips, the blond pushed the jeans down until they fell down on their own.

His hands trailed to Toudai's lower back, to her rump to grip the mounds of flesh. Toudai jolted to the touch, her hands coming up to grab his shoulders. She hadn't felt anyone touch her like that since this very person took her virginity when she was sixteen. She wasn't used to this kind of physical contact and it caught her by surprise.

“Tsu-Tsuga—” Toudai's words fell off into a gasp as she was lifted.

The blond put his hands under her rump properly and picked her up. He placed her on the dining table, some of the tea splashing onto the table when it shook. Neither cared as Tsugaru pulled her close, so that their crotches rubbed against each other.

“You're not wearing underwear.” Tsugaru voiced. “Were you trying to seduce me, Toudai-chan? Were you hoping I would find out about your undergarments—or the lack there of?”

Toudai blushed. “N-no! I—It wasn't like that! I was—we were—I—”

“ _We_ were?”

Toudai immediately stiffened, looking at him wide-eyed. She opened her mouth to respond, however, Tsugaru's glare silenced her. The annoyance and obvious anger was enough to shut her up.

Tsugaru spread Toudai's legs wide. He leaned forward, pushing his chest against Toudai's until she had to lean back on her elbows. The table legs screeched on the floor and more tea spilled. The blond began gyrating against her crotch. She could feel his bulge rubbing against her feminine folds. It felt amazing good for her. Her toes curled; her legs lifted up slightly.

“W-wait, wait, Tsugaru,” Toudai grabbed his blue haori with one hand, looking up at him with furrowed brows. “It wasn't like whatever you're thinking. We didn't do anything.”

“Because I interrupted.” Tsugaru's hands reached up and pushed the crop top up until her breasts were exposed. His fingers came over her pink nipples, which perked immediately to the touch.

“N-no, because we weren't doing anything to interrupt.” Toudai said quickly, “Rubi and I only ever argue and that's all it was.”

“An argument that caused you to lose your underwear and bandages in the living room.”

Toudai jolted.

“You didn't even try to hide them under the coffee table.”

“I-I didn't think about it. I was just in a rush to put my clothes back on.”

“ _Back_ on?!”

Tsugaru's fingers pinched Toudai's nipples. It made her call out in pain and she quickly let herself drop, pulling back from him. She swatted Tsugaru's hands away and crossed her arms over her chest in protection. The blond was glaring at her, but he quickly inhaled to calm whatever rage was building.

“Please, listen, it wasn't like that.” Toudai said.

“I'm listening.”

“I—We—Rubi was wearing provocative clothing. I was trying to explain to him that they were provocative, but he didn't think they were. The argument devolved until he told me to put on his clothes and maybe he could finally understand what I saw.”

“And?”

“...And...he agreed that when I wore the clothes, it was provocative. We were talking about his change in attire when you came over.”

“Did he see you naked?”

“No.” Toudai lied. She was certain Rubi saw her bare form while she was flailing to get her clothes on. But Tsugaru didn't need to know that. “He didn't see anything.”

Tsugaru glowered. Then he let out a heavy exhaled and tilted his head down. He kissed Toudai's chest then rested his forehead over the kiss.

“I don't know what I would do if it turned out you slept with that man.” Tsugaru said.

“...W-well, calm down. You and I aren't—”

“It doesn't matter if we are or aren't, Toudai!” Tsugaru grabbed her biceps tightly. “It's not like my feelings for you are going to change all because you have sex with someone else! It's still going to piss me off if you are with someone other than me!”

That did not sit well with Toudai. She glowered down at the blond.

“Last I recall, I am my own person.” Toudai said. “Whether you get pissed off or not is none of my concern. Who I am with is not for you to dictate.”

“But this is what I worry about, Toudai-chan. You're too defenseless. You sit there and think that just because you call yourself a man, that makes you a man, but it doesn't! If a monster could convince you to strip so easily, I can only imagine what would happen if someone wanted to rape you.”

“No one would be so bold. Shiki-san would have their heads.”

“If Shiki believes you.”

“Why wouldn't he? I am not the type to lie.”

“Rape cases are always he-said-she-said.”

“Do you think I am so depraved that I would lie about such a thing?! I am certain that Shiki-san has enough faith in me to know I would never ruin my honor for a lie.”

“That's not the point.”

“Then what is the point?” Toudai pushed on his shoulders.

“The point is, what would happen if such a thing happened and they didn't intend to let you tell anyone? To be raped and murdered...Whenever I think of such a situation happening to you, it keeps me awake at night with fear. It makes me what to come spend the night with you just so I know you'll be safe.”

“I'm plenty safe without you.”

“No, you're not! If Rubi could convince you so easily to strip for him, what if—”

“Rubi did _not_ convince me so _easily_! It was a heated discussion that escalated on both ends! I am not _easy_!”

“I didn't mean it like that.”

“Bullshit.” Toudai pushed on him again. “Get off of me.”

“...No.” Tsugaru kissed his chest again. “The idea that that monster convinced you at all to take off your clothes is—”

“Is _none_ of your business! What I do and who I do it with is not for you to dictate or do anything about! It is my decision and you have no right to question me!”

“I'm allowed to get jealous.” Tsugaru glared up at her.

“Not when you are on top of me, trying to pin me down!” Toudai's hand came against his chest, trying to push him away.

“I'm not trying to pin you down!” The blond didn't even budge.

“You say as you lay over me and twist my nipples.”

“I didn't mean to do either.”

“Bullshit!” Toudai grabbed her shirt and closed them over her chest. “You apologize for taking liberties with me in the past and yet here you are taking liberties again!”

“I—That is not what I meant when I said 'taking liberties'!” Tsugaru sat up straight, fixing his yukata to cover his underwear again. “Taking liberties in this kind of scenario is rape! Don't even attempt to spread such lies!”

“I'm not spreading anything!” Toudai sat up properly, closing her legs. “I am not coming to that kind of conclusion either! How dare you even assume I would do such a thing! I am saying you are angry at the idea of me laying with another and you're taking your aggression out on me!”

“I didn't mean to!”

“That does not change that you did! That truly hurt!”

“I...! I'm sorry.” Tsugaru's voice softened. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

Toudai didn't respond. She didn't feel like accepting that apology so quickly. Besides, the anger was letting her think clearly again.

 _ **'What am I doing?'**_ Toudai thought, turning her... _his_ head away and letting out a soft sigh. _**'I let myself get swept away.'**_

The words of the mystery man from his dreams rang clearly in his head.

“ _Then know that if you care for your loved ones, you will never tell them such.”_

_**'I know that and yet I still...'** _

Toudai pushed against Tsugaru's chest until he backed away. Once free to do so, he hopped off the table, bending down to grab his pants.

“Toudai-chan, wait.” Tsugaru started.

“It's Toudai- _kun_.” The doctor said. “And I will not wait. What just transpired was a mistake.”

Toudai looked up to see Tsugaru's reaction. The blond was staring at him in obvious pain. Such an expression on the face of the man he loved hurt him as well. But he couldn't go back on that statement. He couldn't let his curse doom Tsugaru too.

Toudai grabbed her pants and went about pulling them on.

“I'm sorry if I led you on, Tsugaru,” Toudai stated, “However, neither of us should have gone this far.”

“Toudai-kun, wait—okay.” Tsugaru grabbed the raven's arm. Toudai didn't let that stop him as he continued to pull her pants up and buttoned them close. “Okay, you're right. I'm sorry for getting ahead of myself. However, I meant what I said. I want to make a future with you.”

“I can't.”

“Can't or won't?”

“I won't!”

“Why?”

“Tsugaru, it's just not possible for us.”

“Why?!”

“A future for us is doomed from the start.”

“ _Why_?!”

“Because it is! You just don't understand.”

Tsugaru clenched his teeth. “I understand that your dad raised you a certain way. I don't know why, and I don't judge Diamond-san. I have nothing for respect for your father. But I also know that whatever that reason was doesn't matter anymore. Now that Diamond-san had passed on, you're free from his burdens.”

Toudai's eyes lit wide with rage. “How _dare_ you?!”

The raven slammed against Tsugaru's chest, pushing him away slightly.

“You do not get to say whatever you wish and make assumptions about my family! My father's decision to raise me as a boy was to save my life! To give me a future I wouldn't have had if I was a woman! To save me from a fate worse than death! And you have the audacity to say my father's decision was a burden?!”

Tsugaru's eyes widened.

“You understand nothing! And the fact that you have the audacity to assume you understand just shows what little right you have to be in my life!”

The blonde's expression twisted with pain. “No, Toudai-kun, I—”

“Get out.”

Tsugaru's brows furrowed.

“Get out and do not come back until I am ready to forgive you.”

“Toudai, please, let's talk about—”

“Get. Out. And do not come back until I am ready to forgive you.”

Tsugaru looked like he wanted to argue. He looked like he desperately wanted to try and come to terms with his argument. However, the blond conceded. With a look of defeat, he tilted his head down and nodded.

“Alright. I-I'm sorry. Please, excuse me.”

Tsugaru bowed slightly then turned away from Toudai. The blond went to the door, put on his geta's, and left the Kurashi house behind without another word.

Finally alone, Toudai left the rage seep away to sorrow. Sorrow that he had to reject Tsugaru and his honest feelings. After all these years of longing for him, Toudai had to let him go for his own good; for his own happy future that couldn't be ruined by Toudai's curse. He regretting having to do such a thing and it made the misery fester in his chest.

He felt sorrow for rejecting Tsugaru, and sorrow that Tsugaru had jumped to such a foul conclusion about Diamond's parenting and his decision to raise Toudai as a boy. To even say that Toudai was only continuing this way of living because of his father's burden.

Toudai growled. Then he sobbed as tears flooded his eyes. He brought his arm up to hide his eyes.

_**'Jeez, I'm so pathetic. Sitting here crying after I rejected him. Crying while I'm still so turned on and disheveled like this.'** _

Toudai clenched his teeth as he tilted his head down.

“...Hey.”

Rubi's voice drew his attention. The raven looked over his shoulder at him. The Heartstone was standing in the mouth of the hallway.

“Do you want some consoling?” Rubi asked. “Or do you want to be left alone?”

Toudai clenched his teeth. He was torn about what he should do. He wanted comfort, but at the same time, he didn't want anyone else to see him so pitiful. He contemplated the options before coming to a decision.

“I'd rather be left alone.” Toudai said.

Rubi nodded. “Alright. Um, you wanna go into your room then? You can lay down and have privacy.”

“...Yeah. Yeah, I wanna do that.”

With that, the two switched places. Toudai went down the hall while Rubi walked into the kitchen. They gave each other a wide girth until they were pass. Without a word, Toudai walked into his bed, closed the door, lied down on the bed, and just cried.


	10. Chapter 9

“Doc, the bath's ready.” Rubi said.

Toudai didn't move from his bed. He hadn't left his bedroom at all, not even to go to the bathroom. He just cried until he fell asleep. Now that he was awake, his eyes were certainly sore. He needed water and probably should take a bath, but he didn't want to move. He didn't have the energy or drive to move.

There was a knock on the door. “Doc? You still sleeping?”

Toudai didn't answer.

A moment later, the door creaked open. The yellow-white-and-pink feathered head poked in.

“Doc?” Rubi voiced.

“Hm?” Toudai groaned.

“Are you going to sleep for the rest of the night?” The harpy stepped in.

“Why not?”

“Well, it's not healthy to sleep so much. Oversleep is a thing.”

“I know.”

The white harpy hesitated before walking over. He sat down on the bed, his tail feathers rubbing against the blanket over Toudai's hip. Toudai looked at him. The harpy had a towel around his neck, but the raven couldn't see what he was wearing since his feathered arm hid everything.

“Are you naked?” Toudai asked.

Shiro trilled to the shift in the bed. He had been lying next to Toudai's face, letting the doctor rub his face to his fur for comfort. The cat shook his furry head then stood up. He stretched out his spine with a mighty yawn.

“No.” Rubi said. “I've got shorts on.”

Shiro walked over to the harpy. He trilled again to get Rubi's attention then rubbed himself against his arm. Rubi looked down at him. He then rubbed his finger under Shiro's chin. Toudai was nervous about that, due to his sharp talon, until he realized Rubi was rubbing the side of his finger against the feline's chin.

“You should probably wash your face.” Rubi said, looking at Toudai, “Your eyes are swollen.”

Toudai didn't answer. Rubi looked at him, then reached his hand out. Toudai closed his eyes. The harpy's soft thumb came over one of his eyelids.

“Your eye is super warm.” Rubi said.

“...Yeah.”

“You want some soft moss—or whatever you use—to cool your eyes?”

“...No, I'll get up and take that bath.”

Toudai let out a sigh as he sat up. Shiro trilled to the shift. He then left Rubi and went to Toudai for attention.

“You know,” Rubi said, “it's actually really cute. What's his name again?”

“Shiro.”

“Shiro, right. He's starting to grow on me.”

Toudai smiled. “That makes me happy, honestly. I'd rather we can all get along.”

Rubi nodded. “So, hey, I know how to make food on a fire. That stove thing fires up, right?”

“Yeah, the top does. Where did you learn to use fire?”

“Read it in a book.”

“Was it a cookbook?”

“Survival book. We don't use fire, for obvious reasons,” Rubi raised his feathered arm. “But we know how to make it. And we do have cookbooks, so I can whip up something that's edible.”

“...Alright, do what you want. Although, you should be cautious of your feathers.”

“I know. We have abaji—these metal things that clasp like hands.”

“I think you're talking about tongs. I have some in the drawers.”

“I brought some myself as well.”

Toudai was confused to hear that but he didn't question it. “Alright. Are you saying you want to make dinner?”

“Yeah, I'll make whatever you want. Although I don't know what you have.”

“There's beef slabs. I was going to cut them up to make broccoli beef.”

“Broccoli?”

“This green plant that looks like little trees. It's in the freezer in a see-through bag.”

“Do you have a recipe book?”

“Yeah, in the kitchen. Broccoli beef is on page 24 if you want to make that. But you can make what you want.”

“...Okay.”

“Seasoning, by the way, is salt, herbs, and spices. Make sure to season the food, so the meat will have flavor.”

Rubi looked confused by that.

“They're in little canisters on the back of the stove. Those little bottles.”

“...Okay.”

With that Rubi stood.

“Go hop in the bath before it gets cold.” The harpy stated as he walked out the door.

Toudai didn't respond. Rubi closed the door softly.

Finally alone, Toudai let out a heavy sigh.

_**'Ah, fuck. How could Tsugaru come to that conclusion? He's known Dad for years, yet he assumed, what? That Diamond never wanted a daughter, so he raised me a boy? Has he always thought so lowly of Dad?'** _

Toudai clenched his teeth. He tossed the blanket off, Shiro moving out of the way. The doctor stood.

“Come on, Shiro. Bath time.” Toudai patted his thigh.

The cat hopped off the bed and followed. The two left the bedroom and went left to the bathroom. Upon entering, Toudai saw a lot of feathers in front of the shower head. Most looked like downy feathers and soft plume feathers. They were pushed into a neat pile, so obviously Rubi tried to clean it up, but he left the pile there for some reason. Toudai would ask once he was done. The bath across the room was filled up with clear warm water.

The doctor went about taking off his clothes, putting them on the counter next to the sink. Completely naked, Toudai went past the bathtub to the water closet door. He went to the toilet to relieve his bladder, went back to the sink to wash his hands, then pulled out a small rag. He soaked it with cold water. Once done, he put it on the edge of the tub and went to the shower head. He turned it on.

He turned the water to hot with a little bit of cold. The scorching water washed over him but it was quite comforting. He sat down on the stool and began washing himself.

_**'Tsugaru liked Dad, so why would he think something so vile? Why would he assume it wasn't by choice to do as he did?'** _

Toudai closed his eyes and lathered up his hair with shampoo.

_**'Maybe I'm thinking about this too harshly. If Tsugaru loves me then it can't be that he hated Dad. After everything Dad did for him, there's no way Tsugaru hated him.'** _

He washed the suds off.

_**'He was certainly frustrated. If he loves me, then he would hate that I can't be a woman. We wouldn't be able to legally marry unless I accepted who I am.'** _

Finally clean, Toudai turned off the shower and turned to the bath. He walked over and wasted no time stepping into the bath. It was very warm and soothing. He seeped into the warm water, letting all of his stress escape him with a heavy exhale.

_**'It's for your own good, Tsugaru. If I become your wife, you'll just end up suffering a slow death like Dad did. The happy future you want for us is impossible if you choose me.'** _

Toudai looked at the small window above the bath. The window was too high for anyone to peep into the bathroom. He couldn't see anything since it was obviously dark out. That annoyed him a bit, since it reminded him of the abyss.

However, he didn't need to worry about that soon enough. Shiro meowed, putting his front paws on the edge of the tub. With little hesitation, the feline jumped up and slipped right into the water. His head tilted back, his ears folded down, and his eyes closed. His small head nearly went under the water, but Toudai quickly put his arm up under his front paws. He lifted the feline up. Shiro shook his head, flinging some water, then went about getting himself situated on Toudai's torso.

Soon enough, Shiro rested his head on Toudai's clavicle—which was out of the water—and the rest of his body was submerged. Toudai patted his butt, but made sure not to rest his hand on him. He didn't want Shiro to feel like he was being held under the water. Toudai tilted his head back to look at the ceiling.

_**'Ah, how am I ever going to be able to face Tsugaru after such an argument? He was wrong to think that, but he doesn't know anything else. We never told him. I never told him.'** _

“But he won't believe me, will he?” Toudai looked down at Shiro. “There's no way he'd actually believe I'm a fairy.”

Shiro meowed. Toudai chuckled and kissed his kitty's head. He then grabbed the cooling rag he left on the side of the tub and tilted his head back. He put the rag over his eyes, which made his sore orbs feel so much better.

“There's no way he'll believe anything I say. Besides, what will telling him do? It won't change my curse.”

“ _You can't live your life in fear. It is_ you're _life, after all.”_

“ _Just live, young girl. Live and be happy. It's the only way you can beat this curse that bastard placed on you.”_

Toudai glowered at the strange man's words echoed in his head.

“...Maybe I could...For a little bit? I don't know, Shiro, what do you think?”

The cat meowed.

“I know but...That person told me to live and be happy. And what would make me happy is to be with Tsugaru.”

Toudai let out a sigh.

“But if I'm with Tsugaru, he'll suffer and all I'll be able to do is watch him die.”

The raven's hand trailed down his hip.

“But I want him. I want him for his affection...For my sexual needs. For every part of my life, I want him, Shiro.”

Toudai could remember the sensation against his feminine folds. He could remember that heat that seeped through Tsugaru's clothes to his bare flesh. That intense rubbing that made his clitoris swell. He wish he could feel that. He wanted to feel that again. He wished he could have gone all the way with Tsugaru. If only Toudai hadn't mentioned what him and Rubi had been doing earlier.

There was a soft nip to the bottom of Toudai's chin. He jolted and quickly tilted his head down. The clothe came off his eyes but he caught it before it hit the hot water. Shiro licked his chin then nipped him again.

“Hey, stop that.” Toudai tilted his head to the side.

Shiro meowed at him.

“Yes, yes, I love you too.” Toudai kissed his head. “Don't bite me though. No teethy.”

Shiro meowed again.

“Do you want to get out? Is that it?”

Shiro meowed.

“Alright, alright, alright. Let's go.” Toudai tapped the side of the tub. “Out.”

Shiro put his front paws on the edge of the tub. Toudai put his hand underneath the cat's back feet and lifted him up. Shiro struggled with his front paws for a moment, since they slid against the porcelain, but with Toudai's help, he got out. He plopped down on the linoleum and shook out his pelt. Toudai sunk low under the water to get the cat hair off his chest. Once cleared away, he stood up. He unplugged the tub and got out.

Toudai pulled out two towels from the cupboard—one a full towel and the other a half-towel. He put the half-towel down on the ground for Shiro, who stepped on it and rolled in it. Toudai wrapped the towel around himself and began drying himself off.

_**'I wonder if Rubi burned dinner? I don't smell any smoke.'** _

Toudai ruffled the towel through his hair furiously until he was confident it was dry. He then brought the towel down his back to dry the last of his body. Once done, he wrapped the towel around his torso, tucking it so it wouldn't come undone, and knelt down to Shiro. He grabbed the ends of the half-towel and began rubbing Toudai's pelt. Shiro got off the towel so Toudai could properly grab it and began ruffling his pelt furiously.

Shiro meowed in protest but made no attempt to pull away. Toudai was very happy he taught Shiro to take a bath with him when he was a kitten's. He wasn't a fan of it back then, of course, since he was a cat. But Toudai eased him into it and, gradually, Shiro started liking baths too. Toudai made sure not to use soaps on his kitty, since cats cleaned themselves anyway and Toudai didn't want his kitty to lick anything that may be good for Toudai but toxic for Shiro. However, it wasn't like cats couldn't get into water.

Toudai rubbed his bare pelt against Shiro's pelt. The cat was mostly dry. Toudai took the towel away and put it on the counter.

“Alright, let's go.”

Toudai opened the bathroom door. Shiro rushed out and Toudai followed. The doctor went into the bedroom and put on some clothes. He didn't really want to put on pants so he just put on a pair of boxers. He then grabbed a tanktop and put it on.

It crossed his mind that he may need to dress conservatively around Rubi, but at the same time, the harpy never dressed conservatively, so why did it matter? Once dressed, Toudai left and went to the living room. Shiro ran up to his scratching post, which was on the precipice of the kitchen and living room, and began rubbing himself against it. His pupils grew big with excitement as he rubbed and rubbed. Then he grabbed it, wrapping his body around the post, and began attacking it with rabbit kicks and bites.

“Ferocious little thing, isn't he?” Rubi chuckled.

Toudai looked over at the harpy. He was standing a few inches away from the stove, using the tongs to turn the meat over.

“How's it coming?” Toudai asked, walking over.

“The instructions said to steam the broccoli so I boiled some water, but I'm not sure what do from their.”

“Here, use this.”

Toudai knelt down and opened a cabinet. He grabbed a metal strainer meant for vegetables and grabbed the lid to the pot. He put the strainer in, the legs keeping the metal bowl of the strainer from getting into the water. He then took the bag of broccoli, which Rubi had pulled out and left on the counter, and poured some into the strainer. He then closed the metal grates that folded over it.

“It'll steam like that for five minutes.” Toudai said.

“Okay, thanks.” Rubi said. “I don't know how to cook that rice stuff.”

“I don't have rice. I don't particularly like it, since it's bland unless you use soy sauce and I don't like soy sauce.”

“Oh. The recipe says rice.”

“Yeah, but we can always change it.” Toudai went to the top cupboard and pulled out a paper bag. “Here. These are pan-fried noodles. I like these instead.”

“Okay. How do I make that?”

“With this.” Toudai went around Rubi to the other side and grabbed the cupboard door under the counter. He grabbed the wok and pulled it out.

“So, I'll cook this since I need to use the back two burners.” Toudai said, “I don't want your feathers to catch fire.”

“Thanks.” Rubi chuckled.

Toudai turned on the burner. The propane clicked a few times until a ring of blue flames plumed. He put the wok on top of it and grabbed the glass bottle of oil.

“You're dressed differently.” Rubi stated. “Showing a lot of skin there.”

“Well, I'm in my own home. I don't need to cover up.”

“...So, I can wear my 'provocative' clothes here, but not outside?”

Toudai poured some oil into the wok and swirled it around. “...You know what, you can wear what you want. I don't care anymore.”

_**'If we didn't have that argument, then that fight with Tsugaru wouldn't have happened.'** _

“...Are you still upset about today?” Rubi asked.

“Of course I am.”

Rubi didn't respond. Then he let out a heavy sigh. “Look, how was I supposed to know that my clothes would have an affect on your friend? Everyone wears those kinds of clothes in the clan, so I didn't know it made your men unable to control themselves.”

“I don't want to talk about this.” Toudai said. “I'm trying to destress and forget the whole situation.”

Toudai unfolded the paper bag and tilted it into the wok. A bundle of dry noodles poured forth. They began to sizzle in the pan immediately.

“Wouldn't you want to come to terms with the situation?” Rubi asked.

“Coming to terms won't change it.”

“You don't plan to make up with him?”

“...It's better this way.” Toudai opened the drawer and pulled out a wooden spoon to stir the noodles. “If he tries to love me, he's just dooming himself.”

“Why?”

“That's none of your business.”

“Isn't it? I'm staying with you, so won't I be doomed?”

Toudai looked at him. _**'So long as I don't acknowledge I'm a girl.'**_

“You'll be fine. You're exempted.” That was a lie, but Toudai didn't feel like playing twenty questions with him.

“Because I'm not human?” Rubi asked.

“Yup.”

“Is that because you're a monster?”

Toudai glowered. “I'm not a monster. If anything, it's because you're a monster.”

“Alright, alright.” Rubi rolled his eyes.

Toudai let out a sigh. He stirred the noodles then put the spoon down. He pulled out a cutting board, then went into the fridge. He grabbed an onion and some green onions. He grabbed a knife and began chopping, mincing them up into smaller pieces. Once done, he put them in the wok and stirred them around.

“So, change the subject?” Rubi asked.

“That's up to you.”

“Hm. Well, this'll probably be insensitive.”

“What?”

“That's a very prominent scar around your neck.”

Toudai gave him a sidelong look.

“What happened?”

“...It's complicated.” Toudai stated. “That's very complicated.”

“...Hm.” Rubi looked back at the meat. He flipped the strips of beef. Both sides were brown. The white harpy lifted the meat out of the pan and put it on a plate.

“Do you want to mix them together or separate?” Toudai asked.

“Together's fine. It's all going in the same gob anyway.”

“Alright.”

Rubi handed Toudai the plate. Toudai took it and dumped the meat into the chow mein. Once all were in, Toudai gave the plate back to Rubi. The raven then grabbed a bottle of teriyaki sauce and dumped a smidgen into wok. He stirred it then dumped another smidgen. He stirred it in.

“I just wonder,” Rubi said, “how are you alive with that prominent of a scar around your neck? It looks like your head was cut off.”

Toudai was silent for a moment. Then he let out a sigh. “That's why I always have bandages around it. Too many questions.”

“Do you need to be so secretive? I'm just a monster, after all. So, it's not like I can persecute you like the humans might.”

“I won't get persecuted regardless. Stop talking about me like I'm a monster.”

“...Sorry. Alright, sorry. But that scar. Was it a kind of witchcraft or something?”

“...It's not as interesting as you think it is. It was a just a problematic birth.”

“Problematic birth?”

“Remember what I said at the camp? About bellybuttons and umbilical cords?”

“Yeah.”

“So, what happened was my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck when I was being born. My father was a doctor and he managed to save me. Apparently, he was certain I wouldn't make it, but he tried his damnedest to keep me going. And obviously it worked because I'm here.”

Rubi looked at him in horror. “That can—that can happen?! How can birthing be so dangerous?!”

“It just happens. Any animal that has a live birth could have that problem, not just humans.”

“Kúrosh, I've never been so happy that we lay eggs. That sounds terrifying.”

“Well, laying eggs has their own problems. Like egg-binding.”

“Yeah, that's what tatolaník is.”

“Oh, you didn't explain that before.”

“My bad.”

“...You know, I noticed you're being way more apologetic.”

Rubi looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Toudai stirred the noodles. They were all fairly soft. He lifted a group of them up, let some fall off, then grabbed one still hanging on the spoon with his finger. He then flung it up and threw it on the cupboard above their head. It stuck to the polished wood. He then grabbed the noodle and put it in his mouth.

“Noodles are done.” Toudai said, turning off the heat. He then grabbed a fork and forced the broccoli strainer open. He poked one and the fork went in with no resistance. “Those are done too. Alright, dinner's ready.”

Toudai turned off the burner and lifted the strainer out of the pot. He put the strainer a hand towel. With ease, he went to the sink and dumped the hot water in the pot down the sink. He then returned to the broccoli and dumped it into the stir fry. He stirred it in.

“Can you hand me some bowls? They're in that cupboard there.” He pointed to the cupboard by the sink.

“Are you just avoiding the subject?”

“No, I'll explain. Let's just dish up first.”

“...Alright.”

Rubi walked over and went to the cupboard. He opened it, pulled out two bowls, and walked back over to Toudai. He separated the bowls before placing them both in front of the doctor.

Toudai dished up the two bowls, making sure there was enough meat and vegetables in both. He opened a drawer and pulled out two pair of chopsticks. He laid one over the bowl and held it out to Rubi. The harpy took it. Toudai grabbed his and the two went to the table. The raven put his bowl down, but didn't sit. Instead, he went to the fridge.

“Do you want orange juice or milk?” Toudai asked.

Rubi looked confused. “...Neither? I don't know what they are.”

Toudai grabbed a two cups. He poured a glass of milk, then poured a glass of orange juice. After putting both jugs back into the fridge, he walked back over the dining table.

“Take a sip of both.” Toudai said. He walked around the table and sat down in his chair.

Rubi obeyed. He grabbed the orange juice first and took a sip. He made a face that he was intrigued by the taste. He put it down and took a drink of milk. He made the same face.

“They're both good.” Rubi said.

“Alright, pick one. I'll drink the other.”

“What do you want?”

“Don't worry about me. Pick whichever you want.”

Rubi nodded. Then he grabbed the milk. “I'll drink this.”

“Okay.” Toudai grabbed the orange juice. He then clapped his hands together. “Itadakimasu.”

Rubi didn't give thanks before picking up his chopstick and beginning to eat.

“So, something I noticed earlier,” Toudai said, “is that you lacked obvious manners before. You never apologized, never said thank you. Especially when we were around your clanmates. You were very rude yesterday. But you've been quite polite once we got back.”

“...Well, you had a bad day, obviously. You just had to reject the person you loved when he confessed to you. And he said some pretty harsh things about your PowPow, so, you know, I figured you don't need to put up with me right now.”

“The notion that you're aware I have to put up with you...”

“...Well...Okay, look, I have an image in the clan. I'm the Ómgotoris, son of the Ómgotis so, you know, my clan expects a lot from me.”

“What is Ómgotoris?”

“The heir. Chosen by the Ómgotis to lead in case he dies.”

“So, like a deputy.”

“I guess so.”

Toudai nodded. “Are you even qualified to lead, or are you just the next in command because you're his son?”

“I'd like to think I'm qualified.” Rubi glowered. “My PowPow's been raising me to take his place since I was a rookery-kin. I did my best to work my way up. I was the first to learn to fly among my rookery-kin's and was proactive in everything I could be throughout the clan.”

“Your dad said he spoiled you.”

“...Well, yeah. But that spoiling was more like letting me get away with talking down to others and throwing my weight around—but only because I could back it up. Roppi and I were the youngest to join the xalaj's and I rose up the ranks until I'm the second in command of the xalaj—Hoshimoto is the head xalaj. My voice carries more weight than just me being 'the son of the Ómgotis'. But because of that, my image carries weight too. I need to be someone respected, you know?”

“So, what I've been seeing, you being polite, is just your true image coming through since I don't care for your image.”

“Maybe. I don't think so. I mean, you've called me an ass since the day we've met.”

“Well, when you drop me to the ground _twice_ , you didn't make the greatest impression.”

“Why should I be kind to a zazanek who I didn't know?”

“You don't need to know someone to be a decent person.”

Rubi glowered. Then he took a mouthful of his food. He swallowed. “Anyway, if you want honestly, the real reason I've been polite is because of what you said before. That Roppi and I would be on better terms if I apologized more.”

“Well, yes. If you apologized to Roppi-kun for the misunderstanding of why you wanted to mate instead of saying 'it's not my fault no one wants you', I'm sure Roppi would be willing to forgive you.”

Rubi's brows furrowed. Then he glanced to the side. “I don't know. That's what I was thinking, but Roppi is an angry guy. He holds grudges.”

“Really? He didn't seem like an angry individual when I talked to him before.”

Rubi's eyes widened. “Really?”

“...Well, he was quite scared, and distrusting. But hearing how he talks to Tsukishima, he didn't seem like an angry person.”

Rubi stared for a moment, then his brows furrowed into a deep glare. He looked down at his food as his hands clenched.

“It's just not fair.” Rubi growled. “It's not fair at _all_!”

Rubi's fist slammed on the table.

“I've been with Roppi since we were Rookery-kin's! I've defended him from the other's who wanted to bully him, the adults who alienated him! I let him cry on my shoulder when his family abandoned him! I stood as his barricade and pathed a way for him to do what he wanted to do! There was no chance he would have been able to join the xalaj if I hadn't told Nishiki I won't join unless Roppi joins too! I wanted Roppi to be successful and I'm willing to do all I can to make that true! So, why?!”

Rubi pressed his hands over his eyes.

“Why him? What the hell does Tsuki have that I don't?! It's so infuriating!”

“...You gave Roppi-kun what he wanted, but Tsukishima-kun gave him what he needed.”

Rubi jolted. His hands came off to look at him wide-eyed.

“Roppi-kun wanted you as a friend, but he doesn't need you as a lifemate.”

“But I gave him everything he could have ever needed!”

“Everything he could have ever _wanted_! He didn't need to be protected, he didn't need to be a xalaj. What he needed was to be happy and find a place where he belonged. And well, if he was alienated by the clan, even abandoned by his family, then I quite doubt Roppi-kun would be able to find happiness in the clan. Even as a xalaj, there were a lot of people in the clan who were talking ill against him during that meeting. I'm sure you're aware that finding happiness with anyone in the clan was going to be impossible.”

“But I...But I could have given him that! I could have given him a place to belong! As my mate, no one would have been bold enough to talk ill of him!”

“Talk ill of him to his face. But if anything, wouldn't they say he was just riding on your title—riding on a title that wasn't his—all because he spread his legs for you?”

Rubi's eyes widened. “But...I...”

“Whether you can accept it or not, I believe Tsukishima makes Roppi-kun happy. He makes him feel wanted and safe. Even if the whole town is against their union, Tsukishima isn't and that's all Roppi-kun needs.”

Rubi clenched his teeth as his brows furrowed in sorrow. He then tilted his head down.

“Why couldn't I make him feel safe?” Rubi growled. “Why couldn't I make him feel wanted?”

“That'd be something you'd need to ask him. Besides, this is all my conjecture. I don't know why Roppi-kun chose Tsukishima. I'm just guessing based on your side of the story.”

Rubi clenched his teeth, growling in regret and emotional pain.

“Let's drop this subject.” Toudai said. “You still need to eat.”

“...Yeah, right.”

With that, Rubi picked up his chopsticks.

 _ **'He wants to marry a person who didn't want him.'**_ Toudai thought. _ **'Then there's me, who wishes he could marry a person but can't. We're a pair of brothers in arms, huh?'**_


	11. Chapter 10

“Are you sure this'll work?” Rubi asked.

“I hope so.” Toudai responded.

The raven put his hands into the hole he made in the fabric and pulled them apart with all his strength. The fabric ripped, the seam popping repeatedly. He pulled and pulled and pulled until the sleeve of the yukata separated from the body. He then folded the fabric so the two holes from where the sleeves once were became aligned. He then took a pair of fabric scissors and slit them down the hole.

Once done, he unfolded them and brushed them off. He lifted the yukata up.

“Here,” Toudai held it out to Rubi.

The harpy, who only had a pair of high shorts on, took it and held it up to his chest. He held his arm up, looking down at the hole, then put his hand in it to spread it wide.

“Here, help me.” Rubi said. “Open the hole up for me.”

Toudai nodded. He walked over on his knees, not wanting to stand up, and spread the cut hole open. Rubi put his arm out again.

“Hm...” Toudai looked at the hole and the bottom flight feathers. “Okay, so the holes still not big enough.”

Toudai took the yukata and folded it again. He made the slits bigger.

“Here.” Toudai held it back up to Rubi. “If that doesn't work, we'll just slit the yukata all the way and tie it off.”

“Okay.”

Rubi put his arm back up. Toudai compared the lowest feathers to the slit.

“I think it'll work. Try it on. If you feel it snag, don't force it.”

“Yup.”

Rubi swung the yukata around behind his shoulders. He folded his wing junction of his wrist down before extending his arm out. His arm slipped through the hole without a snag to be had. He slung his other arm through then grabbed the chest to pull it tight on his torso.

“Is that alright?” Toudai asked. “Do you feel comfortable?”

“...It's a little constricting. I don't like my back feathers being covered.”

“...Hm...” Toudai grabbed the bottom hem, which he had cut so it was at his mid-thigh instead of around his whole leg. “What about down here? Is this okay?”

“Yeah. That's fine. Except for my tail feathers. I can't move them at all.”

“Hm. Alright, let me try again.”

Rubi nodded, taking off his yukata. He gave it back to Toudai. The raven put it back on the floor, lying it face down. He took the scissors again and took them to the neck of the back. With ease, he glided the scissors down the fabric. He stopped right under the shoulder blades and left a strip of fabric to keep the two sides of the split fabric connected. He made an incision three inches down and continued until he thought it would reach the top of his shorts. That left five inches from the cut and bottom hem of the yukata. He then slit the scissors across the bottom of the cut and went up from each end of the slit, making a triangle cut that faded into the slit without looking poorly done. This left a triangle shaped hole where Toudai assumed his tail feathers would poke out.

He grabbed the top shoulders, lifted it, and shook it off.

“Alright, try it now.” Toudai held it up to Rubi.

Rubi took it. He put his arms in the sleeve holes, pulled it up to his chest, then reached behind himself to pull his tail feathers up through the v-slit at the bottom. Rubi turned around and Toudai saw the bottom of the hole was rubbing against the underside of his tail feathers, just like his shorts.

“Is that alright?” Toudai asked.

“Yeah, that feels fine.” Rubi turned back around.

“That's not going to slip off your shoulder, is it?”

Rubi paused. He then hopped, trying to jostle the clothes. It slipped a little but stayed for the most part.

“Seems good.” Rubi said.

Toudai smiled up at him. He then gathered the discarded pieces of clothes and the scissors. He put them both on his nightstand.

“I have a bunch of other yukata's I don't wear anymore. We can go through them and makes some for you.”

“No, it's fine.” Rubi said. “I'm only going to wear this while I'm outside, so I don't need too many of them.”

Toudai looked at him. _**'He's treating it like an jacket, huh?'**_

He decided not to mention that. Instead, Toudai grabbed the hems of the front of the yukata, folded one over the other, and wrapped the obi around his waist. He went around Rubi and tied the back off.

“Alright, there you go.” Toudai smiled. “You're ready to go.”

“Cool.”

Rubi reached under the yukata to his shorts. Toudai wasn't sure what he was doing until the white jeans fell down to pool on the floor. Toudai's eyes widened.

“Eh, why?!” Toudai looked at him. “You can't go out with nothing under your yukata!”

“Why not? The yukata covers everything.”

“But it's too short! If you want to wear a yukata with nothing underneath, it needs to be longer.”

“But it covers everything! It reaches to my mid-thigh! I don't need so many layers on! It's uncomfortable!”

Toudai opened his mouth to argue, but he thought against it.

_**'You know what, it's fine.'** _

The doctor let out a sigh. “Alright. Let me fix this then.”

Rubi looked at him with confusion, but didn't argue. Toudai untied the obi, letting the yukata open. He then closed it more to the left side, so that the edge of the hem would be against Rubi's flank. He then tied the obi. The yukata went from being masculine to feminine, thus covering everything that needed to be covered on Rubi's body.

“It's a little tight.” Rubi complained. “The sash on my waist...”

Toudai turned Rubi around and loosened it a bit. Just enough that it wouldn't be too tight, but so that it wouldn't make the outfit loose.

“Better?” Toudai asked.

“Yeah.”

“Let's go then.”

With everything decided, the two left Toudai's bedroom and went to the front door.

“What do you guys do during the winter, might I ask?” Toudai asked.

“What do you mean?”

Toudai grabbed his coat and put it on. He then spent some time pulling on his shoes.

“I mean, what do you guys do during the winter, if you can't wear clothes that cover your whole body? We've seen Hea—Coravak's during the winter, so I don't think you guys migrate, do you?”

“Oh. No, we hibernate. We go deep into the Sacred Cave, bundle down and sleep. Then the perzonar's, the 'scavengers of the snow', wake up and gather more food to survive on. We have a nanitow up to three times a wiyomag—nanitow is our 'Awakening' time.”

“Oh, I see.” Toudai opened the door and the two walked out. “How do the perzoneers stay warm while they're hunting?”

“Perzonar's.”

“Whoops. Sorry.” Toudai closed the door, making sure to lock up. With that, the two were on their way to the Kaikyo house.

“We have shawls that keep us warm. We can't fly for very long because of the cold air, but we can go long enough to get to the trees, hunker down, and warm back up.”

“Okay. That's good to know.”

“Yeah.”

“Are the perzonar's chosen at random or is it like the xilaj?”

“ _Xa_ laj.”

“Sorry.”

“It's fine. Anyway, it's not random. We apprentice for it like the xalaj. A lot of the xalaj are also perzonar but not all of them. I'm a perzonar. Roppi was one, but I don't know what's going to happen with a baby on the way. Hoshimoto, Fuyu, and Mitsushi are the other. We have two títem—apprentices—who'll be joining us this season. Hibiya—who you met, the golden-white-and-black one—and Yukiru, who you didn't meet.”

“Isn't that—ah, wait, no. A big hunting party would scare off prey.”

“Yup.”

The two walked down the dirt road, passing many people who were obviously looking at them. There was no subtly at all, everyone oogling Rubi like a beacon.

“Do humans always stare so much?” Rubi asked, his voice louder than it needed to be.

Many people jolted and turned their gaze elsewhere. Toudai couldn't help smiling.

“You must forgive them.” Toudai said just as loud. “They haven't seen something like you often, especially the women and children.”

“Yeah, I'm not a forgiving person.”

Toudai looked at him before he patted Rubi's back. The blond looked at him in return, glowered for a moment, then put his arm over Toudai's shoulder. The raven didn't understand why, but he decided not to question it. It was kind of nice, the physical contact, and it wasn't like Rubi was holding him like he would a woman, so this shouldn't cause misfortune.

The two walked like that until they made it to the Kaikyo household. Once they stood in front of the wooden entrance to the stone wall, they separated. Toudai pushed the doorbell. They waited for a few minutes, then the front door of the house opened.

“Who is it?” Tsugaru's voice could be heard over the wall.

“It's Toudaimoto and Rubi.” Toudai stated.

There was no response. Then a few seconds later, the wooden doors of the gate opened. Toudai looked at the blue-eyed blond with a calm gaze while Tsugaru looked at the doctor in shock.

“H-hello.” Tsugaru said. “What um, what is it you need?”

“Rubi came to see Roppi-kun.” Toudai said, folding both arms into his haori sleeves. “That's all.”

Tsugaru immediately looked disappointed in that. He tossed his gaze to the dirt. “Right, yes. Come on in.”

“Pardon the intrusion.”

The two walked in. Tsugaru closed the door behind them. The three of them went to the front door of the house, in which Tsugaru opened it and they all stepped inside. They entered the living room, where Delic was sitting on the couch watching TV. He looked over, his eyes widening to see Rubi.

“Hi.” Delic said.

“Hi.” Rubi responded.

“Came to see Roppi?”

“Yeah. Is he here?”

“Yeah, he's in Tsuki's room. Knock before going in.”

Rubi's eyes narrowed. Toudai could only assume what was going through his head from such a statement. He didn't say anything though. Instead, he touched Rubi's hand and pointed towards the engawa.

“I'll show you.” Toudai looked at Tsugaru. “Is that alright?”

Tsugaru had his arms crossed, in which he closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the engawa. “By all means.”

Toudai nodded and returned his attention to the white harpy. “This way, Rubi.”

“Right.” Rubi nodded.

“Excuse us.” Toudai bowed politely to Delic. Delic gave him a thumbs up to go.

Toudai led the way down the engawa until they made it to Tsukishima's bedroom. He had been in the Kaikyo household plenty of times in the past so he knew exactly where to go. Once there, Toudai knocked on the door.

“It-it's open.” Tsuki said.

Toudai opened the sliding paper door. Tsuki and Roppi were lying on the floor. Roppi had a pillow under his head and a clothe over his eyes. Tsuki was sitting on his knees with Roppi's feet on his lap. He had a nail-filer in his hand, rubbing it against Roppi's talons, while next to him was a scrub, a small towel, and a bowl of water.

“H-hi, Toudai-san.” Tsuki said, looking up at him. “Um, g-greetings, Rubi-san.”

“Rubi's here?” Roppi grabbed the rag and took it off his eyes.

The black harpy then tilted his head back to look at the individuals in the door. His eyes immediately narrowed. He put the clothe back over his face and exhaled.

“What do you want?” Roppi grumbled. “Come to bitch some more?”

“No, I came to see you, dickhead.” Rubi growled, walking in.

Tsuki looked at Rubi with hesitant nervousness. He certainly wasn't comfortable with the white harpy. Obviously, he still held Roppi's warning of Rubi from a few days ago close to heart. However, he didn't say anything. Instead, he adverted his gaze and looked back to Roppi's feet. He continued to file them.

“Why are you letting him file your claws?” Rubi asked, sitting down above Roppi's head.

“Because my claws keep tearing up the wood and carpet.” Roppi said. “Tsugaru's going to get someone to come over and make me caps.”

“What are those?”

“There little things to put over my claws. Like shoes, but just over my claws.”

“What are shoes?”

“What the humans wear over their feet when they go outside.”

“...Oh.” Rubi fidgeted. “Should I get some of those or...?”

“Why?”

“Well, I'm going to be staying with Toudai here while you're here. So—”

“How many times do I have to tell you to go home before you get it?”

“And how many times do I have to tell you I'm worried about you?”

“And how many times do _I_ have to tell you I'm perfectly safe with Tsukishima?”

“I...! I...get that...”

“Obviously you fucking don't if you're still here.”

“Roppi, I care about you, alright? As...As your friend, I want to make sure your pregnancy goes well. And you can't tell me you're okay being completely cut off from the clan.”

“Considering you're the only one who actually gives a shit I'm gone, there's not much I'm missing out on.”

“But we're still your baztanéc!”

“For the next nine months, these are my baztanéc!”

“YOU—No. No. No!” Rubi clenched his teeth. “I didn't come here to fight. I just—” Rubi let out a heavy sigh. “Roppi, can I talk to you?”

“You are talk—”

“You know what I mean! Can we talk? Privately?”

“No.” Roppi said. “I can't be alone with another Coravak.”

“We won't be alone long. Five minutes at most.”

“No.”

Rubi's brows furrowed.

“W-well,” Tsuki said, “We-we can wait outside the door. Th-that way you won't be alone still and-and you can t-talk privately.”

“Tsuki, we can't risk...” Roppi took his clothe off his face and immediately fell silent when he looked at Tsuki's face.

The blond was looking at him with a tender gaze, but also a sad gaze. Roppi then looked up at Rubi. The white harpy's brows were furrowed in pain as he glared at the ground. He was sitting stiffly, resting on his knees with his hands clenched on his thighs. Roppi looked at him, glowered, then scoffed in annoyance.

“Alright, fine.” Roppi hissed, sitting up. “Five minutes.”

Rubi immediately perked up. His pained expression vanished immediately, being replaced with a smile. Roppi still glowered as he took his feet off of Tsuki's lap. Tsuki went to stand, but Roppi tugged on the white sleeve of his yukata. Without hesitation, the two leaned in to each other and Roppi kissed his cheek. Tsuki kissed Roppi's head then finally stood.

Toudai didn't mention anything. He knew that certainly must have hurt Rubi to see. Roppi probably did it on purpose, although Toudai was certain Tsuki wasn't any the wiser. The two humans left the bedroom, in which Tsuki closed the door and they sat down in front it.

“Five minutes.” Roppi's voice could be heard through the door. “Speak in the human language. Go.”

Rubi didn't speak for a moment. “Okay. Roppi, I...I want to apologize.”

“...What?”

“I'm sorry for the things I said a few days ago. And I...I'm sorry for the way I asked to be your mate way back when. I...I've never been very honest with you...I'm sorry.”

“Where the fuck is this coming from? That was so many seasons ago.”

“Yet you brought it up just a few days ago. You're still upset about it, aren't you?”

“...Well, yeah. Getting told I don't have a choice so deal with it was infuriating.”

“I didn't mean—No, I guess I did mean it like that. But it's because I...No, I have no excuse. I just...couldn't handle you rejecting me. It was wrong. I'm sorry.”

Roppi didn't respond.

“Heh, that's the first time I've seen you make that kind of face.” Rubi said, “You look so uncomfortable.”

“Well, what the fuck kind of face am I supposed to make when you say sappy shit like that?”

“Heh, you know, that's one of the things I liked about you so much. It's one of your cute sides. You can't handle intimacy to save your life. Well...at least until you met Tsukishima.”

There was no response.

“I've never seen you act like that with anyone, not even me. You and Tsuki...have something that we couldn't have. I know where I went wrong now. I wish we could go back. I...” Rubi inhaled deeply then let out a quick breath. “Are you happy with him? Really happy? Or are you just doing this for the clan?”

Roppi didn't answer for a moment. But when he did, his voice range out with confidence. “I'm happy with him. I'm with him because I want to be.”

“But aren't you worried that's going to change? This human settlement won't accept you.”

“I don't know what the future will hold for us. I don't know if I'll be happy down the line, but right now, Tsuki makes me happy. So long as he accepts me, I don't need anyone else.”

“How can you—Did you even properly research him before you decided on this?”

“I would think so.”

“How long have you been watching him?”

“I only watched him for half-a-day.”

“Half-a—”

“He chose to fail his Masculine-Cue.”

Rubi didn't respond.

“He managed to catch me. It was after that fight with Hoshimoto, when he told me I only got into the xalaj because you refused to join unless I was allowed to join.”

“Wha—! He told you?! He wasn't supposed to tell you!”

“So, it is true.”

“I...!” Rubi fell quiet.

“Hoshimoto told me and I was just so...I needed to get away from it all. So, I went down to the pond and Tsuki snuck up on me. He caught me in his net, gagged me, so I couldn't screech at him. He had me dead to rights. He could have taken my Minlir. But he didn't. He was fighting with himself. His hands were shaking. He looked like he was about to cry. I didn't get it until he cut me loose. He let me go, Rubi.

“Then, when I turned on him,” Roppi continued, “I had his life in my hands. I could have killed him without question. I stared at him, and he was making the same face I had. He looked just as terrified as I felt moments before. He let me go and I didn't understand why. He could have done anything to me, but he chose to let me go. After everything that happened to Virus, a human had mercy on me. A human regretted trying to hurt me.”

Roppi let out a soft sigh.

“After that, I used my hiistrak on him, so I could follow him. I stalked him all day. And well, that night I snuck into his room and interrogated him. I asked him why he let me go. And he told me he couldn't stomach the idea of hurting me. Even though I was a monster, even though I could have killed him if he let me go, he did it anyway. That was all I needed to choose him as my lifemate.”

Rubi didn't respond for a while. “Kúrosh, that goofy smile on your face is annoying.”

“...Well, fuck you too. At least I only look goofy when I smile. You look goofy all the time.”

The two were silent, then they both chuckled.

Rubi then let out a sigh. “So, there's no way I can change your mind, is there? You're sticking with him...?”

“To the end.”

“That end might be quick in this human settlement.”

“At least it won't be alone and sad.”

Rubi was quiet.

“Five minutes are up.” Roppi said.

“W-wait...” Rubi said quickly then he let out a heavy sigh. “I...I need some closure here. So, please listen to me for a little longer.”

“...Alright. Go ahead.”

Rubi was silent for a moment. “Roppi, I...I've always loved you. Not because we would make beautiful children, not because I pitied you. I...really...truly loved you. Even now, the idea of you being with Tsukishima pisses me off. I just...I sat here wondering for the last few days what a human had that I didn't.”

“Well—”

“I know now. Or I think I know. Is it...Is it because I only gave you what you wanted and not what you needed?”

 _ **'Ah,'**_ Toudai thought. _**'He took my words to heart.'**_

“What's that supposed to mean?” Roppi asked.

“I mean, I mean I kept the other from talking badly of you. I got you into the xalaj when Nishiki wouldn't let you. I was there for you when your baznikoo left you behind. I let you cry and scream in my arms and didn't say a thing! I was there for you when no one else was! But you still...! You still...couldn't choose me. Was it because what I offered you wasn't what you needed? Was it because you and I weren't as close as I thought?”

“I'm...Rubi, you and I are close. But I've never looked at you as a potential lifemate. I've seen you as my best friend, maybe even an Ékûrablav. But the idea of being sexually intimate with you...I don't know, it just never sat right for me. You did give me everything I could have asked for...but maybe you're right. Even after everything you've done for me, I still wasn't happy. I was still angry and hateful everyday. You certainly gave me what I wanted, but...but I don't think you could have given me what I needed. I think you're right about that.”

Rubi was silent for a moment. “I really love you, Roppi. I wish I could have given you what you needed.”

“I...I'm so—”

“Don't apologize. You shouldn't have to apologize for not loving someone.” Rubi let out a sigh. “Saying sorry means you regret rejecting me, which means I could have had a chance, heh.”

“No, you have no chance.”

“Ouch. Roppi, ouch! I'm hurting so much here, you asshole!”

“...You're right. My bad.”

Rubi let out a heavy sigh.

“Are we...Are we going to be okay?” Roppi asked. “If you don't want to be friends anymore, I completely understand.”

“No, I don't want that. If I can't have you as a lifemate, I don't want to lose you as a friend. If...if anything, we can only move forward from here. At least I have proper closure.”

“So...so we're okay?”

“...Not right now. I might...need a few days. But...but I'll come visit once I'm ready, okay?”

“...Alright. Are you going home then?”

“No, I'm going to stay with Toudai still.”

“Alright.”

“I'm...I'm going to go, okay?”

“Yeah. I'll walk you out.”

Rubi didn't respond. Toudai could only assume he must have nodded. Tsuki and Toudai stood. At the same time, Toudai heard Rubi's claws on the floor. Their claws started to clack towards the door.

“Rubi...” Roppi voiced.

There was no response.

“...Thank you for loving me.”

Rubi didn't respond for a long time. But when he did, his voice was thick with barely restrained emotions. “Y-yeah. Yeah, Roppi, you're welcome.”


	12. Chapter 11

Rubi let out a heavy sigh before flopping face first on the couch.

“You did well.” Toudai said, standing by the door.

“I feel like shit.”

“Heartbreak usually does.”

Rubi just groaned.

“I'll be back.”

“Yeah.”

Toudai went back out the door. Rubi had wanted to come straight back to Toudai's home, however, Toudai wanted to get something to eat from the food stalls since he didn't feel like cooking. So, off he went.

The doctor went to a teriyaki beef stir fry stall and ordered two bowls to go. He returned within twenty minutes. Rubi was still lying on the couch, although it looked like he had fallen asleep. Toudai attempted to be as quiet as possible as he took off his shoes and went into the kitchen. He put the paper bag on the dining table, then went back into the living room to put his haori on the coat rack.

Toudai grabbed his notebook from the coffee table, went back to the kitchen to pull his food out of the paper bag and put Rubi's in the fridge, then went to his bedroom. Shiro was already lying on the bed when he arrived. The cat was sprawled out over the pillow, claiming it for himself and no one else. Toudai sat down next to him.

He started unbuttoning his shirt. He shrugged it off, then pulled his tanktop turtleneck off, freeing his scar to open air. Next came the bandages around his chest. Soon enough, his breasts were given freedom. Toudai tilted his head back and let out a breath of relief. He then pulled his button up back on and sealed it shut.

Toudai was planning to spend the next few hours by himself. However, there was a knock at his door instead.

“Come in.” Toudai called.

Rubi opened the door, poking his head in. “Hey, are you going to bed?”

“No. I thought you were asleep, so I did not want to disturb you.”

“Oh. No, I wasn't asleep. I just...I was just lying down.”

Ah.”

“You wanna eat together?”

“Sure.”

“Cool.”

Rubi didn't hesitate to walk in fully. In his hand was his box of stir fry and a pair of chopsticks. Toudai didn't question why he already had it. He was expecting to go to the kitchen, but it seemed like Rubi was eager to eat now.

Toudai went to the closet and pulled out a small table clothe. He never used it—he never liked using it—so this was a good use for it now. He lied it down on the floor, then grabbed his box of food and put it on top of the table clothe. He then sat down on the floor. Rubi sat across from him and put his box down as well.

Toudai grabbed his chopsticks. Rubi grabbed his as well. The harpy held them up towards Toudai's.

“Itadakimasu.” Rubi said.

Toudai stared for a moment, surprised and confused he said that. That was the first time he had said it so far. However, he didn't question it.

Instead, he clacked his chopsticks against Rubi's and said, “Itadakimasu.”

With that, they started eating. A silence befell them as the focused on their food.

“Hey, can I ask you something heavy?” Rubi started.

“That's sudden.”

“I know.”

“Go ahead then.”

“Why can't you love that Tsugaru guy? The actual reason.”

Toudai glowered.

“I mean, you know why me and Roppi didn't work. So, it's only fair that I know why you and him won't. And you only gave me a vague reason. That he'll be doomed if you love him.”

“It's complicated.”

“Well, it can't be that complicated if you're _human_.”

The doctor fully glared. He then let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his hand through his hair.

“To put it simply, I can't ever acknowledge that I'm a woman. If I choose to love Tsugaru, it will be registering that I'm a woman.”

“Isn't being a woman just a gender? That's not something you can change, is it?”

“No, it's not.”

“Then how can you not acknowledge you're a woman if you are indeed a woman?”

“Because I don't act like it. I don't talk like one, act like one, or look like one—at least with my clothes on. Anyone who first meets me will think I'm a man. But...Tsugaru never saw me as one. He's always seen me as a woman. And when I'm with him, I want to be a woman. It'll just doom him.”

“I don't really get it. If you're pretending to be a man, then can't you just be a ninepow? 'The one who gives', as in the one who gives the semen?”

“No, I can't. Not with my body parts.”

“Okay, tell me, what's the difference between the genders? You mentioned a vagina before, but I don't get it.”

“It is a sexual organ that females have. It's the mouth of the uterus.”

“...So, a hanablav—an entrance to the womb.”

“I guess you could say that, yes.”

“So you do have the same parts.”

“No, I don't. It's different.”

“How is it different?!”

“Because you have male body parts! They're different!”

“ _How_?!”

“They—Oh my...!” Toudai tilted his head down and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I never thought explaining gender would be so difficult.”

Rubi glared. Then he clicked his tongue. “You know what, fuck it! Just show me!”

Rubi grabbed his obi and yanked on it until it came undone. With the loss of the obi, the yukata came undone. Toudai's eyes widened with realization.

“Wai-wai-wait!” Toudai called. “Hold on a moment. I'll go get my anatomy book and—”

“No, just show me now. We don't care!”

“ _You_ don't care! I can't acknowledge I'm a woman!”

“Oh, come on! If you can't acknowledge you're a woman then every time you pee, you're going against what you're supposed to do!”

Toudai's eyes widened. He never thought of that before. Then he recalled what the man on the mountain said.

“ _There are always loopholes to curses.”_

_**'Then...then does that mean I can show him myself without something happening?'** _

Rubi stripped off his yukata completely, tossing it to the side. He then stood. Toudai came face-to-face with Rubi's masculine form—well, face-to-dick.

Toudai couldn't help flushing with embarrassment as he quickly turned around and buried his face in his hands.

“Rubi, that is indecent!” Toudai called.

“Why?! I was naked before you yesterday! And you were too! You were naked yesterday!”

“I-I know! But I shouldn't have—”

“Why? It's just nudity!”

“Nudity leads to sex!”

“Says who?!”

“Th-that's just how it is!”

“I have to say, we're always naked around each other in our clan and it's never led to sex.”

“W-well, I mean, hot springs are always an exception.” Toudai glowered into his hands.

“Come on.” Rubi growled. “Just show me what makes us different.”

“I can just get an anatomy book...”

“That'll take too long when you can just strip now.”

“No, it wouldn't. It'd really—”

“Just do it. You're a _man_ , after all.”

Toudai couldn't retort to that. _**'Nudity amongst the same gender isn't strange. So, it's not manly that I'm freaking out like this...Agh, dammit! I'm being played! I'm certainly being led by the nose! I can't!'**_

“Come on, it's alright, isn't it?” Rubi said, sounding a little annoyed. “I'm not going to do anything.”

“I...I'm not worried about...you doing anything...I mean...I'm a man...”

Toudai groaned then let out a heavy sigh.

“Alright.”

The raven stood, back still to Rubi. He grabbed his shirt and began pulling on his buttons. Within a few seconds, the front of his shirt was open. He then shrugged it off and tossed it on the bed. Next, he grabbed his pants. He couldn't let himself think about it, else he probably wouldn't do it. Off the pants came, along with his boxers. His entire backside was bare to Rubi.

Toudai clenched his teeth, then exhaled. He closed his eyes and turned around quickly.

Rubi said nothing for a moment. “Your chest is sagging.”

Toudai opened his eyes to glare at him. “They're not _sagging_! They're breasts! Sagging would be having them down to my knees.”

“Oh, really?”

“...No. Realistically, they'll only sag to over your ribs. Like, right here.” He put his hand horizontal to one rib above his waistline. “But if they were sagging, my nipples would be pointing straight down to the floor.”

Toudai pointed in emphasis.

Rubi looked at Toudai's breasts. His gaze wasn't malicious or with questionable intent. It was just an analytical gaze.

“Guess your breasts are pretty perky then.” Rubi said. “Does that mean they're healthy?”

“Yes. Well, sagging breasts isn't really unhealthy either. It's usually just old age.”

“Huh.” Rubi looked down at Toudai's genitals. “So where's your hole? Is it that little lump.”

Toudai looked down at himself. “No, that's my clitoris.”

“What's that?”

“It's...well, see, if I was a man, that's where my penis would come out. It's basically my penis.”

“...Is it supposed to be that small?”

“Yes. A big clitoris is...well...I mean, to each their own, but most of the people I know think a giant clitoris is disgusting. Because big clitoris's really look like a penis. Like a little two-centimeter punisher, heh.”

Rubi held back a laugh. “Well, at least that joke's universal.”

The two shared a chuckle.

“Well, where is your hanablav then? Your 'clitoris' looks way too small to take a penis in.”

“It is. It's just meant for sexual stimulation. It doesn't urinate, secrete semen, or even get infections. It's really just there to receive pleasure.”

“Wha—really?! That's honestly...I want that! I'm constantly having to clean my dick and check under the foreskin and things like that—wait! Do you have a foreskin?!”

“No.”

“...That is so convenient.”

“I have never heard a man say that before.”

“Well, it's just a hassle. With our claws, it's difficult to clean under the foreskin if it gets things under them.”

“...Well, if you really think that, there is a procedure to remove the foreskin.”

Rubi jolted, his eyes stretched wide. “W-we-well, wait. Wait, that's a little, eheh.”

Toudai chuckled. “You were just complaining about it!”

“I know! But...I mean....a knife on my genitals is...I doubt you would like that on yours so, you know what I mean?”

“Heh, you're right. I wouldn't.”

Rubi rubbed the back of his neck. He then cleared his throat. “So, wait. If that's not your hanablav, where is it?”

“It's lower. Between my legs.”

“I don't see it.”

“...Well, from this angle...that's hard to see...”

Rubi didn't respond. When the silent stretched on, Rubi turned his head in an obvious gesture to do something.

“Well?” Rubi said. “Are you going to show me or not?”

Toudai hesitated. “W-well, isn't that...going too far?”

“Why? If you really want, I'll show you my entrance to the womb if you show me yours. You can't see mine over my genitals.”

Toudai hesitated again. “...I guess that's true.”

The raven didn't move for a long moment. He then turned and went to the bed.

“What are you—”

“I need to sit down for you to see it properly.” Toudai said.

“...Oh, that's true.”

The white harpy walked over and climbed on the bed as well. Toudai closed his legs, putting a hand between them to block any potential views. Rubi wasted no time leaning back and spreading his legs wide. He reached his hand down and scooped his scrotums into the palm of his hands—keeping his claws away—and lifted them up. Rubi expose his anus to Toudai.

“That's my hanablav.” Rubi said. “My entrance to the womb.”

“...Seeing a normal anus and knowing it connects to a uterus is still so strange.”

“Oh? You've seen a hanablv before?”

“All the time. I have one too. But it's not my entrance to the womb.”

Toudai leaned back, hand still over his feminine folds, but not over his anus.

“See?” Toudai looked up at Rubi. “Mine doesn't go to my womb. It goes to my digestive track.”

“You don't throw up pellets?”

“No. We push out fecal matter.”

“What does it look like? Is it like a cow pie?”

“You know what a cow pie is?”

“Yeah, we have dugima's in the clan. They're free-range animals. They do what they want, but we can get stuff from them.”

“Heh, obviously not milk.”

“You get milk from dugima's?”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“From their udder's.” Toudai leaned forward. “Mammal's have a lot of differences from birds. We have a distinguishable gender—males have penis's and females have vagina's. Women also have breasts that secret milk for the baby.”

“Wait, these,” Rubi poked Toudai's breast with the tip of his claw, “Have milk in them? Is that what I drank yesterday?!”

“No, no, no. That was cow milk. I would need to be pregnant to start secreting milk.”

“So you can only get milk from dugima every once in a while?”

“No, cows are an exception. They, along with goats, produce milk all year around. All other mammals, that I know of, only produce milk when they're pregnant, since the milk is supposed to feed the baby.”

“Wait, your body produces something for the baby to eat?”

“Yup.” Toudai chuckled. “Although, some women can produce milk without pregnancy, but it's very rare.”

“How do you do that?”

“Well, it's usually a side effect to a medical condition, like kidney failure or thyroid disease, but some women can start producing from over-stimulation during sex or even shirt chafing. It's never really an open and close case with women. Sometimes, it just happens.”

Rubi stared at him. Then he looked down at Toudai's breasts. “Do yours leak when you have sex?”

“...I don't know. I've only had sex once.”

“...Hm.” Rubi looked at Toudai's body again. “So, you've had sex, huh?”

“...Is that a surprise? I'm twenty-three.”

“What does your age have to do with anything?”

“...Oh, well, for humans, we usually lose our virginity from sixteen to eighteen. I mean, you don't have to, but that's usually the time when we do. So, to be twenty-three and still a virgin is unusual for us.”

“Huh. That's a little strange for us. We only lose our virginity when we're ready to choose a lifemate.”

“And yet Hoshimoto accused you of having sex with Roppi.”

“...Well, yeah. I mean, sometimes we have sex. There's been plenty of times Coravaks have had sex with each other, but we make sure not take each other minlir's.”

“What's a minlir? You mentioned that before but I couldn't ask at the time.”

“Oh, it's our birthmark—our brand, as you guys put it.”

“Oh, I see.”

Rubi nodded. “But yeah, we can have sex so long as we don't give each other our minlir—we give our minlir's by achieving orgasm while there's penetration.”

“Yeah, I know.” Toudai said. “Those that do the Masculine-Cue don't pass if they don't get their brand.”

Rubi glowered. “...Oh, right...”

Toudai realized a little late that was probably something not to say. The raven decided to change the subject. “Have you had sex before?”

Rubi looked down then back up. “Yeah, I had sex before. It wasn't with Roppi though.”

“Oh? Who then?”

“You wouldn't know them. It wasn't one that you talked to.”

“Fair enough.”

“Who'd you lose yours to?”

Toudai hesitated.

“Was it Tsugaru?”

Toudai's eyes narrowed into a glare before he glowered to the side.

“So, your hanablav.”

The raven looked up at him. He was confused for a moment before he realized Rubi was changing the subject.

“Right...” Toudai said.

The raven then leaned back, hand still between his legs. He hesitated as his cheeks burned. He spread his legs, hand still in place. He closed his eyes tight shut as his ears started to burn.

“Is it that embarrassing?” Rubi asked.

“Of course it is. Only one person has seen this part of me before...”

Rubi chuckled.

“Don't laugh at me.”

“Sorry.”

Toudai opened his eyes. Then he closed them again and took his hand away.

Rubi said nothing, which made Toudai even more embarrassed. He could feel his shoulder's warming up. His face was so hot. His ears were starting to ring from the heat.

Toudai forced one eye open and looked over at Rubi. The blond was looking down at the raven's feminine folds. Toudai's body responded to the sight. He didn't fully understand why, but it made his body alight with pleasure. His entrance tightened, which made him blush even harder because Rubi certainly saw that.

Rubi held back a laugh. “Are you getting turned on?”

“Don't laugh at me!”

“I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you on purpose.”

“...Liar.”

“Are you tempted to do something?”

Toudai jolted and closed his legs quickly, his eyes stretched wide to look at him. “T-t-t-t-t-tempted?! I'm not—I'm not tempted! I'm just—I am—that is—”

Rubi held back a laugh once again. “You're stumbling on your words. That's cute.”

“That isn't...” Toudai glowered. “You-you're going to cause problems.”

“What do you mean, 'I'm going to start problems'?”

“I-I mean...” Toudai looked down at Rubi's member. “I-I'm not t-t-tempted but-but...you-you know...”

“I know what?”

Rubi's cock twitched. Toudai's eyes widened and he quickly backed away.

“Thi-this situation is turning bad!” Toudai stated. “W-w-we—this is turnin-turning from sharing anatomy to sexual! We're being irresponsible!”

Toudai quickly turned and grabbed his shirt.

“This situation is—”

“You're being adorable right now.” Rubi said.

Toudai looked at him wide-eyed. The white harpy leaned forward with a smile.

“I've never seen you so meek and flustered like this. Is it a natural thing for humans to act in a way that would spark that predatory instinct in others?”

Toudai's face hurt with newfound embarrassment. He pressed his shirt over his chest and leaned back. He glanced down to notice Rubi's member was half-hard now.

“I-I'm not...trying to...” Toudai clenched his teeth hard.

“Hey, you say you can't acknowledge you're a 'woman'. But if my clan is proof of anything 'men' can have sex with each other. Is it not the same for humans?”

“...N-no, it is. Men can have sex...together. They're homosexuals...”

“Then can't you be a homosexual?”

“But I...I mean...if I have sex, I'd be acknowledging I'm a woman...”

“So, you can't be a homosexual?”

Toudai clenched his teeth. That logic wasn't sound. If he was a man that lusted for men, then doesn't that make him a woman anyway? Weren't homosexuals just girl men anyway?

No, that couldn't be right. That meant every homosexual was a 'bottom' and no one would play the 'masculine' role. Obviously gay men had sex because they loved men, not because they were using men as a replacement for a woman. It would be improper to Toudai to assume homosexuals were girly.

_**'But even if that is the cast, this isn't...I can't possibly be tempted to do something. It will only end bad for he and I.'** _

“ _You can't live your life in fear.”_ The words of the man on the mountain range clear in his head. _“It is_ you're _life, after all.”_

Toudai shouldn't take that advice to justify these actions. He couldn't take that advice.

However, he was going to.

Toudai chuckled, a smile creeping across his face. “You were the one who said our nudity wouldn't lead to sex.”

Rubi chuckled before he sat back. “Guess you're right. My apologies.”

“However,” Toudai leaned forward with a nervous smile. “I'm up for it if you are.”

Rubi's eyes widened. “Wait, you serious?”

Toudai let his shirt drop. “Well, looking at this differently, you're right. If I'm not supposed to be a woman but I can't acknowledge it, then every time I use the water closet I should have been suffering. The fact that I'm not is proof that my...condition is in the literal sense. Things only happen so long as I don't acknowledge I'm a woman. So, in theory, if I still believe I'm a man, I can still do everything I want. I can still have sex, I can still be affectionate. I just have to do it as a man. If I am a homosexual, it should be okay to have sex with another man without consequence.”

“I thought you said I'd be an exception because I'm not human.”

“I'm not an exception though.”

 _ **'You're not an exception, honestly. Endless suffering can still potentially happen to you, but I don't care for you, so**_ I _ **won't suffer. This situation is perfect for me.'**_

“And I mean,” Toudai continued, “You said you were willing to comfort me yesterday.”

Rubi looked at him wide-eyed with a crooked smile. “Well, this wasn't what I meant.”

“Heh, and I could comfort you if you want.” Toudai smiled, leaning forward on his arms, bringing his face closer. “We could use that as the excuse if you're worried about justifying this.”

Toudai brought himself closer, lifting himself with his hands to swing his knees closer.

“Are you okay with this?” Rubi asked.

“I am.”

“But what about Tsugaru?”

“This it better like this. I'll be able to let him go easier if I have someone to help me forget him.”

“So, what you want me to do the same thing because Roppi broke my heart?”

“If you want to. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to.”

Rubi held back a laugh. “Oh, wow. Consent is so hot.”

Toudai tried not to take offense to that. That was quite an obvious jab. Although it was justified, all things considered, it wasn't a comment that should be made at Toudai, who was innocent in the situation.

However, he didn't want to ruin the mood, so he wouldn't bring it up.

“So, are we...?” Toudai asked.

Rubi looked at him for a moment, then smiled and wrapped his arms around Toudai's lower back. His curled talon-like nails slightly dug into his skin.

“We're going to have to set some ground rules though.” Rubi said.

“Okay.”

“So, first off. No deep kisses. I don't want to give you my hiistrak.”

“What's that?”

“Okay, so, our first deep kiss holds a huge cluster of concentrated pheromones in the saliva. Once we inject it into the other person, we'll always be able to find that person after that. The pheromones will secrete this nice sweet smell that we'll be able to find wherever the other goes.”

Toudai nodded. “Okay, yeah. That's definitely something you shouldn't give to me.”

Rubi nodded. “The last rule—and this is the most important one. No ejaculation while penetrating.”

“Of course not.” Toudai said. “I don't want to get pregnant.”

Rubi nodded. “Alright, so, if we're agreed...”

Rubi's arms wrapped around Toudai completely. He pulled the raven forward and flipped him over on his back. The raven gasped and clung to the harpy tightly. Rubi placed him gently on the mattress, looming over him. He stared down at Toudai with a haughty gaze. Such a stare made Toudai's heart pump.

“Let's see how well we can please each other.”


	13. Chapter 12

Rubi loomed over him, looking over his form. Toudai blushed profusely to the stare, his heart beating with excitement and worry.

“Um, y-y-yeah, abou-about that.” Toudai said. “I, um, I've only had sex once before, so I'm still...really inexperienced.”

“Well, that's fine. I've experimented enough to have a bit of confidence.”

Rubi leaned down and kissed Toudai's neck. Toudai immediately tilted his head against Rubi's, grabbing his shoulders hard to pull him away. That kiss sent a spark up his body that was so pleasurable but extremely intense. It was too much for him when he's never had someone touch his neck before, not even Tsugaru.

“Don't fight me now.” Rubi pushed back, nuzzling his mouth against his neck again. “I'm not going to tear out your throat.”

“I-I know. I'm not worr—hee! It's too much! It's really, really sensitive!”

“Well, the only way to get pass that is to keep doing it.”

Toudai grabbed his shoulders hard. The doctor shuddered, digging his nails in. Rubi tilted his head down and let out a breath of ecstasy. Toudai trembled to the air that hit his neck.

“Forewarned,” Rubi chuckled, “I really like pain like that.”

“Like... _that_?”

“I don't like getting punched or kicked or anything like that. But scratching, biting—especially during sex—is really my thing.”

Toudai blushed to that information. “Th-that...”

Rubi chuckled. “You're getting meek again.”

Toudai glowered. “No, I'm not.”

“Oh, yes, you are.” Rubi propped himself up on his hands. He then leaned down and kissed Toudai's clavicle. The raven jolted. “It's so erotic. So attractive.”

Toudai pursed his lips. Rubi went further down, kissing the center of his chest.

“Your sweat smells nice. I like that.”

Toudai jolted.

“There's a different scent here though.” Rubi stated, his hand trailing up to touch Toudai's breasts. “It's not the same smell as the one on your neck.”

“W-well, th-that's...” Toudai reached up and put his hands over Rubi's, glancing to the side. “Because these are milk sacs. That...smell of milk kinda mixes in.”

“...Yeah, I can see that.”

“You mean smell that?”

Rubi held back a laugh.

“Well, you know, I could take a shower and I won't smell anymore.” Toudai said, “We were walking around, so we're probably both sw—”

“I don't mind.” Rubi said. “You know, animals can find their soulmates by their scent. If ones scent doesn't appeal to the individual, then they're obviously not destined for each other.”

“...Um, isn't that...a little...I mean, this is just sex, remember?”

Rubi looked up at him with a cocked brow of judgment. “I remembered. Have you forgotten?”

“No!” Toudai called indignantly. “You just said that thing and—”

“I was just bringing it up because the fact that I like your scent might mean we're pretty compatible. Hopefully, our physical chemistry will be good.”

_**'...I'm surprised he knew such big words in Japanese.'** _

“Don't let it get to your head now.” Rubi said.

Toudai glowered. _**'He's still a dickhead.'**_

Rubi turned his hand to grab one of Toudai's hand. Doing so, he gently pinned it to the bed. Toudai felt a little nervous by that, but Rubi made sure not to touch the claws to his flesh. The white harpy reached down and drew his tongue over Toudai's right nipple. The doctor jolted to the sensation, closing his eyes tight shut. Again, a spark of pleasure so intense it nearly hurt, shot up his spine.

“Mm, hm!” Toudai tilted his head back as his hand touched the soft feathers of Rubi's head.

“This tastes different than a man's.” Rubi stated.

Toudai cocked a brow.

“Sorry, I'm just making observations. I've never seen 'a woman' before, so I'm...noting the difference.”

“Well, um...So, you might not want to put your face down towards my...my crotch. I mean, if you say my breast smells weird, then you won't like the scent below.”

“Why? What's it smell like?”

“Depends, really. It can smell like vinegar since it's acidic and if you ate something acidic, it'll smell like vinegar. But it can smell sweet or metallic as well. It really depends on the pH balance, what you ate, or even bacteria pollution.”

“...I don't know what pH balance is. But bacteria pollution is a little...”

“No, it's not like that. The bacteria that can develop on the vagina is the same you find in bread and beer and even yogurt. So, it's not bad bacteria.”

“...Okay.” Rubi nodded.

“I mean, if a woman was having bad bacteria in her crotch, she's got some kind of infection and needs to get it fixed pronto. Also, the smell would be way stronger. Like, eye watering stronger. And it'd smell like fish.”

Rubi stared at him. He then slunk down Toudai's body, nose just grazing his flesh. Toudai pursed his lips before tilting his head back and exhaling. Such a light touch felt amazingly sensual and that lit a fire in his core. Rubi went down, down, down until his face was level to Toudai's pubic area. He then inhaled deeply.

Toudai's eyes widened as a fiery blush hit his face.

“D-d-d-don't do that!” Toudai pushed against Rubi's head. “You don't need to sniff that!”

“I'm making sure it doesn't make my eyes water.”

“That isn't—”

“It smells nice. I like it.”

Toudai blushed, his heart fluttering.

“Spread your legs.” Rubi said.

Toudai's face burned for a new reason.

“Come on, spread them.”

“W-well...well, I think we should, I mean...”

“...Are you getting cold feet?”

“No, I just...if-if we're going to find out if we can pleasure each other, I should do something too, you know?”

“Hm...Then this.”

Rubi lied back, spreading his leg around Toudai's. Toudai sat up.

“Come here. Put your crotch here.” Rubi tapped his face.

Toudai stiffened and blushed. “I-I can't do that! I can't do that!”

Rubi stared at him. Then chuckled. “You talk so confidently all the time, even suggesting we have sex. But now you're being so cute and flustered.”

Rubi sat up. He leaned over and kissed Toudai's cheek.

“Do you want to stop?” Rubi asked.

“No. I really want to...” Toudai looked up at him. He then returned the gesture and kissed Rubi's cheek. “I'm sorry I'm ruining the mood. I do want....”

“Then work with me.” Rubi's hand came around his back, pulling him close so their chests pressed against each other. “Can't do anything if you reject me entirely.”

Toudai nodded, glancing to the side. “I know. I'm sorry. It's just...embarrassing...I'm extremely inexperienced.”

Rubi kissed his cheek again. “Here.”

Toudai waited. With his arms still wrapped around the doctor, Rubi coaxed him to stand on his knees with him. Once situated, the white harpy reached his hand down and brought his hips back. The doctor couldn't look down since both their chests were blocking their view. However, he could feel it. He felt Rubi's erection press against his pubic area. Then he felt the tip tilt down, rubbing the urethra against his flesh, then pushed between his legs.

The doctor jolted, wrapping his arms around Rubi's neck. The member rubbed against his clitoris, then his urethra, then his labia's. The groove of the cock head applied a lovely sensation that filled his body with need and pleasure.

Rubi's pelvis pressed against Toudai's. The raven shuddered, holding Rubi tight.

“How's this?” Rubi asked, breathing in Toudai's ear.

The raven trembled. He decided not to answer that in favor of basking in the sensation. Immediately, he wanted that hard thing to be inside of him. It was a carnal desire, but damn, was it a strong feeling. He wanted it. He wanted Rubi to penetrate him.

However, he couldn't voice that. It was far too embarrassing to tell him to put it inside.

Rubi's hand trailed down and grabbed Toudai's rump, each mound of flesh in his hand as he took care not to prick him with his claws. He then pulled his own hips back. The groove of the mushroom cap rubbed Toudai's clitoris and entrance. The doctor pursed his lips and moaned. Rubi thrust forward.

“Hm!” Toudai buried his mouth into Rubi's shoulder.

Toudai kept still, just holding the harpy close, while Rubi dry-humped against him. Every time the cock head touched his clitoris, sparks of euphoria shot up his spine to tickle his brain and shoot back down to his pleasure nub. His labia's were clamping down on empty air, wanting to pull that cock into his body. He really, _really_ wanted it.

Rubi thrust his hips in a soft motion, sliding his cock against Toudai's feminine folds over and over and over again. The two started panting as their faces grew warm with ecstasy.

“You get wet too, huh?” Rubi voiced, his words husky.

“Wh-what? Too?”

“Mm-hm.” The white harpy kissed Toudai's side. “We Coravak's self-lubricate from our Hanablav's.”

“Oh.” Toudai tightened his grip. “I think...I think all 'entrances to the wombs' self-lubricate. Whether...their human, animal, or monster...”

“I'm thinking that too.”

Rubi's hips moved faster. Toudai started moaning softly as the pleasure built. A pressure began to build under his stomach, a coil that was building with each passing moment. Along with it came an undeniable urge to be penetrated, to feel Rubi deep inside him. Oh, how he wanted Rubi's cock.

“He-hey,” Toudai said, lifting himself up a bit.

The tip of Rubi's cock aligned with his entrance. The harpy inhaled deeply.

“Can I put it in?” Rubi asked.

“Don't make me say it.” Toudai grumbled.

Rubi let out a monosyllabic laugh. “Alright.”

The white harpy sat back on his rump, pulling Toudai with him. The doctor straddled Rubi's legs. The white harpy then put one arm under Toudai's rump, lifting him up and giving him just the right amount of support to keep their hips connected. Rubi's other hand moved. He bent his fingers down, so that his talons pressed against the palm of his hands. He pressed the back of his knuckles against the underside of his cock. He pushed it up. It touched Toudai's entrance again.

Toudai pursed his lips. In the next moment, he felt the tip of the member seep into his feminine folds.

“ _Hah_!” Toudai exhaled heavily in pleasure.

“Hm!” Rubi pursed his lips.

Slowly, Rubi lowered Toudai further down his cock. It felt good until the half-way point, in which it felt like the member was stabbing into his stomach. He knew it was his cervix's, but it still felt like that.

“O-Ow, ow!” Toudai raised himself a bit. “Ow.”

“You okay? What's wrong?” Rubi asked with obvious concern, giving him the support to stay up.

“Nn, too deep. You stabbed my cervix.”

“Cervix?”

“The literal entrance of the womb. Like, you know how an organ has an opening?”

“Yeah.”

“The womb has that too. The thing that...that you're putting your...into...is the vagina. And then you get to the opening to the organ that's the womb. It hurt when you did that.”

“...Huh. Your 'vagina' isn't very long then, is it? We never have that issue with other Coravak's.”

“The vagina is usually only five inches long.”

“Mm. Well, I think I'm longer than five inches.”

“Yeah, probably. I'm sure I'll get used to it if we do this often enough.”

Rubi nodded. Then turned his head and kissed Toudai's cheek. “Would it be better to lay you down?”

“...Yeah, probably.”

Rubi nodded again. He then wrapped his arms around Toudai's back and leaned forward. The raven landed softly on his back with Rubi on top of him. The white harpy pulled his arms out from under him and propped himself up on his hands. The two remained connected the whole time, which truly impressed Toudai.

“I'll go slow, alright?” Rubi said.

Toudai nodded.

Rubi pulled his hips back. Toudai pursed his lips to the sensation. He then thrust in.

“Hm!” Toudai moaned.

The white harpy pulled his hips back and forth, back and forth. He rolled his hips slowly in rhythmic thrusts. Toudai moaned with every thrust. Rubi was doing a wondrous job not thrusting too deep, so it didn't hurt the doctor at all. All Toudai could feel was pleasure from the lovely penetrations.

“Hah, ah, ah!” The doctor moaned.

He wrapped one arm around his own torso, tucking his forearm between his breasts. His other hand reached down to start rubbing his clitoris. His index and middle finger made circles around the swollen lump. Rubi cocked a brow but didn't question anything. He didn't care to ask anymore questions. They had talked enough. The only real concern was the physical act they were partaking in.

Rubi bent his arms to rest on his forearms, taking care not to crinkle his feathers. With the new position, he started to thrust faster. Toudai had barely enough space between their bodies, so he could keep rubbing himself. Euphoria was starting to tickle his mind as that pressure built more and more in his pelvic region. He could feel it, the tickles of orgasm and he certainly wanted it. The raven pursed his lips, moaning softly as his hand moved faster.

“Nngh! Hm!”

Rubi's hips also moved faster. The harpy was starting to pant heavily now. Thrust, thrust, thrust, thrust, thrust, Rubi pounded Toudai into the bed. The mattress started to creak as their skin slapped together. Toudai's body jolted over and over and over again. The white harpy rested his forehead against Toudai's as he closed his eyes. The doctor closed his eyes as well, basking in the sensations.

“Fck!” Rubi hissed.

“Y-yeah...” Toudai moaned.

The raven's hips started to jolt as he approached the precipice of orgasm. His hand only moved faster, his whole hand rubbing back and forth to give more friction to the pleasure lump.

“Are you cumming?” Rubi asked.

“Sh-shut up.” Toudai turned his head to the side. “D-don't make me say it.”

“No ejaculation while penetration, remember?”

Toudai paused his actions. Against his inner desire, he stopped his hand—and thus stopped his rising orgasm. “W-wait, it goes both ways?”

“Of course it does, nngh. If you cum while I'm inside you, you'll steal my Minlir. So are you?”

Toudai clenched his teeth. He then closed his eyes tight shut and turned his head away, his ears burning with embarrassment.

“Y-yeah.” Toudai muttered. “I-I'm cumming.”

Rubi nodded. He then pulled out completely, which made the height of orgasm dissipate drastically. Toudai couldn't help feeling disappointed.

However, Rubi banished the thought quickly as he crawled down Toudai's body. He didn't give the raven time to figure out what he was doing, let alone protest. He moved Toudai's hand and, without hesitation, attached his mouth to the doctor's swollen clit.

“HAH!” Toudai arched, his eyes going wide.

Rubi sucked hard on the lump then flicked his tongue over it, making circles, and squares, and random motions that Toudai couldn't process. Pleasure shot up his spine to encase his mind, filling it with the euphoria he had been denied a moment ago.

“AH! AH! HAH!”

Toudai's hands grabbed Rubi's head and pushed him down, so he couldn't remove himself from the doctor's body. Rubi glowered up at him, but Toudai didn't notice. He was so close! So, so close! He was going to cum!

“AHHA! OH!”

The doctor arched harshly, tilting his head back as his whole body fell away into the white heaven that was orgasm. His body jolted, his toes curled, his vaginal entrance clamped down on empty air as every muscle stiffened. Toudai was in bliss and he didn't want to come down anytime soon.

However, inevitably, the high passed and he fell limp against the mattress. He took his hands away from Rubi's head, who immediately sat up and started wiping his mouth on his wing junction of an arm. Toudai took the opportunity to close his legs, applying pressure to his clitoris that sparked remnants of euphoria up his body. His body twitched all over as his toes gripped the bed sheets.

“Nice to know you cum hard.” Rubi voiced. “Nearly drowned me down there.”

“S-sorry...” Toudai moaned.

“I didn't know 'women' leaked so much.”

Rubi reached down and put his hands on Toudai's thighs on either side of his feminine entrance. He pushed Toudai's legs back towards his chest, which made the doctor blush. He then used his thumb, somehow not poking Toudai with his clawed nails, to spread the doctor's entrance open wide.

“It's like I dumped water down here. You're dripping.”

“Sh-sh-sh-sh-shut up! Stop talking!” Toudai kicked his legs until Rubi let him go. “J-j-j-jerk!”

“It's really hot though.” Rubi smiled.

Toudai's ears burned with embarrassment. He openly glared at the white harpy.

“Neh, it's my turn now.” Rubi said, grabbing Toudai's biceps.

The raven moved with him to sit up properly. Once there, Rubi's hands trailed down to Toudai's wrists and pulled them to his pulsing erection.

“You don't want to put it back in?” Toudai asked.

“No, I don't want to take the risk that you cum again.” Rubi stated. “I don't know how sensitive you are, but the last person I was with would cum multiple times, so I'm a little paranoid.”

“...That's reasonable. I don't know how sensitive I am either, so better safe than sorry.”

Rubi nodded. Toudai looked down at the member, the cock twitching and covered in a layer of liquids.

“How...close were you?” Toudai asked, his cheeks burning.

“Pretty close.” Rubi thrust his cock into the raven's palms. “I won't take much longer.”

Toudai hesitated before nodding. He then wrapped his hands around the throbbing length. Rubi exhaled to the sensation. That gave Toudai the courage to do as Rubi wanted. He started moving his hands. It was slick due to Toudai's feminine juices, so he had no trouble gliding his palms up and down the member.

Rubi started panting, closing his eyes so he could bask in the pleasure. Toudai scooted closer and sat on his knees, resting his elbows against his waist to give his arms more leverage to move. He quickened his pace, his hands sliding with better momentum. Rubi seemed to enjoy that as he tilted his head back.

“Ah, fuck...!” The white harpy moaned. “Don't stop. I'm going to cum.”

Toudai obeyed. His hands glided up, down, up, down, squeezing just enough to apply soft pressure. It must have felt good as Rubi started thrusting his hips into his hold.

Rubi then cringed, clenching his teeth and closing his eyes tight shut. His body shuddered as streams of white sprayed from the tip of his cock. It shocked Toudai, he wasn't expecting it to happen so suddenly. However, he didn't stop stroking. The white fluid coated his hands, getting him sticky. Rubi seemed to appreciate that as he thrust his hips into Toudai's hands again.

Rubi finally finished, panting heavily as he sat back on his haunches. Toudai removed his hands from the twitching member, cupping them around each other to keep any liquids from dripping onto his bed.

The two made eye contact with each other. They then smiled, chuckling.

“That was good.” Rubi said.

“I'm glad.”

“Did you enjoy that?”

Toudai blushed before nodding as well. Rubi smiled again.

“Would you be alright taking a bath together?” The harpy asked.

Toudai chuckled. “After having sex, being bashful of taking a bath together would be silly.”

Rubi shrugged. “Well, you're the one who suggested having sex, yet you started losing your composure.”

“I was embarrassed, shut up.”

The two shared a chuckle.

“Alright, come on.” Rubi stood. “Let's take a shower. We'll wipe your hands off too.”

Toudai nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA to anyone who reads Durarara doujin and decides to start scanning or translating: DO NOT WORK WITH YAOI-SEI!  
> As some of you know, I have been translating doujins. I truly liked Yaoi-Sei and was working with her for a while. I then got myself a typesetting, lovely girl, who let me know that Yaoi-Sei has been stealing other groups scans, calling them as her own, and is the reason multiple of these scanlation groups have closed their blogs. If you've been reading DRRR doujins from the beginning, names like Sugar Parade, Sweet Utopians and Violet Scans are well known. All of these groups have announced their dislike of Yaoi-Sei and her thieving ways and Violet Scans has even closed their group because of her, as well as Onigiri Ramens (who posts Naruto doujins). In Onigiri Ramens' case, they had an agreement with a Chinese scanlator group who was giving them free doujins to translate and post and in exchange, Onigiri Ramen wouldn't post them elsewhere. Yaoi-Sei was stealing their scans, and thus the Chinese group retracted their agreement and Onigiri Ramens closed their group. And to add insult to injury, Yaoi-Sei laughed at the groups when they asked her to remove her stolen posts and acted like a 12-year-old, immaturity and all.  
> After finding this out, I asked Yaoi-Sei if it was true and she turned on me completely. I was debating whether I wanted to continue to scan for her and just not give her the stories that were typeset by my new partner. The deciding fact to that decision would be how Yaoi-Sei responded, if she admitted she did this and since it was ten years ago/three years ago, she had finally developed some decency and stopped her ways. Nope. She completely turned on me, removed my credit page from doujin I sent her, then stole it/claimed it as her own. Luckily, I was able to report it as stolen since it had been on my tumblr for months and she waited until after we had fallen out to post them (I sent them to her right after I posted them to mine months ago) and she then treated me the same way she treated the other scanlation groups, laughing at me and being completely immature.  
> There is unfortunately nothing I can do with her other than report my work as stolen when she steals them. I have contacted Tumblr's Help Desk, explaining that Yaoi-Sei has been stealing posts for literally ten years, and her entire tumblr is built on stealing people's posts, however, they simply told me that I need to report her for stealing my stuff and only my stuff. The fact that she's a repeated offender with proof (I have screenshots and articles of everything) doesn't matter to them. And I unfortunately don't have a following on tumblr to get the word out on Yaoi-Sei's behavior. So, I'll post it here.  
> Do not work with Yaoi-Sei. She is a thief and a vile person both in personality and character. Do not follow her on Tumblr and do not support her work. It is ALL STOLEN!  
> If after reading all this and you still like Yaoi-Sei, then very kindly stop following me on every platform (Archive, FF, NewTumbl, Tumblr, and MRM). Thank you!


	14. Chapter 13

Three more days passed.

“Ah, hah!” Toudai moaned.

Toudai sat bent over the bed, his back to Rubi while the white harpy pounded him from behind.

Rubi panted heavily, head tilted back as he enjoyed the euphoria of the sex. His hand held Toudai's hips and pulled the raven onto his cock over and over again. His scrotum's battered against Toudai's clit, sending shocks of pleasure up the doctors body.

“Ah, ah, ah!”

Toudai closed his eyes, basking in the sensations. The coil under his stomach was already firmly in place and only gaining more and more pressure. However, he couldn't reach his hand down to rub himself. Rubi wasn't applying nearly enough stimulation to his pleasure lump to get him to orgasm. He truly wanted to reach down to touch himself, but because he was bent over he couldn't touch it. His hips were pinned against the bed and Rubi wasn’t letting him back up enough to reach his hand in between. So, Toudai would simply have to wait for Rubi to cum.

Luckily, he didn't have to wait too much longer. Rubi's pace quickened, slamming against Toudai's ass with frenzied thrusts. Their skin slapped together as Rubi's claws dug into Toudai's hip. The raven hissed. He didn't like pain, but he didn't want to ruin the mood since it wasn't that big of a deal, so he kept quiet. In the next moment, Rubi pulled out with a groan. One hand left Toudai's hip. The doctor knew he was fisting his own member. Another second later, warm liquid splattered onto Toudai's rump.

Rubi finished soon enough as he exhaled heavily, sitting back on his haunches. Toudai remained where he was. He couldn't move, else semen may drip off him or get on something else. So, he waited until Rubi caught his breath. He didn't take too long to do so. Then he took the tissue from the bedside table and cleaned Toudai off.

Once done, Toudai flipped over and sat on the edge of the bed. Rubi didn't hesitate to push Toudai's legs apart and attach his mouth to the doctor's feminine folds.

“Hah, ah! Ah!”

Toudai folded an arm over his eyes and grabbed the edge of the bed with the other hand. The coil under his stomach tightened with every flick, with every suck. The pressure was building more and more intense. His hips thrust, his feminine entrance clamped down on empty air. He wanted something inside, but he couldn't ask Rubi for that.

Toudai didn't last much longer. The raven arched and called out in ecstasy as his mind went white with heavenly euphoria.

“AAH! HAAH! AAAHH!”

* * *

“Doc! Oi!” Rubi shook Toudai violently.

“W-what?!” Toudai jolted awake.

“You’re bleeding!”

“Eh?”

“Look!”

Rubi pulled the blanket back, exposing that the sheets were red with blood.

“Why is your hanablav bleeding?!” Rubi called in horror. “Was I too rough?! Did I hurt you?!”

“Dammit…!”

Toudai quickly stood and walked pass Rubi.

“What’s wrong?” The harpy asked.

The doctor didn’t want to response. He was mortified and upset that he stained the sheets. He had gotten so good at timing his period and yet once again, he ruined his fabrics. His pants and underwear were soaked red while his white sheets were merely damp. Hopefully, he didn’t bleed through to the mattress.

Toudai reached into the drawers of his dresser and pulled out a clean pair of underwear and pants.

“What’s wrong?!” Rubi called, following him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Toudai grumbled as he turned to the door. “Just pissed.”

“Just _pissed_?! You’re bleeding so much!”

“It’s normal, Rubi.”

“What do you mean normal?! It’s normal for men to destroy your hanablav?!”

“No, that’s not it.” Toudai let out a heavy sigh. “I need to clean up real quick, then I’ll explain.”

“Why are you so nonchalant about this?! Just explain now!”

“It’s a long explanation.”

“Oh, I’ve got _plenty_ of time!”

“Rubi, just—” Toudai whipped around to glare at him.

However, Rubi cut him off by saying, “If I hurt you to the point where your gushing blood from your hanablav, and this is considered _normal_ , then there is absolutely _no way_ we’re having sex again! I don’t enjoy hurting my partners!”

“You didn’t hurt me!” Toudai yelled, grabbing the door handle to the bathroom. “Although I do appreciate your sentiment. Really, that’s nice to know you don’t like distributing pain. However, this is nothing you did.”

“Then what is it?”

“Rubi, I need to clean up.”

“Then clean up.” Rubi reached over Toudai's head and pushed the door open.

Toudai glowered. “You're not going to like what you see.”

“Probably not, but I don't care. I need an explanation.”

The raven let out a heavy sigh then turned away. “Alright, alright. So, listen, you guys lay infertile eggs every day, but mammals don't have that luxury.”

* * *

Toudai lied on the couch, holding his stomach. The cramps began to flow in, twisting his uterus repeatedly. The doctor, unfortunately, couldn't take any pain killers because they gave him a massive migraine that left him more incapacitated than the cramps. It wasn't worth it when they passed in an hour or so. So, it was best to just wait and let them pass.

“Hey,” Rubi said, leaning over the back of the couch. “When are we going to go see Roppi?”

Toudai glowered at him. “Later.”

Rubi glowered right back. “You said we would go at noon.”

“Well, I can't anymore right now.”

“Why?”

“Rubi, I'm in pain. Have some sympathy and leave me alone.”

“Why are you in pain?”

“You know why.”

“You said this 'period' thing doesn't hurt.”

“It doesn't hurt in the sense of an injury. It hurts because the layer of the uterus is peelings.”

“I know, you told me.”

“Well, that peeling layer causes cramps. I'm sure you have had cramps before. Leg pains or arm pains from when you fly for too long?”

“...Yeah, I've had cramps before. But they never hurt that bad.”

“Ever had a cramp in your internal organ?”

“...No.”

“Then you wouldn't understand, you asshole. It's ten times worse. It feels like there's a vice grip on my uterus that won't let go for minutes at a time.”

Rubi glowered. “How the hell would I know that? It's not my fault you're human.”

“And it's not my fault you're a bird.” Toudai growled then rolled over. “We'll go, just give me time.”

Rubi glared at him. He then scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

The harpy turned and went through the kitchen to the hallway. Toudai was left alone, where he would spend the next hour recuperating.

* * *

Four more days passed.

“Hm, mm! Mn!”

Toudai's moans were muffled since his mouth was around Rubi's member. The white harpy was leaning back against the dining room table, a hand resting atop Toudai's head. The doctor was on his knees before him, his hands on Rubi's thighs to keep himself balanced. He moved his mouth up and down the length.

Toudai had little experience with fellatio, but he wanted to pleasure Rubi. The doctor was obviously hormonal and his sexual appetite spiked. With that spike came the desire to do _something_. However, he wasn't willing to have sex with the white harpy when he was bleeding profusely. Rubi mentioned being okay with it, saying something about natural lubricant and they could have sex in the shower. However, Toudai refused. That was so uncleanly and Toudai didn't feel like having sex anyway. He just wanted to pleasure Rubi.

So, with that decided, the horny doctor chose to use his mouth. Rubi wasn't complaining. He probably could, since Toudai wasn't very good at it. He folded his lips over his teeth, but the more he moved, the more his lips untucked and his teeth scraped Rubi. What's more, Toudai would constantly take his mouth off because his jaw hurt, in which he would resort to using his hands.

“Mm, hm! T-mn, km! Mm—hah!” The doctor pulled his mouth off, wrapping his fingers around the member.

Toudai started jacking him. Rubi rubbed the tip of his claw on his thumb against Toudai's temple. It felt strangely arousing, giving a nice sense of danger, which gave him excitement. Toudai's nether regions tingled, giving him that desire to have something burrow inside him.

He ignored it. Rubi's orgasm was the priority for the doctor.

“Will I take your brand if you cum in my mouth?” Toudai asked, still jacking the member towards his face.

“No, it has to be sexual penetration.”

“...Um, Rubi, this is called oral sex. So it is certainly sexual.”

“No, what I mean is, it has to be able to produce a child.”

“Got it...Wait, so does that mean we could have anal sex and I wouldn't take your brand?”

“Anal?”

“Remember, I have two holes down here?”

“Oh, right.” Rubi rubbed his hand through Toudai's hair as he looked up at the ceiling. “Hm. I don't know. I've came in someone's mouth before and my brand is still there. But your ‘anal’ is our hanablav, so I have no clue if it’d count.”

“...Okay. Well, warn me when you cum.”

“I will. I'm really close, so don't stop.”

Toudai nodded. He put his mouth over the member again. He sucked hard enough to hollow out his cheeks, then bobbed his head. He brought his mouth down as far as he could while his hands stroked the rest.

“Hm! Mm!” Toudai moaned.

Rubi pursed his bottom lip between his teeth. His grip tightened on Toudai's hair as his hips started to move.

“Km, mm!”

Toudai gagged as Rubi thrust deeper than he could handle. His cheeks puffed with his gag reflexes as he leaned back a bit. The raven was embarrassed by that, but if Rubi noticed, he didn't acknowledge it. He was too busy basking in the sensations.

Within another few seconds, Toudai's mouth was flooded with sperm. It sprayed into the back of his throat, which made him gag. Toudai's eyes widened and he quickly pulled off. The harpy's cock let out another splurt of white, which splattered on Toudai's face. Luckily, Toudai was quick to close his eyes as liquid landed on his eyelid.

Toudai panted heavily. He didn't want to close his mouth. The taste was absolutely wretched. He didn't think semen would taste that bad, but he was dead wrong.

Rubi gripped Toudai's bottom jaw and tilted his head up. The doctor couldn't open his eyes to see.

“Wow, you look so hot.” Rubi stated.

Such a statement made Toudai blush as his chest flushed with happiness. That was a surprisingly nice compliment. Rubi stared at him for a moment longer before he grabbed a rag from the table.

* * *

Two more days passed.

“AH! AH!!” Toudai leaned forward on one arm, pressing his forehead against his wrist.

The doctor was bent over on his knees in the bathtub, water up to his thighs. Rubi was on his knees as well, sitting behind him and thrusting into him. He held Rubi's bicep as he held it back. His other hand was on Toudai's hip to hold him in place.

“Oh fuck!” Toudai moaned. “Ah, hah!”

Toudai's voice echoed around the bathroom, along with the slapping of skin and the splashing of water.

“Ah, yes!” Rubi groaned, panting heavily. “It's real good, doc!”

“Y-yeah...!”

“Can I go harder?”

“...Su-sure!”

Rubi let Toudai's arm go in favor of holding his hip. With permission granted, Rubi leaned forward and turned his arms inward. His hands rested of Toudai's thighs while his wrists pressed into his hips, squeezing him with his arms.

In a much better position to move harder, Rubi thrust forward with as much strength as he could muster and fast as he could move.

“AH HAH!” Toudai arched as his eyes widened.

Toudai's mind went straight to bliss. Rubi's cock slammed into him over and over and over again, flushing the doctor's body with ecstasy. The harpies scrotum slapped against his clitoris as well. The doctor was going to cum. He was going to...

“Ru-Rubi, pull out!” Toudai called. “I'm cumming!”

The harpy obeyed. He pulled his member out and reached one hand down. He turned his hand backwards and started rubbing the back of his middle and index finger against Toudai's clitoris—doing that to avoid the claws. Rubi rubbed Toudai furiously.

“AAAHHH!”

Toudai's mouth gaped as his mind went white. Orgasm gripped him tight, flooding his vision and body with ecstasy. Rubi continued to rub him which prolonged his euphoria for a few seconds longer.

Rubi stopped, pulling his hand away. Toudai fell limp to the porcelain, panting heavily and shuddering. The harpy leaned down and kissed Toudai's shoulder blade. He then went down on his knees as well and pressed himself to the doctors rump. His erection poked Toudai's anus before Rubi pushed it down. It rubbed against his wet genitalia and in between his legs.

Rubi leaned down and began thrusting his hips again. The harpy started panting as he pleasured himself between Toudai's thighs. The raven pursed his lips and moaned softly. Feeling Rubi's member against his feminine folds made him wish the harpy would put it back in. That they could go for a round two—well, at least he could come a second time. However, he didn't voice it.

It soon didn't matter as Rubi thrust with fervor and all his might. He thrust repeatedly, growling in ecstasy, until he came hard. He sprayed streams of white between Toudai's thighs. It shot into the water and against the doctor's legs. The liquid was so warm, almost boiling, and made Toudai flinch.

Once done, Rubi sat back on his feet, submerging to his waist.

“That felt so good.” Rubi said.

“...Yeah...” Toudai voiced, sitting down in the water as well.

Rubi leaned forward and kissed the back of Toudai's neck. Such a thing made the doctor jolt as his eyes widened. The touch was such a sensual thing and it made his heart flutter.

However, he chose to ignore that. A fluttering heart could only lead to ruin so he had to ignore it.

* * *

Three more days passed.

“Hah, ah!” Toudai moaned. “Nngh!”

The doctor bounced on Rubi's lap, piercing himself on Rubi's cock. The harpy held Toudai's waist, giving him leverage to move as he would. Toudai held Rubi's hips, so that he could switch between using his arms or legs to bounce. His muscles weren't used to this kind of exercise, so he was constantly switching. He hoped Rubi didn't notice. He was doing his best not to stop even though he was panting more in effort than pleasure.

If Rubi had complaints, he didn't make any. He just let Toudai do all the work, panting heavily with flushed cheeks. The most he did was hold the doctor up. Toudai didn't mind. He didn't want him to start moving and they try to make a rhythm, only to screw it up and make it awkward.

“Mm, hm!” Toudai closed his eyes and pursed his lips.

The doctor bounced up, down, up, down. Their skin slapped together with fervor. Toudai slid himself down Rubi's member over and over again. All the while, Toudai's limbs screamed at him to stop. Fatigue was seeping up his body. He needed to take a rest.

But he desperately didn't want to. So, instead, he leaned back, planting his hands on Rubi's thighs. He gyrated his hips to pierce himself on the harpy.

 _Huge_ mistake! As Rubi jabbed straight into his cervix with Toudai's full weight adding to the stab. It felt like Rubi had stabbed the underside of his stomach, which caused the doctor to gasp as the very wind was knocked from his lungs.

“Oh, I felt that!” Rubi quickly tugged Toudai forward. “Are you okay? Did I hit the cervix thing?”

Toudai couldn't answer as he started coughing, turning his head to the side to do so. Rubi sat up and hugged the doctor. His clawed hands rubbed Toudai's back soothingly.

“You— **kaf—** you felt it?” Toudai asked.

“Yeah, I hit something inside.”

“Did that— **huff huff—** hurt you?”

“Not a whit.”

Toudai nodded. _**'Okay, good. Don't want to bend his dick.'**_

“Are you okay?” Rubi asked.

“Y-yeah.”

“You sure? That looked like it really hurt.”

“Y-yeah...” Toudai hugged Rubi close. “Yeah, it did.”

Rubi squeezed Toudai close, then turned his head and kissed Toudai's temple. The doctor's heart fluttered to the gentle touch.

_**'...No, no. This is just sex. It's just sex.'** _

To prove that point to himself, Toudai started to gyrate his hips, slightly thrusting himself onto Rubi's member. The harpy jolted and groaned.

“You minx.” Rubi chuckled.

Toudai chuckled too. Rubi put his hands under the raven's rump, lifting him up. Toudai held Rubi tight as the harpy moved the doctor onto his member. Toudai couldn't do anything to help. All he could do was hug Rubi close and put his feet to the bed to lift himself slightly. As he held himself up, Rubi lifted and dropped him again and again in a thrust.

“Hm, mngh!” Toudai clenched his teeth as he looked up the ceiling. “Ah, hah, aahn!”

_**'Oh, it's so good. But...but I can't cum like this.'** _

Toudai couldn't touch himself like this. He had to hold onto Rubi else he'd fall backwards. All he could do was hold himself up for the harpy as he thrust and thrust and thrust.

Soon enough, Rubi lifted Toudai up completely, pulling out and lying Toudai back. The doctor let Rubi go so the harpy could sit up and fist his member. He stroked himself vigorously until he finally came, groaning loudly and spraying white over Toudai's stomach.

Rubi finished soon enough and exhaled heavily, sitting back on his feet.

The two made eye contact. They then chuckled. Rubi then reached over and grabbed a small rag from the nightstand. He milked his member for a moment, then folded the rag and went about cleaning off Toudai's stomach.

“Hey...” Toudai started, “Is it alright if you put yours inside until I cum?”

“...That's honestly what I was thinking.” Rubi tossed the rag on the nightstand and leaned forward. “Just warn me when you're cumming.”

“I will.”

With that decided, Rubi put his member back inside. Toudai moaned as he pursed his lips closing his eyes to bask in the feeling. Rubi grabbed Toudai's hips and pulled him close until he was fully engulfed with his feminine folds. The two spent time to get comfortable. Then, Toudai started rubbing himself.

Toudai had been close before the cervix-stab. His orgasm had dropped down, but now, as he rubbed his clitoris furiously over and over again, it was quickly building back to that fiery intensity. He clamped down on Rubi as he felt that lovely pressure forming under his stomach. Toudai closed his eyes, so he could focus on the feeling. Oh, how amazing it was to just feel Rubi. To just feel Rubi's full length inside. It gave him such a craving to be ravished, even though he was already penetrated.

It didn't take Toudai very long to cum at all. Within a few minutes, Toudai tapped Rubi's arm furiously. The harpy pulled out while Toudai continued to rub furiously. In another second, Toudai came hard. Clear liquids sprayed out of his feminine folds as he moaned loudly.

Toudai's orgasm passed. He went limp to the bed and began panting heavily. His legs were shaking as he clenched his teeth and folded his wrist over his eyes.

The raven lied still like that for a few minutes, basking in his afterglow. What brought him out of that daze was kiss against his cheek. He jolted and moved his arm to stare up at him wide-eyed. Rubi looked at him then glanced to the side.

“Come on, shower time.”

Toudai couldn’t help glowering at the harpy. _**‘Don’t do that. You’ll confuse me.’**_

However, he chose not to say that aloud. He didn’t want to jump the gun. They had a good thing going and he didn’t want to ruin it by getting sensitive.

* * *

Two more days passed.

Toudai knocked on the door. “Tsukishima? Roppi-kun?”

There was no response.

Toudai knocked again. “Tsukishima?”

Still nothing.

“Delic said they were here.” Rubi voiced.

Toudai cocked a brow. He knocked one more time before grabbing the divot that was the door knob. “Tsukishima? It’s Toudai-kun. May I come in?”

There was no response. Toudai slid the door open and peeked inside. His wild imagination pulled at him that he was going to see a side of Tsukishima he never wanted to see. However, he was happy to see the room was completely empty. He opened the door fully.

“They’re not here.” Toudai stated.

“But Delic said…” Rubi drifted off as he looked at the empty space. He then looked down the hall.

With little hesitation, he started walking down the engawa.

“Roppi?” Rubi called. “Where you at, you pinfeather?”

“Ah, Rubi!” Toudai rushed forward till they were side by side. “We shouldn’t be snooping around.”

“Hey, rednight! Nightshade! Come on out, god of war!”

There was no response. However, as they came up to one of the water closets, the door opened. Tsuki peaked his head out. His button-up shirt had the sleeves rolled up and there was a little bit of water on his hands.

“H-hello, Rubi-san,” Tsuki said. “Um, I-I’m really sorry, bu-but right now is-is a bad time to visit Roppi-san.”

Rubi cocked a brow and went to ask why. However, it didn’t come out as they heard someone vomiting in the water closet. Toudai perked and took a few steps closer.

“Is he alright?” The doctor asked.

“Um, we-we think so.” Tsuki said. “I-I’m pretty sure it’s um, mo-morning sickness.”

“Why the fuck is it called morning sickness,” Roppi yelled from the bathroom, his voice in obvious agony, “When it can hit you whenever it wants throughout the day?!”

Toudai felt sympathetic for the poor bird man. He stepped up to the bathroom. Tsuki looked a bit hesitant, but let the doctor in. Toudai saw Roppi bent over the toilet, the patches of skin across his body were damp with sweat and his talons were curled in obvious pain.

“It was coined that because it typically happens during the day, right as you wake up.” Toudai said. “What have you eaten today?”

“Nothing…I’ve been…” Roppi paused to gag. “Fighting nausea all day. It got…really bad in the last hour…”

“I’m assuming you emptied your stomach.”

Roppi nodded.

“Are you vomiting stomach acid?”

“…Not yet. I don’t think…”

“It’ll be orange. And taste more sour.”

“No.”

Toudai nodded. “Well, unfortunately there is no real cure for morning sickness. There are simple remedies we can do.”

Roppi leaned away from the toilet, flushing it and sitting with his back to the sink counter. Tsuki walked over and grabbed a towel from the sink, in which he rung it out and went about cleaning the sweat, saliva and mucus from Roppi’s face. Roppi went to stop him, seemingly to try and do it himself, but decided against it and just let the blond pamper him.

Once done, Tsuki went about rinsing the towel out in the sink again.

“At this point, I’ll try anything.” Roppi grumbled. “This fucking sucks.”

“Oh, yes, it’s going to.” Toudai walked over and knelt down. “You’re unfortunately going to have to deal with this for the next three months.”

Roppi looked confused.

“12 weeks. The next 84 days, give or take.”

Roppi and Rubi’s eyes widened.

“We believe it’s the hormones in your body changing for the baby and that chemistry in your system is getting twisted. And mind you, at the nine week mark is supposedly when it gets the worse, from what my patience have told me.”

“84 days of this shit?” Roppi balked. “Hell no!”

“Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about it, short of aborting the baby.”

“Aborting?”

“To stop the growth of the fetus in your womb and remove it.”

“Stop the—wait, you mean kill it?”

“Technically, it’s not alive. Well, now it is. See, for a human fetus, it doesn’t develop a heart or a brain until the six-week mark. So, if you were to abort before that time, you would just be removing a mass of flesh similar to a tumor. And there are, of course, medical needs for an abortion. Such as a complication with the pregnancy where the mother will certainly die if they give birth, and the child won’t last a week even with medical care. Or the child has an incurable medical condition that'll leave the child suffering all his life until he dies. In such scenarios, it would be best to abort the baby and let the mother try again if she so wishes to.”

“But…if I didn’t want the baby at all, I could just have this ‘aborting’?”

Toudai made a face. “That’s…questionable. Abortions are kind of new in the medical field. They’re about forty years old now, but there’s still a lot of argument about what’s right and what’s wrong. Because if a man were to kill a pregnant woman, he would be charged with the deaths of both mother and baby. But if a mother has an abortion after the baby has developed a heart and brain, it gets a bit screwy. It is still the woman’s body, after all. She has a right to decide if she doesn’t want a child, for whatever reason, and no one should be able to tell her otherwise. But…”

“But, I’m assuming there are others who would tell her otherwise.”

Toudai glanced to the side. “As of right now, in this town and under Shiki-san’s blessing, I have full legal rights to perform whatever operation I deem important for my patients. So, I can make the call as to whether an abortion is necessary even though there’s nothing medically wrong.”

“Why would you make that call?” Rubi growled. “What could justify stopping a child from being born?”

“Rape cases, for instance.”

Rubi’s eyes widened.

“If a woman were to be sexually assaulted, and couldn’t bare to carry that bastards child to term, I could remove it for her—especially if I deem that she doesn’t have the mental will to make it to term. I’ve only had this case a few times now, and some of them are able to gather their strength and persevere through the pregnancy. But others…others I’ve helped weren’t. And I’d much rather abort a fetus than let a woman kill herself because of a baby. After all, if the woman kills herself, the baby will die too, so the result will be the same—however, if I abort the fetus, then at least one life can be saved.”

Toudai looked back at Rubi.

“I’m sure there were a few Heartstone’s in your clan who would agree with me.”

Rubi glared. Then he glanced to the side in defeat. He couldn’t argue that.

Toudai returned his attention back to Roppi.

“But, yes, Roppi-kun, in short, I could abort the baby. Although, I’m not sure if that would be a good idea. From your x-rays, I can’t rightly determine where the fetus is in your body. I’ve gotten your stomach confused for your womb a few times, so I am not confident I won’t make a mistake if we were to try.”

“Wait, why would you confuse my stomach?”

“Well, I would have to do a c-section if the babies too far along. I could do a suction curettage if it's early enough, say right now. A suction curettage is where I go through your hanablav and cervix to remove the child. But any later, I would need to physically cut the baby out. And for a human, we take all your organs in the way—you stomach, your small intestines—and move them to the side to get to the uterus. Since your uterus doesn't look like ours and you have a gizzard and stomach, it becomes problematic. That is why we have doctors who specialize in helping animals and doctors who specialize in helping humans.”

Roppi’s eyes narrowed.

“What’s more, I would not think this is right. You and Tsuki had a consenting union and you decided to carry his child before Tsuki was aware you could have one. You two are life-mates, so if you were to get an abortion, I believe this is a conversation you should both have and come to an agreement to.”

“But it’s my body.”

“Yes, but you decided to make a child together. It wasn’t as if Tsuki impregnated you then abandoned you. If that were the case, then I could, mayhaps, see why you’d want one. However, that is not the case. And would you really be okay going behind Tsuki’s back to abort the child he was looking forward to seeing?”

Roppi’s brows furrowed, obvious confliction in his gaze. He looked at Tsuki, who looked confused, then cast his gaze to the side.

‘ _ **Wait, is he actually contemplating it?’**_

Toudai didn’t know if that was true, but he decided not to test the waters.

“What’s more, this child will be the end of the Masculine Cues.” Toudai went on. “This baby will be the end to our tradition of normalized rape. If you wish to abort, then you staying here for the last two months or so would be for not.”

“I…get that…” Roppi growled. “I’m not actually…thinking about it.”

Roppi refused to meet Toudai’s eyes.

‘ _ **I don’t fully believe him.’**_ The doctor thought, but again, decided not to prod.

Toudai nodded. “Now, lets get back to what I can help you with. Your morning sickness.”


	15. Chapter 14

Rubi exhaled heavily as he pulled out his cock from Toudai's entrance and fisted it. He stroked himself repeatedly until a stream of white came out, which didn't take very long at all. He groaned with his climax. Toudai flinched to warm sprays landing on his rump.

The harpy leaned back to sit on his haunches. Toudai shuddered, panting slightly as he shifted so he was sitting with his feet under his rump. He sat there, waiting for Rubi to catch his breath. Once the harpy did so, he reached over and grabbed a cloth from the nightstand. He started cleaning Toudai off.

“Alright, you're good.” Rubi said.

Toudai rolled over to rest on his side, looking back at the monster.

“Do you want to cum again?” Rubi asked.

Rubi had gotten Toudai to climax at the beginning, before any penetration had taken place. That had made Toudai so much tighter and Rubi hadn't last long thanks to that.

“No, I'm alright.” Toudai stated, sitting up. “I don't think my stomach can handle another orgasm.”

Rubi chuckled. “Alright. Let's take a shower.”

Toudai nodded and stood. The two left the bedroom completely naked, followed by Shiro who came from the closet. The trio went to the restroom, where Toudai walked over to the bathtub, turning it to hot. He then went to the shower across the room and turned it on too. Shiro went over to the bath, jumping onto the edge to look at the water. Rubi went over to Toudai at the shower.

The two got under the spray. Toudai gasped to the sudden heat but didn't move away. He then grabbed the soap, stepped out of the water so Rubi could get under it, and began cleaning himself. Rubi fluttered his feathers, splashing water everywhere. Toudai glowered, but decided that—instead of complaining—he'd just turn his back on him. He put some shampoo in his hands and began scrubbing his hair.

“Here, switch.” Rubi tapped his back.

Toudai obliged, getting under the spray. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, running his hands through his hair to get the soap out.

“By the way, Rubi,” Toudai said, “Where is your Minlir?”

“Hah?”

“Well, it's been...what? A month-and-a-half since we started this relationship? I think we've seen each other naked plenty of enough times that I've noticed you don't have a heart-shaped birthmark.”

“Oh. It's under my tail feathers. Wanna see?”

“Yeah. One second.”

Toudai finished getting the shampoo out and opened his eyes. He looked at Rubi.

“Alright, go ahead.”

Rubi chuckled. He then turned around and bent forward a bit. The tail feathers lifted up, along with the feathers on his spine and the back of his head. Right above the seam of Rubi's rump was a heart-shaped birthmark—however, it barely looked like a heart since the caved-in part of the rounded top was not caved in, but had a vertical stick-like mark coming out of it. It looked like an arrow with curved sides instead of sharp, pointing down towards his rump.

“...Well...that's...” Toudai chuckled. “Pointing towards the good parts, right?”

“Heh, yeah.” Rubi lowered his feathers, hiding his mark again. “My dad used to make jokes when I was a kid, that when I start looking for life-mates, if any of them mentioned my minlir was cute, he'll know to beat them up.”

Toudai chuckled. He remembered his dad making jokes like that too, although he didn't have explicit birthmarks now. When he was born, he had a mole on the left outer labia, right next to his vaginal opening. However, over the years, it had traveled down and now rested on his inner thigh, so the threats didn't matter anymore.

The doctor lathered his hair with conditioner then grabbed the body soap and began washing himself.

“By the way,” Rubi started, taking the body soap from him to lather himself up, “why do you call it a birthmark?”

“Eh?”

“Our Minlir's. Why do you call them birthmarks?”

“Because that's what they are. They're marks on your flesh that you've had since birth.”

“...Oh. Huh, that's really calling it like you see it.”

“Well...yeah. Things don't need complicated names. What does minlir mean in your language if not birthmark?”

“Breeding mark.”

Toudai stared. “That's a little...”

“Well, it makes sense. After all, if you give your minlir to someone, it's because you intend to breed with them.”

“...I guess that's true. But isn't that also calling it like you see it?”

Rubi paused then made the 'I-don't-know' noise with sass. Toudai chuckled to that.

The doctor walked back under the spray and washed the conditioner out of his hair. The two finished cleaning up, in which Toudai turned off the water and went towards the bath. The tub was almost filled to the brim, making Toudai jolt forward and turn off the faucet.

“Pwah, almost flooded the bathroom—wait, Rubi!”

Rubi stepped into the bath without hesitation and hunkered down. The water flowed over the edge of the tub, making Shiro jump off the edge and run to Toudai. Rubi then began to ruffle his feathers in the water, splashing and flaring his white-and-pink wings over and over again. He then sat up, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Why?” Toudai glowered. “Why do you have to splash everywhere?”

“Cuz its nice.” Rubi whined. “Get in. Do it too.”

“I'm not going to splash.”

Rubi just smiled smugly. “If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.”

Toudai glowered a little bit longer, then let out a heavy sigh. He knew there wasn't a reason to go against Rubi at this point. It wasn't worth it, since Rubi already did it anyway. The doctor walked over and stepped into the warm water. The crystalline liquids flooded over even more. He groaned in annoyance. He then let out another sigh as he sat down in the water. The water flooded even more.

Rubi chuckled. Toudai glowered at him again.

Shiro jumped up on the edge of the bathtub. However, he immediately slipped, thanks to the overflowing water making the edge slick. The white feline fell into the water, the liquids going over his head. Sure, the feline bathed with Toudai regularly, but he didn't like putting his head under the water. So, Shiro started to flail. His claws racked Toudai's thighs, making him call out in pain before he reached out. Toudai grabbed the feline and lifted him up. Shiro shook his head, flinging water every which way.

“You alright?” Toudai asked.

Shiro meowed, his voice sounding sad.

“It's okay.” Toudai lied back a bit, so Shiro could lay on his torso. He put his arm under Shiro's rump to hold him up. “It's okay.”

Shiro nuzzled Toudai's face before licking his chin.

“You alright?” Rubi asked. “I felt claws on my legs.”

“Did he cut you?” Toudai looked up at the harpy.

“Not deep enough to pierce my rough skin.” Rubi lifted his leg and rubbed his hand over the podotheca. “But your skin is softer.”

“No, I'm okay.” Toudai rubbed his hand over his leg, the cuts Shiro left on him already gone. “He missed me.”

“Alright, good.”

Rubi smiled as he reached out. He rubbed the back of his claws against the back of Shiro's neck. The cat purred.

“Does he follow you everywhere?” Rubi asked.

“Yup.” Toudai patted Shiro's head. “Everywhere.”

“He's a loyal beast, isn't he?”

Toudai smiled, looking down at the cat with adoration. “Yeah. I love him so much.”

* * *

“Remain close to me, Rubi.” Toudai said. “You do not want to be lost in the crowd.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Rubi grabbed Toudai's wrist to do just that. The two were in the food market of the town, which on a Friday afternoon was bustling with life. Toudai had worried about bringing Rubi out in public on one of the busiest days of the week. But the harpy said it was a good idea, so he could see what the town life was like. After all, Rubi had been very obedient for the month-and-a-half, never leaving the house without Toudai and only going to the Kaikyo house. It was high-time the doctor stopped hiding Rubi like a fugitive.

And thus, why they were out and about now. Rubi had listened to Toudai's request to wear less-revealing clothes. Although he was wearing shorts and a croptop. His shorts were white and rode up high on his legs, so they didn't chafe the podotheca's. The backless croptop was being held up by a thin spaghetti strap around his neck and a crosshatch over his back. Such an outfit was obviously revealing, but Rubi compensated for that by wearing a sash-like loincloth over the bottom of his croptop. The sides were open till the top—which had a sash laced into the loincloth to connect both sides—and the back was shorter than the front, so that it didn't overlap his tail feathers. However, it hid his exposed stomach and short shorts.

The crowd didn't give them much breathing room. Toudai had assumed everyone would want to give Rubi some space, but apparently not. The mothers in the crowd didn't seem to care as they moved from stall to stall, picking up their dinner ingredients. The kids gawked and pulled on their parents to point Rubi out, but they parents told them to ignore them or to not to stare. Relatively tamed responses that Toudai wasn't expecting—but was honestly grateful for. He didn't want Rubi to feel stressed on his first official outing.

“So, what's the point of all this?” Rubi asked. “What's the point of all these humans coming around to look at food?”

“Well, they need to make dinner.”

“So, these people in the little huts are níngekaj?”

Toudai looked at him curiously.

“To gather food. We also have nínlógaj, 'to provide food'.”

“...So, I'm just asking for my own understanding. 'Food' is _nín_. Is 'to gather' _gek_ and 'to provide' _lóg_?”

“That's right.. Although 'to gather' is _gekaj_. 'To provide' is _lógaj_. 'Gather' is _gek_ and 'provide' is _lóg_.”

“...So, _aj_ is to make the word a present tense verb—to make an action.”

“I don't know what a verb is, but yeah, it's to indicate an action.”

Toudai nodded. “Is your language complicated?”

“...I don't think so. Not compared to your human language.”

“Well, Japanese is one of the hardest human languages to learn.”

“...Wait, there's more than one human language?”

“Oh, yes. We're a diverse species, so people on this island only speak this language. People on the mainland speak a different one, although it is pretty similar. Japanese is the one we're speaking.”

“...Huh, I didn't know that. Does that mean you speak different languages based on where you're from?”

“Right. Do monster's not have that?”

“Not really, no. A lot of the time, we speak languages based on species. So, us Heartstone's usually don't speak the language of the kappa's.”

“Huh.”

Rubi nodded, then slid his hand down a little further Toudai's wrist. His clawed fingers touched the doctor's palm. Toudai's eyes widened to the feeling.

“So, what do we need to make this 'stir fry'?” Rubi asked.

His fingers intertwined with Toudai's. The doctor's heart started to pound faster. Toudai didn't look down. He didn't want to bring attention to what was happening in case anyone questioned their relationship. He just looked up at Rubi silently. The harpy tilted his head in confusion with a smile on his face.

_**'Maybe...Maybe Heartstone's hold hands regularly without romantic interest.'** _

Toudai didn't know what to do. He wanted to hold his hand, he wanted to be affectionate towards Rubi and he loved the attention, even if it was unintentional. However, he couldn't allow this to happen. He couldn't allow affection to bubble. He couldn't get attached. It was just sex...

Toudai pulled his hand away. “We're going to need a lot of vegetables. What kind of meat do you want for it? We can have beef or pork—er, dugima and the smelly animal we took the compost pile to a while ago.”

Rubi looked down at his hand with confusion, then back up at Toudai. “Are those the only meats you humans eat? You don't eat bird or ninta—er...I think it's called deer in your language...”

“There is deer. We call it venison. And we do eat birds—like turkey and chicken, even duck and quail sometimes. But...um, you're part bird. Is that okay for you to eat?”

“Why wouldn't it be? Hawks eat sparrows all the time.”

“...Well, I guess that's true.”

“I like eating birds. We have chickens in the clan—free range animals. I've seen a lot of them around the town, so I was wondering if they're 'pets' or food.”

“There food, usually.” Toudai turned away, heading towards the first of the vegetables they needed. “We can have chicken stirfry if you want.”

“I'd like that.” Rubi quickly followed, grabbing Toudai's sleeve. “Wanna mix beef and chicken together? They're really good meats.”

 _ **'So, I was just mistaken. I was only mistaken.'**_ “...Sure.”

* * *

“Hey, nightshade!” Rubi called from the top of the hot spring house. “Come on! Stretch out your wings!”

Roppi glowered, glaring up at Rubi with annoyance.

“I can't, dammit.” He muttered.

“It's alright for you to fly for now.” Toudai said.

Roppi cast him a side-long glance. “Tsugaru said I shouldn't.”

“Well, Tsugaru doesn't know what he is talking about...No, I shouldn't say that. Tsugaru has good intentions, since you could injure yourself while flying. However, it is good for you to get as much exercise as you can while you can. After all, once your baby bump starts to show, you won't be able to fly until the baby's born.”

Roppi turned his head fully to look at him wide-eyed.

“I told you when we first met. Don't you recall? That if a bird were to develop a baby bump, it would change their center of gravity and make it hard, potentially impossible, to fly.”

Roppi stared at him with a wide-eyed glower. He then clenched his teeth and looked at the ground with a glare. Confliction was obvious on his face. Toudai didn't know why, but Tsuki looked at him with concern. The blond then turned his head away with a look of guilt.

 _ **'Did something happen?'**_ Toudai wonder.

“Rednight!” Rubi called, hopping off the roof and becoming airborne with one mighty flap of his wings. He flew across the small space and landed on the roof of the house. “Come on, lets go flying! It's going to rain soon, so we'll both be stuck inside till it ends. So long as we don't go into the woods, it should be fine, right? A bunch of people will see us, so I won't be alone with you.”

Roppi looked up at him. He then looked at Tsukishima. The two made eye contact but Tsuki quickly broke the gaze by looking to the side.

_**'Something definitely happened.'** _

“Alright.” Roppi said.

The black harpy flapped his wings rapidly. Toudai could tell he was straining a bit. His wings were flapping way more than needed to get his tiny body airborne. But airborne he was. He flew up to the roof. Rubi took a step back, disappearing out of Toudai's sight.

“Ple-please, don't go far.” Tsuki called up, standing, “If you nee-need to land anywhere, la-land on a roof, so-so no one can—”

“As if I would land on the ground!” Roppi yelled down, annoyance obvious in his voice. “Stop telling me what to do!”

Tsuki fell silent, a look of hurt crossing his face. With that, Rubi and Roppi flew off. Tsuki let out a heavy sigh as his head hung low.

“What happened, Tsukishima-kun?” Toudai asked.

Tsuki looked at him. The teen looked like he was going to cry, but he was keeping his composure. He then glanced to the side.

“I...We...We're fine. It's just...”

Toudai patted the engawa next to him, beckoning him to sit down. “Completely confidential. I won't tell anyone.”

Tsuki broke easily. He didn't want to—it was obviously by the confliction on his face—but it seemed he also didn't want to hold it in. The blond took the two steps over and sat down.

“What's wrong?” Toudai asked.

Tsuki hesitated. “So-so...Ro-Roppi-san and I have been...Roppi-san's been talking abou-about feeling caged. He says he...he wanted to be my life-mate to have a baby with me, not to birth a political icon. He hates that our union has become a power-play. He said...that I just used him, but h-he was the one who seduced me and I didn't know we could make a baby, so why in the _hell_ is it my fault things turned out like this?! I...Krh!”

Toudai truly felt bad for him as soon as he heard it. It wasn't fair to blame Tsukishima for any of this. Nor was it far that Roppi's perfect wedding was ruined to make a statement. It was for the greater good, of course, but it still certainly wasn't fair. Their relationship went from earnest affection to a Romeo and Juliet tale. Toudai could only hope for a better ending for them.

Toudai patted Tsuki's back. “Roppi-kun is going to have hormonal fluxes during the next six to ten weeks, so he's going to have mood swings during that time. He is very emotional right now.”

“I'm trying to support him.” Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut. “I really am. I've been by his side every morning when the morning sickness gets him. I've been catering to him, so he doesn't have to leave the bedroom since he feels like Tsuga-nii hates him. I'm with him all the time! But I just feel so lonely! I just...”

Tsuki took off his glasses. He rested his elbows on his knees and let his head droop.

“I'm getting second thoughts about this union. I was so certain when I agreed to it, but now...”

“You're stressed. Everyone has made your marriage harsher than it needed to be. You—”

“It's not even a marriage!” Tsuki yelled before his voice dropped with defeat. “We're not even married...”

“You agreed to be life-mates with him. By the laws of his clan, you're married. But I'm sure if you talk to Roppi, he'd be willing to having a proper ceremony with you.”

“Doubt it. He doesn't like doing things outside of his convention. He's always complaining about having to do anything that differs from his clan's way.”

“...It sounds like you two need to have a talk. If you're going to be in a happy relationship for the rest of your days, then you need to have a heart-to-heart.”

“...He doesn't like sentimental things.”

“Well, he's going to need to. Else he risks losing you.”

Tsuki fell silent.

“You need to speak with him, Tsukishima-kun. Else you'll continue to be unhappy with each other.”

“...Okay...Okay.”

Toudai smiled softly at the young man. “As for Roppi and Tsugaru, it may be best for you to try moving out.”

Tsuki's eyes widened. “But...but Tsuga-nii told m-me I don't have to leave. He-he told me he doesn't want me to leave since he doesn't trust ot-others not to mess with R-Roppi-san.”

“However, if Tsugaru and Roppi-kun keep bumping heads, it'll only add to your unhappy situation. So, I would suggest you try to move out. Talk to Kadota-kun about starting construction on a place, or look into what houses are on the market. I'm sure Shiki-san would be willing to help you find a suitable home.”

“You...you think so?”

“I'm certain of it. Shiki-san wants your union to succeed, so I'm sure he'd be more than willing to—”

The sliding paper door opened with a hard slam. The two jumped and looked over their shoulders. Tsugaru stood before them. His eyes bore down on Toudai with a glare.

“Toudai-kun, I need to speak with you.” The blond stated. “Now!”

The doctor stared at him for a moment before nodding. “Excuse me, Tsukishima-kun.”

Toudai stood and went over to Tsugaru. The blond closed the door behind them and led the way into the house. The two went into the farthest room from the front door—the room that used to be their parents room, but now served as a guest bedroom. Tsugaru held the door open for Toudai. The doctor stepped through, in which the blue blond closed it behind himself.

“Do _not_ speak to Tsukishima about moving out!” Tsugaru yelled. “You have absolutely _no right_ to suggest Tsuki abandon his home, especially for a self-righteous, conceited monster!”

Toudai cocked a brow in confusion. “I hardly think Roppi-kun is self-righteous. Nor do I think he is conceited if he's willing to abandon his clan and all his worldly possessions for Tsukishima.”

Tsugaru glowered. “You have no right to speak. You do not have to put up with him.”

Toudai glowered right back. “Regardless, if you and Roppi-kun are butting heads, then it is best that they move out. After all, they are going to be having a baby. They should have their own space with their own—”

“They have plenty of space here! We have no shortage of rooms, nor water closets, nor footage! There is no need for him to leave!”

“So, you would rather they never gain independence? You wish for Tsukishima-kun to remain your baby brother even as he struggles to raise a baby of his own? Is that why Delic-kun hasn't moved out either?”

“Do not question the way I take care of my siblings!”

Toudai didn't like hearing that. It reminded him of Tsugaru's bastard father, Tsushiro. How he had been so controlling and hadn't wanted anyone to take care of his children but him—even though he didn't take care of them at all. Tsushiro had the mentality of 'No one gets to tell me what to do with my kids', and such a response from Tsugaru sounded similar.

“He's going to struggle even more if he tries to do this on his own!” Tsugaru continued. “He needs us, and so he shall remain here!”

“He is married, Tsugaru!” Toudai stated. “He needs to stand on his own two feet and become a proper man!”

“You of all people are not allowed to talk about what is a 'proper man'!”

Toudai's eyes flared with rage. “Whether I know or not is not the case! Every man, woman, and child can tell you that an adult should move out of his home and become independent—especially if they are married!”

“They're not married!”

“Then what else would you call their union?! A temporary relationship?!”

“Preferably, yes.” Tsugaru crossed his arms as his voice softened with a cold tone. “Tsukishima has only known Hachiman for one day before he decided to 'marry' him. Once that child is born, I think it for the best that Hachiman return to his clan.”

Toudai's eyes widened. “Are you trying to break them up?”

“I am not deliberately trying to, no. However, Hachimenroppi takes every complaint and correction made towards him as an attack to his person. What's more, I have witnessed him hitting Tsukishima when he gets angry. The only reason I have not forced their separation is because of that damned child.”

Toudai cocked a brow. “Tsukishima didn't mention any act of violence against him.”

“Why would he? He hasn't mentioned much of anything untoward about Hachiman.”

The doctor hesitated for a moment. “...Personally, I do no fully believe that. Your claims seem exaggerated.”

Tsugaru's eyes widened with rage. “How _dare_ you?!”

The blond took a step towards Toudai as his face lit with hatred. That certainly surprised Toudai, who took a reflexive step back.

“Exaggerated claims?!” Tsugaru yelled. “Then did I exaggerate when my father broke my arm for the third time?! Did I exaggerate the beatings I had to endure while Tsukishima remained blissfully ignorant of our fathers wrath?!”

“This situation and that are not the same! You and Roppi just don't get along and—”

“No, but it'll certainly become the same if I allow that monster to remain with my brother! Tsukishima doesn't stand up for himself! He's never stood up for himself! Hachimen will certainly take advantage of that! He is a very angry individual and unlike you, I _know_ he is because I've seen it! However, at the end of it all, it is absolutely _NONE_ of your business! This is _my_ family and I will take care of them the way I see fit!”

“That is an arrogant thought process! You shouldn't—”

“Says the arrogant crossdresser!”

Toudai jolted as his eyes stretched wide with rage. “You—”

“If you want to be a man, then know that as the head of the family, I will do what I deem necessary to keep my siblings safe! And you have no right to butt in and make decisions on my behalf!”

“Is that not the same logic your father used? 'These are my kids and I'll do what I want!' 'No one's going to raise my kids but me!'”

“I AM NOTHING LIKE MY FATHER!”

“And yet you scream just like him!”

Tsugaru's hands started to shake with obvious rage. They clenched into fists, which, admittedly, made Toudai nervous. The doctor took another step back. Would the blond lose his temper and hit him? Toudai was a man, after all, so it wouldn't be unnatural for him to get into a fist fight with another man.

But Toudai wasn't a true man. He wouldn't be able to put up a good fight—no, wait, that was wrong. It wasn't that he wasn't a man. He couldn't think like that. No, it was because he wasn't a strong person, physically, and Tsugaru was a good head taller than him. The blond obviously had the advantage.

However, all his fears were ill-placed as Tsugaru inhaled deeply to calm himself.

“You have overstepped your bounds.” The blond said in a stern voice. “You have absolutely no right to say such degrading things to me.”

Toudai was quiet for a moment. After all, the blond wasn't wrong. He didn't have to go that far He could have kept his opinion to himself. And after the trauma that Tsushiro inflicted on the oldest blond, it was cruel to assume he would be anything like his father.

However, Toudai wouldn't admit that. Not only was there a small, small chance that Tsugaru would follow Tsushiro's example, the anger was speaking for Toudai at this point—and with it came a bout of peremptory .

“I say it because it has crossed my mind.” Toudai stated. “If you had not reminded me of Tsushiro, then I would not have said it.”

“YOU—!” Tsugaru stopped himself.

The blond inhaled deeply again, closing his eyes and clenching his fists. He then exhaled heavily. When he opened his eyes, he looked at Toudai with an eerie calm.

“I believe it is time for you to leave.” The blond said.

Toudai was shocked to hear that. He wasn't expecting such a cut-and-dry response. He expected more yelling. He hoped Tsugaru would apologize and realize Toudai was right. He was not expecting Tsugaru to kick him out.

“What about Rubi?” Toudai asked.

“I will let him know you left. Or he will see you as he flies back. Either way, Toudai-kun, you need to leave.”

Toudai wanted to argue. He was angry about the blonde's decision and felt that Tsugaru was the one in the wrong. He started the argument, after all, so it wasn't fair that Toudai was being punished. However, Toudai did say something heinous. And, honestly, wanting to stay was just him feeling vindicated. Him trying to stay would just be him embarrassing himself since he refused to admit defeat. It just wasn't worth it.

Toudai nodded. “Very well.”

The raven turned away and went to the door. Tsugaru didn't follow him. Toudai walked down the engawa. Tsukishima had disappeared from the backyard and Delic hadn't been there when they arrived, so he didn't have to explain to anyone why he was leaving. He walked through the house and went to the front door. Within minutes, he had his shoes on and was leaving the house behind.

“Hey!” Someone called from above him.

Toudai looked over his shoulder to see Rubi and Roppi on the roof. The white harpy hopped down, flapping his wings to slow his descent. Roppi stared at them from the above.

“Were you going to leave me behind?” Rubi asked.

“No.” Toudai stated. “It was just time for me to go. So, I was going to wait for you outside.”

“Ah, okay.” Rubi looked up at the black harpy. “See you tomorrow, nightshade.”

“...See you.” Roppi said.

The black harpy turned and flapped his wings, hopping along the roof until he was over the crest and out of sight. Toudai watched him go, as did Rubi. Then the doctor let out a heavy sigh and went towards the front gates.

“What's with the sigh?” Rubi asked, falling in step with him.

“Tell you when we get out.”

Rubi cocked a brow, then nodded. The duo made it to the gate, where the doctor opened it for Rubi. The white harpy stepped through. Toudai closed the door and the two started their journey home.

Toudai opened his mouth to speak. However, he paused as he felt a drop of water hit his head. He looked up at the gray sky. So did Rubi.

“It's raining, huh?” Rubi growled.

“Hopefully, we can get home before we get too bad.”

Rubi nodded. He looked at Toudai. “So, what was with the sigh?”

Toudai looked at him. He then let out another sigh and glanced to the side. “Tsugaru is being unreasonable. He is causing strife between Roppi-kun and Tsukishima.”

Rubi immediately glowered. “Wait, he's trying to sabotage their pregnancy?”

Toudai was a little surprised to hear Rubi sound annoyed by that. A part of him thought Rubi would be hopeful, that if Roppi and Tsuki broke up then Rubi would have another chance. However, that didn't seem to be the case as genuine anger crossed the white harpy's expression.

“No, I do not think he would go that far.” Toudai said. “Nor do I think he's doing it intentionally. However, it is quite apparent that he does not like Roppi-kun.”

“What's not to like? Sure, Roppi's rough around the edges, but he's a really caring guy.”

“Apparently, Roppi-kun has been displaying physical violence towards Tsukishima.”

“Oh, beibaig! Roppi's not _that_ violent!”

“...So, he does get violent.”

“...He's got anger problems, sure, but he's never hit anyone. He didn't even hit me when I said that shit to him way back when. He'll punch walls or dig at the ground, but that's it. He's never hit anyone.”

“Well, Tsugaru says he's witnessed the abuse.”

“And did Tsuki say so?”

“He didn't bring it up. But he seems genuinely unhappy.”

Rubi glowered. “...Yeah, Roppi talked to me a bit too. Getting Roppi to open up is like tearing bark from a tree. So, he must be stressed if he's willing to talk.”

“What did he speak of?”

“That he wanted to love Tsukishima earnestly, but this whole pregnancy has become a statement. He just wants to have his baby in peace.”

_**'Okay, that matches what Tsukishima said.'** _

“Well, another cause for complaint from Tsugaru was that he doesn't like the fact they got pregnant on the first night.”

Rubi stared at him, then glanced to the side. “Well, I don't think anyone likes that they got pregnant on the first night.”

“However, it was the decision that they made. And it is not right for any one of us to judge them for it. But it seems that Roppi-kun and Tsugaru are bumping heads. Roppi-kun already has to deal with more stress than the average pregnancy, so Tsugaru needs to stop adding more to the pile.”

The small droplets of rain became a light drizzle now. Toudai's shoulder and top of his head was getting wet.

“...Hm.” Rubi rubbed his hand through his feathers atop his head, flicking water. “Well, there's not much they can do right now. It's not like Tsukishima will be welcomed in the clan, and then we'd be have that whole 'who knows who the dad is' crap again.”

“Yes, but Tsukishima and Roppi-kun could move out. Kadota can make them a home, Shiki-san would certainly help fund it.”

Rubi's eyes widened. “Wait, they can do that? They can just make their own home?”

The rain started to pick up. Toudai hugged his coat closed, crossing his arms.

“Yes.” Toudai said. “Everyone is expected to do that.”

“Expected? Really?”

“Yes, a child can't remain in his parents house forever. When they become an adult, especially if they have a child on the way, they should move out to make their own home. Similar to how when wolf pups grow up, they need to leave the pack to make their own.”

“Oh. Well, that's very different from the clan. We have separate huts depending on the group. So, the rookery-kin's all sleep in the same hut, the titem, the xalaj, the níngekaj and ninlógaj share a hut, there's the ilmi hut—our healer—then the Ómgotis and Ómgotoris den.”

“There's no private huts?”

“No.”

“Where do the pregnant...ninemil...s?”

“That's right, ninemil's. The one who receives.”

Toudai nodded. The rain only got worse. Toudai's shoulders and head were certainly soaked now.

“Ah, jeez.” Toudai bemoaned, raising his sleeve over his head. “Why did it have to start raining now?”

“Here.”

Rubi raised his arms too. One feathered wing he put over his own head. The other, he put over Toudai's. The raven was surprised by that. That was such a generous gesture. So kind-hearted. So sweet. Toudai's heart fluttered.

 _ **'Ah, no.'**_ Toudai shook his head. _**'That is not something to get your head in a tizzy about. He's just being nice.'**_

“Thank you...” Toudai said, smiling at him.

“Yeah, you're welcome.” Rubi said. The two continued to walk. “Anyway, the new ninemil's stay in the rookery-kin hut. I think the human word for it is 'nursery'.”

_**'...See, he's just being nice.'** _

“Doesn't that get crowded?” Toudai asked. “So many ninemil's with their babies?”

“We usually don't have that many in the hut at one time. We have one that stays in there permanently. They're named Aoi. They weren't very good at hunting and certainly weren't very good at guarding, but they found their element at taking care of the babies. They're our most experienced ninemil and they help the other ninemils—especially the first-timers. Aoi is kind of like you, assisting through the pregnancy and the sort, although they actually had children before.”

Toudai tried not to take offense to that.

“Anyway, the ninemil hut is pretty big, but it's not the biggest in the clan. The biggest is the yekni hut—the hunter's hut, where the níngekaj and ninlógaj sleep.”

“How do you guys...well...” Toudai trailed off his cheeks started to burn.

“How do we what?”

“Well...I mean—Ah, are your wings getting heavy?” Toudai looked up. “You won't be able to fly like this. Are your arms straining?”

“Nice subject change.” Rubi chuckled. “Nah, it's fine. I can rest my arm on my head.”

_**'But you're not resting it on my head.'** _

Toudai felt happiness again. He felt special again.

But he couldn't let that get to him.

_**'Stop it, he's just being nice. He's just being nice.'** _

“But anyway,” Rubi said, “You were saying. How do we what?”

Toudai blushed as he glanced to the side. “It's not important.”

Rubi looked at him. Then grinned as he leaned over.

“I beg to differ,” Rubi whispered in his ear, “As if it's nothing when you're face is so red.”

Toudai's heart skipped a beat as he felt a twitch in his undercarriage. The sensual nature of such an act—oh, how hot that was! That was so smooth and so seductive. But they were in public—even if no one was around—so Toudai couldn't say anything. He couldn't react at all, just in case someone was watching from their window or something. So, Toudai had to put up with this blond man whispering in his ear.

“So?” Rubi continued in his sultry tone. “How do we do what?”

“You...You're being...provocative.”

“Oh, no. I have to speak close to your ear. The rain is so loud, after all.”

Toudai blushed to his shoulders.

“But if you finish your question, then the conversation would be over.”

“You're such a...tease!” Toudai turned his head away, putting his hand over his ear. “You...sexual deviant. You...!”

“I can't pull away until you tell me.”

The raven glowered. But he couldn't argue. “I...I was just wondering...if you don't have personal huts, how do you have...sex...? How do you make a baby if everyone is...around...?”

Rubi held back a laugh. “And you tried to imply _I_ was the one with sex on the mind.”

Toudai glowered at him as his ears burned.

The blond chuckled and leaned away to speak normally. “Well, technically we have a miniu—a breeding hut. With curtains and soft moss. But it's fallen out of style with our generation.”

“I can only imagine. That sounds more like an orgy pit than a room for sensual lovemaking.”

“Yeah, a lot of the recent generation agree.”

 _ **'So, he knew what an orgy was, huh?'**_ Toudai decided not to mention that.

“We've got those old-timer's telling us that it's improper to rendezvous in the woods for privacy.” Rubi continued. “But, you know, hearing your best friend having sex in the next bed over is a little not my style either.”

“Only a little.” Toudai chuckled.

“Just a wee bit.”

“Just a _wee bit_.”

The two shared a chuckled.

The rain only got stronger. Rubi shivered and moved closer to Toudai, pressing against his side. The poor bird was certainly cold in those loose-fitting, revealing clothes. Toudai wrapped his arm around Rubi's shoulders, letting his dry sleeve drape over his back. Rubi looked at him, then smiled. He put his arm around Toudai, rested his elbow on his shoulder, and extended his wing over both their heads.

Toudai's heart fluttered anew. It made him so happy to be able to hold someone like this in public. He felt so loved. And they weren't exposed since it looked like they were huddling for warmth. Men did that, surely. It was raining and cold, who wouldn't huddle for warmth? What's more, this was still just Rubi being nice. There were no ulterior motives. He couldn't get confused by this. He shouldn't get confused by this. Toudai could get away with this one affectionate act.

“So, I'm going to cut the conversation short, but let's get home quick.” Rubi said. “We can talk about Roppi and Tsuki in a warm bath.”

The happiness immediately twisted with disappointment and a bit of jealousy. However, he ignored it. Of course, the conversation would return to Roppi. That's why they were talking about beforehand.

Toudai smiled up at him. “Yeah, let's do that.”

* * *

“You really don't have all that much to do on a day-to-day basis, do you?” Rubi asked.

Toudai looked up from his notebook at him. The harpy was reading a book as well. His pink eyes didn't shift from the page as he spoke.

“No, not really.” Toudai responded, looking back to his book. “There aren't that many women in the town who need to see a gynecologist regularly.”

“What is a gynecologist, by the way? You introduced yourself to my PowPow as that but I'm not sure if he actually knew what that was.”

“It's a doctor that specializes in women's health.”

“Just women's health?”

“Yes.”

“Why is there a separation of the gender? Isn't medical attention something everyone deserves?”

“Yes. We do have two doctors who give medical attention to everyone. But they more so take care of general health, like broken bones and illnesses. I specialize in women's genital health, pregnancies, and feminine illnesses, like breast infections or uterine abnormalities. As a doctor, I focus on just women's health and the parts that make her a woman.”

“Oh. Okay.” Rubi nodded. “So, how come these other doctors don't?”

“Oh, I'm sure they do. But its more like, if you have a doctor specialize in one specific type of medicine, it makes it easier on the doctors to help the patients. Instead of having one doctor know all, we have multiple doctors know only specific types of medicine so collectively, we know all.”

Rubi looked up at him, putting his book down for a moment. “...So, like...A uh...hunter versus a...forager? Are those the words? You have certain individuals specialize in killing game and bringing home the meat. While you have individuals who go and find berries and edible plants.”

“Yeah, that would be a hunter versus a forager. You got the words right.”

“Okay, good.” Rubi nodded. “Both bring home food, but a forager wouldn't be good killing rabbits and a hunter wouldn't be able to tell poison berries from edible ones.”

“That's a good comparison, yes. They both know how to bring home food, but they are better at bringing different types of food. Us doctors know how to give medical attention, but I'm better at taking care of women's health than general health.”

Rubi nodded. “Does that mean that if a little girl broke her arm, you would take care of her?”

“No, that would be in Kishitani-kun's field. Because broken bones are general health.”

“...Okay, so it's not even about gender. It's about specific things of the gender.”

“That's right.” _**'I said that already.'**_

“So, wait. What constitutes women's health again?”

“Anything related to their genitals, breasts, hormones, or reproductive organs.”

Rubi nodded. “What about 'men's' health? Is there a doctor who specializes with that?”

“Yes. That's a urologist.”

“Okay. What constitutes men's health?”

“Their genitals, hormones, and even behavior—since men are more likely to be reckless. But typically, it's their genitals and prostate.”

“Prostate?”

“A gland between the anal canal and penis. It releases prostatic fluids, which is the clear part of your semen when you ejaculate.”

“...Huh. I didn't know any of that...”

“...Well, the medicine in the clan is pretty limited, I would assume.” Toudai put the book down to look at Rubi. “You guys use medicinal herbs and lack technology.”

“Technology?”

“Electricity. You know, our guns and microwaves and TV. Things that use electricity to make life easier.”

Electricity? Does your town have nature wielders?”

Toudai looked confused.

“Wait, you don't know what a nature wielder is?”

“Why would I? You and Roppi are the first monsters I've ever met.”

Now Rubi looked confused as he cocked a brow. “But isn't one of your parents a...?”

Toudai glowered.

“My dad can't be wrong. He said you're not fully human, so you have to be.”

“And _why_ can't your father be wrong?”

“Because he's never wrong.”

Toudai rolled his eyes. “Well, I'm telling you he is wrong. And even if he wasn't, it doesn't change that I never met my mother, so I wouldn't know.”

Rubi looked at him in confusion. “Really? You never met your _mother_? Isn't that your Ninepow—the one who birthed you?”

“That's right. My mother disappeared not long after she birthed me. My father raised me alone.”

“...Oh. How'd she disappear?”

Toudai chuckled and lifted his book back up. “That's personal.”

Rubi stared at him. “...Alright.”

“Well, anyway, nature wielders...”

“...Right, so nature wielders are the humans who can manipulate the elements. From what I was told, they were taught by fairymentals and other breeds of elemental monsters and became what you humans call 'wizards' or 'sorcerers'. Gradually, it became a kind of bloodline or a...I don't know what you would call it, but a dormant thing that pops up whenever.”

“That's usually called a genetic mutation, but when it comes to magic, I'm not sure.”

Rubi shrugged. “I don't know either. But it can be in a bloodline and randomly show up whenever. The only way you would know is by the nature wielder marks.”

“Marks?”

“Like a 'birthmark'. They're particular black marks that show up on the skin. They'll be in a specific pattern based on the element they have.”

“So, they can only have one element?”

“Yeah. Humans aren't strong enough to use two elements.”

“Hm.”

“Yeah, so, do you have lightning nature wielders to make your 'technology'?”

“No, it's just science.”

“Really?” Rubi looked at him with shock. “You don't use magic?”

“Nope, we don't.”

“That's...” Rubi looked at him with a glow in his eye. “That's really cool!”

Toudai smiled at his enthusiasm. He couldn't relate, since he had been raised with technology. But he was fully aware that technology is new to someone who used sticks and stones to do everything. He didn't think it was special, but he could understand why Rubi found that impressive.

“By the way,” Toudai started, “What are fairymentals? I've never heard of that before.”

“There's probably a lot of breeds of monsters you haven't heard of. Human's tend to only know about the famous monsters. You guys all thought we were harpies, after all.”

“Wait, aren't you?”

“Technically. But we're the same to a harpy as a tiger is to a lion. We're in the same family group, but different.”

“Ah.”

“But yeah, anyway, fairymental's are The Daughter's of Oberon.”

Toudai stiffened.

“They're Four-Crown elementals. Oberon has control of all eight elements, while the fairymental's only have control of four. The four that humans know are water, fire, earth, and air since that's the only ones the fairymental's can use.”

“...Ah, I...see...”

Rubi looked at him with a slight glower. “Am I boring you by answering your question?”

“No, sorry. I was reading at the same time.”

“Were you even listening?”

“I was, yes.”

“Then what did I say?”

“Fairymental's are the daughters of Oberon. They're Four-Crown elementals.”

“...Alright.” Rubi leaned back in his seat, going back to his reading.

An awkward silence stretched between them.

“Wanna have sex?” Rubi asked.

Toudai jolted, lowering his book to look at him. Rubi lowered the book as well to make eye contact with the doctor. They stared for a moment.

“...Sure.” Toudai said.

Rubi smiled and put his book down. Toudai smiled as well and did the same. The harpy stood, walked over, and knelt down on the couch in front of Toudai. The doctor spread his legs to let Rubi come closer, in which the harpy did.


	16. Chapter 15

Toudai groaned. Something heavy was lying on his chest, making it hard to breathe and hard to sleep. He forced his eyes open. The room was pitch black, night still prominent. The only light source in the room was his dimmed down oil lamp. He reached over, moving whatever was on his chest down to his stomach, and turned the lamp up.

With the room illuminated, he looked down to see a prominent, feather-covered arm. He looked at Rubi, confused to see him there. He hadn't fallen asleep with the harpy there. The two had sex, Toudai lied down because he was drowsy while Rubi left to go shower. He certainly wasn't there when the doctor went to bed, nor did he expect to see him there when he woke up.

Seeing Rubi filled Toudai's chest with warmth. He felt an affection swell. Something more than just general sex. Toudai's brows furrowed at the sensation.

He turned his head away.

_**'No, no, no. This is just sex. Just sex. Don't get attached. Don't...'** _

Toudai stared at the harpy's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. So serene. So attractive. So...infatuating. Toudai wanted to touch him. He wanted to place affection on him. He wanted to kiss him. The urge was strong and profound and he didn't want to refuse it. She just couldn't resist the urge to kiss...his cheek.

Immediately, Toudai felt like he shouldn't have done that. He felt a shot of fear go up his back, as if he had just taken a bite from the forbidden fruit. He didn't fully understand why. Surely kissing someone couldn't be more feminine than having sex with someone, right? Of course a man kissing another man couldn't be feminine. Then why did it feel like he did something wrong.

The raven sat up and turned the light down. He then peeled Rubi's arm off and stood. He decided it'd be better to sleep elsewhere tonight. Less these feelings fester. The raven left the room and went into the guest bedroom.

Toudai heard the small trill of his cat by his leg. He leaned down and scooped Shiro up, slinging the kitty over his shoulder. Shiro's tongue came against his sideburn locks. It was a little uncomfortable but Toudai didn't want to stop him. It was such a tender touch.

The doctor went into the guest bedroom, Rubi's room. He kept the door cracked, so Shiro could get out if he needed to. He went to the bed and put the cat down. He then sat down and got under the blankets. He grabbed the clock from the nightstand and turned on the alarm, setting it for 6:30. He then lied back, exhaling heavily and relaxing against the bed.

He smelt a sweet aroma. A musky aroma. A smell of raspberries and tree bark. Rubi's natural scent. He didn't like that he knew it was Rubi's scent. He didn't like that he recognized it. He also didn't like that he enjoyed the smell, that it provided a kind of comfort. He liked the smell. And he certain should _not_ like it.

Toudai sat up again. He left the bedroom, went to the hallway closet and grabbed a spare pillow and blanket. He returned soon enough, where he switched out Rubi's pillow and blanket. He put the harpy's linens on the desk across the room. Once done, he went back to the bed and made it with the new blanket and pillow. He stared at his work with satisfaction.

Finally ready—and honestly, very awake despite trying to go back to bed—he lied back down. He got under the blanket and nuzzled in. The pillow had a stale smell to it since it sat in the closet for so long. He didn't like that, but he would ignore it. It was better than liking his partners...than liking another man's scent. The raven let out a heavy sigh as he forced himself to relax.

Shiro trilled as he moved over. He lied down on Toudai's chest, quickly getting comfortable. The doctor reached his hand up and scratched the side of the cats' neck. He closed his eyes and let his head loll to the side.

* * *

“Toudai...! Toudai!” Rubi growled, thrusting his hips with fervor.

“Ah, hah, AH!” Toudai tilted her head back, holding the harpy's shoulders tightly.

Her mind was in euphoria as Rubi pounded her feminine entrance. Her nails dug into his flesh, tearing into him. Rubi growled as he dropped low. His hips moved faster with the pain Toudai inflicted, egging him on and on.

“Ah, AH! RUBI! Ru-Rubi!”

“Ah, yes, Toudai!” Rubi paused to grind in. “Feels so good!”

“Yeah! Yeah! Har-harder!”

“Yeah...!”

Rubi reached his hand under Toudai's neck. The doctor shifted with him until Rubi was able to hug her close. He then started to thrust again.

“AH! YAH!” Toudai closed her eyes tight shut before burying her mouth into Rubi's shoulder. “Mm! Hm! MNGH!”

The bed creaked with their vigorous movements. The headboard clashed against the wall repeatedly. Their skin slapped together, squelching noises matching every slap thanks to all the juices Toudai was leaking. The blanket was soaked with sweat and vaginal semen, the pillow was damp, Toudai's hair was moist.

Thrust, thrust, thrust, thrust! Rubi pounded Toudai over and over and over again. The harpy was panting hard and groaning, his pale flesh sweaty as well. His claws were gripping the bed tightly. Toudai faintly worried about her blankets getting torn but it was a very fleeting thought.

“MN HM! MMK!”

“Toudai, kiss me!”

Toudai's eyes widened. “E-eh?!”

In the next moment, Rubi's mouth came over the doctor's, his tongue pushing into Toudai's mouth. Her face flushed. It wasn't from embarrassment, but from growing affection; from her heart thudding out of her chest to the passionate kiss.

“Hm, mm, mah!”

Rubi's tongue swirled around in Toudai's mouth. She never realized how amazing a kiss could feel. Tsugaru had been so chaste and tender, peppering her with light kisses and pecks during her first time. She had never experienced a carnal, lustful kiss before. It made her heart skip a beat.

Rubi separated their mouths, the two panting heavily.

“Can I cum inside you, Toudai?” Rubi asked. “Can I put a baby in you?”

Toudai's heart threatened to beat out of her chest. Happiness flooded her very being. She felt so loved. Did such a request mean Rubi wanted to stay with her forever? Did this mean Rubi loved her like she loved him? She didn't know. But she also didn't care. She wanted to accept this feeling. This affection that Tsugaru had only every shown to her. She missed this feeling, this love. She was craving for it and wouldn't throw it away a second time.

“Y-yes! Yes!” Toudai hugged him tight. “Please, impregnate me! Stay with me forever!”

“Okay...!” Rubi growled, his hips moving with fervor. “Okay...! Hey, doc.”

Toudai groaned.

“Doc.”

Toudai jolted, forcing one eye open. He then gasped and raised his head from the pillow. He blinked rapidly, realizing the intense sex he had experienced was just a dream. His hands tightened on the pillow as his eyes widened.

_**'What the fuck was that?! What the fuck was with that dream?! Why did I—'** _

“Bad dream?”

Toudai looked up, realizing the white harpy from his dream was standing before him. Rubi looked down at him with his arms crossed, his wings hiding whatever outfit he was wearing. But Toudai could see his collarbone and the top of a croptop or corset.

Toudai stared up at him, his heart pounding. He didn't know what kind of expression he was making, but from the way Rubi cocked a brow he could only assume it was one that a person should make when just waking up. The raven tilted his head down to look at the floor.

“Ah, what um, what are you doing?” Toudai stuttered. “You woke up early today.”

“...Yeah.” Rubi said. “You slept in a bit too late. You have an appointment at 8, yeah?”

Toudai lifted his head. “What time is it?”

“7:00.”

Toudai rubbed his eye as he sat up. “Shit. Why didn't my alarm go off?”

“I turned it off for you.”

Toudai glowered up at him. “Why?”

“Cuz I woke up early. I knew I could wake you up, so I decided to let you sleep in a bit. We were up pretty late last night.”

Toudai blushed to the words, remembering the rigorous act of unifying their bodies last night. A unity that had nothing to do with making a baby. It had nothing to do with love or affection. There wasn't even a kiss. There was never a kiss. It was just sex to satisfy urges, and that was all. That was all that there should.

Yet, why did Toudai feel this profound longing?

Toudai pushed that feeling down. That wasn't important right now. What was important was the fact that Rubi turned off his alarm. They had sex well into the evening past midnight, yes, but Toudai's alarm was set for 6:30a.m. so he had enough time to wake up and eat. The doctor was certainly annoyed. He had a full schedule today, so now he wouldn't be able to eat until lunch. Although the sentiment was nice, he was truly peeved with Rubi as soon as he woke up.

“Ah, dammit...” Toudai muttered as he flicked the blankets off.

“By the way, I made breakfast.” Rubi said. “It's done, so come eat real quick before your person shows up.”

Toudai's eyes widened. “You made breakfast?”

“I just said that, yeah.”

“What'd you make?”

“Bacon and egg. You like your bacon chewy, right?”

Toudai's chest tightened. He had mentioned that only once. Yet Rubi seemed to have remembered how he liked his food.

“What?” Rubi looked confused.

“...No, I'm...I'm just surprised you remembered that.”

“...But you told me, like, a week ago. Why would I forget that quickly?”

Toudai hesitated. His head was a jumble of expectations and desires and he needed to quell them immediately.

“Ah, you're right.” The doctor cast his gaze to the ground. “I'll be out in a minute.”

“Alright.” Rubi nodded.

With that the harpy left the room. Finally alone, Toudai let out a heavy sigh as he rubbed his hands over his face.

 _ **'Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it!'**_ Toudai clenched his teeth. _**'This is just sex. Why am I getting all fluttery?'**_

Toudai let out a heavy sigh.

_**'Its like I want to catch feelings here...'** _

The doctor then stood, in which Shiro trilled and sat up. The cat stretched his back up then out. He then hopped down and followed after Toudai. The doctor went to the closet to change clothes. Shiro rubbed up against his leg.

_**'I think...I think it's about time I end this relationship. If we keep going like this, I might hurt him—or more-likely, I'm going to get hurt.'** _

Soon enough, Toudai was dressed and left the room. Shiro followed him closely. The doctor went to the restroom, went pee, washed his hands and face, them made his way to the kitchen.

Rubi was already eating. Now that he was sitting, Toudai could see he had on a pink tubetop and his usual kilt and sash on. Across the table from him was a plate full of food and a cup of orange juice. Toudai couldn't help feeling touched that Rubi even plated it for him. Affection bubbled in his chest for the harpy.

_**'No, no, no.'** _

Toudai glowered as he walked over. He sat down across from Rubi.

“Thank you.” Toudai said.

Rubi looked up at him. “Why are you mad?”

“It's nothing you need to worry about. I mean it, though, thank you.”

“...You're welcome.”

Toudai nodded. He then started to eat.

“Did I make it right?” Rubi asked.

“Yes. It's very good.”

“Thank you.”

Silent befell them.

“Did you have a bad dream or something?” Rubi asked.

Toudai glowered at his food. “No.”

Rubi glowered as well, pointing the look at Toudai. The raven glanced up at him, then back down at his food. The blond glowered for another second before rolling his eyes. He put his attention back onto his food.

The two ate in silence, neither saying a word. Toudai was thinking about how to broach the subject of them no longer having sex. He was pondering if that was even necessary or if he was overthinking it. He feared that developing a crush would be acknowledging he's a woman. Would having sex with someone he had a crush on be a womanly thing?

_**'Wait, no! It's not a crush! It can't be a crush! This is just a sex friend relationship! I can't...be developing a crush...'** _

Toudai glowered, clenching his teeth under his lips, so Rubi wouldn't see.

_**'But...men can develop crushes on girls. That's not feminine, so can't I have a crush on Rubi? Ah, no! I can't! If I start liking him, then won't I want to be his woman? So, no matter what, I can't develop a crush! Right?'** _

It was so frustrating. He didn't know the rules of his curse. He didn't know the loopholes. There was just so much he that was unknown to him about the very thing that would ruin his life. Toudai closed his eyes tight and shook his head. He then let out a heavy sigh to calm himself.

“...Are you sure you're okay?” Rubi asked.

Toudai looked up at him. He then glanced to the side. “I'm fine.”

“No, you're not. You woke up angry.”

Toudai glowered at his nearly empty plate.

“What's wrong, Toudai?” Rubi's voice was filled with concern. “You can tell me.”

Toudai's brows furrowed, looking up at Rubi. The concern was so genuine and heartwarming. It made his heart flutter. It made him yearn to hug the harpy. Toudai cast his gaze to the table. Without a word, he continued to eat. Rubi's brows furrowed.

“Come on, Doc.” Rubi said. “You can tell me. I'm a big boy, I can handle it.”

Toudai said nothing as he finished eating. He then stood and went to the sink.

“Toudai.”

His eyes widened. Rubi so seldomly called him by his name. It felt so nice to hear someone say his name—especially someone he liked.

“Come on.” Rubi also stood. “Did I do something wrong?”

Toudai hesitated long enough to steel his emotions. “No.”

“Is it Tsugaru?”

“No.”

“Toud—”

“I'm fine, alright?” Toudai interrupted. He didn't want to hear Rubi's voice say his name. “I'm just tired...”

Toudai finished washing his dishes, rinsed it, and put it in the strainer. He then dried his hands.

“I need to get ready for my patient.” Toudai turned around. “I...”

Rubi held his arms out.

“...What are you...?”

“Do you want a hug?” Rubi asked.

Toudai's eyes widened.

“If you're tired, then you shouldn't be going to your patients angry. Hugs make everything better, so...”

Toudai's brows furrowed with confliction. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to give in and show affection to the man that made his heart flutter. But he couldn't. Things were starting to get questionable now. His head and his heart were starting to get confused.

He tilted his head to the side, casting his gaze to the ground. “No, I'm fine. I don't need anything. Excuse me.”

Toudai kept his eyes to the floor as he walked pass.

“Doc..” Rubi's hand came out to grab Toudai's arm.

The doctor pulled his arm away reflexively. He looked back at Rubi wide-eyed, surprised with himself by that response. Rubi also looked at him wide-eyed. Toudai's heart was starting to pound.

“What kind of dream did you have?” Rubi asked. “You're not okay.”

“F—I'm fine. I...” Toudai clenched his teeth. He didn't know what to say.

Rubi stared for a moment. Then he stepped forward. His wings came into Toudai's vision, which made him flinch. He quickly looked up, however, in the next second, the only thing he saw was Rubi's bare collarbone as he was pulled into an embrace.

“Ru-Rubi...!” Toudai pushed against his chest. “I really need to—”

“I know.” Rubi kissed the top of his head. Toudai's heart ached to the loving touch. “I know, but you need some comfort before you go.”

_**'No, no, no, I can't—Rubi!'** _

Toudai couldn't allow this to go on. He couldn't allow himself to get swept away. Right now was just not a good time. His heart was vulnerable right now and he was liable to make a mistake just from a simple act. He was liable to make assumptions that would ruin everything. He was liable to...

“Rubi, I...”

“It's alright.” The white harpy said, rubbing his cheek against Toudai's head. “It'll be alright. It was just a dream, you know.”

Toudai glowered as he looked up at him. Such a statement really hurt, considering the dream was about being loved. “That's not the issue...!”

“Then what's the issue?” Rubi looked down at him.

Their eyes met. A spark happened. Toudai had never felt such a thing before, not even with Tsugaru. But just by looking at those beautiful pink eyes, he felt an undeniable urge. A desire to throw caution to the wind. He wanted to kiss Rubi. And from Rubi's eyes widening, he felt it too. He had to have.

Toudai went up on his tiptoes. His hands caressed Rubi's shoulders as he brought his mouth closer. His heart was beating in his ears. His head emptied. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to love—

Rubi put his hand over Toudai's mouth. Her eyes widened.

“I told you no kisses.” Rubi said, glowering down at her.

Toudai's heart felt like it stopped.

“I'm willing to comfort you, but not like that.” Rubi took a step back, patting Toudai's head. “My hiistrak is only for my life-mate.”

The raven's heart sunk to her stomach from such a statement. Toudai didn't know how to respond. She—He didn't know what to respond with. So, instead, he grabbed Rubi's hand and pushed it away as he tilted his head down.

“Right...” Toudai turned away.

“But I can still—”

“I have work. Go hide in your room, please.”

Rubi glowered. Toudai didn't care, however, as he turned away.

 _ **'That was a mistake.'**_ Toudai thought.

Anxiety started to twist in his stomach, worry clawing at him. That moment of weakness could have easily brought ruin to him. All because he got confused...

Toudai entered his office, closing the door behind him. He leaned back against the wood and closed his eyes tight shut.

_**'That was such a mistake.'** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💢


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to write this! I don't want to write this! I DON'T WANT TO WRITE THIS! FUCK!

“So, come back next week and tell me how that ointment works out.” Toudai said.

“Will do, Toudai-san.” The old woman replied.

The doctor escorted the woman through the living room.

“Might I ask, where's that strapping young Heartstone you've been letting stay with you?” The woman asked.

Toudai held a strained smile. He didn't want to talk about him right now. But he had no reason not to provide the small talk.

“He's in his room.” Toudai stated. “He doesn't want to disturb my patients, so he waits in there until I'm done.”

“Oh?” The woman took on a sly look as she chuckled. “Are you two sharing a bedroom?”

Toudai's heart skipped a beat as a stab of fear went up his spine. Were they caught? Did this woman know about—

No, she didn't know. She was just being a snoop. She was just making suggestive banter. Nothing bad with that.

“Oh, no, absolutely not!” Toudai chuckled. “Heartstone's only share beds with people they intend to make their life-mate.”

“Oh, really? How proper. You wouldn't expect that from a monster.”

“Yes, it's quite interesting.”

They finally reached the door, in which Toudai opened it for her while she put on her shoes.

“Now, remember, apply the ointment by five o'clock once a day.” Toudai said.

“I will.”

“Have a good day, Eyo-san.”

“You too, Toudai-san.”

She stepped out. Toudai closed the door behind her. He then breathed a sigh of relief. She was the last patient he had to deal with for the day. So, he could finally relax.

_**'Ah, I need to feed Shiro.'** _

Toudai took off his white lab coat and draped it over the back of the couch.

“Shiro!” Toudai called, patting his thigh. “Lunch time!”

There was no response to his call. No trill or pattering of little feet coming up to him.

Toudai patted his leg again. “Shiro, come!”

Still nothing.

Toudai glowered. He walked down the hall and checked his bedroom. The cat wasn't there. He then continued down until he reached Rubi's room. As much as he was loathed to talk to the Heartstone right now, he needed to ask him.

“Hey, Rubi.” Toudai knocked. “Have you seen Shiro?”

There was some shuffling before the door opened. “What?”

“Shiro. Have you seen him?”

“No, he's not in here.” Rubi opened the door wider.

Toudai took the invitation and stepped into the bedroom. The raven checked under the bed and in the closet. Sure enough, the cat wasn't in there. He glowered as worry started to prickle his chest.

“Shiro!” Toudai stood and left the room. He patted his leg and whistled. “Shiro, come!”

There was still nothing.

“Did he get outside?” Rubi asked, walking behind him.

“No way. Shiro's an indoor cat. He's never tried to contest me for the door before. Shiro, come here!”

Silence met him. Toudai went into his bedroom. He checked under the bed and in the closet. He even checked the drawers since he knew Shiro liked sleeping in them and maybe Toudai didn't notice he was in it when he closed it. However, there was nothing there but clothes.

Toudai left the bedroom. Rubi hadn't followed him, but decided to join in the search. The raven could hear him whistling down the hall.

“Here, kitty kitty!” Rubi called.

Toudai went out the bedroom. “Shiro, psst-psst! Shiro, come! Shiro, here!”

There was still no response. Toudai started getting scared now.

 _ **'Where is he? Where...Oh...'**_ Toudai bit his bottom lip. **_'Did something happen to him? Because of my mistake earlier? No, no, no! Please, don't tell me Shiro was punished! Please, don't tell me Shiro was taken from me because my heart fluttered for Rubi? Please, please, no!'_**

“Shiro, come!” Toudai yelled. “Shiro!”

Still no response.

Rubi was in the living room, checking behind and under the entertainment center. Toudai went into his office.

“Shiro!” He whistled as he looked under his desk. “Shiro!”

“Found him!” Rubi yelled.

Toudai jolted and quickly turned around. He rushed out of the room. Rubi was reaching under the couch. He then pulled out the white cat by his front leg. Shiro meowed in protest before hissing.

“Oi, don't tug on him!” Toudai yelled as he rushed over.

Rubi let him go. Toudai knelt down in front of his cat and put his hand on Shiro's back. The cat didn't move. Whenever Shiro was moved unceremoniously like that, he would usually get up in a huff and leave whoever messed with him. But the cat didn't move. What's worse, he was shaking violently.

Toudai's eyes stretched wide. “Sh-Shiro?”

The feline's side was rising and falling in quick, heavy breathes. He was panting like a dog with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

“What's wrong with him?” Rubi asked, looking confused as he reached out to touch the feline. “Why is he—”

Toudai slapped his hand away. Rubi looked at him wide-eyed.

 _ **'This is all my fault.'**_ Toudai thought as his hands went cold. **_'This is all my fault. Because of Rubi, I...This is...'_**

“Oi, doc.” Rubi said, “What is—”

“Get out.”

Rubi's eyes widened again.

“Get out of my house.”

Toudai took off his coat and put it by his cat.

“What, why?” Rubi glowered with obvious confusion.

Toudai didn't answer as carefully lifted Shiro up. The cat hissed, which made guilt riddle his heart, but he had to move him regardless. He put Shiro down on his coat.

What the hell is that?!” Rubi growled. “It's not like I did this! I—”

“You did do this! Get out!”

“How is this my—”

“Because of what we've done! Because we...!”

Toudai couldn't finish the sentence. Rubi wouldn't understand. Toudai wasn't allowed to tell anyone what was wrong with him. He couldn't tell anyone about his curse, about his life. It could only get worse if he did.

No, Toudai had to keep everything to himself. He couldn't explain himself to Rubi. All he could do was eliminate the reason his heart ached. He had to remove the one thing that would make Toudai fall from his gender norms.

But right now, that wasn't important. Shiro was the most important. He had to try and get help for Shiro. He couldn't help him himself, so he had to go to the only one who could—Shinra.

“Just get out!” Toudai hissed as he wrapped the cat up as gently as he could. “You're not welcome here anymore and I'll explain it all to Shiki-san!”

“This isn't my fault!” Rubi stood up, glaring at him. “I didn't do anything to him! I—”

“I don't care if you did or didn't! It doesn't change that it happened because of you!”

“How did it happen because—”

“JUST GET OUT!” Toudai hugged the feline to his chest. “I can't house you anymore! Just leave!”

Toudai rushed pass him. He quickly pulled on his shoes with one hand.

“I want you gone by the time I get back!” Toudai hissed.

“I didn't—”

Toudai didn't let him finish. He opened the door and slammed it shut behind him. The raven ran as fast as he could to Shinra's house.

* * *

Toudai sat on the Kishitani's couch. He had his hands tented together with his head tilted down and pressed against them. He had his eyes closed and was just waiting. It was the only thing he could do was wait. He had to hope that Shiro would be okay.

Shinra wasn't a veterinarian but there wasn't a veterinarian in town. The closest vet was Shiki, who only really knew how to take care of livestock, no different than the local farmers. He certainly couldn't help with something like a disease—which had to be what was wrong with Shiro. There was no way he'd have that visceral reaction like that from an injury, right? Toudai made sure to keep the chemical cupboards closed, so it couldn't be poison, right?

He didn't know. He just hoped Shinra could figure it out. Shinra was Shiro's best hope. So, Toudai could only wait.

The raven was there for nearly two hours. Finally, Shinra came out of the room. Toudai looked up quickly before standing.

“S-so?” Toudai asked.

Shinra reached his hand out and patted Toudai's shoulder. “Unfortunately, there's very little I can do. You should come say good-bye.”

Toudai's heart wrenched immediately. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I'm sorry, Toudai-kun.”

“What do you mean there's nothing you can do?!”

“There is something I can do, but it may just hurt him more in the end.”

“Wha—Why?!”

“Your cat has heartworms. They already spread to his lungs. Unfortunately, with heartworms you can't really heal them, you can only stop them from happening. There isn't really a medicine for cats to get rid of them. Our only real option at this point is surgery on both his heart and lungs. But the chances of him surviving are very slim. I can try if you really want, but in my opinion, it would be better to euthanize him.”

“If there's a chance then shouldn't you do it?!”

“Toudai, I'm not a veterinarian. I would like to, but I've never worked on a heart or a pair of lungs that small before.”

“You've never aided a baby before?!”

“Honestly, no. Not open-heart surgery and lung surgery.”

“Then what was the point of me bringing him to you?!”

“Toudai-kun, I'll do all I can. But in my professional opinion, I don't think your cat will survive the surgery. If it was just his heart, sure. But both heart and lungs? I'm confident that he will not survive. Surgical removal of heartworms already has a 40% death rate. Added with his lungs, if I have to put a number on it, I say his death rate is 70%.”

“That's still not 100! There's still a chance he can—”

“He will die during the surgery, or he'll die after the surgery. I am confident with this.”

Toudai clenched his teeth.

“I can try, but I know it's a lost cause. All I'm going to do is prolong his suffering and give you false hope.”

“But what if he does survive? What if that 30% is actually the difference?! You want to give up without even trying?!”

“Everyone says things like that, Toudai. 'My dog isn't like normal dogs. He's stronger than other dogs, so he'll certainly live.' 'My cats still has three lives left!' Listen, I get it. Really, I do. And if you really, _really_ want me to try then I will, but he will most-likely die during the surgery. Before I put him under for the surgery, he'll be scared and looking for you.”

“He'll be scared and looking for me if you euthanize him!”

“But you can be with him for that. You can't be with him for the surgery.”

“I can't—That's such a stupid reason to—”

“Toudai-kun, I don't have the means to save him. I don't have the means to perform such a surgery with confidence. As I said, it's a lost cause.”

“He's my best friend, dammit! Don't call him a lost cause!”

Shinra stared before letting out a heavy sigh. He shook his head, then nodded. “Alright. I'll give you five minutes. Then I'll start the surgery.”

Toudai glared. The bespectacled doctor didn't say anything else as he turned away to go into another room. The raven watched him go.

He then went into the room Shinra had just came from. He saw Shiro sitting on a metal table, a simple cloth under him to keep him warm. His chest was shaved bare and Toudai could see that the ultrasound machine was still on. His eyes were still open, but they looked blurry.

Toudai walked over and sat down in the chair in front of him. He reached his hand out and stroked Shiro's head with his thumb.

“Hey,” Toudai said, “It'll be okay. Shinra's gonna fix you. He's gonna take care of you. He'll make you feel all better. He'll...”

Toudai's lip started to quiver as fresh tears flooded his eyes.

_**'The chances of him surviving are so low. Doing the surgery will only prolong his suffering. But he'll be put under, so he won't be able to feel it. It won't hurt him to try. It won't...'** _

Toudai tilted his head down, closing his eyes tight shut.

_**'If he survives the surgery, he may not survive the healing process. If he doesn't survive the healing process, then he'll just be miserable and in pain the entire time until he finally passes. No matter the options, he's going to die.'** _

Toudai rubbed his hand across Shiro's neck. He felt the faintest of purrs coming from his little form. The cat was just conscious enough to register Toudai was there. Just conscious enough to be happy that Toudai was there.

_**'I can't kill him! Euthanizing feels like I'm going to kill him! It may be a mercy, but...!'** _

“This is all my fault...” Toudai sobbed softly.

 _ **'I shouldn't have started that relationship with Rubi. I should have known I would have caught feelings for him. How could I possibly have sex with him and**_ not **_start feeling something for him? That was a risk I shouldn't have taken! I shouldn't have tried to find loopholes.'_**

Toudai started to cry uncontrollably.

_**'All for what? To have sex? To break my love for Tsugaru? I could have just ghosted him! I could have just rejected him! I didn't need to have sex with another man to make my feelings disappear! I...!'** _

Toudai looked up at his cat.

_**'No matter what, Shiro's going to die. My curse isn't going to let him live through this. I damned him, all because I wanted to have sex...'** _

The raven clenched his teeth hard.

_**'His suffering will only continue too. I have to do what's best for Shiro. Even if it's so hard.'** _

“Alright, Toudai.” Shinra's voice made the raven jolt. “I'll be starting the surgery now. You should wait in the—”

“We should euthanize him.” Toudai cut him off, his voice thick with tears.

Shinra didn't respond.

“I don't want him...I want him to be okay, but...” Toudai clenched his teeth. “I don't want him to suffer more than he needs to...”

Shinra was quiet. He then walked over. He patted Toudai's shoulder, his hand a little damp. No doubt he had washed them for the surgery. But now that wasn't needed, so it was fine if he touched the raven.

“It'll be alright.” Shinra said. “I know it hurts, but you're doing the right thing.”

Toudai didn't respond. Just cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking wrote this with my cat sitting across my arms and chest the entire time. Fucking sobbing like a bitch while my arm loses circulation (she's 20lbs and loves sitting right on my bicep).
> 
> Everyone who has a pet, love them good. And give them some spoilings for the next hour. We don't deserve animals.
> 
> 💢💢


	18. Chapter 17

Toudai wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He felt absolutely wretched and wished he could just sleep and never wake up. His heart was in pieces. After a terrible thirty minutes of just holding Shiro until he passed on, he then spent the next hour digging up a grave for him. Shinra was kind enough to help. They went back to Toudai's house, picked a spot behind the house where no one would tread or disturb it, and got to work. Digging six feet deep was hard on their hands, but they did it and laid Shiro to rest.

Shinra offered to keep Toudai company, but he didn't want it. He wanted to be alone. So, Shinra went home while Toudai went inside. The house was dark and quiet. No one seemed to be there. That made his heart sink even further.

_**'Did Rubi...actually leave?'** _

The raven wanted to call out for him, but he couldn't find his voice. So, instead, he went down the hall to the harpy's room. He knocked on the door. There was no response. Toudai opened the door.

The room was dark. He flicked on the light. Sure enough, Rubi wasn't there and all his stuff was gone—even the sleeveless half-yukata's that Toudai had made for him.

_**'So, he really did...'** _

Toudai wasn't happy about that. Even though he was the one who told Rubi to leave, he really wanted the harpy to comfort him. He wanted to sit in Rubi's arms and cry for a bit. But that wouldn't happen now.

 _ **'...It's for the best.'**_ Toudai decided. **_'It was because I started developing affection for him that Shiro died. I shouldn't allow a chance for something worse to happen.'_**

Toudai turned and went to his bedroom. He flicked on the light, which he immediately regretted. He illuminated his bedroom, in turn illuminated all of Shiro's stuff. His scratching post, his water and food bowl, his little bed that was in the open closet.

Toudai felt like crying all over again. The raven turned away and left his bedroom, turning off the light. He was going to lie down on the couch. No, wait, he couldn't do that. Whenever Toudai would lie on the couch, Shiro would lie on his stomach or chest. Without question or fail, he always would get up from wherever he was lying to come lie on Toudai.

No, he couldn't sleep there. He needed to go somewhere else. He needed to lie down elsewhere. The only other option was his dad's room. If he wanted to avoid his room, Rubi's room and the couch, he had to sleep in his dad's room. That hurt just as much. But at the same time, maybe it would provide comfort? Maybe it would make him feel a little better, to be in that nostalgic area.

Toudai walked down the hall, making it to the room at the very end. He hesitated to open it. He only touched this room long enough to clean the dust off everything. But that was it. He hadn't even washed the clothes in the drawers.

He grabbed the doorknob. He opened it and went inside. The room hadn't changed at all. The only difference was the lack of a middle-aged man in there. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as Toudai thought it would. He could lie down on the bed and he only felt a small pang. It didn't smell like him anymore. That made him a little sad, but it was nothing he couldn't get pass.

He inhaled deeply and exhaled a stuttering breath. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted to rest. He wouldn't have to think of anything if he just slept. Diamond, Shiro, Rubi. They wouldn't be able to weigh on his heart if he was asleep.

He was just going to sleep. He wouldn't be getting up anytime soon either. He had patients tomorrow, but he'll just ignore them. They'll get the hint, he was sure, and he'll apologize to them later.

Right now, he just wanted to sleep. Maybe everything will be okay in the morning...

* * *

“ _Things are never going to be that simple for you, especially not now.”_

Toudai heard the voice in his mind. He couldn't remember the dream he had, but he remembered the last thing said was that. He didn't really care though. He knew it was that bastard that always asked him to be his. Not like he had anything important to say anyway, and he didn't need him piling on in Toudai's moment of weakness.

Luckily, he didn't have to hear anything more. The dream was interrupted by someone walking around his house. At first, he thought it was Rubi, until he realized he kicked him out. Toudai blinked rapidly as he lifted his head. Someone broke into his house!

The bedroom door opened. Toudai jolted upright.

Shiki stood in the doorway. The prickle of panic immediately disappeared as annoyance and confusion replaced it.

“Wha—”

“Wait, you're here?” Shiki voiced.

“Of course I'm here. Where else would I be?” Toudai rubbed his eyes. “Why are you breaking into my house?”

“You weren't answering the door.” The mayor crossed his arms. “Your patients said you weren't at home. We assumed you disappeared with Hachimenoppi and Tsukishima.”

Toudai paused. His eyes widened as he looked up at Shiki. “Disappeared? What do you mean they disappeared?”

“I mean as I say. Tsugaru reported that they were both missing this morning. You refused to answer the door, so we assumed you had gone with them. I came in here to check for clues as to where you could have gone. Your doors weren't locked, after all.”

_**'...Did I not lock up last night? I don't remember...'** _

“Shinra told us what happened yesterday with your cat.”

Toudai's brows furrowed. He then turned away to lie back down. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“I think you should, but I won't push. However, I've been in contact with Akabayashi. I don't think it's fair to blame Rubi for what happened. He couldn't control that your cat had heartworms.”

“...I know. But there's another reason I kicked him out. I just...I can't house him anymore.”

“Why? What did he do?”

“Nothing that needs to concern you.”

Shiki stared. “Are you certain?”

“Yes.”

Shiki didn't look convinced. Toudai just rested his head on the pillow.

“I just can't be around him anymore.” The doctor said, “And you don't need to know why. Respect my privacy.”

Shiki glowered. However, he nodded. “Alright. Since you didn't know, I'm assuming Tsukishima and Roppi didn't stop by here.”

“If they did, they didn't wake me up.”

Shiki nodded again. “Do you know where they may have went?”

“Not a wit.”

“...Well, we would like you to join the search party. The Heartstones are making a search party as well and they''ll be joining. We'd like too have a doctor in case they're injured.”

“Ask Shinra or Shingen.” Toudai rolled over so his back was to Shiki. “I'm a gynecologist. Can't help with broken bones.”

_**'And no doubt Rubi's at the head of that search party.'** _

“You're more than a gynecologist.” Shiki stated, “Your father taught you more than that. Besides, Tsukishima trusts you more.”

“If he ran away, he obviously doesn't care for the opinions of those he trusts. I would suggest you talk to Tsugaru. He's the one who drove them away anyhow.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Last time I talked to them, Tsugaru admitted that he wants to separate Roppi and Tsuki. That once the baby's born, he's going to drive Roppi back to the Heartstone clan with that kid. That he has no intention to let Tsukishima make a relationship with Roppi because he doesn't want Tsukishima to move out.”

Shiki didn't respond.

“Tsukishima also confessed to me that Roppi was very upset that his marriage and pregnancy has turned into a political icon. He just wants to have his baby in peace, not produce the next messiah. I suggested that they talk about what they want in their relationship. So, maybe they decided that they'd like to date and be a couple rather than act as a bridge between the town and the clan.”

“That's selfish.”

“So is assuming that their relationship shouldn't be their main concern, especially when they're going to have a baby together.”

Shiki didn't respond again.

“If they feel safe, they'll come back. If not, then they'll make a life where they're comfortable.”

“You shouldn't be encouraging this.”

“And if Tsugaru had treated Tsukishima's wife better, this wouldn't have happened to begin with.”

Shiki was silent. He then let out a sigh.

“If Rubi hurt you,” The mayor said, “you should let me know. The last thing I want is for him to get away with whatever made you so bitter.”

Toudai glowered at the pillow. He then turned his head to glare at Shiki. “That has nothing to do with this conversation.”

“You're not this cold. Tsukishima is missing and you're saying it's alright? You grew up with him, yet you don't seem to care. And the day before you just kicked Rubi out? Something happened between you two.”

“It's none of your damn business, Shiki. I can take care of myself. And whatever happened between me and Rubi has nothing to do with my opinion on how poorly Tsugaru was treating Roppi-kun. You can't treat people like shit and expect them to be okay with it.”

Shiki didn't respond.

“If that's all you want, I ask that you get out of my house.” Toudai lied down.

“...Understood.”

With that, the mayor left. The door closed, and Toudai heard Shiki walking down the hall. He let out a heavy sigh as he rested his head on the pillow. Now alone, he could feel a bit of guilt that he just turned his back on Tsukishima.

_**'I hope Tsukishima's okay. And Roppi-kun. They definitely left because of Tsugaru, but where will they even go? Will Tsuki and Roppi be okay? They have to make it through the woods...Will they be able to defend themselves? What if they come across a bear or wolves?'** _

Toudai's stomach started to tighten with worry.

_**'Maybe I should go. I can help them.'** _

Toudai glared at the wall. He already knew what he needed to do. Avoiding Rubi wasn't worth Tsukishima's safety. He let out a heavy sigh. The raven sat up, throwing the blanket off.

As soon as he stood, he felt a stab of nausea creep up his being. It was so sudden, so profound, that Toudai couldn't keep it down. He covered his mouth with his hand and rushed to his bathroom. He slammed the door open and rushed to the toilet. At the notion of sweet release, he couldn't hold it anymore. Vomit covered his hand and over the toilet seat before most of the vile liquid landed in the bowl. He groaned, then wretched and projected more puke into the toilet.

Toudai moaned in pain. He then sat back to rest against the sink cupboards.

_**'What was that? Where'd that come from?'** _

The raven glowered at the ceiling. He then grabbed some toilet paper and wiped his mouth, hand, and toilet seat. He blew his nose for good measure as well. He stood and washed his hands. He had to take off his shirt, since he got some puke on the sleeve. He stripped that off, put the sleeve under the water and started washing it as best he could. Once he deemed it as clean as he could, he put it in the laundry hamper.

He let out a heavy sigh as he went to his bedroom. He went about stripping off his wrappings as he walked, dropping them on the floor since he didn't really care. He had forgotten to take them off yesterday, so his chest was hurting a bit. His breasts were free, which made him exhale in relief. He entered his room and pulled out a new button-up. He decided not to put on new wrappings. He didn't intend to go out, so what did it matter?

Ah, but Tsukishima...

Another wave of nausea slammed into Toudai. His eyes stretched wide as he planted his hand over his mouth again. He made another mad dash to the bathroom. He was able to hold it better than before, in which he made it to the toilet without making a mess. The raven vomited again, heaving hard.

_**'What the hell is wrong with me?! Why do I feel so sick suddenly?'** _

Toudai groaned.

_**'Well, looks like I'm not going to go looking for Tsukishima.'** _

* * *

The doctor spent the next two hours fighting back the urge to vomit. He managed to keep it down for the most part. But he failed on three occasions and vomited. One of those times was nothing but water, since he had been making sure to keep himself hydrated. It was a wretched two hours, but finally he felt alright enough to eat a light meal.

He spent the rest of his day lounging around, fighting off the grief. It was certainly hard to do such when he expected Shiro to trill at him every time he moved on the couch. Every time he went into the fridge, he expected his cat to rub against his leg in hopes for some meat. He didn't want to shower because Shiro would get in the bath with him. He didn't want to lie down since Shiro would lie on him.

It was just so hard to do anything without remembering all the norms he had with Shiro. He never thought losing a pet would hurt as much as losing his father. But with that realization came a new wretched epiphany: He was completely alone now.

Diamond was gone. Shiro was gone. He drove away Tsugaru. And now he drove away Rubi.

He was completely alone. Toudai's heart wrenched with that.

 _ **'What do I do now?'**_ Toudai thought with a sudden rush of loss. **_'How am I supposed to live like this? Why should I live like this? The only way I can live happy is to be alone? No relationship, no family. If I get any affection for a potential lover, I may get them killed. So, I can live happy and free, but I have to be alone and unloved. Is that even worth it?'_**

Toudai tilted his head down with a soft sigh.

“Of course it's better. I'm not going to give up my freedom just so I can fall in love.” Toudai rested his head on the back of the couch, turning his head to look out the window across the room. “If I become his, I won't be able to fall in love with anyone. I'll just be a slave or whatever other thing he has planned for me. Being alone is better...”

Toudai let out a heavy sigh.

“It's better...”

* * *

A full month passed.

Over that time, the search for Tsukishima and Hachimenroppi was a success. The Heartstone and human search party found them five days later—or more so, the couple found the search party as they were returning home. Toudai hadn't talked to them since their return, but last he heard, Tsuki and Roppi were looking for a home to move into. They had decided they'd move out. Toudai didn't know how Tsugaru responded to this, but he decided he shouldn't pry—less he get yelled at again.

As far as he'd heard, they hadn't had any luck. There currently weren't any houses for sale, so Tsukishima and Hachimenroppi commissioned Kadota to make them one. He heard talk of them living in the woods just a bit outside of the town, which Toudai thought was a good idea since it wasn't fair for Roppi to assimilate and Tsuki to do nothing.

Toudai could only wish them the best. They were scheduled for another checkup within the next few days, so the raven would be able to ask them personally what the big plan was. He had no intention to actually go over and ask, so he'll just wait for them to come to him.

After all, not only did he want to avoid Tsugaru, but he also wanted to avoid Rubi. After the couples return, Akabayashi—accompanied by Shiki—had tried to advocate for Toudai to let Rubi stay. Toudai apologized for his selfish rudeness, but he had no intention of letting the white harpy stay with him any longer, for personal reasons. They couldn't sway the doctor. Shiki had attempted to get Toudai to explain. He even dropped the hint of something unseemly happening between them. Along the lines of why a girl who lives alone shouldn't let a strange man stay with her. But Toudai denied such a thing and ended the conversation there.

And so it was decided that Rubi would remain with his clan permanently. He would just come down to visit Roppi. If Tsuki and Roppi got that new house, then it'd be easier for Rubi to visit, but until then, the white harpy had to come to the town. Because of that, he was still hanging around.

Or so Toudai had heard. The doctor hadn't been out much in the last month. He had been fighting a lot of nausea over the last thirty days. It would come and go in waves. Some days he wouldn't have to worry about it, and other days it'd hold him for hours. He wasn't sure why for the longest time.

But then he noticed he had gained weight in the stomach area. And he hadn't had a menstrual cycle since before he kicked Rubi out.

Toudai had thought of many reasons as to what was wrong with him. Nausea and weight gain, it was nearly obvious. But the raven couldn't admit that. He couldn't deal with that. It had to be something else.

So, the raven took a blood sample and a urine sample, in which he put them through some tests. He waited patiently for the machine to finish going through everything in the samples. He was a ball of apprehension and anxiety as he sat in his chair. He had his hands clamped together and resting on his knees. His hands were shaking and his foot was tapping sporadically. His eyes were closed as he bit his bottom lip.

_**'Please be wrong. Please be wrong. Please, be anything but what I'm thinking. Please, please, please.'** _

He waited for thirty minutes before the machine finally finished. He perked up to the beep, jumping to his feet and rushing over. He stood by the printer, where it was dispensing the results. He held the end of the paper. He wanted to pull it out, but the ink wouldn't be able to apply to the paper if he did, so he had to wait.

It had only take a few seconds, but it felt like another ten minutes before the paper was finished. He didn't hesitate to flip it over.

Toudai's legs felt weak at the sight. He slowly sunk down until he sat on the floor.

“No...” Toudai muttered, “No...I can't be pregnant...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💢💢💢  
> I want to be done with this story! No one seems all that interested in it, and it wasn't supposed to be this long. It was supposed to be 15 chapters at most, but I fucked it. I fucked it running with no lube and now I want to cry. We're finally at the half-way point and I fUcKiNg hate it!  
> I just want to write the Shizuo/Izaya Heartstone story! I'm literally only interested in their story for this series, but I've gotta post these in chronological order and I don't discontinue work, so gOdDaMmIt, I'm going to finish this even if no one likes it (myself included).  
> Fuck.  
> Me.  
> Honestly, what really pisses me off about this story is that it's not even Toudaimoto Kurashi and Ruby No Yubiwa from Durarara at this point. It's Toudai and Rubi from my Hunters series! It's not even a fanfiction at this point. It's just a sidestory to my series that I've tricked myself into believing is a fanfic (well, I guess it's still a fanfic because this isn't their personalities either, so a fanfic of my own work that's not even published? Ain't that a crock of shit.) Like, fuck man. How'd I even do that?  
> The last time I was this infuriated with a story was Who Are You? and I must say, I don't miss the feeling.  
> BUT GODDAMMIT we're still going to persevere though this!  
> Thanks for sticking with me so far and for reading this A/N of me pissing and moaning.  
> Bitch, bitch, bitch, whine, whine, whine.  
> Moving on! Next chapter!


	19. Chapter 18

Toudai was terrified. He was lost and had no clue what to do.

No, not 'he'. He couldn't be a 'he' anymore. Soon enough, he would be a mother, so there was no denying that 'he' was indeed a 'she'.

Which meant that she couldn't live happily. She couldn't accept that she was a woman. She couldn't acknowledge it. This was the exact preference of her curse and so, there was no doubt that soon—very soon—things were going to get terribly nasty. If she were to have a baby, she and the child would suffer greatly. There was no escape for both of them. There was only an escape for one.

She was going to have to abort. But could Toudai do that? Not only would that require her telling another doctor that she was pregnant and acknowledging that she was female, but it was also past the ten-week mark.. From the tests, it showed that she had been pregnant for nearly three months.

_**'So, I got pregnant almost as soon as Rubi and I started our relationship. There was no loopholing my curse. I fucked up from the beginning...'** _

That meant this baby had a heartbeat. By personal preference, she didn't like aborting a baby when they have a heartbeat. She knew that logically, the baby wouldn't have a fully developed brain and nervous system until seven months, so it wouldn't be able to feel pain. So aborting a baby up to that point wouldn't hurt the child.

But...it had a heartbeat. If she aborted, wouldn't it be a murder? No, it was her body, so it was her decision. She was free to abort if she wanted. The fetus wouldn't suffer for it. But did she need to? Could she give up this baby? There was life in her womb right now. Pulsing, growing life. How could she abort it?

Toudai wasn't sure. Wouldn't it be better to abort? If she birthed this child, it would only suffer with her. What if it died anyway? What if her curse killed her baby? How could she bring a baby in this world when she was doomed?

But maybe she could have the baby then raise the child like a father? Would that count? She just had to make it through the pregnancy.

However, would it even be a good idea? Toudai wasn't...fully human, after all. And this child would be half Heartstone. So, it'd be ½ Heartstone, ¼ human and ¼...something else. Would this baby even be a Heartstone? Would it be able to live when Toudai had to struggle to make it this far? Would her inhuman blood clash with the Heartstone blood and force an abortion anyway?

There were just too many questions and not enough answers. She couldn't do this. She couldn't figure this out on her own. She needed help. But she couldn't go to anyone in the town. Shingen had been looking for an opportunity like this for so long. He had been looking for an excuse to study Toudai since they met and who knew what kind of 'experimenting' he would do. Toudai remembered the horror story Diamond told her about the dullahan that Shingen dissected. There was no way she could go to either Shingen nor Shinra. But there was no one else qualified to give her medical aide.

She would need to go outside of the town to figure this out. What's more, it would be best to get the opinion of the father on this subject, wouldn't it? Right now, monster aide was far better than human aide. They would certainly have more answers. Besides, Rubi could at least help her come to a decision on what to do. Maybe she could even get help from that mysterious man in the cave. Either or way, she needed to get to the Heartstones. She needed to get help from Rubi.

With that decided, Toudai made her way up the mountain. The journey was long and arduous. The sun beat down on her. Her feet hurt. But she made it up to Heartstone peak in a few hours.

“Hello?” Toudai called.

There was no response.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

Silence.

“I need to talk to Rubi. If anyone can hear me, please can you tell him Toudai needs to see him?”

Only the rustling leaves answered him.

However, in the next moment, a gust of wind picked up the dirt. Toudai crossed her arms in front of her face and closed her eyes tight shut. She heard the clacking of claws on stones. Once the dirt settled, she looked up.

Three Heartstone's stood before her. Toudai didn't recognize two of them. One had red-and-yellow feathers while the other had blue-and-orange ones. They both looked to be in their teen years. However, at the head of there group was someone she certainly recognized. Pink, white, and blond feathers who stood with confidence and a prominent scowl.

“Why are you here?” Rubi hissed.

Toudai felt a stab of pain to the hostility. She should have expected that, honestly. After all, she had kicked him out quite callously. However, it hurt all the same to know she was hated by the father of her child.

“Speak, human!” The blue-and-orange Heartstone yelled. “Why are you trespassing on our territory?!”

Toudai glowered at the boy.

“Don't you glare at him.” Rubi growled. “You're not supposed to be here, so you don't get to be pissy with us.”

“Peh, just like a human to be in the wrong and act like the vindicated one.” The red-and-yellow harpy crossed his arms.

“I told you humans were petty.” Rubi stated. “You just have to ignore them when they act like this.”

Toudai's heart wrenched to the words. _**'You call me petty when you're the one who's being spiteful because of what happened? You're setting terrible examples for the younger generation on how to treat humans when we're trying to come to peace!'**_

She clenched her teeth hard to keep herself from say that aloud. Right now wasn't the time to fight. She needed to make this right, so that Rubi would help her. As much as she hated it, she would swallow her pride for now.

“Rubi, I...” Toudai started. She then bowed slightly. “I'm sorry about what happened before. I know I was in the wrong.”

“Jee, took you this long to figure that out?” Rubi sneered.

“Yes, alright? It took me this long.” Toudai looked up at him. “But I need to speak with you about something.”

“Then speak.”

“Privately.”

The two teenager snickered.

“As if we're going to let you go off with Òmgotoris.”

“You humans are all perverts! Who knows what you plan to do to him!”

“Rubi, please.” Toudai ignored them, only look at Rubi. “It's important.”

_**'He was so worried about what his clanmates thought of him before. I need to get him alone if I'm going to tell him...'** _

Rubi stared at her. For a long minute, he didn't say anything. Then he crossed his arms and shifted his weight onto one hip.

“You can tell me here.” Rubi stated. “I don't see a reason to be alone with you.”

“But Rubi—”

“Either you tell me here, or you go away. Your choice.”

Toudai clenched his teeth. _**'But your clanmates...!'**_

The doctor seemed to have no choice in the matter. She let out a soft sigh. “Fine.”

Toudai stood upright. She maintained eye contact with Rubi and only Rubi as the controversial words left her lips.

“I'm pregnant.”

Rubi's eyes widened.

“And I don't know what to do. I need your help. We need to figure out what we're—”

“What do you mean 'we'?!” The blue-and-orange boy yelled, a look of outrage crossing his face. “Are you saying that Òmgotoris is the ninepow?!”

“Ha! As if!” The other boy laughed. “Like Òmgotoris would ever lay with a human!”

“That is such a disgusting lie!”

“You humans really are the worse! Who lies about who the ninepow is?!”

Such words hurt. However, she didn't look at them. She kept eye contact with Rubi and only Rubi. She waited for the blond to respond with bated breath and clenched teeth. She had a feeling the nervousness she felt was on her expression.

Rubi was silent for a long time, All the while, the boys continued to badger and accuse Toudai. Rubi did nothing to stop them, so Toudai had to just put up with the abuse.

Finally, he sneered with a chuckle. Toudai's heart twisted at the sight.

“As if I would ever sleep with a human.” Rubi said.

Toudai's blood went cold to the words. Her eyes widened as her heart started to hammer with panic.

“Don't you have anything better to do with your day?” Rubi shrugged. “Coming up here just to spew lies.”

“Unlike you, we're actually busy!” The red-and-yellow boy yelled.

“While you're wasting your breath trying to deceive others,” The blue-and-orange one called, “We have borders to hold and scent markers to renew!”

“Why are you even here to waste our time?”

“Get out of here, you zazanek!”

“Scram!”

The two boys turned around and started kicking dirt at Toudai. The doctor took a step back and shielded her face. She felt pebbles hit her arm and torso. Dirt got in her clothes and boots.

Her heart was beating so fast. Betrayal and heartache gripped her being. Tears stung her eyes as her hands started shaking. She lowered her arm to look at Rubi. The blond was doing nothing to stop the teenagers. He just stared at her with a cold and uncaring expression. As if Toudai was nothing to him. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They streamed her face without restraint.

A sob escaped her throat before she turned away. Without looking back, she ran into the trees. The teens yelled more jabs and jeers after her, but she didn't care to listen to them.

_**'So, that's it? That's all I ever was to you? You didn't care about me at all? Not even a little? I was the only one to develop a crush! And now I'm the only one who's going to pay for it!'** _

Toudai doesn't know how long she ran for. But once she couldn't hear the voices anymore, she stopped. She stood in the middle of a clearing. She was panting heavily, bent down to try and catch her breath. Then she fell to her knees as sobs took over her form.

_**'What the hell am I supposed to do? Rubi, I need you. I'm so scared. I can't do this alone...'** _

Toudai pressed her face into her hands and just cried.

* * *

Toudai stood in front of the Kaikyo house. Night cascaded the sky now. She spent a long time crying in the woods. When she finally calmed down, it was finally dusk. By the time she made it down the mountain, it was pitch black out.

As she traveled down, desperation began to settle in. The father of her child had just abandoned her. She couldn't get to the man in the cave without the helps of a Heartstone and certainly Akabayashi wouldn't take her up. Once he heard Rubi's side of the story, he'll certainly take his son's side rather than hers. And if Shiki found out...

Panic made Toudai blind. She didn't know what to do and her main option had blatantly rejected her. She needed to do something. So, she went to the only person who would possibly help her. The one person who had originally loved her. Certainly he wouldn't leave her in her moment of need.

She pushed the doorbell. There was a small wait before the front door opened.

“Who is it?” Tsugaru's voice came over the wall.

“Um, it-it's Toudai...”

Silent met her words. There was a long pause, which terrified Toudai. Would Tsugaru abandon her too?

_**'Please, please, please, please—'** _

The gate opened. Toudai's heart flooded with hope as she finally saw the blue-clad blond. However, Tsugaru didn't seem too happy to see her as there was a scowl on his face. Toudai's chest tightened with newfound fear. Another man who she loved hated her. If he didn't care about her anymore...

“Roppi and Tsukishima already went to bed, so—”

“N-no, I'm not here for them.” Toudai said quickly. “I...! I...wanted to see you...”

Tsugaru raised his lantern higher to illuminate Toudai's face. He cocked a brow.

“Have you been crying?”

Such a simple question made a bubble of emotions flood her chest anew. Her bottom lip quivered as tears stung her eyes anew.

“I um...I...Had a rough night...” Toudai's voice shook with barely contained emotions.

Tsugaru stared for a moment. He then stepped to the side. “Please, come in.”

Toudai did so without question. Tsugaru closed the gate door behind her. He put his arm around Toudai, which made it impossible for her to hold her emotions. She choked down her sobs and rubbed the tears from her eyes.

“What happened?” Tsugaru asked as they made it to the front door.

”I just...I...” Toudai clenched her teeth.

Tsugaru opened the door and the two stepped inside. No one was in the living room, so Tsugaru guided Toudai to sit on the couch.

“I just realized I made a lot of mistakes in the past few months.” Toudai said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Especially when it came to our relationship.”

Tsugaru just looked at her with slight confusion.

“I...I'm sorry, Tsugaru.” Toudai grabbed his hand, “I'm so, so sorry for my callous behavior before. I just...I was scared to commit to you, to accept...”

Toudai tilted his head down. She felt dirty and wrong for doing this. For trying to establish a relationship with Tsugaru after rejecting him, all because she was abandoned by the father of her child. What would the end goal even be? To start dating Tsugaru then somehow explain why her baby was part Heartstone when trying to pass it off as the humans? This was certainly wrong.

But she was too scared to do anything else. She couldn't do this alone. She needed someone to help her, someone to support her. If Rubi wouldn't have her, then surely Tsugaru would. Right?

“I didn't want to lose my independence,” Toudai lied, “I thought if I were to be with you, I'd have to be subservient.”

“...I never asked that of you.” Tsugaru rubbed the back of her hand. “I wanted to be with you to be with you.”

“I know that now. But I just...I couldn't see that...But now...” Toudai looked at up at him with a crooked smile. “I understand it now. I want to love you, Tsugaru. I want to be with you.”

The blond stared at him. He then averted his eyes. “I...”

Toudai's heart started to beat with panic. Why wasn't he smiling at that? Why wasn't he accepting her immediately? Did she wait too long? Is it all over between them?

“Tsugaru...?”

The blond frowned.

“I-I'm serious, Tsugaru. I'm really sorry. I'm so, so sorry for what I said! I—”

Tsugaru's hand caressed her cheek. Toudai jolted in surprise. The blond rubbed a tear away before leaning in. Relief enveloped the doctor at the gesture. He accepted her. He wasn't going to leave her. She had someone.

Their lips met. It was a chaste kiss that lacked passion. Toudai couldn't help thinking it seemed hesitant. It certainly felt like it. She wasn't sure if it was just her pessimism speaking for her or if she actually noticed how much Tsugaru seemed to dislike it.

The blond separated. He looked at her, scrutinizing her face. His thumb rubbed her cheek again. Then his expression soured.

“It's just not the same.”

Toudai's heart wrenched to the words as her hands went cold. “W-what?”

“I can't, Toudai-kun. I'm sorry.” The blond turned away. “I...”

He trailed off as he let out a heavy sigh.

“Wh-what do you—Why can't you?!” Toudai called, “I'm returning your feelings! I'm—”

“I don't think you're in the right state of mind to be returning my feelings. I don't know what's wrong with you right now, but obviously you're just looking for someone to make you feel better.”

The raven was frozen as her chest felt tight. _**'No, not him too. Tsugaru can't abandon me too! He can't—'**_

“I won't pry. I haven't been honest with you either.” Tsugaru looked at her. “I haven't been honest with many people recently.”

“What does _that_ means?”

“It means what it means, but I don't have to tell you.”

“You're literally breaking my heart here and you _don't_ have to tell me?!” Toudai stood. “What, is this payback for before?! I said I was sorry! I—”

“It's just not you, Toudai-kun. You're not who I want. You were just...” Tsugaru let out a heavy sigh. “You were just a replacement.”

Toudai felt like her heart shatter. “R-replace...”

Tsugaru didn't say anything.

“Bu-bu-but! You-you took my virginity! You said you wanted to marry me! You said—”

“I liked you back then. When I took your virginity, I did like you. But I didn't love you.”

Toudai clenched his teeth. _**'So my dad died for an 'I like you'?!'**_

“No, I didn't fall in love with anyone until I met Psyche...”

_**'Who's Psyche?'** _

“Psyche was...But I threw them away. And that person on the mountain knew it still tore me up inside. He told me there was no undoing what I had done. He told me I could only move on. I thought that meant falling in love with another, but that can't be it. Because I don't want to fall in love again. I don't want to be with anyone else but Psyche.”

Tears streaked Toudai's cheeks anew. “So, everything you ever told me was a lie? You don't...Actually care for me?”

Tsugaru didn't respond. Rage started to bubble in Toudai's chest.

“Then what was you getting jealous of Rubi about?!”

The blond looked at him. “There was a part of me that saw you as mine. You know, we've been friends since forever and you've never wanted to be with anyone else but me. So, the idea of you finding affection for another man besides me...I don't know, it was like holding the title for top student and having someone take your spot. It was infuriating that you could consider someone more important than me.”

_**'So my love for you was just a trophy?!'** _

Toudai couldn't stop sobbing. Why was this happening to her? Why did Tsugaru have to come to this conclusion now, when she was emotionally unstable and vulnerable? Why did her curse have to make everything worse?!

The raven couldn't take anymore of this.

“FUCK YOU!” Toudai yelled in rage. “YOU DESERVE TO BE ALONE THEN!”

She then turned and ran to the front door. Tsugaru didn't try to follow. She pulled her shoes on and was out the door in a heartbeat. She didn't know where she was going as she just ran blindingly through the streets. She knew that she was heading to her house thanks to muscle memory but she didn't register that.

_**'Whether I'm a woman or a man, I'm still alone! I can't be happy no matter what I do!'** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💢💢💢💢


End file.
